Her Big Sky Cowboy

by Alissa Callen

  Their eyes locked and then held. She looked away and frowned. It was going to be a long summer if she couldn’t get herself and her hormones under control.

  Careful to not again look at Zane, Trinity returned to Finn’s side. Soon they said their good-byes to Mandy and headed further along Main Street to Marietta Western Wear. Zane accumulated a pile of clothes on the counter. Trinity eyed off the collection of jeans and practical plaid shirts. She headed to a rack of turquoise and black shirts, flicked through them for Zane’s size and then added a shirt to his clothing pile.

  “Really?” he asked, a dark brow kinked.

  “Yes, really. Real men can wear turquoise. You need some good shirts.” She inclined her head to where Finn stood, a pair of small cowboy boots in his hands, looking at a cabinet of silver belt buckles. “Finn will soon be in school and you’ll have PTA meetings to attend.”

  “So I guess that means I’ll need to pay another visit to Mandy this year?”

  “Seeing as it is only June, at least three times this year.”

  Trinity grinned at his groan and sat a candy-pink men’s shirt on top of the turquoise one.

  *

  Three sacks of clothes later, they left the western clothing store and crossed Main Street to Paradise Books. Trinity had promised Finn a book on spiders. She’d downloaded some to read on her iPad but Finn still required real books in order to gain the pre-literacy skills he’d need for school. They walked into the bookstore and Trinity’s steps slowed as she breathed in the timeless smell of new books.

  Lesley, the bookstore owner, sat perched on a stool behind the counter reading. She examined them from over the top of her thick spectacles and her weathered face broke into a delighted smile.

  “If it isn’t my two best customers.”

  Trinity glanced at Zane but he had his back to her so she couldn’t gauge his expression. Surely Lesley wasn’t talking about him? She hadn’t seen a single book lying around at Hollyhock Creek ranch house or on the empty bookshelves. The only books she’d discovered were the picture books in Finn’s bedroom.

  “Hi, Lesley,” she said, deciding the eccentric bookstore owner had mistaken Zane for someone else. “This is Finn.” She held up their clasped hands. “We’re on a mission to find a spider book.”

  Lesley smiled. “I know Finn. He’s the next generation of Nashes to shop here. His father and Zane used to visit with their mother before they could talk. She’d be so proud Zane is still an avid reader.”

  Trinity again looked at Zane and caught a dark flash of emotion in his eyes.

  Lesley continued talking. “Have a look on the table over there, Finn dear, while I get Trinity her books from out the back.”

  Finn slipped his hand from Trinity’s and made a beeline for a book with a black spider on a red background.

  Lesley bustled into a back room, the hem of her brown A-line skirt swinging before she emerged carrying a pile of books. She set them on the counter. Trinity inclined her head to see the titles on the spines. Bless kind-hearted and tenacious Lesley. She’d tracked down all the books Trinity had requested.

  “Thank you so much,” she said with a smile. “I see many late nights ahead.”

  “You’re very welcome.”

  Lesley again disappeared into the back room and this time reappeared with a larger pile.

  Zane quickly moved toward her. “Here, I’ll take them.” He set the books on the counter.

  Trinity frowned. The second pile had to be Zane’s. There were at least three books the same between the two stacks indicating they shared the same taste in crime fiction.

  Zane picked up the book on the top of the larger pile and bent to kiss Lesley’s lined cheek. “Lesley, you’re a gem. I’ve wanted to read this one for months.”

  She blushed and patted at her grey corkscrew curls she’d wrestled into a topknot. “I know. It took a while but I found it.”

  Trinity’s frown deepened. The book was a thriller she’d tried to get her hands on herself. She’d read the first two in the series and was desperate for the third.

  “I had no idea you two knew each other,” Lesley said glancing between the two of them. “Otherwise I’d have suggested you compare bookshelves, you have very similar tastes.”

  Trinity didn’t dare look at Zane. In a world in which she valued control, she suddenly felt way out of control. The more she rationalized that the cowboy beside her was Mr. Wrong, the more she found he ticked boxes for being Mr. Right.

  *

  Zane killed the pickup engine and looked across at his passengers. The trip to Marietta had tired everyone out. Finn lay asleep beside Trinity, his head on her shoulder and the spider book in his hand. Trinity had her arm around Finn and, expression hidden by her dark sunglasses, stared through the windshield. She’d said very little on the ride home.

  He passed a hand around the unfamiliar bare base of his neck. If he didn’t know better he’d have said something was wrong. The line of her mouth was a little too tight. But when it came to women, life hadn’t equipped him to understand them. His earliest memories were of his cold-faced father telling him his mother didn’t love him and had left. He’d then lived in an all-male household until Sophia had arrived with Marlisa. And look how that had ended.

  Zane pushed open the driver’s side door and walked around the front of the pickup. Perhaps if he’d understood Marlisa more and what she really wanted she wouldn’t have left him for Russ. He thought she hadn’t been serious when she’d wanted him to leave the ranch and make a life for them somewhere else. He’d honestly thought she valued being with him over having a fancy house to live in and city clothes. How wrong he’d been. But he knew now he’d never have made restless Marlisa happy. If it hadn’t been his brother she would have left him for the next man with a fancy car and a mouthful of pretty promises.

  Zane carefully opened the passenger side door. The way Finn was snuggled against Trinity she wouldn’t be able to move without waking him. He’d lean over, pick Finn up and carry him to bed.

  Trinity removed her sunglasses and glanced at Finn. “Poor little mite, he’s tuckered out.”

  “He is. He goes non-stop all day and then still can’t sleep.”

  “I know.” Concern threaded Trinity’s low tone. “When I’d check on him while you were away he’d be awake more often than he was asleep. Let’s hope he has a good sleep now.” She pressed herself back into the seat to allow Zane room to reach for Finn.

  Zane hesitated. It was going to prove tricky to remove Finn without touching Trinity. He couldn’t afford a repeat reaction of this morning. He was a confirmed bachelor not a testosterone-fuelled cowboy with one thing on his mind.

  He bent and leaned into the truck cabin. He was so near Trinity he could see the faint trail of freckles over the smooth skin of her nose. So near he could see the dark length of her lashes. And so near he could see the soft curve of her bottom lip.

  He leaned further into the cabin and caught the scent of flowers. He reached for Finn, the action causing his arm to brush against the fullness of Trinity’s curves beneath her dress.

  “Sorry,” he muttered, at her quick intake of breath. “This will only take a minute.”

  But in the confined space it proved impossible to easily get his arms around Finn. Zane set his jaw and ignored the press of Trinity’s body against him until he finally had a secure hold. Trinity’s hand touched his as she helped lift Finn over her lap and out of the pickup.

  By the time he climbed the front steps, Trinity had left the pickup and held the door open. Her eyes didn’t meet his.

  After he tucked a still sleeping Finn into his bed, he came downstairs to find Trinity had unloaded the sacks and books from the pickup. They sat on the bench in a neat and ordered row.

  “Coffee?” she asked, again not looking at him as she headed toward the coffeepot.

  He should say no. He needed to check on Comet and to find out what type of day Hank had had. A new ranch hand was proving as
hard to handle as Diablo. He should also see how Cookie got on minding Milly. But Finn was asleep and time alone with Trinity wouldn’t happen often.

  “That would be great.” He stared at the piles of books from Lesley’s bookstore. “Actually, before we have a coffee there’s some place I should take you.”

  Hand on the coffeepot, Trinity glanced at him, expression more cautious than curious.

  “Does it involve Diablo? He might look all golden and sweet but when I gave him a carrot I swear he would have bitten my hand off if I hadn’t warned him to mind his manners.”

  Zane grinned and stood. It wasn’t only reclusive ranchers Trinity had no trouble putting in their place. Hank had witnessed Trinity’s dressing-down of Diablo and had said afterward he’d never seen the stallion so meek. He’d even lowered his head and allowed Trinity to rub his neck.

  “No. This has nothing to do with the ranch or with bad-tempered Diablo.”

  Zane collected his pile of books and led the way to a far section of the rambling ranch house. He opened a door and stepped away.

  She arched a fine brow. ‘Is this the famous men’s-only games room I’ve heard so much about?”

  He shook his head.

  She entered the room. Her gasp pushed aside all doubts he was doing the wrong thing sharing his favorite part of the ranch house with her. He walked through the doorway. From the floor to the thick and exposed roof beams, the room was filled with books.

  “This is … unbelievable.” Trinity turned a full circle, wonder widening her eyes.

  She stepped forward to touch the spine of a book and tilted her head to read the nearby titles. “This isn’t a book collection, this is a library. You’ve books on raising chickens, gardening, quilting –”

  Her hand lowered to her side as she faced him. “Zane, this hasn’t always been your personal collection, has it?”

  He crossed his arms. “No.”

  Instead of lifting a brow to encourage him to talk, this time she waited patiently.

  After a long moment, he continued. “This was my … mother’s room.”

  Trinity nodded and glanced at the section where a cluster of parenting books sat. He should have culled the collection years ago but something stopped him from dismantling the only tangible thing that linked him to the mother he never knew.

  “No wonder Lesley remembers your mother coming into Paradise Books. Not only was she an avid reader, there’s plenty of women’s fiction here, she also read for research.”

  “I guess she did. From what Lesley said, my mom wasn’t only a customer but also a friend. My father,” Zane paused to find the right words, “was a … difficult man. I suppose reading was my mother’s … escape.”

  “I can understand that. My own father isn’t exactly laid back.” Trinity’s eyes searched his. “I don’t mean to pry but Rhett said your mother left when you and your brother were young? Did she ever not want any of her books?”

  Zane shrugged. “Not her books or her sons.” His mother’s desertion might be a lifetime ago but still the hurt of an abandoned child seeped into his words.

  “I’m so sorry.” Trinity again looked at the parenting section. “Maybe she left the books for you and your brother to enjoy?’

  “Not likely. I didn’t know this room existed until after my father died. This part of the house was off-limits. Our father ordered us not to go here and Russ and I knew better than to disobey.”

  He pushed aside the darkness of his memories, unfolded his arms and changed the subject.

  “I wanted to show you the library so you know it’s here. Feel free to help yourself. Finn likes sitting in the big chair near the window and reading so he’d be happy if you wanted to read too.”

  She smiled as if trying to lighten the strain that had crept into the room. “I’m going to need two summers to get through even one wall of books.”

  The idea of having Trinity here for longer than a summer caused an unnamed emotion to hold him silent.

  “I promise,” she continued, “to be careful. I’ll always use a bookmark and won’t bend the page corners.”

  He cleared his throat. “It’s fine. I trust you.”

  He stiffened. Not only had he again said too much. He’d used the ‘t word.’ His days of trusting, especially a woman, were over.

  Sorrow edged his bitterness. Trust had rendered him vulnerable as a child. Trust had robbed him of Finn’s early years. Trust had blinded him to Marlisa’s true agenda. But still somehow the beautiful and generous woman before him had slipped through the reserve he encased himself in. Tension lassoed his chest and pulled tight.

  Now he had to find a way to repair the breech before all his defenses gave way.

  Chapter Six

  ‡

  Trinity closed the book she’d finished and looked over to where Finn was playing in the sandbox. Next to him, Milly was digging a tunnel. Whenever her little paws flicked sand his way he giggled. The day’s heat might have set in but beneath the spreading canopy of the cottonwood tree they stayed cool.

  Trinity adjusted the cushion behind her back and reached for the second book resting on the bench seat beside her. She tucked her bare feet beneath her. Movement caught her eye and she watched as a mountain bluebird landed on the top rail of the jackleg fence. For all of his vivid blue wings his underbelly appeared as grey as Zane’s eyes. She tracked the summer bird’s flight as he flew skyward but her thoughts remained on Zane.

  Not that she’d seen Zane’s grey eyes much in the past two days. He’d eaten the majority of his meals in the bunkhouse, but would come and sit with Finn while he ate at night. Although he swapped small talk with her across the kitchen table he’d returned to being the reticent cowboy she’d first met. But now she could understand why. He hadn’t grown up in a household full of affection and conversation.

  She frowned and stared at the cloudless sky even though the bluebird was long gone. Something didn’t feel right. Zane’s mother may have walked out on her family and Zane may believe she didn’t want him or his brother but her parenting books painted another picture. His mother had been invested in being a good mom. She’d loved her boys enough to want to do the best for them. She’d also tried to share a lifelong love of reading.

  A hot breeze blew strands of hair into Trinity’s eyes. She brushed them away and opened her new book.

  Even if she did look through the kitchen window for Zane whenever a horse or a pickup passed, it was for the best he kept his distance. Between discovering how gorgeous he was beneath all that hair and then their up-close-and-personal encounter in the pickup, she needed to patch her composure. By not being around him, she had both time and space to rebuild her self-control. She was at Hollyhock Creek to help Finn and to while away the summer, not to make a fool of herself over an untrusting man whose stubbornness matched her own.

  Her thoughts refused to focus on the words of the book open on her lap. Zane had smelled so good when he’d leant in close to reach for Finn. She wasn’t sure what his exact scent had been, perhaps a blend of leather and wood? His lashes had been thick and dark, his stubble begging for her to run her fingers over his firm jaw. She’d felt the corded strength of his arms as he’d brushed against her and lifted Finn over her lap.

  Despite the heat, she shivered. If accidental physical contact with Zane could trigger a chain reaction in her senses how would it feel to have his strong arms around her, holding her like he’d never let her go.

  She jumped as boots sounded on the gravel to her right. Broad shoulders briefly blocked the sun before Zane stood beside her.

  “Mind if I join you?”

  “Not at all.” She hoped he’d put the sudden flush in her cheeks down to the sun’s warmth. She untucked her legs and made room for him on the bench seat.

  “Good book?”

  She nodded, feeling strangely tongue-tied. Instead of his usual ripped shirt, he’d teamed the turquoise and black shirt from Marietta Western Wear with new Wranglers. His jaw was
also clean-shaven and the breeze carried the now familiar scent of leather and wood.

  “Nice shirt,” she said, when she was certain her voice wouldn’t emerge breathless.

  The corner of his mouth curved. “Well, it was this or the pink shirt and Cordell would have a field day if I wore that color.”

  She grinned. “Cowboys can wear pink, you know.”

  His gaze dropped to her mouth and flicked back to her eyes before he answered. “Tell that to Cordell.”

  “So you’re going to see him?”

  “Yep.” He rubbed at his chin. “I was hoping you and Finn would come too.”

  She hesitated. Spending time with Zane wasn’t what she needed but it was what Finn needed. “It depends on when you’re leaving. We’re dropping Milly to Ivy this morning as she and Rhett are home from New York. We’ll be free after then.”

  They both looked over to where Milly continued to dig beside Finn. Trinity couldn’t hear his words but she could see his mouth move as he chatted to the Jack Russell.

  “He’s really going to miss her,” she said, tone subdued.

  “I know. That’s why I’d like you to come to Beargrass Hills Ranch. We’ve working ranch dogs here but Finn really needs a … pet.”

  “You’re going to get him one of the puppies?” Trinity couldn’t quash her delight as she faced him.

  “Yes.”

  A puppy to play with and to love was exactly what Finn needed. For a split second she considered leaning over and kissing Zane’s tanned cheek.

  As if privy to her thoughts, he quickly came to his feet. “We can drop Milly off at Ivy’s on the way.”

  It must just be her imagination, but his voice sounded hoarse.

  *

  As Trinity stood in Payton’s barn filled with the sweet smell of straw and the sound of Zane’s rare laughter, unease eclipsed her happiness. She should have let Finn and Zane make the trip alone. They’d only been at Beargrass Hills Ranch for five minutes and already her self-control hung in tatters.

  Zane was crouched on the barn floor, his arm around Finn’s waist as he leaned against him. Finn’s eyes were a bright blue and his cheeks looked as though they’d soon ache his smile was so broad. Five fluffy black and white Australian Shepherd puppies surrounded them. A large male pup sat on his haunches and yipped. A timid female ran behind Cordell’s cowboy boots, while the remaining three either jumped over Zane’s knees or tugged at the tops of Finn’s leather boots.