Tainted Dreams

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Tainted Dreams Page 7

by Christi Corbett


  Pushing aside the memory of her mother's admonition to never act coy to impress or cajole a man, Kate began creatively claiming what was rightfully hers. After all, lying was the only option she had left.

  "It seems I misspoke earlier," she said, then smothered a feigned giggle with practiced fingertips. "I am married. The name on the deed, Elijah, belongs to my husband."

  The set of Jim's brow went from confused to disbelieving. "Why isn't he here?"

  Doing her best to ignore the man at her side, his mouth now agape, she continued. "He had some final business to attend to back home and sent me out early. I expect him next spring, but in the meantime I'd love to explore the water on our land." She flashed Jim a knowing smile. "That is what you were tracing on that map? A river or creek?"

  Eyes wide, Jim simply nodded.

  "Do you happen to know the name of it?" she asked.

  "Yes, but I'll again refer back to what I said earlier," he replied in a tone that left little doubt of his rising irritation. "After your husband arrives, send him into the Oregon City office. Once the claim is confirmed, they'll share the specific location."

  Kate disguised her despair with a flurry of useless motions—smoothing a wrinkle from her trousers, brushing at a smudge of dirt on her wrist, and finally rolling the brim of her father's hat between her fingers. Then, fearing the loss of what she had left should Jim insist on holding onto the deed until her husband arrived, she eased the parchment off the desk and onto her lap. After refolding and tucking it into the envelope, she slid it deep into her pocket.

  "You two going back right away, or do you have time to join me for dinner?"

  Kate's hopes soared, envisioning an evening of seemingly innocent questions and observations, all crafted with the goal of Jim ultimately letting the name of the creek slip, giving her a vital clue to where to begin her search.

  "How kind of you to ask, and of course we'd love to—"

  "No." Jake sprang from his chair, then brought her up beside him with an insistent pull of her upper arm. "We need to get back to Oregon City immediately. Seems we've got some things to sort out."

  "I understand," Jim said, rising to his feet. "It was good to see you again, Jake. Don't be a stranger."

  "I'm almost certain I'll be seeing you around again soon." Jake's grim tone matched his eyes.

  Kate stayed silent as Jake's hand, unrelenting and unforgiving, settled on the small of her back, spun her around, and firmly propelled her toward the door.

  Chapter Twelve

  Justifications

  Riding away from the land claims office, Jake contemplated which was worse—watching the woman he loved tell blatant lies, about her father no less, to a future government official, or to then watch her resort to acting like a simpering fool to gain information.

  An hour ago he would have sworn Kate had changed from the spoiled, demanding woman he'd met the first day on the trail, but after seeing what she was capable of and comfortable doing, he wasn't so confident.

  Old habits died hard. Or in her case, perhaps not at all.

  "You certainly are full of surprises," Jake said, struggling to keep both his tone and his irritation under control.

  "What's that supposed to mean?"

  "Most women would have collected their tears in a scented lace handkerchief after hearing Jim's assessment. Not you. You set your jaw and spout lies."

  Kate straightened in her saddle and gave him a sidelong look. Her expression—one of unbridled determination to get what she wanted, no matter the cost—startled him.

  "One thing I learned on the trail—crying and hysterics accomplish nothing. So yes, I lied." She paused, her eyes daring him to challenge her next words. "I won't allow clueless men to stand in the way of what is rightfully mine."

  Jake shook his head in disbelief at what he was hearing and seeing. Instead of showing concern or regret, she sat calmly in her saddle, an elbow draped across the horn and the reins in hand. As if she hadn't a care in the world.

  "Kate, you have no idea what you've brought upon yourself with your lies! Jim is a petty man who thrives on gathering information, then twisting it for his own benefit. Once he figures out a way to profit from the fact you're in possession of a fake deed, he'll eagerly share that knowledge with the first person who offers to increase his pocketbook or political influence."

  He glared at her, still disgusted with how easily she'd resorted to deception. "Jim's smart, too," he continued. "Don't think for one minute you've convinced him you're simply biding your time, waiting to be reunited with your dear husband, Elijah."

  She stared at him, incredulous. "You think I'm proud of how I acted like a helpless simpleton back there? You think my father would be proud to see his daughter grovel for scraps of information?" Her eyes narrowed. "I'll never know if he'd have approved or scorned my actions today, but I'm certain he'd want me to go after what is rightfully mine."

  She halted her rant, took a deep breath, then studied him thoughtfully. "I'm curious; how would you have handled it?"

  The unexpected question took Jake off guard. Admittedly he'd never considered land ownership laws from a woman's perspective, and he knew little about the intricate details of starting a business, much less what it took to successfully run one. After spending more than a minute weighing various ideas, the truth hit him hard—he had nothing to add, nothing to offer, and no way to help.

  "Don't insult how I handle my affairs." Nostrils flaring, she pointed an accusing index finger directly at his chest. "Especially since you're unwilling to propose anything better."

  Opting for forced silence over blurting out something he didn't—or did—mean, Jake set his jaw and urged his horse to a trot. As he led the way across the well-trodden trail back to Oregon City, he finally figured out what had bothered him the most about watching Kate lie.

  He'd kept quiet, which made him a liar too.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Clarifications

  They rode for hours. Silently.

  The day remained uneventful, allowing Kate the time she needed to consider her next move. Back home in Virginia, chess had been a favorite pastime and she'd often battled her father or his friends long past twilight. While she appreciated outright daring in a player, her strongest plays had always been ones she'd carefully plotted and then swiftly executed. Usually within a few vicious moves.

  Acquiring her land would be no different.

  For starters, Theodore's business knowledge and contacts would be a valuable asset to mine if she did want to pursue opening a mercantile, which appeared to be the next logical step. Especially given the five supply wagons already due into Oregon City next year, paid for and arranged by her father.

  If she spent the coming winter planning and plotting—hopefully with Jake by her side—she could potentially flip an open sign in a window next spring. Eventually she'd be able to move onto the second part of her father's plan—the entire reason she'd agreed to settle out west—a horse ranch.

  Then there was Jake and their future.

  He'd seemed certain of his love as they stood on the hilltop overlooking Oregon City.

  He'd seemed certain as he'd proclaimed his desire to share a life together with her.

  He'd seemed more than certain as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulled her into his chest, and thoroughly kissed her.

  Now, three days later and still without a proposal, Kate couldn't help but wonder if he'd simply been caught up in the emotion of finally crossing the trail. Admittedly things had been tense since they'd arrived into Oregon City, but she hadn't once wavered in her feelings. She admired him, respected him, and wanted him as her husband. Figuring out what he wanted was proving to be a challenge she hadn't anticipated.

  When daylight waned, the temperature hovered near freezing and a drizzle covered everything with frigid dampness. An uncomfortable night loomed.

  Months of making camp together allowed for brevity in their discussions of where to tie off the
horses, place the fire, and what they'd eat for dinner. Within an hour of stopping, all needs were tended to, including the horses, which left nothing to do but keep warm by the fire.

  Kate sat as near the flames as her cheeks and chin could tolerate, huddled beneath a well-worn quilt. Even her wool coat, leather gloves, and father's hat couldn't fully dissuade the chill. Across the fire, Jake lay with his left leg positioned closest to the meager warmth offered by the hissing flames. Judging by the low groans he'd failed to hide every time he shifted, he was sore and in want of a bed that wasn't a tattered bedroll on damp ground.

  Though their last few hours had been marred by tension, she couldn't bear watching the man she loved grimace in pain. She tossed a handful of pinecones on the fire, and then added a log.

  "If you're cold, I can add another," she said, her hand hovering over the dwindling pile of branches.

  "I'm fine."

  Silence reigned until she again broke the quiet in the hopes a conversation might distract from his discomfort. "I'm eager to return to the hotel. How about you? A hot bath should do wonders for your leg." And your attitude.

  Jake's eyes locked with hers as he slowly shook his head. "I'd rather wash from a horse's water trough than spend one more night under Theo's roof."

  Maybe Jake didn't realize professional relationships were often forged atop a mutual hatred between men, yet respect for the usefulness they each possessed. In her interactions with Theodore he'd more than proven himself to be mercurial, but business was another thing entirely. If Jake would put his personal feelings aside instead of being stubborn to a fault, he'd see a working relationship with Theodore had immense benefits.

  "I recall you don't care for him. However, he has extensive knowledge of treaties and pending laws. His relationships with business owners and upcoming politicians will be a valuable asset if we open a mercantile."

  And perhaps Jake would realize that by her use of the word "we" that she was considering their future. A future together.

  "Kate, why are we here?"

  "What do you mean?" she replied, looking around in confusion. "You know we prefer to camp next to water, and a creek is right over the hill."

  "I mean, you need to question why Theo sent us to Champoeg. You insist he's a smart man who knows the law; he could have told you both deeds were worthless. He could have mentioned an office opening up next week in Oregon City."

  "He did mention it. If you'll recall, I insisted I couldn't wait. Why are you so intent on berating a man who was simply trying to help?"

  "Why are you so intent on defending him?"

  "I'm not defending. I'm clarifying." Kate let out a groan of frustration. "Theodore said a land office would open in Oregon City 'within a few weeks'. And I never mentioned I held actual deeds. Based on the information I gave, his advice was appropriate and correct." She paused to give him an appraising glare. "Besides, you could have spoken up."

  "Something you'd like to say?"

  She raised her eyebrows and took his challenge. "You should have told me months ago women couldn't own land in the territory."

  "I didn't know! I never had reason to pay attention to the laws about women. I thought if you had the deeds, you had the right to the land. Never occurred to me you'd need a husband to make a proper claim."

  Kate let out a heavy sigh instead of another snappy retort. Fighting wasn't helping.

  "You don't know him like I do." Jake's features softened and he raised his palms in defeat. "He's got one thing on his mind: how to turn any situation around to benefit himself."

  She recalled Jake's similar declaration about Jim. Did he have a problem with men of influence? No, that wasn't true, since he'd spoken so highly of Captain Payette when they'd stopped at Fort Boise on the trail.

  "Trust me, Kate. He's got an ulterior motive for everything he does, including sending us on this waste of time trip." Jake waved his hand across the treed darkness. "He'll feel no guilt, either; he's a proponent of Machiavelli."

  The revelation proved yet again that not only was Theodore cultured and well read, but also shrewd. Perhaps one day Jake would understand what it took to operate a thriving mercantile. And trust in her judgment when it came to doing so.

  She eased her blanket aside and rose from her bedroll. "I'm going to check on the horses."

  Without a backward glance, she crossed camp to where they'd tied out their horses, Nina and Nickel. She reached Nina first. After a thorough check of her shoes and legs, Kate took a brush from her saddlebag and settled in for a much-needed removal of several knots from Nina's forelock.

  About the only thing she had left to be confident in was her ability to nurture and train horses. She certainly had nothing else. She'd been cheated out of a mercantile, had no right to her land, and now she couldn't help but wonder if Jake even saw her as his potential wife. Given what she'd heard from the woman leaning over the saloon's upper balcony railing as they'd entered town, Theodore's warning of Jake's womanizing ways wasn't unreasonable.

  What was she going to do?

  As if sensing her owner's trepidation, Nina lowered her head and pushed her nose against Kate's shoulder in search of a scratch and nuzzle. For the first time that evening, she smiled. Nina was a fine horse, her father's prized mare in fact. He'd chosen her as one of the two horses Jake had allowed her family to bring across the trail. He'd picked her specifically to breed, which would have been the start of a strong line on their horse ranch.

  Kate recalled her father's words when he'd confessed his desire to leave Virginia, cross the trail, and start over.

  We'll start with a general store. We already have the knowledge and the contacts, and with the way people are talking, the next ten years will see more people going west than ever before. After a year or two of certain profits we'll pick out a spread large enough to support a full-scale ranch. Then we'll round up mustang stallions and start a new line with the mares we'll bring with us.

  He'd been so eager, so prepared, so confident of future success.

  New settlers will need supplies. Horses too. Horses from a ranch I can build with my own hands.

  And now Kate faced the real possibility of stabling Nina, Old Dan, and her two packhorses for the winter. Possibly longer. It seemed such a shame to waste precious months, or even years of their lives in a stall. Though even if she could figure out a way to open a mercantile, Kate would feel just as trapped as her caged horses.

  While she'd always enjoyed certain aspects of working in her father's store—bookkeeping and displaying the various wares in an organized, yet pleasing manner—she'd never fully embraced dealing with customers, enforcing deals with vendors, and overseeing deliveries. Or tolerating impudent elites like Theodore. If only she could skip opening the mercantile and move right to ranching!

  No. If it would be possible, her father would have suggested it. He'd been a brilliant businessman who'd meticulously planned everything to the last detail, so it must be a vital step.

  Or was it? Ranching first would mean she'd have to start on a much smaller scale, but eventually, if she worked hard enough, she'd see her father's dream to fruition.

  As she pondered her options, reality sunk in. Passing over the mercantile in favor of building a ranch was an intriguing idea, but right now her most pressing concern was surviving the winter in an unknown land. Without a home. Without squandering her father's money on a hotel room for months, or years, to come.

  Half an hour later, after a needlessly thorough evaluation of both horses, she returned to her bedroll, her shoulders slumped in resignation over how little control she had over her future.

  "All good with the horses?" Jake asked as he tossed a fresh log onto the fire, sending a plume of sparks and smoke into the air.

  She gave a quick, unconvincing nod, thankful the crackle of the rising flames hid her face. She had no desire for Jake to see her trembling chin and looming tears.

  As always, he noticed something was wrong. Within seconds, he'd st
epped around the fire and was crouched at her side.

  "Tell me."

  His simple, whispered request made her long to bury her head against his chest and admit her concerns and fears. She settled for a weak smile and a reluctant shrug.

  "I've survived the ordeal of crossing the trail only to find no schools, no library, and no churches. Sometimes I can't help but wonder, what was my father thinking?"

  "He was giving you his dream," Jake replied.

  "Some dream. A forged deed and land I can't claim."

  She made an elaborate process of removing her father's hat and smoothing back her hair. After the fifth time she tucked loose curls behind her ears, Jake placed his hand upon hers and gave a small squeeze. The tender gesture reminded her of how gentle he'd been on the trail when she'd been so mired in despair. Oh, how she missed her father and brother!

  "Jake, I feel so inept. I wish my father were here to tell me how to fix this. To tell me what to do next." She swiped the tears from her eyes. "I have nothing left but his dreams, and so far I haven't been doing well with them."

  Judging by the vein throbbing in his ruddy throat, he was waging a battle over his next words. Finally, he spoke. "What makes you so certain he'd want you to pursue his dreams instead of your own?"

  The question brought on a fresh rush of emotions that made her blink fast. Even considering abandoning half the plan her father had sacrificed his life for felt like the ultimate betrayal. How could she say the words aloud?

  Chapter Fourteen

  Unflattering Words from a Floundering Fool

  "Katie," Jake whispered, all while fighting the urge to kneel forward and pull her into his arms. "You don't have to be strong all the time. I can help you. Let me help shoulder the burden you're under."

  Instead of confessing her worries, she remained motionless before him, contemplating an inner battle where only she knew the terms.

  Meanwhile, Jake waited and wondered. Why wasn't she telling him the truth? Did she think he wouldn't understand or sympathize with the rotten hand she'd been dealt? Or did her hesitation stem from not knowing what he'd planned for his own future?

 

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