Counting the Days (Counting the Billions, #1)

by Timms, Lexy

  He cupped my cheek in his warm palm, running his thumb along my jawline, and then he was kissing me again. This kiss was gentler, more sensual, his lips moving against mine, slowly drawing my mouth open so that his tongue could slip inside. There was heat to it, despite the tenderness of his touch, heat that made my skin feel as though it were on fire. I shivered and pressed closer to him. In the process of moving my feet, I stubbed my toe against one wheel of his office chair, tripping and falling heavily against him with a muttered curse.

  Daniel caught me easily, but just like that, the moment was gone. We broke apart, both shocked and surprised. I couldn’t meet his eyes. I knew that I was the one who had started this. If I had just stayed on the other side of the office, let him keep that space between us, this never would have gone as far as it had.

  He was my boss. Not only that, but we worked together every day. I wasn’t going to be able to forget that kiss we had just shared, but at the same time, I knew it could never happen again. It had been a mistake in the first place.

  I took a hasty step back, but it was Daniel who apologized first. “I’m sorry for that,” he said, and when I chanced a glance up at his face, I saw that he was carefully avoiding eye contact with me.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I know that we can’t...do that.”

  Daniel shook his head sharply. “I’m the one who overstepped,” he insisted. “I’m the one who kissed you.”

  “I started it,” I protested. “I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”

  But rather than making things better, our repeated apologies only seemed to make both of us feel even more awkward. We still couldn’t bear to look each other in the eyes. Suddenly, there didn’t seem to be enough air there in his office. I felt like I was suffocating and knew that I needed to get out of there.

  But we had meetings all day. Meetings I would have to attend with Daniel. Where I would have to sit right next to him and pretend that nothing was wrong. Pretend that nothing had happened. What would the rest of the guys in those meetings think if they knew? It would be the end of my business career, I was sure. The end of any chance I might ever have had to one day become a CEO.

  I didn’t know how much longer I could keep working here at McGregor Enterprises. Would Daniel fire me? Would he expect me to resign? I wouldn’t be able to sue him, if so, not without letting everyone else in the business world know just what it was I had done. But that would be professional suicide.

  “Let’s pretend that never happened,” Daniel said, though, clearly reading my panic.

  I nodded quickly. “Pretend it never happened,” I echoed. But the air in there still felt tight, and I knew I was going to need at least a little time off so that I could compose myself. “You know, I’m not feeling so good,” I lied. “Maybe I should head home for the day. I’m sure you can handle the meetings on your own, can’t you?”

  I hated to blow off work over such a stupid personal issue, but I didn’t think I could sit there any longer in Daniel’s office, going over whatever documents he wanted to show me before our first meeting of the day. And not only that, but I definitely needed time to cool off, time for that sexual tension to dissipate a little, before I could sit beside him in a meeting.

  Daniel looked stricken that I would ask such a thing, though, and for a moment, I was tempted to try to take it back. But what could I do? Tell him that I had just been joking? Somehow, I didn’t think that he was going to buy that. And besides, I really didn’t know if I could stay there, not like this. Not when I couldn’t stop thinking about my body pressed against his, our lips meeting like that.

  I took another step back, even though Daniel hadn’t moved. If I wasn’t mistaken, there was the bitter twist of a smile on his face before he turned away from me, shuffling the papers on his desk once more. “Go ahead,” he told me brusquely. “Take the day off. Whatever you need.”

  “You’re not mad, are you?” I asked. I wasn’t sure what made me say it. He couldn’t very well get mad at me for the kiss, could he? It took two people to kiss, and he had been just as involved as I had been. In fact, if I really wanted to place blame, he was more responsible than I was, since he was the one who had stepped closer first, and he was the one who had touched me first.

  But I had wanted it, I reminded myself. There was no blame there.

  Daniel’s face twisted even more, as though I had really hurt him. He gave a sharp shake of his head. “No, I’m not mad,” he said, and I could tell how much control it was taking him to keep his tone even.

  I swallowed hard, wondering if this was how I was going to get fired. But Daniel seemed okay with letting me leave for now. Maybe we both needed to collect ourselves.

  I wanted to say something else, maybe to try to joke with him, but I couldn’t think of a single word to say. Instead, I finally headed for the door, hurrying out of there. I was so caught up in my thoughts, so focused on what had just happened, as well as on getting out of there, that I bumped into the doorway and almost fell over in my rush to correct my balance. But I made it out.

  I rushed past the other desks in the office, and I could feel Erin’s eyes on me, no doubt wondering about my hasty departure. But fortunately, she didn’t say anything.

  When I got down to the street level, I realized I was shaking, and I couldn’t tell if it was adrenaline, worry, or something deeper, something more lustful and dirty. I swallowed hard, pressing my palms against my flaming cheeks. Slowly, I pulled out my phone, immediately calling Leanne.

  “What’s wrong?” my best friend asked immediately.

  “How did you know something was wrong?” I asked, momentarily distracted from my plight.

  “You’re calling me in the middle of your workday,” Leanne pointed out. “I assume that means that something’s wrong.”

  I sighed and stared sightlessly down the street, knowing that I should hail a cab to go somewhere, anywhere but here. But all I could think about was when Daniel and I had gone for that drink, after my first day of work, and he had hailed a cab for me afterward.

  I had been so sure that he was a nice guy, that he was different from what all the tabloids said. But he couldn’t possibly have feelings for me, he couldn’t possibly be interested in me as more than just a one-night stand, and that meant that kiss back there in the office was just a regular thing for him. Another manifestation of his usual pattern.

  “Abby?” Leanne prompted.

  “I kissed Daniel,” I blurted out. “And now I’m standing out on the sidewalk because I just, I can’t be in there. Even if it means that he fires me now.”

  “Oh honey.” Leanne sighed. “Why don’t you come over? Sounds like we have some talking to do.”

  “Okay,” I said, trying to pretend that my voice didn’t sound small and fragile, like a child’s. But I knew Leanne wasn’t buying it. She knew me better than I knew myself, I sometimes swore. And suddenly, I realized that she and Matt had been exactly right in cautioning me against getting involved with Daniel.

  Without even realizing it, I had let myself believe that there could be something more between the two of us. Like if I just kissed him, then maybe things would work out.

  I finally hailed a cab, directing the driver to Leanne’s place. I hated that I felt so close to tears, even though I knew Leanne was hardly the type of person to say, ‘I told you so’.

  Chapter 15

  Daniel

  AS ABBY HURRIED OUT of my office, I closed my eyes, leaning heavily against my desk. Fuck. I didn’t know what had come over me. Except that I did. There was just something about her. It wasn’t just the long hair and the gorgeous body, though. It was more to do with her personality, her intelligence, her work ethic, everything that really made Abby, well, Abby.

  I hadn’t realized just how interested in her I was until I had reached out and lightly touched the back of her hand. And even then, I had been sure that it was just physical attraction, that if I could get far enough away from her, to the other side of the office,
then maybe I could forget about it.

  I should have known that it wouldn’t work that way. But I had never banked on her being interested in me as well.

  She had really done such a good job of hiding her own feelings. But it was like all of a sudden, they had swelled in an intense crescendo of desire, until we were like two magnets that didn’t have a hope in the world of keeping away from each other.

  I couldn’t blame it all on her, though. She might have been the one to come toward me, at first. She might have been the one staring so boldly at my lips. But I would never have been able to stop myself from reaching for her, to stop myself from bending down and kissing those soft, pink lips of hers.

  What would happen next? Well, Abby had made it pretty damn clear she didn’t really want to do this. Maybe it wasn’t that she wasn’t interested. No, I had been able to see want clear in her eyes. I’d been able to feel it in the way she had trembled against me, pressing her body closer to mine. But I couldn’t blame her for not wanting to get involved with her boss.

  I remembered what she had said right before she ran out of there. She had asked if I was mad at her. Of course I wasn’t mad at her. No, far from it. Because how could I possibly be mad at her for doing the same thing I had wanted to do for so long? Since she had first come into my office, maybe.

  But she thought that I might fire her. She thought, in spite of the fact that she had told me she didn’t read those stupid tabloid articles, that I might fire her over something like this. She thought that I was utterly lacking in integrity.

  That hurt, I had to admit. Then again, though, I should never have kissed her. Or let her kiss me. Whatever had happened in here.

  “Everything okay?”

  I started, staring guiltily at the doorway where Erin stood, her arms folded across her chest as she raised an eyebrow at me. I swore inwardly. Of course other people would have noticed the way that Abby had darted out of there. She hadn’t exactly been subtle about it; she had almost fallen over when she had knocked into the doorframe hard, her shoulder catching on the smooth wood.

  It had been almost adorable at the time, watching how flustered she was. If only I were allowed to tell her how cute I really thought she was. But now, I was worried about what everyone else in the office must be thinking. They knew my reputation just as well as Abby did. As well as anyone did. What did they suspect?

  I swallowed, remembering what Erin had said before, about her parents warning her away from working for me. What was I supposed to tell her? That her parents’ fears were legitimate? Not that I wanted to kiss Erin or anything. But Abby? If she were back there in my office, if she were still pressed up against me? I wasn’t sure that I would be able to hold back again. I might even press for more than just a kiss.

  It was wrong, it was all so wrong. A woman like Abby, you didn’t meet women like that all the time. No, she was special. And she knew that she was special; that was part of the charm to her. I should have asked her out on a date before I ever tried anything with her. I shouldn’t have let the attraction I felt for her screw everything up between the two of us.

  Except that, shit, it wasn’t like I could ask her for a date. She was my employee. What the hell was wrong with me?

  “I kissed Abby,” I suddenly blurted out to Erin, feeling guilt well up inside of me. These women trusted me. Their families had told them that they probably shouldn’t come to work for me. Abby had stood up to her brother for me. She had insisted that I wasn’t just interested in sleeping with her. She had literally just finished telling me about that.

  I felt a sick feeling bloom inside of me as I wondered what would happen next. From the way that Abby had rushed out of there, I had to wonder whether she was even planning on coming back. Oh, she had asked if I was angry with her. She hadn’t looked like she wanted to quit, more like she was scared that I might fire her.

  And maybe I should. She was my advisor; she was supposed to be there by my side today while I went to the meetings we had scheduled for the day. She was going to get behind on all the accounts that she had spent so much time studying the previous week.

  But I couldn’t blame her for wanting to get out of there. In fact, it was probably best for the both of us that she take the rest of the day off, just so that we could both clear our heads a little. Even though I knew that we could never kiss again, though, even though I knew that we could never be involved with each other, I couldn’t help but selfishly want her back at work. She was damned good at what she did. There was no way I could fire her.

  I didn’t want to lose her, though, and I knew that we were on thin ice already. One more mistake from me and I would lose her for good, I was sure. But it wasn’t just about Abby, I realized suddenly. It was about Erin too, and about the rest of the women in the office. If they found out I had kissed Abby, would they suddenly wonder if I was harboring desires for them as well? Would Erin feel uncomfortable now, thinking that I might try something with her if the thing with Abby didn’t work out?

  I sure hoped not. Not because Erin wasn’t attractive. But I just had never thought about her that way. I had never thought about an employee like this before.

  It was so fucked-up.

  Erin, for her part, just shook her head at me. There was judgment written clearly on her face, but she didn’t seem to know what to say to me.

  I held up both my hands, feeling ashamed with myself. “I know I messed up,” I said. I paused and grimaced. “I guess this is exactly why your parents warned you against working for me, isn’t it?”

  Even I could hear how tortured my voice sounded. I couldn’t stop thinking about how desperately I wanted to call Abby and just make sure that she was okay. I shouldn’t have kissed her like that. I should never have put a hand on her.

  I didn’t know what had really possessed me to do something like that. But then again, it was Abby.

  Erin sighed and shook her head. “Sit down,” she said, dropping into the seat across my desk from me. “You’re being silly.”

  “How am I being silly?” I demanded, folding my arms across my chest. In a stubborn, ornery state, I didn’t sit down. I wasn’t mad at her, but her words just didn’t make any sense.

  I saw the smile that made the corners of her mouth twitch upward for a moment. “I just don’t think you messed up so badly.”

  “I kissed her,” I repeated, as though Erin might not have heard me properly the first time.

  Erin shook her head. “I doubt Abby was complaining,” she said. “I’ve seen the way that she looks at you. She’s into you. It’s clear as day.” She paused. “Actually, I’m surprised that it’s taken the two of you this long to kiss, what with all those late nights that she’s been here keeping you company for.”

  I felt my ears burn, but I tried to stay focused. Even if Abby was interested in me, even if I was reading too much into the way she had run out of there, it wasn’t like we could do anything about it. “I’m her boss,” I reminded my assistant.

  Erin rolled her eyes. “So keep your guys’ personal life separate from business time,” she said simply. “And I don’t know, maybe talk to HR about it? But there’s nothing in my contract that says I can’t sleep with you.” She paused, blushing bright pink. “Not that I ever wanted to—it’s just that my dad pointed that out to me.”

  I snorted, but I was already distracted, thinking about what she had said. Keep our personal life separate from business time? Would Abby be okay with that? In those meetings, I would still have to treat her like everyone else.

  I suddenly realized that I wasn’t so worried about if Abby was okay with that. No, I was wondering whether it was even possible for me to treat her just like anyone else. Not only that, but with the way that she had darted out of there after a kiss, I had to wonder what she was thinking. Maybe I was doing things all wrong with her.

  For all my experience with women, I had never had any experiences with anyone even remotely like Abby. I found myself feeling like I was in uncharted w
aters with her.

  My eyes swung back to Erin’s. She was smiling again, like she found all of this amusing. “Don’t spread this around,” I said gruffly, and she looked affronted.

  “Of course not,” she said.

  I chewed on my lower lip for a moment. “What do I do now?” I asked her. She was a woman herself, and I could tell that she and Abby got along very well already, despite the fact that Abby was still new to her role with the company. Maybe Erin would have some insights for me.

  Erin grinned wickedly at me, though. “I think maybe you should talk to your advisor if you want advice,” she said.

  I had to laugh at that. I shook my head. “I think that would be a conflict of interest,” I told her. “I’m just worried about her. She said she needed the day off so that she could collect herself. Maybe she thinks all of this was a mistake. I am her boss, after all. Maybe she thinks I’m going to fire her or something, just to get my way.”

  Erin shrugged one shoulder. “It’s your company,” she reminded me. “If you wanted to, you could fire her. But I don’t think Abby would have kissed you back if she thought that you were a terrible guy who would fire a woman because you kissed her.” She frowned. “She did kiss you back, didn’t she?”

  I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t keep the fond smile off my face. I never really hung out with the people I worked with, but I had to admit, every time Erin and I chatted, I realized that she must be a lot of fun outside of work too. Quick-witted and humorous. Caring.

  But she had nothing on Abby.

  “Get out of here, I have some things I want to look over before I go into my meetings,” I told Erin now, waving my hands at her. “I’m not giving you more information to gossip around the company.”

  Erin widened her eyes innocently, putting a hand over her chest. “I already told you that I’d keep this quiet,” she reminded me. But she was giggling.

  I shook my head and forced myself to turn my attention to the papers on my desk. That only made my thoughts swing even more sharply back to Abby. It was as though I was already so used to her presence at my side that the lack of it was disconcerting. Why couldn’t I stop thinking about her?