Shielding Kinley

by Susan Stoker

  Kinley studied the man in front of her. He seemed sincere. She didn’t have a lot of experience with men though. Hell, she had no experience with men…except for politicians. And every word out of their mouths was a lie. Pretty words to sway others into supporting them with their vote or with their wallet.

  Gage didn’t seem like that. At all. She wanted to believe him…but he had to understand she wasn’t like most women.

  “I’m a virgin,” she blurted.

  The three words hung in the air between them during a long pause, and Kinley wanted to die. It was what she’d been thinking, but she hadn’t meant to just blurt it out.

  “I mean…I’m not like the women you’ve known in the past. I’m a nerd. I go out and do stuff, but it’s generally by myself and not with friends. But I like being by myself. I don’t get depressed if I sit in my apartment all weekend and don’t do anything or go anywhere. I’m perfectly happy with my own company. Most people think I’m weird. And I am weird. I’m not good with relationships. I never had anyone to watch growing up to show me how they’re supposed to be done. I say the wrong thing all the time—like just now—and I’m embarrassing.

  “I just…I didn’t write you back because I knew after a while, you’d realize exactly how strange I am. Then you’d have to figure out a way to distance yourself from me. I figured I’d wake up one day and realize that I hadn’t heard from you in a while, and when I asked you about it, you’d tell me you’d just been busy and that would be that.”

  Kinley realized she was out of breath by the time she’d finished speaking, in her rush to get the words out, but she wanted to be as honest as possible with Gage. “If you’re spending time with me because you want to sleep with me, it’s not going to happen.”

  “Breathe, Kinley,” Gage said calmly, reaching over and taking her hand in his. “First of all, I’m intrigued by you because you’re not like any woman I’ve known before. I think it’s great that you’re happy with your own company. You don’t need anyone else to validate your likes and dislikes. You are who you are, and that’s really refreshing. I don’t give a fuck if you’re strange. In fact, I like your kind of strange.

  “I’m not going to wake up one day and try to figure out a way to get out of our friendship. Honestly, I figure that you’ll be the one who’ll get tired of me. Kins, it’s more than obvious that you’re smarter than me. You’re nicer, more patient, and most definitely a better person. Why you’d want to even entertain the prospect of being my friend is beyond me, and yet I want that more than I can explain.

  “Also…do you think it’s a turn off that you’re a virgin?” he asked, his tone dropping. “It’s not. But for the record, right now, I just want to be your friend. Am I attracted to you? Yes. But my days of one-night stands are over. I want to get to know a woman before I share my body with her. I want to know what makes her happy, what movies she enjoys. I want to meet her friends and family and feel a bone-deep connection before we hop into bed. Maybe that makes me sound like a pussy, but I don’t care.”

  “I don’t have any friends or family,” Kinley admitted softly. She couldn’t read the expression on his face, but she didn’t want his pity, so she continued on. “I already told you I was an odd duck. I wasn’t lying. I was raised in a series of foster homes and none of the adults ever wanted to adopt me. Probably because I spent most of my time hanging out in my room reading rather than interacting with anyone in the house. I was able to get some scholarships to college—being a foster kid helped with that—and when I left my last foster home, I took all my stuff and never went back…not that I was invited.

  “I spent all my time studying in college, and when I graduated, got a job in DC, thanks to one of my internships. I tried to make some friends, but everyone’s too interested in moving up the political ladder, and I learned, after a few painful mistakes, that in order to have friends, I have to be someone I’m not.” She shrugged. “It was easier to hang out in my apartment by myself.”

  “Listen to me, and listen good,” Gage said, putting a hand on the side of her neck and leaning into her.

  Kinley stilled. His hand on her skin felt good. Really good. Her nipples puckered under her white cotton utilitarian bra, and she was genuinely shocked by her body’s reaction.

  “Are you listening?” he asked, and Kinley could feel his warm breath against her cheek.

  She nodded.

  “I want you to be exactly who you are with me. I like you, Kinley. So you aren’t like other people, who cares? That makes you unique. I’ll share my friends with you. And my family. I don’t have any brothers or sisters, but my parents would love you. I’d say that they’d be happy to adopt you, but the last thing I want is for you to be my sister…even if it’s only on paper.”

  Kinley barely dared to breathe. All she could do was stare into Gage’s brown eyes and wonder how the hell she’d been lucky enough to catch his interest.

  “Just give me a chance,” Gage said. “We’re all strange in our own ways. You know what it is I do, there’ll be times I’ll be out of pocket and can’t communicate with you. It might be a week, or it could be two months. But don’t give up on me, okay?”

  Kinley nodded. “Okay.”

  “I thought I’d done or said something that pissed you off,” Gage continued. “I wracked my brain to try to figure out what it was that I’d done to cause you to ghost me. I hated the feeling…because I like you, Kins. I like your innocence, and I’m not talking about sex—although again, it is not a turn off to know no one has ever touched you before—I’m talking about the way you see the world. It’s as if you see straight to the heart of people. You can see through the bullshit. I think that’s what intrigued me about you from the start. You looked at me and didn’t see a tall, scary soldier, you saw Gage. And no one ever sees me the first time they look at me.”

  “You didn’t say or do anything wrong, it was me,” Kinley said softly.

  “Okay,” Gage said. They stared at each other for a heartbeat before he asked, “You feel it too, don’t you?”

  She’d never heard him sound so unsure before. But she didn’t have to ask him what he meant. She knew. Kinley nodded.

  His thumb brushed against the underside of her jaw once, before he dropped his hand and sat back in his chair. He nudged her arm and said, “Eat up, Kins. We’ve got a lot of walking to do this morning, especially if we’re gonna see everything before I have to get you back to the conference.”

  Kinley picked up the croissant sitting on the plate in front of her, but before she took a bite, she said, “If you want to take another chance and email or message me…I’ll answer.”

  She liked the smile that crossed his face. “I’d like that,” he said simply.

  But for some reason, Kinley couldn’t leave it at that. “Sometimes I forget to check my messages, because it’s not like I have anyone who emails me other than Walter, so if I don’t get back to you right away, don’t think I’m ghosting you again. Okay?”

  “Okay, Kins. I don’t expect you to get back to me within ten seconds or anything. Just don’t shut me out again.”

  “I won’t. I swear.”

  They gazed at each other for another long moment. Kinley felt as vulnerable as she’d ever been. She tried to let Gage see her sincerity. Finally, he nodded then gestured to her food. “Eat, Kinley.”

  “Bossy,” she muttered.

  He grinned. “Yup.”

  Grinning, she ate.

  A few hours later, after visiting the Champs-Élysées and the Arc de Triomphe, taking a few pictures outside the Louvre, and eating macarons until their stomachs hurt, they’d made their way to the Eiffel Tower.

  “Want to go up?” Lefty asked Kinley.

  She had her head tilted back, and she was staring up at the iconic French landmark with wide eyes. “No.”

  “No?” Lefty asked in surprise.

  “No,” she confirmed. “I researched it before I left DC…not that I thought I’d have the chance to
see it up close like this, but…just because. Anyway, the third floor isn’t super big. There’s not much room. I don’t think you’d like it up there and you wouldn’t fit very well at all. And…I don’t like being that close to people. I just…it’s beautiful from down here, I wouldn’t want to ruin that by going to the top and seeing the graffiti that I’m sure is up there.”

  “Okay, Kins. We can stay down here,” Lefty said. He wanted to help her get over her obvious fear of the tower, but in truth, they didn’t have a lot of time to wait in the long line for tickets. He didn’t know if she was scared of heights or if it truly was just being so close to others, but he wanted to help her get over any fears.

  Baby steps, he reminded himself. Today was about Kinley having fun, not banishing all her fears in one day.

  She hadn’t looked away from the tower, and Lefty grinned. He took her elbow and carefully led her to a bench nearby. She sat, still looking up, and Lefty didn’t interrupt her thoughts.

  She was right, she didn’t talk much, but when she did, he always seemed to learn something. She hadn’t wanted to go into the Louvre because she’d said it was the biggest museum in the world and, in order to do it justice, she’d need hours and hours to take it all in. She’d also informed him that a mummy named Belphegor was said to haunt the museum.

  He’d hated hearing that she didn’t have any friends or family, but he didn’t think she’d told him that to gain sympathy. She’d said it in the same matter-of-fact way she’d told him what her favorite restaurant was, that she liked vanilla macarons best, and what she did at her job. For her, it was just a fact of her life, and that made Lefty want to show her what true friendship was all the more. He wanted to introduce her to Gillian, to let her hang out with the other guys on his team, show her that she was likeable and worthy.

  He’d tried hard to block out her admission that she was a virgin, but of course he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He knew she was twenty-nine, and it blew his mind that she hadn’t made love to anyone. The men around her must be complete idiots, which wasn’t exactly a surprise, considering she worked in political circles, but still.

  She’d let a few more things slip as they’d talked over the last few hours, and from what he understood, she’d only had a handful of boyfriends in her life, but as soon as they started pressuring her for more than she wanted to give—whether that was physically, or even socially—she broke things off. She’d admitted it was easier to take care of her own physical needs than have to deal with the men’s egos.

  Lefty knew he’d be lying if he didn’t admit he wouldn’t mind showing Kinley what all the fuss was about regarding sex. But a few hours wasn’t enough to do more than try to cement the connection he felt between them.

  Long-distance relationships sucked, and if he could at least be her friend, Lefty would be okay with that.

  He kept his eyes on Kinley as she stared up at the tower. He had no idea what was going through her mind, and he found that intriguing as hell. He could just ask her what she was thinking, but he was enjoying simply watching her take in the world around her too much to interrupt.

  After another five minutes or so, she blinked then turned her head toward him. “Are you bored?” she asked.

  “Nope,” Lefty told her honestly.

  She frowned. “Most people would be by now.”

  Lefty shrugged. “I’m not most people.” He looked at his watch, then back at her. “We’ve got another two hours before we need to head back to the conference. If you want to spend that time here, staring up at the Eiffel Tower, that’s what we’ll do.”

  “What do you want to do?” she asked.

  “Whatever you want,” Lefty told her without hesitation.

  She wrinkled her brow, and Lefty thought it was adorable as fuck. “You don’t care if I just sit here and don’t talk to you?”

  “Nope.”

  “If I ignore you totally?”

  “Nope,” he said again.

  She made a little sound in the back of her throat, then looked back up at the huge tower in front of them and didn’t say anything else. She scooted her butt down on the seat until her head rested on the bench behind them. Lefty got comfortable next to her.

  Neither said a word, but when Lefty reached over and took her hand in his, she didn’t pull away. If this was Kinley being “weird,” then Lefty decided right then and there that he liked weird. A hell of a lot.

  After another ten minutes of gazing up at the Eiffel Tower, she’d decided she was done. He’d gotten her to stand still long enough so he could take a picture of her in front of it before she’d asked if Notre Dame was too far away. He’d reassured her that it wasn’t, and off they went. They didn’t talk as they walked. Kinley simply took in the sights and sounds around her.

  Lefty wasn’t surprised when, upon arriving at Notre Dame, Kinley stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and simply stared up at the beautiful ancient building. He stood guard, making sure no one bumped into her as she took in the church.

  “I cried when I watched the news clips of it burning,” she said after a moment. “I’m glad the stained glass made it.”

  “Me too,” he said. Then, making a split-second decision, Lefty pulled out his phone. He knew his mom was an early riser. A very early riser. She went to bed around eight at night and got up around four every morning. When he’d told her she was crazy one day, she’d just shrugged and told him she liked mornings because everything was quiet and still.

  Knowing she’d probably be up, even as early as it was in California, he clicked on his mom’s number and put it on speaker. As it rang, he felt Kinley staring at him. He met her gaze as his mom answered.

  “Hey, son. Everything all right?”

  “Yeah, I’m good. I’m in Paris,” he said without preamble.

  “Paris?” his mom breathed. “Please tell me you’re getting to do a bit of sightseeing.”

  Lefty chuckled. “As a matter of fact, I am, which is why I’m calling. I’m going to FaceTime you, that all right?”

  “Of course. It’s not like I’m standing here naked and decided I might as well answer the phone when my only child calls.”

  Lefty chuckled, and he loved the giggle that escaped Kinley’s mouth. He clicked on the button that would let his mom see him.

  “Hey, baby,” his mom said softly when she saw his face.

  “Hey, Mom,” Lefty said. “You look great.”

  She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Always the flatterer,” she accused.

  “You know I never lie,” he said. “Before I get to why I called, I have someone for you to meet.”

  “Gage, no,” Kinley whispered, but he ignored her.

  “Mom, I’d like you to meet Kinley Taylor. Kinley, this is my mom, Molly.”

  “Hello, Kinley,” his mom said as Lefty pulled Kinley into his side so her face would be on the screen with his. “I love your hair! The black color looks positively radiant in the sun.”

  “Um…thanks. I washed it this morning,” Kinley said, and Lefty felt her stiffen as if she was embarrassed over what she’d just blurted out.

  But his mom didn’t miss a beat. “Good for you. I swear I’m addicted to that dry shampoo stuff. Kaden, my husband, has to force me to get in the shower some days.”

  Lefty felt Kinley relax next to him. “I haven’t tried it. Does it really work?”

  “Oh, honey,” his mom said. “Yes. It’s amazing! I’ll have Gage give me your email, and I’ll send you names of the ones that I’ve found work best. They aren’t all made equally, you know.”

  “Thanks,” Kinley said.

  “Anyway, Mom, I wanted to call because we’re standing in front of Notre Dame right now,” Lefty said.

  “You aren’t!” his mom exclaimed.

  Lefty chuckled. “Would I call you from Paris and lie about something like that?”

  “Not if you wanted to live to see tomorrow,” his mom retorted. “Lemme see! I get to see your ugly mug all the time.
I’ve never seen Notre Dame in person.”

  “Just for that, I don’t think I should show you,” he teased. He turned to Kinley. “My mom loves Notre Dame. As long as I can remember, she’s been in love with this building. There were times I thought she loved it more than me when I was growing up. For her birthday one year, I managed to get a buddy who was coming here on assignment to pick up a street artist’s drawing of the cathedral. I thought my mom was gonna die when she opened it.”

  “Shut up,” his mom complained.

  Lefty kept teasing, drawing out the moment for his mom. “She’d planned to come to Paris with Dad one year, but she had to have an emergency appendectomy and they missed it.”

  “Gage,” his mom threatened. “Turn the damn phone around or I swear I’ll tell Kinley about the time you peed your pants while you were waiting in line at Disney to see Mickey Mouse.”

  “I was four,” he told Kinley with a wink. “And Mickey was my hero. Of course I peed my pants.”

  “Gage!” Molly Haskins whined.

  Before he could put his mom out of her misery, Kinley took the phone and turned the camera around, pointing it at the iconic building. “From this angle, you can hardly tell there was a fire,” Kinley told his mom. “Look, the stained glass is almost perfect still.”

  Then, as if she gave tours of Notre Dame all her life, Kinley proceeded to give his mother the thrill of a lifetime by walking around and showing her every little thing.

  Lefty didn’t mind in the least. He loved that his mom and Kinley were bonding over the building. He’d always thought his mother’s obsession with Notre Dame was a little odd, but seeing her love for it being nurtured by Kinley was a gift.

  “And look, you don’t see this in any of the pictures of the chapel,” Kinley said, pointing the phone toward their feet. They were standing in the square in front of the church, looking down at a compass engraved into the stone. “Point zéro des routes de France,” Kinley said, then translated, “point zero of French roads. This exact spot indicates where all distances to and from Paris are measured.”