Bare All

by L M Allen

  “Yes, Mexico.”

  “Ahh, Mexico. I love the sound of that. Never been myself though.”

  “I can recommend it. It’s a beautiful country.”

  “Who did you go with?” My head snaps up.

  “Family.” I feel my face tighten, and will it to relax.

  “You’re married?” He frowns at my empty ring finger.

  “Um...that’s...a long story.” He smiles, his eyes assessing me and my reaction. “So...any thoughts on the type of venue your mum would like?”

  “Well, I’ll have family coming from all over, so it needs to be somewhere they can spend the night.”

  “Noted. Anything else?”

  “I’d like a good amount of outside space. A dance floor. A bar. Do you know anywhere like that?”

  “A few places. I’ll check around and see what’s available. What date did you have in mind?”

  “Her birthday is in November. The 12th. Any weekend around then.”

  “Got it. And budget-wise?”

  “Just let me know how much it costs, Eva. I’m not concerned about the money.”

  “I will. Is there anything else you think I need to know?” His breath catches, and I glance at his face.

  “Not right now.”

  “Great. I’ll get on this, and let you know what I come up with. Do you have an email or phone number I can take?”

  I jot down the details as he reels them off, and give him my card. I force my legs to stand, and I walk with him to the door. “Thank you, Mr Worth. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

  “James, please.”

  “James,” I agree with a light smile. And I count to three, before I give him a little wave and head off in the direction of the rooftop coffee bar. I’m so tempted to look over my shoulder to check if he’s watching. Or following. But I keep my eyes forward.

  Just like he’s supposed to, James Worth follows me out onto the terrace. I pretend I haven’t noticed him, and choose an out-of-the-way booth to drink my tea. A few short minutes later, he’s smiling down at me. “Do you mind?” He nods at the empty chair opposite mine.

  “Not at all.”

  He sits and leans back in his chair. “Can I take you to lunch, Eva?” My eyes climb slowly to his.

  “Oh, um...thanks, but I’m pretty busy today.”

  “Another day then. When’s good for you?”

  “Err...I’m not sure. I’d have to check my diary. It’s in the office,” I add quickly when his eyebrow quirks.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

  “You didn’t,” I lie.

  “I’ll be honest with you, Eva. Dating isn’t really my thing.” He dips his chin and looks up at me. “It would be more of a working lunch.”

  “Oh.” I swallow hard and drop my eyes. “Um...well, I suppose that’s a good thing.”

  He chuckles. “Tell me something about yourself.”

  “Not much to tell.” I shrug and take a sip of my scolding tea. “What you see is what you get. Why? Are you all windswept and interesting?” Gotta love Billy Connolly.

  James laughs, throwing his head back a bit. “Oh, I think you must want to remain mysterious.”

  “Do you?” I laugh, puzzled. “How did you get to there, from me telling you I’m boring?” He leans forward, his forearms on the table between us, his eyes never leaving mine.

  “Because I’m absolutely certain that’s not true. All beautiful women are a mystery.”

  “Ahh, well, that’s where your issue lies. I’m just me. The knocked-up, relationship-disaster zone ...” I shake my head. “Never mind. Tell me about you.”

  “You’re pregnant?”

  I nod but look away. His eyebrows move into high arches. “I don’t know if I’ll keep it. I don’t see how...” My eyes shoot to his. “I’m so sorry. I...I don’t know why I said that.” I jump up and grab my takeaway cup. “I’m sorry. I...err...bye.”

  I’m sorry, baby. Don’t listen to a word your mummy says. It’s not true. You’re mine, and I’m yours. Forever. Please forgive me.

  Sid walks into my office just ten minutes later. “You think he bought it?” I ask him quietly, barely moving my lips at all, as he sits opposite me.

  “I know he did.”

  “I don’t think I want to know what that means.”

  “I don’t think you do either. He’s on his way back. Introduce me as your friend.”

  “Okay.” I take several deep breaths and try to compose myself. I don’t know how the hell Will does this for a living. Or he did. He doesn’t anymore.

  Right on cue, James Worth taps on my open office door, a dazzling smile on his face. “Oh, I’m sorry. Is this your...husband?”

  “No. This is Sid. My friend. Did you need something?”

  “I was just going to ask if you’d checked your diary y-yet.” He stutters under Sid’s glare.

  “Oh! And I thought you’d come to give me my card back.” I laugh, and Sid draws a deep, unimpressed breath, his eyes boring into James. He plays his role well. Better than I do.

  “Hello.” Sid smiles in his most charming way. “I’m Sid. Eva’s friend.” I frown at him, and he smirks.

  “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” I ask him, attempting to sound annoyed. It’s not much of a stretch.

  “You trying to get rid of me, Evie?” He steps in close and kisses my cheek. “I’ll see you at home. I’ll cook.”

  “Please don’t.”

  “Ouch!” His hand goes to his heart, and he winces in pretend pain. “I didn’t kill you last night, did I?”

  “God only knows how,” I mutter, before he turns and heads for the door.

  We both watch Sid go, and James chuckles as he directs his attention back to me. “Um...I don’t want to cause any problems with you and...your friend... but I’d really like to take you to lunch. If you’d like to, of course.” He nods to the seat at my desk, in question, and I nod my okay.

  “There is no problem. He’s just my friend.”

  “I think he wants to be more than that.” He turns his body in the chair, angling towards me.

  “Do you?” I give James a quizzical look, and then direct my gaze through the open office door, where Sid is loitering near the reception desk. “No. I don’t think so. We’ve known each other a long time. But...I’m not sure lunch is a great idea...”

  James gives me an almost embarrassed smile and nods, his head hanging low. “Of course. I understand. Well, I look forward to working with you, Eva.”

  “You too. Thanks for understanding.”

  “Knock-knock.” James and I turn to see Bells standing in the threshold.

  “Ahh, I’ll leave you ladies to it.” I nod, and we both watch him go.

  “Hi. Come in. Sit.” I smile at Bells cautiously. I really can’t get into anything personal with her. Not here. Not now.

  “Hey.” Bells’s eyes flit away from mine, before she takes a big breath and walks into my office.

  Neither of us mention Will or Mexico as she sits, and after a beat, reaches into her bag. She pulls out a sheet of paper. “Here.”

  “What is that?” I ask warily without taking it.

  “My...CV.”

  “Your...what?” She said CV. Didn’t she?

  “I need a job. I’m wondering if you’re hiring.” My brain has hit a wall. Again.

  “Huh,” I breathe. That’s all I can manage. But when Bells looks up at me with tears in her eyes, she’s hit the restart button.

  “I’m so sorry, Eva...” She sobs, and I’m out of my chair in a flash. “I know this is such shit timing. I can see you don’t want to talk about it, and I can see you don’t need me...but...”

  “Bells.” I pull her to her feet and squeeze her as tight as two pregnant women can. “Of course I need you.” She gasps. “Now, pull yourself together. We’ll go out there and introduce you to the new staff.” I rub her arm in soothing circles until she’s calm, and when she reaches for her bag to rea
pply her lippy, I know we’re good.

  “Ready?” I ask. She gives me a firm nod, and I open the office door, indicating she should go first.

  “Morning, everyone.” I smile and make my way through the office for the morning meeting.

  “I don’t have much to say today, except to introduce you to Bells. She’s the other half of E:Vents and back from leave. For a few months anyway.”

  Bells’s wide eyes meet mine. “So, Bells, as you can see, we now have fifteen staff members since taking over for Glenn.” I run through, very briefly, who is who, and who does what. Her eyes linger on the catering department girls, and I rush on. “Everyone is fairly busy, so if we’re to take on any more contracts, you might want to start with hiring in another organiser?”

  “Not agency,” we say at the same time, and laugh. Bells stands and clears her throat, and I sit. Don’t bloody cry! I demand, but have to bite the inside of my cheek bloody hard to make sure that I don’t, as she introduces herself to her new staff.

  Chapter 22

  When I push open my front door later that evening, Sid is waiting, with an apron tied around his waist. I can’t help it. Laughter bursts from me like it’s been building up behind a dam.

  “Oh my God! Wait! Wait. I have to get a picture.” I pull out my phone, and Sid strikes a pose. One hand behind his head, the other on his jutted-out hip, his leg bent at a jaunty angle.

  “Where the hell did you get that?” I splutter, clicking the photo and taking in his pink frilly attire, patterned with tiny flowers.

  “I went shopping. I make a good housewife, don’t I? I even make this shit look good.”

  “Oh my God!” I laugh all the way to the kitchen, fill up the kettle, and flick it on.

  “I got us Monopoly too,” he says casually, walking in behind me and leaning against the wall.

  “Sid...”

  “What?” he says in a high-pitched squawk, showing his palms to the ceiling. I grimace, and he steps in closer. “Don’t tell me you never think about it, Evie.”

  “We were just kids.” I shake my head, not wanting to think about it at all.

  “But I was your first. So, I know you must. Sometimes at least.”

  “It was a long time ago. So much has changed. I’ve changed.”

  “Not that much. I still—”

  “Stop.” I close my eyes against the image of his tormented face. “Please. Just...stop.”

  “I’m just saying...This doesn’t have to be all fake. Not if you don’t want it to be.”

  “I love Will, Sid. I’m sorry.”

  “I know. But, just for argument’s sake...” I draw a deep, shuddering breath and he continues. “I’d never do that to you, Evie.”

  “Neither would he. He thought I was sleeping with Gary.” It was revenge. Payback. “He wouldn’t normally...” My words are barely there. Quieter than a whisper. But I know he heard me. He nods firmly and steps back.

  “So, just Monopoly then. Minus the sex?”

  “You’re not funny.” He grins and gives me a wink as he walks over to the boiling kettle.

  “Tea?” I nod, but now I’m worried that this ruse is going to be hard on him. I had no idea...Maybe he’s just trying to make me feel better? Yes, that has to be it. He’s trying to make me feel pretty. In his own Sid way.

  Sid and I were barely more than children. It was Christmas Day. I turned eighteen the day before. Everyone else had gone to bed and left Sid and me to battle on with our game of Monopoly. That he was so cheating at. He was home on leave for the first time since joining the army, and I was so thrilled to have him back for a bit. He’d changed. Grown up. Manned up.

  Things...escalated. From playful squabbling to flirting, to kissing and touching...to my first time. Sid was the first man I slept with. He was gentle and patient and made me feel special. When he told me that he’d always had a thing for me, I was flattered. I’d always liked him too. But we both knew my dad and Davey wouldn’t like it, so we kept it quiet. We were never a proper thing. Not really.

  It was fun, having him as my secret boyfriend for a little while, but when he deployed for six months after joining Davey’s platoon, we decided we should call it off. Neither of us wanted to lie to Davey, and he’d never let it slide. His mate and his sister. I know how important it is for the guys to trust each other, so we never spoke of it again. Until now.

  “I’m just going to get changed. I’ll only be a sec.” He nods but doesn’t turn around.

  When I come back downstairs in comfy and, all importantly, stretchy leggings and an oversized hoody, Sid is studying a laptop, his hands braced on each side of the worktop. I move in behind him, peering over his shoulder.

  “Is that...?” Sid nods slightly, his eyes glued to the monitor, his jaw set hard.

  I watch the scene unfold, unblinking and unmoving, as a figure dressed all in black navigates around my office. When he sits at my desk and taps around on the computer, I gasp as his face is lit up, signifying that he’s just got it right—my password. Sid pulls up a split screen, and we’re looking at the same thing the intruder is.

  I hold my breath as the intruder accesses my emails and types Will’s name into the search bar. He scans through my most recent correspondences to him and then...Oh. Fuck. No. He’s...

  He clicks on compose. And I don’t want to watch. I want to run. But I can’t. I’m frozen. Sid grabs his phone and taps out a quick message, his eyes flicking from one device to the other.

  “Eva. Go sit, darlin’. I’ve got this.” I want to. And I don’t want to. Tears spill from my eyes as I watch the words the man is typing appear on our screen; he attaches the photo and then a link for a divorce site.

  No! No, Will. This was never a mistake. I don’t want your money. I love you. Please, please don’t believe that.

  “This is so fucked up,” I choke. And I gasp, folding over at the middle when he hits send.

  “I’ve got this. I have. Please. Go sit.”

  “I need some air.” Sid nods again, his eyes fixed to the laptop.

  I want to run all the way to Mexico. I want to tell Will exactly what’s going on and make Davey come up with a different plan. I don’t want to do this anymore. The pain it’ll cause isn’t worth it. There must be another way.

  I want to tell him that Sid is here, in the house I bought, pretending to be interested in me. In catching me on the rebound. I want to tell him why. To tell him that this is all part of the plan to bring his tormenter out from whatever rock he’s hiding under, when James Worth confirms that he’s successfully trapped me. And then, when he thinks I’m interested, we’ll turn them both in.

  I want to tell him that I know he only did those things, because he thought I was too. He wouldn’t do that to me. I want to tell him I don’t believe that woman. I want to tell him I’m the only woman in this universe who’s really expecting his baby, and I can’t wait to meet her. That I hope she’s just like her daddy.

  But I can’t do any of that. I can’t see him when he comes looking for me. I have to send him away or ignore him, because the most critical part of the plan is for Will to believe it. Just long enough for whoever is responsible for this to see it. To think they’ve won.

  I sit on the grass under the only tree in my new garden, and I wish the world could stop. To let me get off. I am lost. I have no idea what I’m doing. Only why. This is for Will. I have to keep going.

  ***

  Will has called and called. I switched my phone off.

  He has turned up at my office building, and the security guard, Daryl, got knocked out in Will’s quest to get to me. Sid stopped him long enough for the police to arrive and arrest him for assault.

  I could hear him screaming my name from the pavement below. I wanted nothing more than to go to him. To explain. I would have if Sid hadn’t stopped me. Physically restrained me.

  “I hate you,” I snarled, when the panda car was out of sight, and he loosened his grip and received a swift elbow in the ribs f
or his trouble.

  “I know,” he grunted. “But you’ll thank me one day.”

  “Don’t fucking count on it,” I growled, before I stormed off to the rooftop terrace.

  As I sit, staring blankly at absolutely nothing, someone sits next to me. I glance up and blink to make my eyes focus. “Your tea looks cold,” Sid says with a sad smile, and a quick glance at the pale, insipid liquid in my cup with a pool of tannin floating on the top. I wonder, briefly, how long I’ve been sitting here.

  “Yeah,” I croak. “It does a bit.” And then I burst into uncontrollable tears. Sid pulls me against his chest, and I grab fistfuls of his T-shirt as he manoeuvres me onto his lap. I bury my face in the dark material and cry. In the middle of a crowded café.

  “Shh. Evie, it’s okay, honey. I’ve got you. It’s all going to be okay.” Sid repeats the words like a mantra. It doesn’t matter how many times he says them, I don’t believe a single one. How can it be?

  When I’m quiet, he whispers in my ear, “Listen now. Your office has been bugged. We need to assume that the house has been too. I can’t check without raising suspicions. So, we’re going to have to play the part. You understand?”

  My heart sinks further. Splinters a little bit more, and I nod. Yes. I understand. I know what I have to do. I take the tiny transmitter/tracker thing from Sid when he offers it to me, resigning myself to my fate.

  After a full hour, I walk back to my office, Sid at my side, and close the door, aware that everything I say and do is being broadcast somewhere. “Are you sure you want to stay today? I can take you home if you like?”

  “Don’t you have somewhere else you’d rather be? Babysitting me is hardly a fun way to spend your leave, is it?”

  “I’m going nowhere without you. You want me to go have some fun? You’re going to have to come too.”

  “Oh yeah, ‘cause I’m a barrel of laughs right now.”

  “I bet I could cheer you up.”

  “Yeah?” I scoff. “Who are you? Dynamo?”

  “You like Dynamo?

  “I love him. I’m not one hundred percent convinced he’s human though.”