The Vows We Break

by Briana Cole

  The last thing I remembered was fighting over the gun and blacking out once Tina had delivered a painful blow to my stomach, sending me into early labor. Leo had admitted he had shown up to my rescue and “taken care of Tina” so I wouldn’t have to worry about her again. I had assumed he’d had to kill her, or at least paid to send her far away from Georgia. Maybe even jail. He hadn’t said, and I hadn’t asked questions. I just figured he had stayed true to his word and I wouldn’t ever see her again in this lifetime. But nope. Here she was. And I was damn sure worried.

  Time certainly had changed her physically, but she did carry an eerily familiar look. Her hair was cut short and curly, a pixie cut I’d been wearing for the longest time. She still reeked of luxury with her sleeveless silk blouse and slim-hugging dress pants cropped at the ankle to reveal red-bottom stilettos.

  I peered out from the baby room, watching as she scribbled her name on the sign-out sheet and scooped Leo Jr. into her arms. She exchanged brief pleasantries with Chloe before disappearing, toting a grinning Leo Jr. on her hip.

  “What’s wrong, Kimmy?”

  My mom’s question had startled me because I hadn’t even known she’d come to stand by my side and peer over my shoulder. I hadn’t even realized I’d been staring, debating whether I wanted to follow her and see where she was going. Was she meeting up with Leo?

  “Nothing, Mama,” I lied, turning my back to the door to steal her attention. I had settled on trying to sneak away so I could tail Tina, but my mom quickly intercepted that plan as if she knew my sneaky thoughts.

  “Come upstairs and let’s go through some of those files in the storage,” she said, resting Jamaal in a nearby crib. “JayJay will be fine here with Chloe.”

  And that had been the end of it. I had been tempted to ask my mom about Tina, but I didn’t want to raise her suspicions. I would have to do my own digging. Now that I knew Tina was around and in such close proximity, I was revaluating everything. My dad’s sickness, the fire, the paternity test, the phone calls. Maybe it wasn’t Leo after all. It was her. And that thought frightened me. Leo I could perhaps manage. With Tina there was no consideration of trying to contain or control the situation, or working the odds to fall in my favor. The bitch had tried her damnedest to have me convicted of murder, and then she herself had tried to kill me. There was no type of limit on what she was willing to do to get what she wanted. Now here was the dilemma. What did she want?

  I tried to keep from harping on that, but as the week ended and the sun rose on Saturday, I would be lying if I said the shit still wasn’t riding heavy on my mind.

  I hadn’t slept much at all and apparently neither had Jahmad. The clock read a quarter until seven, but the shower was already running behind the closed bathroom door.

  I rolled over to where JayJay was now stirring. He had been so fussy last night that I had risen and brought him in to sleep between me and Jahmad. Apparently his weariness had caught up with him, because he whined a bit before he was again letting out a gentle snore.

  My mind flipped for a brief moment to the DNA test still stuffed in an inside pocket of my purse. I had done some research because I knew getting permission for a sample from Jahmad was out of the question. I could use a special sample, like his toothbrush. No, it wasn’t quite as conclusive, and yes, it would require some more money, but hell, what other choice did I have?

  I heard the water stop, and a few minutes later, Jahmad emerged, still wet, a towel slung low over his hips. He stopped, almost in surprise, when he saw I was awake.

  “Good morning,” he murmured, heading to the dresser.

  I sat up against the headboard, taking care not to move the mattress too much to keep from waking the baby. “You headed to work?”

  “No, not today,” he said simply.

  I sighed, this time easing from the bed. I walked up behind Jahmad and circled my hands around his waist, rested my cheek on his wet back. “Jay, can we please talk?”

  “Kimera, we—” The irritation was already in his voice, so I quickly changed tactics.

  “Okay, we don’t have to talk now,” I said quickly. “How about we do something together today? Just me, you, and JayJay? I feel better now that my mom has taken him out the house so maybe we could go somewhere for a few hours. Have some lunch. Just enjoy each other.”

  For a brief moment, I felt the tension in Jahmad’s spine. Slowly, very slowly, he seemed to relax, and finally he turned, placing his hands on my shoulders. His smile was tiny, but a smile nonetheless. To my surprise, he agreed. “Sounds good,” he said. “Let me make a quick call first.” He paused for a moment, then added, “And you’re right. It’s time we talk. Later.”

  I nodded as he strolled back into the bathroom, I was assuming to talk in private so as not to wake the baby. It sounded like he had made a decision. Good or bad, I didn’t know

  But I would try not to think about it. Just enjoy the day with him. That might be the one of the last times we had together.

  * * *

  I knew it had been too good to be true. I pretended to be completely engrossed in feeding Jamaal while I not so subtly watched Jahmad text someone on his phone. Whoever it was, they were certainly persistent, because I’d counted him ignoring seven notifications before he finally responded.

  I watched his face for any signs of, hell, I couldn’t even be sure what I was looking for. Excitement? Glee? Lust? But he just kept his eyebrows drawn and face blank as his fingers played across the phone’s touchscreen keyboard. In my arms, Jamaal’s eyes drooped, and when I felt the bottle go slack, I gently pulled the nipple from his lips.

  It had started out well. We had decided to grab some brunch to go from IHOP and eat it lakeside in the park. We had shared a few laughs and exchanged a few calm pleasantries in the serenity of the park, but to be honest, that was just as fulfilling to me.

  When we got in the car, I expected him to steer it in the direction of the house, but instead he had detoured to the mall. “Let’s get a few more things for Jay,” he had suggested lightly.

  “As if he needs anything else,” I teased, thinking now on the nursery closet jam-packed with diapers, wipes, clothes, and other essentials to last well into his toddler years, I was sure. But I didn’t object when we pulled into the mall parking lot.

  We had strolled in and out of stores, alternating between toting the carrier. We didn’t get much shopping done before the baby got fussy and we detoured into the food court so I could change and feed him.

  Now we sat at one of the tables while I struggled to ignore Jahmad’s distraction. I swallowed my temper and tried my best to keep the air between us light. “Everything okay?”

  Jahmad glanced up and scanned the crowd, clearly looking for someone. “Yeah, I think a friend of mine is supposed to be here.” He rose, spotting the person, and my eyes grew in recognition.

  The woman who had come by the house. The mystery woman whom I thought had stopped by for me. She still had the big hair, her petite frame accented by another professionally sexy business skirt suit. The same heels she’d worn to the house were again on her feet, bringing her height to Jahmad’s shoulder. But more than when she came to my house, something else was familiar about this woman, and the fact I knew I’d seen her before had suspicion marring my face so strongly I could almost taste it. Friend? What the hell kind of friend? And why was this chick wearing a business suit in the mall? The fact that she was outshining me in my casual black leggings and oversized knee-length button-up shirt had me even more irritated.

  “Hey!” The woman was a little too excited and too much in Jahmad’s face for my comfort as they shared a friendly hug. “I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to catch you again before my flight.”

  Jahmad turned to me, gesturing toward the woman. “Kimmy, you remember CeeCee, don’t you?”

  And then it hit me like a sucker punch to the gut. CeeCee. Jahmad’s ex-fiancée CeeCee. The one he’d left for me. I blinked back my shock, slowly feeling it begin to
boil to rage. What in the entire hell was going on here?

  “It’s good to see you again.” CeeCee spoke up first, her smile spreading as she clearly saw the pieces clicking into place. “Kimmy, right?”

  “Kimera,” I snapped and turned my attention back to Jahmad. I’m sure every bit of my emotions were playing across my face, but Jahmad didn’t seem fazed. Or at least he didn’t show it.

  “CeeCee had to come to town on business,” he offered at my continued silence.

  “And you know I couldn’t leave without seeing you again.” She nudged his arm, somewhat flirtatiously. “And this little handsome guy here. Hi, JayJay. I’ve heard so much about you,” she cooed. I rolled my eyes. The bitch was clearly pulling every trick to get under my skin. And it was working.

  I readjusted my body to shield my son from her gushing. “Let me go change him,” I said, putting the diaper bag on my shoulder. It was a lie, a clear one considering I had just changed Jamaal and now he was good and asleep. But hell, I’d make up some excuse about needing to change my damn self if it meant getting out of this otherwise awkward interaction.

  I escaped to the bathroom, allowing a good twenty-seven minutes and thirty-three seconds to pass before I reemerged. Just as I hoped, little Miss CeeCee was gone and Jahmad now sat alone, fumbling on his phone with one hand and sipping a smoothie with his other.

  I didn’t even sit. “We need to go,” I said. “Now.” Not bothering to wait for a response, I walked briskly to the exit. I felt my steps damn near burning a hole in the floor and I knew I needed to hurry and get to some privacy before I exploded. CeeCee’s words were on rewind in my head, like some kind of taunt. Couldn’t leave without seeing Jahmad again? Heard so much about my son? That was some karma for my ass.

  “Care to explain that shit?” I started in on Jahmad as soon as we made it back home and I had laid JayJay in his crib. I now stood in front of Jahmad as he sat on the bed, fumbling with his shoes.

  “Nothing to explain.”

  “Oh, really?” I folded my arms across my chest, bracing myself to keep from trembling. “You expect me to believe your ex-fiancée just so happened to be in the mall? The mall you suggested? That’s some bullshit-ass coincidence.”

  “I didn’t say it was a coincidence,” he said. “Yeah, I told her she could meet us there. She had some time to waste because her flight was delayed.”

  “So apparently you’ve spent time with her since she’s been here.”

  “What’s wrong with that?”

  “She’s your ex for a reason, Jahmad.” Frustration had me dragging out each word like I was speaking to a first-grader. Was he clearly clueless, or just feigning his ignorance to get a rise out of me?

  Jahmad rose and pulled his shirt over his head. I ignored the fact he was now standing in front of me half naked. At least I tried to ignore it. My body certainly wasn’t.

  “She was helping me, Kimmy,” he finally admitted wearily. “It’s not what you think.”

  “Oh, really?” I said doubtfully.

  “There is nothing between me and CeeCee anymore,” he reiterated, his eyes sharp on mines. He could have very well been telling the truth. But I was no dumb bitch. And it was clear, more than clear that CeeCee didn’t feel their relationship was as innocent as he was alleging. And that was a big problem for me.

  Not able to stand still anymore, I began to pace, my feet moving across the carpet in rapid succession. “Helping you with what? That’s what you have me for.”

  “It’s different.” Jahmad’s sigh was heavy. “You don’t know this, but CeeCee and I met while I was in Texas. We worked together. I came back to Atlanta because she got a promotion within the company and me, well, I took a little pay cut. It was a mutual agreement. Well, after we split, she went back to Texas, but we kept in touch. Just settled into a friendship.”

  I wanted to tell him he was stupid as hell if he thought CeeCee was just content with being friends after she was about to marry the man, but I just remained quiet.

  As if reading my mind, Jahmad said, “She just wants to see me happy, even if it’s not with her. She loves me that much.” I winced. Was that a shot at me? I ignored it, for now.

  “Okay, so now what?” I pressed.

  “Well, she was the one that recommended me for the Texas promotion. So while she was here on business, we were just trying to hash out the pros and cons. That’s it.”

  My legs suddenly felt weak, and I sank to the bed. So that was her game? Wanted to get him back out to Texas and back into her arms. Well, I’ll be damned. Smooth. Real smooth.

  “But she’s ‘baby,’ in your phone.” I hadn’t wanted to reveal my discovery, but what he said was making entirely too much sense. And shit, now I felt stupid for thinking otherwise.

  He nodded. “That’s my fault,” he admitted. “I’ve just never changed it from when we were together before. But I swear it doesn’t mean anything.”

  I sighed, detecting every ounce of his genuineness. “Well,” I asked, my eyes closing, “what did you decide about the job? Texas?” Me? I held my breath, anticipating his answer.

  I heard him move, and suddenly his presence was in front of me, the light remnants of his cologne tickling my nose.

  “Look at me, Kimmy.” Jahmad’s gentle voice prompted the first few tears to trickle from my lids. I felt his hand caress my face, and obediently I opened my eyes, tears blurring my vision.

  “I’m not going,” he said, gently swiping his thumb over my face to smear my tears into my cheek.

  I nodded, relief coursing through my body, and I leaned in to kiss him. I thought he would stop me, but instead he deepened the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, savoring every moment. It had been so long. Too damn long. But this man had my body responding on demand, waking up parts that had been put to rest a long time ago.

  “I love you,” I murmured, my words muffled against his lips.

  Jahmad pulled back, temporarily cupping my face in his hands. “I love you too,” he said.

  “And us?”

  He stared at me for a moment longer, searching my eyes for something. “Is there anything you need to tell me, Kimera?” he asked.

  My heart quickened. Did he know something? Was this a setup? Some kind of trick question with the future of us hanging in the balance like a pendulum?

  I took a deep breath, mustering as much sincerity in my words as I could. “No.” I kept my eyes level. “Nothing.”

  “No more lies, Kimera,” he said, his voice firm with the request. “No more secrets. If we’re going to work on us, we both are going to be all in. Me included. Can you promise me that?”

  I nodded, already regretting the lies as they fell from lips, compounding on top of each other like a Jenga game waiting to collapse and break. Leo, Tina, the baby, and now CeeCee. It seemed every aspect of my life was one big lie. But still, I voiced what he wanted, no, needed, to hear. “No more secrets,” I vowed. “No more lies. Just us, Jahmad.”

  He smiled his satisfaction, and I moaned as he lifted me in his arms and carried me to the bed.

  I had to admit, perhaps it was because of me that we had been fighting so much these past few months. I had washed my hands of Leo and I was ready to dive in headfirst with Jahmad now that I had, supposedly, left everything in the past. To me, it was as if none of that bullshit from before had ever happened. I was pressuring him, I knew. He wasn’t ready and, dammit, I wanted him to be ready, because I was. But as he had so clearly expressed on more than one occasion, he had trust issues. I guess I shouldn’t have felt so hurt about his considering the Texas job because, honestly, he had those trust issues because of me. But, hell, so did I.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered, resting his forehead on mine.

  My eyes fluttered open. “For what?”

  “I guess I was just scared,” he admitted. “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t up to that same stuff from the past. I was scared to give up my life if you weren’t all in.”


  I pressed my lips against his, pushing every ounce of passion I felt into the kiss.

  “I am all in,” I murmured. At least that part was true.

  He laid me down, the sheets cool against my back, sunlight spilling through the blinds and casting us both in a hazel glow. His touch was soft as he began undressing me. My skin felt like it was on fire, and I wanted him so bad my body was throbbing in tune to my quickening heartbeat. Jahmad took his time, replacing his fingers with his lips, then tongue. He moved slowly, delicately, like we had forever.

  “Jahmad.” His name seeped through my lips in a quivering whisper as he gingerly spread my legs. I grimaced at the initial shot of pain, slowly opening as he worked his way in inch by inch. And soon, the pleasure pierced my insides and left me startled, gasping for mercy.

  His moan filled my ear as I opened for him, wrapping my legs around his waist, clinging to him like a lifeline. And when we both came, it felt like the first time, and my body trembled as I fell in love with him again. We were starting over. This was us, and I was ready to give myself completely, openly, and honestly. Well, for the most part, I reconsidered as we lay cuddled together, spent, our skin slick with our juices an hour later.

  Noting he had fallen asleep, I quietly pulled from his loving embrace and rummaged through my purse on the dresser, the sunlight spilling onto the DNA test. I took one quick look at him and ripped open the box, praying this would solve our problems. And not add to them.

  Chapter 13

  I turned into my subdivision and had a brief moment of panic when I spotted the police car in my driveway. Hell, I was already on edge because I had had to leave the house this morning so I could drop the paternity test off at the post office under the excuse that I was running to the grocery store to get some breakfast food. Now the two Publix bags in my front seat validated my story, but my anxiety had kicked in as I’d dropped the package in its return envelope in the mailbox. Especially because Jahmad and I had made up, repeatedly, last night and this morning. And I’d vowed to be upfront and honest with him. So it was guilt that had me picking out all his breakfast favorites along with an “I love you” card, though it really didn’t make me feel any better.