Kindling for the Heart

by Karen Legasy

  Midmorning mist from the ocean gave a salty sheen to their skin as the three women walked at the water’s edge. Jo’s feet were submerged while her mother and sister jumped back and forth to avoid getting their sandals wet. Their mother focused on the shops further down the beach, Anna studied her freshly painted toenails, and Jo pictured Mollie running alongside them.

  “Mollie would love it here,” Jo said.

  “Don’t you think she’d find it too hot?” Their mother held her floppy hat on her head against the wind.

  “I guess you’re right.” Jo lowered the peak on her ball cap to avoid having it blow off. “It feels strange to be going for a walk without her. I hope she’s doing okay.”

  “I’m sure she is,” Anna said. “I forgot to tell you, Robert sent an email this morning reminding us he’s off today and will be using your truck while his vehicle’s at the shop. He told me he likes driving your truck and taking Mollie everywhere with him. Considering her uncle is spoiling her, I bet Mollie’s having the time of her life. Just like you should be.”

  “Robert’s not her uncle and I’m still in mourning, remember?”

  “You need to move on and stop feeling sorry for yourself,” Anna said. “It’s not like Mom or I have someone in our lives, and it’s not the end of the world or anything. Besides, there could be someone waiting to meet you right now.”

  “Not in Timmins, that’s for sure.” Jo resolved to live the rest of her life single.

  “How do you know?” her mother said. “I’m sure there’s a woman out there who would give the world to share her life with yours.”

  “Well, that would be too bad because I’m not available to have a relationship with anyone. Not now and not ever.”

  Her mother shook her head. “I wish Sam had never come around. I’d like to give her a piece of my mind. She had us all fooled.”

  “Can we talk about something else?” Jo said.

  “It isn’t so bad being single.” Anna held on to her hat as the wind tugged at its large brim.

  “Here, here.” Jo raised a fist. “Life is so much easier that way.”

  “You girls are too young to stay single,” their mother said.

  “It’s more that we’re old enough to know what we want,” Anna said. “I like my life the way it is, especially this week vacationing in paradise with my mother and little sister. Who needs anything more than that?”

  “Maybe not if you’re a nun.” Their mother clicked her tongue.

  “Mother, what do you mean by that?”

  “Do I have to spell it out?” She turned to Anna. “At your age, your father and I still had a very active sex life.”

  “La. La. La.” Anna put fingers in her ears. “Too much information.”

  “Parents don’t have sex.” Jo laughed. “Come on, let’s head back to the resort and get a piña colada.”

  Sam walked out of the interview in tears. It had gone better than great, and they’d all but offered her the job. The experience she’d be bringing to Maxwell and Associates was a good fit with the Criminal Defense Lawyer position they were looking to fill. All those hours of reviewing litigation files and studying case law helped her to shine as she easily responded to each question.

  Her synergy with the lawyers stimulated conversation and allowed for some frank discussion at the end of the evaluation period. Sam outed herself and was overjoyed to find out that one of the junior male partners on the panel was also gay. Things were falling into place. Now she just needed to talk to Jo.

  It was slightly after three as she pulled away from her parking meter that charged only a fraction of the fees she was used to in Toronto. Traffic was light and the drive to Jo’s would take less than fifteen minutes. Life seemed so much simpler in the smaller city where the love of her life lived. All she had to do was fix the mess from Toronto so they could be together.

  Jo would surely be home by now, or almost. Sam spotted a flower shop and pulled over to get a bouquet for her sweetheart. She had her small bundle of kindling to give as a peace offering, but the flowers would be presented as a celebration of her love. And then she’d have to find a pet store or someplace to buy a treat for Mollie.

  She bought a simple bouquet of a dozen red roses mixed with eucalyptus that would smell and look nice on Jo’s dining table. Mollie would get a rawhide bone. Sam also picked up a pizza and six-pack of cold beer. She was confident they’d have dinner together, famished after ravenous sex.

  Jo’s truck was in the driveway when Sam turned in. The tracks were fresh, and the truck still looked warm. She must have just gotten home. Sam swallowed, her hand shaking as she turned off the engine. She was finally here, about to see Jo again and just wanting to collapse in her arms.

  Mollie was inside, but Sam heard her bark when she shut her car door. Flowers in hand, she walked what felt like a plank to Jo’s entryway. Her long wool coat with scarf was no match against the cold wind that bit right to the bone. She couldn’t wait to get inside.

  The door opened and Mollie burst out, almost knocking Sam over in her excitement.

  “Mollie.” Sam bent over and buried her face in the dog. “I’ve missed you so much.” She was afraid to look up, waiting for Jo to say something, and held out the roses. “These are for you. Please, Jo, give me another chance.”

  “Jo’s not here,” Robert said.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Sam’s heart sank as she gaped up at Jo’s nephew. “Oh. Sorry, I thought you were Jo. Where is she?”

  “I don’t think that’s any of your business.” Robert hovered at the half-open door, squinting at Sam.

  “Of course not.” Sam’s gaze drifted back to a squiggling Mollie, suddenly sick with worry. “What time will she be back?”

  “Not until the weekend.”

  No. “Please don’t tell me that.”

  Jo was gone. How could this have happened? She needed to talk to her, convince her how much she loved her, and make things right. All seemed lost now. She started to cry, the bouquet of roses falling from her hand. “I have to see Jo today and tell her how much I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her.”

  “I’m sorry.” Robert sighed. “It’s cold standing here. Why don’t you come inside for a minute?”

  “Are you sure it’s okay?” Sam spoke into Mollie’s fur, struggling to contain herself and pressing her cheek against the welcoming dog for comfort.

  “Yes.” Robert opened the door and the sweet smell of Jo’s house wafted outside.

  “Please come in.”

  “Thank you.” Sam reached for the flowers, and stepped through the doorway.

  She felt like she’d just come home, the soothing warmth and familiar aroma of Jo’s cedar closet beckoning her to stay forever. She felt the urge to rush into Jo’s bed and bury herself there until the weekend, when Jo would be back. Instead, Sam stood on the entry mat and held out the bouquet to Robert. “You might as well have these.”

  He put his hands in his pockets. “I couldn’t. They’re so beautiful.”

  “Please take them.” Sam’s voice trembled as she shoved them at him. “I can’t take them back to Toronto with me.”

  Robert finally took the flowers, raising them to his nose for a sniff. “They smell wonderful. Thank you. I’ll put them in some water and they should survive until after Aunt Jo comes home.” He moved toward the sink, speaking over his shoulder. “I think she’ll love them. Can you stay for a while? Have a cup of tea at least?”

  “That would be nice.” Sam felt sick at the thought of leaving so soon, without seeing Jo. Her careful planning, right down to what she was going to say, all lost now as the reality of her failure to reconnect with Jo taking hold. She struggled to keep her voice calm. “I have something for Mollie too.” Her hand trembled as she took the rawhide bone out of her coat pocket, giving it to the wriggling dog. “Here you go, girl.”

  “Come on in and grab a seat at the table.” Robert found a crystal vase in one of the cupboard
s and began to unwrap the roses. He worked at the kitchen counter. “These are certainly meant for someone special, I’d say.”

  “They are.” Sam kicked off her boots and hung her coat in the closet, the familiarity of it a small solace against her pain. “She’s the love of my life.” Her voice caught, and she fought back more tears.

  Robert focused on the flowers, carefully arranging them in the vase next to the kitchen sink. “You broke her heart.”

  “I know.” Sam sat at the table and pulled a tissue out of her pocket. “It was all a terrible misunderstanding.” She paused to wipe her nose, her hands cold, but feet warm on the cork floor. “Today was supposed to be the day when I wanted to make things right with Jo.”

  “Long distance relationships are hard.”

  “I plan to move to Timmins for Jo.” Sam could see the top of the cedar hedge in the distance outside Jo’s kitchen window. The branches were covered in fresh snow and she longed to get up and look out the window.

  “You’re going to give up your job and lifestyle in the big city?” Robert paused to look at her, his hands on one of the eucalyptus twigs.

  “Yes.” Sam took a deep breath, seeing a resemblance to Jo in the way his forehead creased. The look was so familiar. “My life in Toronto is empty without her.”

  “That’s not my understanding.” Robert shook his head and resumed arranging the bouquet. “I hear you’re still hanging out with your ex?”

  “It’s not like that. There was a big misunderstanding when your aunt saw me in Toronto. If only I could talk to her today and set things right.”

  “She’s out of the country,” Robert said as he poured hot water into the teapot.

  “I see.” Sam hunched back into her chair, feeling like a boulder had just been dropped into her stomach.

  “Beautiful.” Robert placed the flowers on the table then went back for the teapot. “Aunt Jo would love them.”

  Sam trembled with sadness as she watched Robert bring the pot of tea, two mugs, and some milk to the table. She would have been the one serving the tea while she stayed with Jo, but now felt like a visitor where she’d felt at home. An unwelcome one at that, because nothing had been resolved between them. “I want her to love me.”

  “Oh, she loves you.” Robert pulled up a chair, his black wool socks covered in Mollie’s fur. “Very much so and that’s why she’s terribly hurt and pissed at you.”

  “Please, then, put me in touch with her today. There must be a way. Can you send her an email to let her know I’m here and want to talk to her?”

  Robert poured them each a cup of tea, taking his time to respond. “Do you think that’s a good idea, considering how she feels at the moment?”

  “What about your mother or grandmother?” Surely Julia or Anna would help her. “Are they around so I could talk to them?”

  “Nope. They’re out of the country too on some nice warm beach to cheer up Aunt Jo.” He shifted one of the roses. “She was a real mess because of you. They wanted her to have a change of scenery to help get you out of her system.”

  “Shit. I really need to fix things, Robert.” Sam’s hands were wrapped around her mug, the heat soothing as they trembled. “Please help me.”

  Robert took his phone out of his pocket. “I’ll send Mom an email. Aunt Jo’s not looking at hers.”

  Fifteen minutes later and after Sam filled Robert in on the fateful day in Toronto, a negative response came in from Anna. She refused to let Jo know Sam was at her place in Timmins, desperate to talk with her.

  “Mom can be stubborn sometimes.” Robert shrugged his shoulders then put his phone back down on the light oak table.

  “Would she at least talk to me then?” Sam grabbed onto his arm, feeling warmth under his sweater sleeve as he stayed still, even after she let go. “Please?”

  He sighed. “She’s written you off and says Aunt Jo is finally starting to move on. It seems the trip has been good for her mental health.”

  “Can we call your Mom’s phone? I’ll pay any bills on both ends.” Sam reached for her cell, urging him on. “Here, I’ll transfer you a hundred dollars right now in good faith.”

  “It’s okay, I’m starting to believe I can trust you. Let me try calling Mom first and see if she answers.”

  “Please let her pick up.” Sam held her breath while Robert dialed, watching Mollie gnaw at the rawhide as she lay on the rug by the back door.

  “Hey, Mom. I’m here with Sam.” Her heart began to race, preparing to speak with Anna and tell her how much she loved Jo. “Is it okay if I put you on speaker phone?” He nodded then put his cell in the middle of the table.

  “Thanks for answering, Anna.” Sam struggled to keep her voice steady.

  “What the hell are you doing there?” Anna’s tone was harsh, her anger loud and clear. “Haven’t you screwed up Jo’s life enough?”

  “It’s not what you think, Anna.” Sam stared at Robert’s white-cased phone on the table, her shoulders rigid with fear of Anna hanging up and breaking the only lifeline she had to reaching Jo right now. She had to convince the woman. “I love her.”

  “You almost ruined her life. I’m not going to let that happen again. She’s finally relaxing and enjoying the beach. If you really love her, you’ll leave her alone.”

  “Please, Anna…”

  “Don’t call back again.” She ended the call.

  Sam started to cry with the realization things were going to stay a mess. “I’m sorry.” She sniffed, shaking her head in defeat. “I’m usually not this sappy.”

  Robert got up to get the box of tissues Jo kept on the counter. “Why did you come today of all days?”

  “I flew in this morning for a job interview at Maxwell and Associates.”

  “No shit.” Robert straightened, the table jerking as his knee hit a leg. “You’re really serious about Aunt Jo, aren’t you?”

  “I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Will you help me, Robert? Please?”

  Robert’s face lit up. “Come back next week for Valentine’s Day. Aunt Jo and I are going to have a big bonfire. It’ll be perfect and you can surprise her, like you wanted to today.”

  “Do you think so?”

  “I know so.” Robert grinned. “I’ll make sure it happens this time.”

  Sam’s return to Toronto that night no longer felt like the disaster she was bracing for. She squeezed Robert’s hand. “I’m so glad you were here today and let me in.”

  “Me too.”

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Sam hung up the phone and danced around her bedroom. “Yes!” She’d just been officially offered the position at Maxwell and Associates. It was Saturday morning and she’d been counting down the days for Jo’s return. The fact that Jo would be going through the Toronto airport later in the day on her journey back to Timmins drove Sam crazy with anticipation.

  She’d shared her beer and pizza with Robert then caught a flight back to Toronto Monday evening. Although disappointed at not seeing Jo on this visit, Sam was full of hope they’d soon be living together in Timmins. She dialed Robert, reaching his familiar voice mail and knowing he’d call back soon.

  “They just offered me the job!” she shouted into the phone. “Give me a call when you get a chance.”

  Sam sat on the edge of her bed and clutched the bundle of cedar kindling close to her chest. All they needed now was a spark, and Sam was determined to make it catch this time.

  Meeting Jo had certainly started a burning desire in her heart, an inferno like no other, and she could hardly wait until Valentine’s Day to give the kindling back to the love of her life.

  “Hey, Sam.” Trish tapped then eased open her bedroom door. “Do you have a minute to chat?”

  “Sure.” Sam put the kindling in her suitcase, wanting it away from Trish. “What’s up?”

  “Jo’s asked me to move in with her.”

  Sam sighed. “Could you please refer to her as Joanne when you’re talking to me. I have ano
ther Jo on my mind right now.”

  “Sorry.” Trish almost sang the word. “I’ll start moving out this weekend and be gone by the end of next week.”

  “Perfect timing.” Sam smiled. Things were falling into place. “I just got offered the job in Timmins, so I’ll be putting the house up for sale.”

  “Are you serious? Congratulations, Sam!” Trish pulled her into a hug. “Does Jo know?”

  “Not yet. I’ll be heading to Timmins on Tuesday morning to tell her.”

  “Valentine’s Day. How nice. I hope she’ll be there this time.”

  “She will.” Sam started toward the kitchen, wanting Trish out of her room. “Her nephew’s going to make sure.”

  “Joanne and I are going to indulge in some stay-at-home naked chef recipes for our Valentine’s Day dinner.” Trish giggled. “At our new place, of course. I wouldn’t dream of doing that here.”

  “Good.” Sam’s phone started to ring with the callback she’d been expecting. “I have to get this.” She buried her head in the fridge, searching for something to eat. “Hey, Robert.”

  “Congratulations!” His voice rang out as she pictured him doing a little happy dance in Jo’s kitchen. “I’m so happy for you and for Aunt Jo. When do they want you to start?”

  Sam grabbed a bag of baby carrots, some cheese, and a bottle of juice. “As soon as possible. I’m so excited, Robert, but this waiting is painfully stressful.”

  “I’ll be picking them up at the airport tonight and it’ll be hard to not say anything.”

  “Are you going to tell her I was at her place?” Sam returned to her room and sat on the bed with her snack.

  “Of course not.” She heard the clinking of Mollie’s collar in the background. How she wished she were there now. “My mother warned me against it because she doesn’t want Aunt Jo upset again. You’ll have to tell her yourself when you’re here on Tuesday.”

  “What if she refuses to see me?”

  “You’re a smart woman and I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”