Grand-Prize Cowboy
Page 18
He took both of her hands in his, feeling his own sweaty and clammy. “I don’t want to take a break. I love you, and I want us to get married. Please, marry me.”
Jerking back, she pulled her hands away. “Boone, no! I’m not ready for that. I love you, but I don’t want to be someone’s wife! I can’t handle that right now. And I thought you understood.”
But how was he supposed to understand when she’d failed to tell him that her career meant more to her than he did?
He didn’t hear anything after her rejection. All the sounds in the restaurant, people chatting, glass clinking and silverware clattering, they all faded to black. Maybe if she saw the ring... No. Hell, no. If she didn’t love him enough to marry him without seeing the rock he’d bought her, then he didn’t want her to say yes.
“You’re turning me down.” Heat flushed through his body mixed with a heavy dose of shock.
He’d made plans. Told his parents. This was a disaster.
Sofia’s voice was choked with tears and she tried to reach for his hand. “I didn’t want to turn you down, which is why I told you I couldn’t go away next weekend. Would you rather me say yes when I don’t mean it? I have to be honest with you. I’m always honest.”
“Honest? You lied about having plans with Camilla, didn’t you? As long as we’re being honest, this isn’t what I want, either. You’re halfway in this relationship. You keep taking a step back because you want it both ways. But I need someone who’s willing to come along on a ride with me. For the rest of our lives. If that isn’t you, and I can see now that it isn’t, then I think we’re through here.”
With that he got up, left a hundred-dollar bill for whatever she’d want to order, and left.
He didn’t once look back.
* * *
“Sofia, are you okay?”
Sofia looked up from the table and met the concerned eyes of DJ’s wife, Allaire.
“I’m fine, why do you ask?” Sofia bit on her quivering lower lip as a single tear slid down her cheek.
“Because...you’re crying?” Allaire kindly reached for Sofia’s hands and squeezed them. “Did you and Boone have a fight?”
A doozy of a fight. A humdinger. Why had he asked her here of all places? Then again, it was the setting of their first date! Sofia nearly slapped her forehead. But Boone hadn’t looked prepared, hadn’t even shown her the ring, and the whole proposal seemed sudden. She couldn’t understand why he’d decided to ask her then and there. Right after she’d told him she wanted a tiny break. It didn’t make sense.
Sofia covered her eyes. “Yes, we had a fight. We broke up.”
She couldn’t stop seeing the surprised look on his face, his kind blue eyes narrowed and hurt. No one else probably had or ever would turn down Boone Dalton’s proposal.
Allaire wrapped a comforting arm around Sofia’s shoulders. “I’m sorry, honey. You two always looked so perfect together. The way he looks at you, he’s completely smitten. If you wonder about his commitment to you, I’m sure all you need to do is have a talk. Anyone can see how much he loves you.”
Sofia slid down her chair. Allaire didn’t know how much worse she was making this for Sofia. Boone was everything she’d ever wanted, but he’d come along at the wrong time. And now she’d blown it because she wouldn’t ever be able to have it all. Marriage, career, children. She’d had to make a choice, and she hadn’t chosen him. The man she loved.
Unable to spill her guts here with everyone listening, Sofia couldn’t be completely honest. “Sure, you’re right. We’ll work it out. It’s just a little blip.”
“That’s the spirit.” Allaire patted Sofia’s back.
“In fact, I’m going to go catch him right now.” Sofia stood up, needing Camilla more than she needed to breathe.
She almost couldn’t drive, the emotions overtaking her, threatening to take her under a tidal wave of sadness. This wasn’t what she’d wanted, after all. She’d wanted to keep him. Her lack of interest in marriage didn’t mean she loved him any less. Why couldn’t he see that? And yet someone like Boone, who’d had a hard time finding acceptance in this town, might feel especially rejected.
Like she didn’t believe him good enough to marry. Nothing could be further from the truth, but how could she convince him of that when he’d walked away in a huff? He’d broken up with her and hadn’t even heard what she’d said! She loved him and hadn’t wanted to break things off. She’d just wanted more time.
Camilla didn’t reply to Sofia’s text, which likely meant another busy night at the Library. And what would Camilla have to say to her, anyway? That no one better than Boone would ever come along. That there would never be anyone she loved with as much intensity and heart. Everything Sofia already knew.
Feeling silly and immature, a young woman with her first real heartbreak, Sofia drove to her parents’ home. She wanted her mother now, who would make her flan, the warm custard dessert with caramel syrup. She’d pat her hair like she had as a teenager. Sofia could always count on her mother. Even though Denise Sanchez worked six days a week at the salon, she had a rule to always be home for dinner. All the years Sofia had been growing up, the whole family gathered for dinner every single night of the week, even if the rest of the day was hit-or-miss.
Sofia would never dream of telling her mother, but there had been times when she’d wanted a parent on the school field trip. Or a mother who would volunteer as class mom. But her parents had both always worked, and though now she was proud of their work ethic, as a child she hadn’t understood. Hadn’t understood why her mother couldn’t just quit her job and walk with her to her classroom instead of dropping her off at the school curb every morning with a kiss.
“What’s wrong, mija?” her mother said the moment she opened the front door.
Sofia folded into her mother’s arms and let the tears fall. Somehow, through the magic of motherhood, Sofia wound up on the couch a few seconds later, a warm fuzzy blanket thrown over her legs.
“What’s going on here?” Her father’s voice boomed when he entered the living room, hands on hips.
“Nothing, Aaron. I can handle this. Go find something to fix in the garage.” Denise shooed him away.
“I won’t be far,” he grumbled as he walked away.
Her dear old dad. Always wanting to fix things for Sofia. Wanting only the best for her, as any girl’s father should. The story went in their family lore that when baby Sofia was brought home from the hospital everyone wanted a turn holding her.
But Aaron wouldn’t let anyone else hold her for at least a week, explaining that she was his littlest princess. By the end of the week, they’d all lost interest. Her mother swore that in those first few weeks Sofia had been attached to her father every moment, except for feedings.
But though she’d always thought of herself as Daddy’s girl, Sofia needed her mother tonight. She wanted the flan, the sympathy, and she didn’t want anyone to try to fix this for her. Because she’d been the one to ruin everything, and it was her job to fix this. If anyone could.
Setting down the plate of flan and a glass of milk on the coffee table, her mother sat next to Sofia and smoothed down her hair. “This is a heartbreak, isn’t it?”
“How do you know?”
“Mother’s instinct.”
The instinct had for once become useful as Sofia only had to nod her head. Words weren’t necessary.
“I’m sorry, mi amor. You fell in love for the first time and it didn’t work out. It will next time, you’ll see. Did Boone break up with you?”
“Yes,” Sofia said, taking a sip of milk.
“Well, if he doesn’t see what a treasure you are, then he’s not worth crying over, is he?”
“No, he isn’t!” her father said, walking into the room again.
“Aaron!” her mother yelled. “I said go away. This is girl talk.”
“Fine.” He turned around in a huff.
“Oh, your father. You’re his little princess and he wants to do something.”
Sofia took a bite of flan, the warm custard settling in her tummy. “It was my fault. Boone asked me to marry him and I said no. When I said no, I hurt his feelings, and he just...broke up with me.”
“What?” Her mother’s eyes narrowed, confusion dotting their chocolate brown irises.
“I know you want me to get married, just like Camilla, but I’m not ready. I told him that. That I can’t marry him now. I want a career. I don’t want a husband and babies and all that. I’m sorry, Mami, I know you wanted that. But we’re different.”
“Don’t apologize.”
“I love him, and he knows that. But... I guess I humiliated him.” She covered her face. “I didn’t know how to say no to marriage and still keep him.”
“And what on earth makes you think you can’t have it all? Mija, you’re a modern woman. You can have career and family.”
“Real life makes me realize I can’t have it all. Having it all is a myth. Whenever there are too many things vying for attention, some of them are going to get less than a hundred percent. I’ve already seen it happen with my job and my designs. I can’t give my designs all of my time because I have a day job. That’s probably why it’s taken me so long to get where I am. What’s going to happen when I have a job, a husband and maybe a child on the way? Huh?”
“Well, yes, it’s a juggling act, of course. But some balls are plastic and others are made out of glass. You can’t drop the glass, but the plastic won’t break.”
The analogy made sense to Sofia, but it seemed all of her balls were made out of glass.
“I wanted all those things with him for the first time in my life. I wanted to be married and wake up every day next to the man I love. I wanted his babies. That’s terrifying!”
“Why?”
“Because if he’s already changed me this much, who am I going to be in a few years? Am I even going to recognize myself?”
“You’re too worried about all of these things before they even happen. Besides, love does change you. That’s normal and it’s a good thing, as long as it changes you for the better. These are growing pains. You can’t stay in one place too long or you’ll grow cobwebs.”
“It’s just that I know what he wants, and I can’t give it to him right now.”
“I know you love him, but is he a good man? Someone you can count on? Strong?”
“Yes, he’s all of those things. He’s...perfect.” Another tear slid down her cheek and she wiped it away.
“No one is perfect, and Boone just proved my point. I’m guessing he let his pride get away from him, or he would have taken the time to listen to you. If he loves you, he’ll wait until you’re ready for all of these things. Marriage, children.” She threw Sofia a significant look. “Just like I’m waiting.”
Sofia snorted. “Are you, though?”
“You may not think so, but I am. And I know that Camilla and Jordan aren’t having babies anytime soon. She didn’t have to tell me that. Things are different from when I was young woman in Mexico. Women have choices now, and that’s a good thing. I think it makes for a more confusing life, all those choices, but that’s not for me to say. I’m old school, as you kids say.”
Sofia wondered if these really were growing pains, and if so, why was she so afraid of changing? Change wasn’t always a negative thing. Even if her mind tried to dismiss the fact that she’d fallen in love at first sight, her heart knew the truth. It made sense to resist all the upheaval when it all happened so quickly.
But she wouldn’t be much of a modern woman if she didn’t make room in her life for love.
No matter when it showed up.
Chapter Eighteen
The next morning, Boone woke up on the floor of his cabin when something cold and wet tickled his nose. He jerked, finding Spot sitting beside him expectantly, head cocked as he eyed him. Boone had a headache the size of Texas and a ball of cotton stuck to the roof of his mouth. Or maybe it just seemed that way.
“What am I doing on the floor?” He groaned, straightening.
“Yark!” Spot said in answer, which was not helpful.
Then Boone remembered. He’d been about to make coffee around three in the morning but decided he was too sleepy. Even too tired to walk to the couch, apparently. He’d slid down the wall of the cupboard and had only meant to close his eyes for a minute or two.
He found Thing 1 and Thing 2, one sprawled on the couch, the other on the floor surrounded by pillows. A half-empty bottle of tequila sat on the end table. Pieces of the evening rushed back to him. Too much tequila. An argument over who could bench-press more weight. Then about something having to do with Marvel Studios. Another about...The Blues Brothers? He scratched his jaw. Gratefully, he didn’t remember speaking a word about Sofia. If his brothers had wondered where she was, they didn’t ask.
But Boone would bet that his parents had already told Shep and Dale that Boone had had plans to go away with Sofia next weekend and ask her to marry him. He refused to talk about it with anyone. It was done. Over. He’d have to move on.
The whole experience left him shell-shocked and not ready to fall in love again anytime soon. He couldn’t understand where he’d gotten it all so wrong. Why, if Sofia loved him as she said, she’d turned him down. He’d had the guts to risk it all, and she couldn’t even meet him halfway. His heart ached more than he’d ever imagined possible, and his chest felt like it had been kicked by a Clydesdale.
Boone staggered to the kitchen and inhaled a water bottle, then crunched it in one hand. The cotton in his mouth eased up a little, but not by much. He started the coffee and when it was brewed, he poked Shep.
“Whaaa?” He rolled over and squinted. “Where am I?”
“The twenty-first century. Bronco, Montana. Why did you let me drink tequila?”
“Those are a lot of questions all at once.” He cradled his head.
Boone rolled his eyes. “Right. Here, have some coffee, and get out of my house.”
Next Dale rose from the floor, looking like he’d been through a tsunami. His hair was disheveled, and his chin sported about a month’s worth of beard growth, which wasn’t possible. Hairy guy.
“What happened last night?” he asked.
“Too much tequila is my guess,” Boone replied. “Grab some coffee.”
“Wait. I remember something,” Shep said from the couch. “We found you mucking the stalls. Shoveling manure like it was your worst enemy. Cursing. You sure were in a bad mood. What’s wrong? A fight with Sofia?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Oh, yeah. A fight. You guys had a fight. What about?” Shep said, giving Dale a sideways glance. “I hope it wasn’t about that account we set up. No one should really know about that.”
“Can’t be. They just started interviewing,” Dale said. “It’s too early.”
Boone instantly perked up. “What account? What interview?”
His brothers exchanged a look.
“Don’t kill us.” Dale threw his palms up. “But you made it too easy. All we had to do was photoshop a red rose in your hand.”
“It was Dale’s idea,” Shep said. “He’s vying to be the king of pranks.”
“What did you guys do?” Boone ran a hand down his face in frustration.
Dale pulled his phone out, scrolled and handed it to Boone. “They’re looking for a new Mr. Montana.”
The regional TV show where a bachelor auditioned single women to be his future wife was far from anything Boone would ever consider. There in vivid color was a photo of him, one of the ones from the photo shoot at BH Couture. He wore the tight suit Sofia loved him in and a smile on his face which he vividly recalled had been because he’d been flirtin
g with Sofia off camera. She’d put him at ease that day, as she had on all the others. Made him think that she really cared. Fooled him.
“Wealthy rancher ready to settle down with Mrs. Right” was written atop the photo.
“Take it down.” He handed the phone back to Dale. “Now.”
“You made it through the first round.”
“What do you expect? You advertised that I’m wealthy.”
Unlike Sofia, who’d liked him when she thought he was a poor ranch hand.
“Okay, it was all in good fun. Anyway, we signed you up before we knew how serious you were about Sofia. Next up was the interview, and we figured we’d take it down by then if you got that far. But hey, maybe Sofia won’t work out, and you might want a backup plan. Have you seen the women that apply to these shows?” Dale made the shape of a curvy woman with his hands. “Hot!”
“Then why don’t you apply?”
Dale held up both his palms. “Are you kidding? I don’t want to get married!”
“Sofia and I broke up, but I don’t want to be on that ridiculous show. You can do whatever you need to do, but take this down before someone else in town sees it.”
“How did you blow it with her?” Dale asked.
“What makes you think I blew it?”
“Um, because you’re a guy?” Shep shrugged.
“Okay, genius. Not this time! She said she loved me. And I love her, so I asked her to marry me. She said no.”
“Are you out of your mind?” Shep’s voice reverberated in the room. His brother looked horrified. “How long have you known her? Five minutes?”
“When you know it’s right, you don’t have to sit around and watch paint dry.”
“You’re an idiot,” Dale said, shaking his head.
“Hey, I want a wife and a family. A woman who doesn’t mind a man who wants to take care of her. I mean, look at Morgan and Holt. They’ve both got ready-made families. That’s what I want, too. A wife. Kids. The whole deal.”