I DON'T BELONG HERE

by Tayla Grossberg

  “All right.” He reached for his crutches.

  “You don’t have to walk me to the door,” I told him. “I can let myself out.”

  “Thank you, Charlotte.”

  “My pleasure,” I said.

  I went back to the car. Now I was the sad one.

  “He did not want to let you go either, did he?” Dimitri must have read my expression.

  I shook my head and bit back tears that threatened to roll down my cheeks. I needed a change of subject, hoping to distract myself. “Where are we going?”

  “We can drive there... It’s a Halloween festival. There are candy and shows and music and haunted houses.”

  “It’s not close to a graveyard, is it?” I asked.

  “No,” he said. “I will try to keep you away from the scary ghosts.”

  I was not going to think about the Red-eyed Lady. I did not want her to show up. Pondering it would not make her stay away.

  We found parking at the Halloween festival. The place was already full, and we had to park far away from the entrance and on the grass. I did not want my dress to drag through the dirt, so I picked it up – and revealed my sneakers.

  “Nice shoes,” Dimitri said.

  “Shut up,” I mumbled.

  “I mean it,” he said.

  “I thought you were making fun of me.”

  “I’d never make fun of you,” he said as he looked into my eyes. He was serious. He knew me well enough to understand that I’d hurt if someone laughed at me, although my face would hide my pain.

  We reached the entrance, and it had two separate rows. “This one will go faster,” I said.

  “I disagree,” Dimitri said.

  He went to stand in the other row competitively. I reached the front of my row first. I paid for my ticket and waited for Dimitri inside. I smirked at him but he wasn’t a sore loser.

  “Are you excited?” he asked me.

  “I’m out of my comfort zone,” I told him.

  There was a huge stage, and people were performing. Fans watched and cheered. I had never even heard of this band. There were rides and rollercoasters as well. It was a bit overwhelming, but I was glad to be there.

  “Do you enjoy rides?” Dimitri asked.

  “No, I get motion sick.”

  I once again realised what an unadventurous person I was. Would Dimitri get bored with me?

  “I don’t mean to be boring...” I suddenly felt insecure.

  “You are one of the most interesting people that I have ever met,” Dimitri said.

  Flowers bloomed in my stomach, and butterflies flew around them. Dimitri hesitantly extended his arm, and I took it. Wow, after all this time he is finally giving me a breakthrough. His arms were thin and lean, and I felt his muscle through his shirt. He escorted me through the crowd.

  “There is a costume contest,” Dimitri told me. “I think you should do it.”

  “I have stage fright,” I said.

  “Come on,” he said. “You might just win.”

  I liked that he helped me out of my comfort zone. It was nice to have someone push me to try something new. I also liked that Dimitri could step back – he did not need to be in the spotlight the whole time.

  “All right,” I agreed.

  I went to the second stage, where I gave a woman my name. She assigned me the number twenty-three. They pinned a piece of paper onto my back with the number on.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to walk?” I asked Dimitri.

  “No,” he said. “This is your moment.”

  We waited for twenty minutes, and then I was called backstage. I waited with a group of strangers. All their outfits looked fabulous. I was nervous, and I did not hear anything the host said.

  Then the music started playing, and we had to walk onto the stage. Bright lights made my dress sparkle, and mist covered the stage as well. I told myself to look up – if I looked at my feet, I was sure to trip over nothing.

  Three judges were sitting just below the stage by their tables. None of them smiled or looked happy. They were eagles, and the contestant were rabbits.

  I pushed aside my fear. I was a princess of darkness – I had nothing to fear. I walked to the edge of the stage and stopped dramatically. I put my hands on my hips and gazed at the judges and the crowd. Then I turned and flipped my hair. The crowd cheered.

  My heart was hammering the whole time. I could not see Dimitri in the crowd, but I knew he was there, supporting me.

  Then the host told the contestants to line up on stage. We did that while the judges decided who had won. They gave the results to the host, and there were three places. Third place went to a vampire, and the man proudly walked to the host. The photographer took a photo of them, and then the vampire received his gift voucher. Second place went to twin sisters who had dressed up like zombies. They also took a photo and received their gift voucher.

  “And first place goes to...number twenty-three!”

  For a moment I froze and wondered if I had heard right. Only when someone patted me on the back did I approach the host. He shook my hand, and we had a photo taken. He gave me a gift voucher. The rest of the contestants left the stage, and we champions had one last photo taken together. I was exhilarated by the time I came off stage. I looked around but could not find Dimitri.

  “You did great!” he said from behind me.

  I ran to him and hugged him. It caught him off guard and he took a moment to hug me back.

  “How did you find me in the crowd?” I asked.

  “You stand out.” He smiled. “What is the voucher for?”

  “Everything: rides, drinks, candy...”

  “You have to eat one of those candy apples,” Dimitri told me. “They look delicious.”

  “I will do that,” I said.

  I headed over to the stall and bought myself an apple. Dimitri did not want one. As I waited for my apple, a thought struck me. Why had the Red-eyed Lady not made an appearance? It was the night ghosts were most powerful.

  Chapter 20

  Charlotte

  I ate my delicious candy apple. Crunch-crunch. Dimitri walked next to me.

  “How come you don’t like candy?” I asked.

  “I don’t know,” he said. “I just don’t like sweets in general. Every Halloween I would give my brother all of my candy, but I do like chocolates.”

  The haunted house was a big tent with a large sign by the entrance. Its name was painted in red paint that dripped – making it look like blood. A ticket booth stood in front of it. I used to be scared of these houses and walk away... But now I was a princess of darkness, and Dimitri was at my side. I wasn’t scared, I was...interested.

  I pointed to the haunted house. “Do you want to go in there?”

  “Aren’t you scared that we will run into a ghost?” Dimitri asked me.

  I rolled my eyes. “It won’t be the real thing.”

  “Okay then.” Dimitri sounded impressed.

  “I’ll use my voucher to pay,” I told Dimitri and rushed ahead. I wanted to avoid the approaching people – so that we did not have to stand in a queue. I paid and gave Dimitri his ticket.

  “Thank you, I did not expect you to pay for me.”

  “I don’t mind,” I said. “It’s not like I can use this voucher anywhere else.”

  We had to wait ten minutes before we could enter. Inside it was dark, and the ground was uneven. There were a few lamps that were shaped like candles that barely illuminated the tent. On the floor were plastic skulls and bones, and cobwebs and spiders covered the roof and walls.

  “Are you scared yet?” Dimitri asked.

  “If I say yes, will you hold my hand for comfort?”

  He laughed and took my hand in his, catching me by surprise. Touch was not Dimitri’s love language. His fingers were cold around mine but comforting. My heart was racing, and I knew it was not because of the haunted house. We passed through the halls, and a malicious laughter filled the air. Instead of finding it
terrifying, I almost laughed as well.

  “You’re not supposed to be smiling in here,” Dimitri commented.

  “Would you have me screaming instead?”

  For once, Dimitri looked away shyly. We walked on, and the laughter stopped, followed by a silence that seemed to swallow us whole. I took a few more steps until someone jumped from around a corner.

  “BOO!”

  I could not help it, I screamed. Of course it was not a real ghost, it was a person wearing a sheet. The sheet was cut open by his eyes so that he could see. He laughed as he ran away.

  Dimitri laughed as well.

  “What?” I was not embarrassed. I could laugh at my own silliness. “He caught me off guard!”

  “Just keep walking.” Dimitri’s smile mirrored mine.

  We encountered several rooms with different decorations. Some were empty and others were stacked with papers and pens and fake blood. Someone else screamed, and the sound of bat wings flapping came from a hidden speaker.

  “They are good with jump scares,” I said.

  “And decorations!” Dimitri added.

  We passed more people who were dressed as monsters. They reached for me, and I squealed and ran to the exit. Dimitri laughed and followed me. “You lasted longer than I thought you would.”

  “I made it through the whole house!” I said.

  Once we were outside, we wandered away from the crowds and the noise. The stars were shining down on us, and I felt like reality was finally better than my books. It was a happy night, one I’d never forget.

  I paused. A man was stumbling around – lost and confused. He was not drunk... He asked people for help but everyone just ignored him. They carried on as if he was not there.

  “What is it?” Dimitri asked.

  “There is a ghost,” I said as a human passed through this man as if he were made of mist. I felt comfortable telling Dimitri this. I would never have told anyone else that I was seeing a ghost – not even my sister. But I trusted Dimitri and knew he wouldn’t laugh at me. I explained, “It is an elderly man. He is in the middle of the crowd.”

  Dimitri studied the crowd. There were many people, and I assumed he didn’t know who I was referring to.

  “You can’t see him,” I said. “Only I can.”

  “Is he...dead?” Dimitri asked as he looked in the man’s direction.

  I nodded. “He looks so scared. I don’t think he knows he is dead. Several people have walked though him.”

  As I spoke, a woman passed through the man. His body shimmered out of shape like mist, and the woman shuddered. She was probably cold and blamed it on the approaching winter.

  “Does he not see that people are walking through him?” Dimitri asked.

  “Sometimes they see what they want to see. And sometimes we do,” I said.

  “Maybe he just needs someone to help him.”

  “Don’t look at me,” I said. “I’m not going to him.”

  I had never knowingly approached a ghost before, and I was not planning on starting now. I tried to stay away from them and hoped they stayed away from me.

  Dimitri looked at me. “Don’t you think you have this gift for a reason?”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “Charlotte, I think your purpose on earth might just be to help them.”

  My purpose... for so long I didn’t know what I was supposed to do with my life. For so long I had thought my gift was a curse, a punishment. But maybe I was exactly what these ghosts needed to guide them. Maybe I could help them move on – as if I was an angel. And Grandma May had seen someone in my tea cup who needed my help.

  “I... don’t know what to say.”

  “You’re always telling me how you don’t know what you want to do with your life. Why don’t you give it a try?”

  I took a deep breath and pushed aside my fear. I left Dimitri’s side and went to the old man.

  I am not afraid.

  I reached the man. “Excuse me, sir.”

  The man looked at me. “Dear girl!” He said this hopefully, and ran towards me. When he reached for me, his hand went through me. His eyes filled with tears, and I could see how confused he was. He must feel alone and misunderstood – like I felt every day of my life, before I met Dimitri.

  “Don’t cry...” I said. I couldn’t see any wounds and wondered if he had died from old age. His windpipe wasn’t crushed, like the Red-eyed Lady’s, and he was speaking just fine. If only all ghosts were this easy to talk to, my life would be so much easier. But then again, maybe the Red-eyed Lady enjoyed haunting me and didn’t have interest in talking.

  “Why are you the only one that can see me?” he asked. “Why can’t I touch anyone?”

  “You don’t belong here,” I told him. “Why are you still here?”

  The man thought about that. “My wife. I want my wife.”

  “She will join you when the time is right,” I said. “There is no point in lingering here.”

  I began walking, and he followed me. I led him away from the crowd and waited for him to realise what I had told him.

  “I am dead, aren’t I?”

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  We stopped walking and the man looked into the open field. “I was so scared... My family could not see me. I was screaming at the top of my lungs, and they did not hear me. And no one in this crowd could help me, except for you. Thank you, child.”

  He had been more scared than I had been. He was dead, but didn’t fear death. He feared being invisible.

  “You will be heard again,” I told him.

  He gave me a smile and walked into the open field. I did not follow but watched him vanish into thin air. I did not know where he went, but I was sure he had gone where he belonged.

  I returned to Dimitri. “He is gone.”

  “You did a nice thing,” Dimitri said.

  I did, didn’t I? I had helped someone whom I was scared of. Being scared seemed silly now. He hadn’t wanted to hurt me. He couldn’t hurt me. He had merely needed guidance.

  “He was not that scary,” I said.

  We walked in silence for a while. My dress was warm, and the night was not as cold as before.

  “Is there anything else you want to do?” Dimitri asked. “Are you sure you are not going to regret missing out on the rollercoaster?”

  “I’ve had enough,” I said. “It was a lot of fun.”

  “I have one last thing that we need to do before going home...”

  “What is that?” I asked.

  He gave me a sly smile, and we went to my car. I switched on the headlights and followed Dimitri’s directions. We drove to a park where there were plenty of people and many lights. There was a rock climbing wall and a water tower.

  After finding a parking spot, I walked with Dimitri to the water tower. It had steps, and we climbed them. When we reached the top, we sat down and gazed out at the city lights. Columbus was not big but it did have a lovely skyline.

  “This is beautiful,” I said.

  “I always come here when I want to get away from everyone,” Dimitri said. “I’ve never brought a girl here.”

  I looked at him and felt my heart go pitter-patter. He made me feel so special... and I was special to him.

  “I know I should not do this...” Dimitri said.

  “Do what?” I asked.

  He turned, and in one swift motion he leaned in. Our eyes closed as our lips brushed together. The kiss did not last long, but it was the most magical moment of my life.

  Chapter 21

  Charlotte

  It was Thursday night when Ned entered the house with a smile. Andrea’s cooking filled the kitchen with a delicious smell that made my stomach rumble. Juan and I were sitting at the kitchen table, keeping my mother company.

  “Hello darling, hello daughters,” he said and greeted Andrea with a kiss. “That smells fantastic.”

  “You are in a good mood,” she remarked.

  “I am,” he said. �
�I picked up the keys for the vacation house.”

  She threw her arms around his neck. “It’s going to be great!”

  I offered a smile, and Juan laughed at me because she knew me well enough to tell when I was faking it. I wasn’t in the mood for a vacation in the middle of nowhere. I also reminded myself that we weren’t going nowhere – we were going to the area where the Red-eyed Lady had been killed. To the area I swore I would never go again.

  Ned helped us set the table. We ate dinner together, and Ned told us that we would leave for vacation tomorrow afternoon.

  “I’m excited!” Juan said. “May I invite some friends over during the day?”

  My father had said it was a family vacation, but Juan looked at him with big, cute eyes. She was pushing her luck, and she knew it.

  “Which friends?”

  “Audrey and Debbie,” Juan said. “They will be close by – on Audrey’s ranch.”

  “We don’t have place for them to sleep,” Ned told her, “and I only booked for four people.”

  “They only want to spend Saturday with us,” Juan said. “Please, Dad. They will bring their own food and drinks.”

  Andrea looked at Ned. “The more the merrier, right?”

  Ned sighed. “Fine, but you will not be drinking any alcoholic beverages.”

  “You are the best!” Juan kissed him on the cheek.

  Juan washed the dishes that night, and I dried them before I put them away. Then we went upstairs to pack our bags. I packed slowly and accepted that I didn’t have much in the way of outdoor clothes. I liked tight, stylish jeans, classy jackets, and elegant shirts. When everyone else fell asleep I was still awake and had just finished packing.

  “Do you ever close this window?”

  I jumped at Dimitri’s voice and turned around. He was sitting on the windowsill, smiling at me. It was not his usual naughty-boy smile but a calm, gentle smile.

  “I like the fresh air,” I admitted. “You are very good at sneaking up on me.”

  “I don’t mean to sneak up on you.” Dimitri didn’t look like he regretted it. I had come to the conclusion that he enjoyed scaring me.

  I had not seen him since Halloween. We had not spoken about the kiss, although I could not stop thinking about it. Had it been as big a deal to him as it had been for me? He sat there, on the windowsill, and made no attempt to kiss or hug me. I reminded myself that touch was not his love language.