The Zee Brothers: Halloween Holocaust: Zombie Exterminators Vol.3

by Grivante

Behind her, the door shook and the dresser rocked.

  “We don’t have time to argue about this!” Jonah barked as he stood back up. “Judas, bust that—” he stopped, eye’s catching the bloody handprint on the mirrored closet door. “Wait a minute.” He walked over and slid the door open.

  Jackets and shirts hung from hangers, a pile of dirty clothes covered the left side of the floor and the right was strangely clear. Jonah holstered Brutus and fell to his knees, running his fingers across the carpet.

  “What is it, Jonah?” Judas called out from behind him.

  Jonah didn’t answer, concentrating on his search. Finally, he felt what he hoped might be there, a raised edge. He dug his fingers under it and lifted, revealing a two-by-two opening in the floor. A moment later, a man’s head popped out, causing Jonah to shout and fall back.

  “Hi, guys! I’m sure glad to see you.”

  “Burt!” Jonah and Judas shouted in unison.

  Part VIII - Crawlspace Reunion

  “Is it safe?” Burt asked, his pale dirty face peering out from the opening.

  A thud against the door followed by groans from the dead answered his question. He shrank back into the hole.

  “I figured you guys would’ve dealt with him by now.”

  “Him?” Jonah's eyes narrowed.

  “Yeah, my neighbor.”

  “Oh, we did, but we thought he had gotten you.”

  “No. I ran in here and hid. Crawlspaces are my specialty.”

  Jonah chuckled. “I’m not certain I’d say that, but I hear what you mean.”

  The door thudded again, the dresser rocking, a splintering sound filling the air.

  “Uhh, Jonah?” Judas looked at his brother and then the door.

  “If you exterminated Bob, why are there so many out there now?” Burt asked.

  “I wish I knew,” Jonah answered. “Look is there a way outta here? I’m not confident we can hold them off if they get through that door.”

  Burt nodded. “Yeah, there’s an outside access to the crawlspace in the back. We can get out that way.”

  “Ok, perfect. Let’s move. Judas, JJ, down the hatch!”

  “Move over, Burt,” Judas said, walking up and plopping his legs into the hole.

  Jonah watched the door then reached to JJ, offering his three-fingered hand to help her in. “Ok, you’re next.”

  She took it, squeezing gently and smiling. “Thank you, Sir, but you’re gonna miss the view.”

  “What?” Jonah’s brow scrunched.

  JJ took her hand back and used it to grab the rear of her skirt, flipping it up and flashing him a glimpse of her red panties.

  Jonah laughed and grinned. “You’re something else.”

  “Something good I hope?”

  Jonah’s grin widened. “I’d call you trouble, but I’m positive you’d take it as a compliment.”

  “Oh, sugar,” JJ beamed. “I’m the best kinda trouble, the kind everyone wants!”

  “That, I can’t argue with.” Jonah pulled out Brutus and aimed it at the entry, which thundered from the violent impacts of the dead. “All the same, you first. I’m watching all our backsides for now. These things want us as their Halloween treat!”

  JJ jumped in and stood there looking at Jonah. “You’ve got mine whenever you want it.” Her words distracted him from his vigilance of the door and she flashed him a mischievous grin, then her nostrils flared as she caught sight of her dog on Burt’s bed.

  “Xanadu!”

  Jonah turned to find the dog on the bed with the large pair of panties hanging from his mouth.

  “You perverted puppy!” JJ scolded, shaking her head. “He does that at home too,. Whenever it’s laundry time I have to go hunting in his kennel.”

  Xanadu slinked off the bed, dropping the underwear before trotting over to the hatch.

  Down below, Burt stared with wide eyes at JJ’s lower half. The back of her skirt had caught in the small opening, leaving her panty-covered butt exposed. “Who is she?”

  Judas turned from shining his flashlight around and found Burt staring at JJ's butt. He scowled and snapped. “That’s JJ, and she’s taken!”

  “Oh,” Burt said, not moving his eyes. “By who?”

  “By us,” Judas blurted, not sure what else to say.

  This distracted Burt from his view, just as JJ squatted, Xanadu in her arms. “Who’s us?”

  No one could see in the dark, but Judas’s cheeks burned crimson. “Me and Jonah,” he muttered.

  Burt’s eyes grew even wider. “How’s that work?”

  JJ sat Xanadu on the plastic ground cover, told him to behave and saved Judas from having to answer. “You two enjoying yourselves?” She grinned wickedly. “This skirt will make me more friends than I know what to do with.” She glanced at Burt, who blushed as red as Judas in the darkness. “I’m JJ, by the way.”

  “Hi. I’m Burt,” he announced, before erupting into a flurry of coughs that made JJ scrunch her face in concern.

  “Are you okay?”

  She moved to the side as Jonah hopped into the crawlspace, closed the closet door and slid the carpeted hatch back into place.

  Burt spat to his right and shook his head. “No.”

  A loud crash jolted the floor above them as the zombies burst into Burt’s bedroom, knocking the dresser over.

  “Where’s the outside access?” Jonah asked. “We need to keep moving.”

  “But we’re safe down here,” Burt said.

  Jonah clicked his flashlight on and shined it in Burt’s face. “You might be, but we have a job to do.”

  The dead poured into the room, eyes glowing bright green and seeking prey, mouths gnashing at the air in hunger. They stumbled around, almost seeming confused, finding the space empty.

  One, a middle-aged man with a bloody gash on his neck and a broken arm, spun around surveying the room. He stumbled to the mirrored door, smacking his good hand against it and pushing until it slid open to show the cluttered but empty closet.

  A growl escaped his lips, then the light in his eyes faded, returning to a cloudy white. He shuffled on his feet, bumping into the other freshly turned zombies milling about the room.

  In the van on the street, the disfigured woman growled. “Where’d they go?”

  The man in the front passenger seat turned from his tablet screen displaying a green and white aerial view above Burt’s home.

  “They haven’t left ma’am.” He held up the night vision display for her to study.

  The woman gnashed her teeth together as she thought.

  “Javier, go check inside.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” the driver spoke, “but what about the dead ones in there?”

  “Don’t worry about them,” she said, her eyes turning a fluorescent green.

  In the crawlspace, Jonah’s light illuminated Burt’s pale face. “What’s happened here?”

  “I don’t know, man.” Burt blinked and looked to the side. “It’s crazy. This woman dressed like a slutty Disney princess was going door to door. She had two men with her, I guessed they were some kinda missionaries or something. Using Halloween to get people to open their doors and talk to them.”

  Burt coughed again, interrupting the story. He fished around in his pockets and pulled out a Mighty Menthol cough drop and put it in his mouth, breathing in a sigh of relief.

  “When they came to mine, I listened to them talking on the porch. It was obvious they weren’t up to any good, so I didn’t answer it. They tried to get in, then moved on to my neighbor's house. I saw the woman attack them, it was like something on one of those TV shows. She was eating them. A few minutes later they were up and walking around… well, stumbling around. Blood all over them.”

  “This woman,” Jonah asked, “what did she look like?”

  Burt scrunched his shoulders and held out his hands. “Long dark hair, a great body, but her face was all kinds of messed up. Maybe it was part of a costume, the make-up appeared professionally don
e. She looked Hawaiian or something too, had an olive complexion.” He coughed repeatedly, holding his fist to his lips.

  Jonah glanced at Judas, who was biting his lip, both of their foreheads wrinkled as they met each other's eyes. JJ studied them, her mouth opening in question, when Burt wheezed, struggling for breath.

  JJ moved closer to him, putting a hand on his shoulder and rubbing it. “Are you okay? Were you bit?”

  Burt sighed. “No and no. I… I have cancer.”

  “Oh.” JJ’s face softened. “I’m sorry. We saw the prescription bottles upstairs. What’s the prognosis?”

  “Not great.” He shrugged at her and looked at Judas. “You’ll never believe what got me.”

  “What’s that?” Judas asked.

  Burt held the cough drop between his teeth. “Mighty Menthols. Evidently, you're not supposed to eat them like candy. There're compounds in them that build up in your system, clog your liver, kidneys, something, who knows? And then wham! The big C.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that, man,” Jonah spoke in a soft, direct voice.

  “Yeah, me too,” Judas said.

  “All those years working with toxic poisons and that’s what did it. Ironic, huh?”

  “Yeah,” Jonah agreed.

  JJ blinked rapidly at Jonah, before peering back at Burt, her face souring. “Why are you still eating them, then?”

  Burt’s shoulders slumped. “Docs said it wouldn’t change anything at this point and I enjoy the damn things.”

  JJ shook her head, lips tight. They sat in silence a moment, listening to the sound of shuffling feet on the carpet above them.

  “Where’s that access?” Jonah asked. “It’s time we get out of here.”

  Part IX - A Man Amongst the Dead

  Jonah emerged into the backyard first, Judas close on his heels. They came out on the left side of the house, out of sight from Burt’s backdoor.

  “Help them out of the crawl space,” Jonah told his brother as he made his way to the corner to scope things out. The yard stood empty, filled only by shadows dancing from the lights in Burt's living room. A four-foot-high chain-link fence stretched along the rear of the property, opening into an enormous meadow enclosed by neighboring homes. A few houses were lit up like Christmas trees, music blasting and people talking or laughing. Others were dark and dormant.

  Jonah returned to where everyone waited.

  “It looks like they're all inside. We can come in from behind and exterminate them before they know we’re there.”

  “Won’t that make a mess in my house?” Burt asked.

  Jonah stared at him. “Yeah, Burt, it will. Can’t be helped.”

  Burt’s face scrunched in a sour expression. “I don’t wanna have to call Bob.”

  Jonah shrugged at him.

  “What’s your problem with Bob?” Judas peered at him.

  “It’s not my problem with him, it’s his problem with me.”

  “What do you mean?” Judas stood and checked his weapons.

  “He got fired after working with me one day.”

  Judas chuckled. “Well, that sounds familiar.”

  Burt looked at the ground, dropping his chin to his chest.

  “Wait, who’s Bob?” JJ asked.

  “Biohazard Bob,” Judas answered. “He owns those big green trucks that look like turtles. Does environmental clean-up, that kind of thing. That's who they call to take care of the mess after a large outbreak or a toxic spill. He'll dispose of the bodies and clean the contaminants out of homes. We worked with him at Pests B’ Gone.”

  “Oh.”

  “We can swap stories later,” Jonah said. “We need to keep moving, get this done, and get outta here. I don’t want to be out any longer than we have to be tonight.” He pulled Brutus out, checked the rounds and studied Judas. “You ready?”

  “Yeah, bro.” Judas reached up placing a hand on the butt of the shotgun holstered in a sling across his back and gave it a tug, then hefted his knife in his other hand and smiled. “I’m ready.”

  “What about us?” JJ asked.

  “Stay behind us. Keep your eyes open once the shooting starts. It may draw others. Oh, and keep Xanadu handy in case we need some help.”

  “And me?” Burt asked.

  “Be quiet and stay out of the way. We’ll try to keep the chaos to a minimum.”

  Jonah and Judas crouched at opposite sides of the broken glass door, both with their long knives at the ready. Jonah nodded toward the dead stumbling around in the house and whispered, “Let’s take out as many as we can quietly, before busting out the artillery.”

  Judas nodded and glanced inside, “I’m gre—” His face scrunched up and he turned to Jonah. “The front door is open. I thought we closed it?”

  “Hmm.” Jonah looked to the door. “We did… we’ll have to check out front when this is done to make sure none wandered off.” He signaled with a nod for Judas to enter.

  Judas took the cue, navigating around the broken shards of glass, at one point standing on his tiptoes in his steel-toed boots to avoid stepping on any of it. Jonah followed, equally conscious of where he stepped. It wouldn’t matter for long, but for now, the element of surprise was crucial to getting the job done.

  Most of the zombies were bunched up in the hallway or in the bedroom where they couldn't see them. Three stood in the living room, staring at the wall. Judas nodded his head at the two nearest him, held up two fingers and then gave him a thumbs up. Jonah nodded and indicated with his blade that he would take care of the third. They stepped forward and—

  “Koff-Koff!”

  From behind them, a series of hacking coughs wracked Burt’s body, he doubled over slipping down to one knee in submission. The brothers glanced back, saw their old co-worker clutching at his chest, JJ beside him, helping to hold him steady as the groans of the dead filled the room. They spun to see the three deaders twisting around, shapes and shadows shifting in the hallway as the noise alerted the others.

  “Shit.” Judas shook his head. “Just once can’t things go the way they're supposed to?”

  “Not today,” Jonah scowled and moved to meet his target. “Let’s keep this quiet and—”

  BLAM!

  A gunshot boomed in the small house, causing the brothers to stop short. Jonah glanced to his right where a bullet hole showed in the wall mere inches from his head, then back to where the zombies now poured from the hall. His mouth fell open.

  Standing amidst the green-eyed dead was a man in a black suit, one hand held to his mouth talking into his sleeve, his other holding a gun and moving it to aim at Jonah.

  Jonah dove backward, grabbing the zombie nearest him and shoving him toward those in the hall. Judas yanked his knife free from a zombie’s head and ducked.

  “Run!” Jonah shouted, scrambling out of the way as another shot shook the room, this time grazing Jonah’s right shoulder. He spun, crushing the glass on the floor beneath his boot and grabbing at Judas, pulling him away as the corpses surged toward them. They darted through the broken slider and into the backyard.

  The dead screamed out a collective roar and rushed in pursuit. Jonah ran to where JJ stood with Burt. “C’mon, let’s go.”

  “What? Where?” JJ asked.

  “Through the back gate and into the park.” Jonah pushed her toward the exit while he yanked Burt to his feet by his right arm.

  Judas joined them, grabbing Burt's other side. “C’mon!”

  JJ opened the gate first letting Xanadu into the park. The zombies poured into the yard from the house. “Jonah, what’s going on? Did one of them have a gun?”

  Jonah pulled Burt through the gate, turned and closed it, then pointed at Burt’s back door. “No. He does!”

  JJ looked up and saw the man in the suit standing on the small porch as zombies streamed past him, paying him no attention whatsoever, his gun rising.

  Jonah and Judas both stared at the man, watching while the dead completely ignored him. Jonah turned to
Judas, “What the hell?”

  Then they heard JJ shouting Xanadu’s name.

  “Xanadoooo!”

  Followed a moment later by disco music. The world slowed and the zombies halted in their tracks. The brothers grabbed Burt under the arms, lifted him off the ground and ran. Gunshots wooshed through the air in slow motion.

  JJ caught Xanadu in her arms and took off after the brothers and Burt.

  “Where do we go?” Judas panted.

  Jonah glanced back, the dead piled against the fence, unable to get past it, their green eyes staring straight at him. He didn't see any sign of the man with the gun. Who the hell was that? He bit on his lip, turning to scan their escape route.

  At the far end of the park, he could make out the large yellow shapes of construction vehicles and a playground full of unassembled swings and slides. They rushed along the innermost row of houses and slowed four or five down from Burt’s as they neared what looked and sounded like a backyard party in progress. Several men with beers stood at the fence watching the brothers approach, attracted by the gunshots.

  “What the hell’s all that shooting about out here? Is that you?” a tall, thick man wearing a horned Viking helmet asked, eyeing the brother’s weapons. A heavyset woman, half his height, wearing an oversized ugly-Christmas sweater and a grey wig stood next to him.

  “No,” Jonah panted, struggling to draw a deep breath and glancing back again. The zombies stared at them but remained in Burt's backyard.

  “Nice costume,” a large man dressed as fat Elvis in a stormtrooper outfit said, checking JJ out and staring at her chest.

  She ignored him and grabbed Judas’s shotgun from the holster he had strung across his back. She flipped it open, confirmed there were shells in the chamber and clicked it shut. Her eyes and the barrel swung up to stare in the direction of the dead. Xanadu, on the other hand, crouched at her feet, growling in the direction of the Fat Elvis Stormtrooper. “Not now, boy. He’s not worth it.”

  A Hispanic woman stumbled forward, a cigarette dangling from her lips, balancing a half-spilled beer in her right hand. She wore an over-sized Princess Leia bun style wig and a blue and orange men’s tracksuit, possibly the fat Elvis trooper’s date. “What’s happening? Do they have the party favors?” She raised her eyebrows trying to open her half-closed lids and took in the group. “Are you coming to our party? You should totally come to our…” she saw the shotgun in JJ’s hands, wobbled backward and fell to the dry grass. “Hey,” she tugged on the pant leg of a man next to her. “Why does that cheerleader have a shotgun? Is she supposed to be Buffy?”