Sinful Truth (Sinful Truths Book 1)
Page 20
Zeke rests his forehead against mine as we breathe into each other’s mouths. I see and feel the pained expression on his face. It’s the same one I wear.
I’m so confused.
He is too.
What are we doing?
No, better question—what is he doing? If he wants me, then he has the power to take me. To force me. To take what he wants from me. He paid for it. So what’s stopping him from taking it?
I don’t want him to take anything. Being raped by a man I kinda, sorta find attractive is still a horrible experience. It’s still rape. It will still top my list of worst nights.
I reach down between our legs, and find his dick, squeezing hard.
He howls and shoves me hard against the wall, forcing me to release my grip.
I’ve awakened the beast with my touch. I can see it in his eyes. I wanted to know who he really is—this is it.
This man standing before me, with long, wild hair. An untamed beard. Tattoos covering as many scars as muscle. A ripped body he used to torture, rape, and kill. Life-taking hands. And a brain filled with dirty thoughts about me since the second he bought me.
That’s who he is. And he’s one push away from acting on it. From proving me right—that he’s a monster.
Zeke sees into my mind. He reads my thoughts. And he takes back control.
“What did Julian do to you to make you so scared of him? What did he do to you before?”
I shake my head. “Playing this game doesn’t make you any less of a monster. You’ve wanted to rape me ever since you bought me; just because you’ve earned the right to commit a sin doesn’t make you any less of a sinner.”
“Answer the question, and I won’t get to sin.”
I grit my teeth together. This is the moment. The moment where the truth mixes with sin. This is the moment where I find out the truth of who Zeke really is.
How do I want to learn the truth about him? By speaking my own truth? Or letting him sin?
I’m not ready to share my secret, not until he’s spilled his first.
But if I choose sin, will I forever feel guilty for him raping me? Because I gave him the power to do it?
No, I won’t. If I choose sin, it doesn’t give him permission to violate me in that way. Even if I choose sin, I will still fight back. I won’t let him get that far.
“Sin,” I answer.
His eyes gloss over with that single word. He needed, and feared, that answer.
Your move, big guy. Your move. Let’s see what you got. Because I’m about to castrate you.
My legs are still wrapped around his waist. I’m still gripping his shoulders, but that doesn’t mean I’ve given him permission to fuck me.
Maybe if he asked first, but he won’t.
He makes a decision in an instant; then he’s carrying me through the foyer. I assume he’s going to take me to the bedroom, but he doesn’t. He takes me to the living room.
Huh? Not a bed kind of guy? Or does he not want to bother having to change the sheets after the ensuing bloody battle?
He finds the large ottoman in the center of the room, kneels in front of it, and sets my ass down on the edge.
“Lean back,” he says.
I frown. If he thinks I’m just going to lay back and take it, he’s crazy.
“I said, lay back,” his voice deeper, more powerful than before.
I fall back automatically.
Shit, now what?
I slip my hand slowly in the back pocket of my jeans and grab the knife I hid there. I hold it to my back as he unbuttons my jeans and slowly slides them over my hips, then down my body.
I purse my lips and breathe out slowly. I’ve got this—he won’t touch me without getting castrated.
Next, he grabs my lacy panties. He takes his time undressing me.
And then I’m naked.
I close my eyes, trying to calm myself. He’s still not undressed, so I have time before he fucks me. He’s a slow, gentle giant. He won’t speed up just to rape you. He’s waited this long. He’s a patient man; he’ll wait until he’s good and ready.
I grip the knife tighter, preparing myself.
I feel his hands on my inner thighs; he gently spreads me apart.
This is it—the moment I need to attack before he does something he can’t take back.
“Siren?” he asks.
My eyes open and look at him.
He smirks at me, but his eyes say something else. They ask for permission.
Permission for what?
His eyes dip down, and I realize what he’s about to do. His jeans are still on. His hands have my legs spread, and his face is positioned just over my pussy, ready to devour me.
He wants to fuck me with this mouth, not rape me. That’s his sin—giving me pleasure.
I blink several times, completely confused.
How could this be? How is he this guy, not the monster? Or is he only this guy when he’s around me? And he’s a monster around everyone else?
Zeke hovers over me, waiting for some sign of permission. Technically he never asked with words, but we’ve never needed words to communicate.
Yes—no.
How do I decide? My body is begging me to let him kiss me there. I already know it will be the most explosive orgasm of my life. But is that giving in? Being weak? I shouldn’t—
But I feel my hips move up on their own accord.
Zeke grins broader before he licks his lips.
Wait, I didn’t answ—
His tongue licks over my slit, and I realize my hips made a much better choice than my brain would. One stroke of his tongue and I’m his. I don’t care what he’s done. I don’t care how evil his heart is. I don’t care how many people he’s killed or how many lives he’s stolen.
Feeling his tongue between my legs, over my most sensitive area while he kneels in front of me, expecting nothing from me in return, is everything I’ve ever wanted in a man.
And god is it sexy to see him giving instead of taking from me.
I lean up on my elbows so I can watch him lick me. At first, he’s slow, so achingly slow. But it only intensifies everything. I can feel every lick, flick, and breath coming from his mouth.
And then he narrows in on my clit.
Too much. My legs close in around his head.
He grins as he licks over my clit more, and his hands slowly spread me wide for him again.
“I think your clit likes my tongue,” he says.
“Mmm,” is my response.
“Keep your legs spread, or I’ll stop,” he commands.
I frown. That’s an impossible task, but I see why he commands it from me. He removes one hand from my leg and puts two of his fingers in his mouth before I feel them pushing at my entrance.
I tighten at first, resisting anything entering. It’s been a long time, too long.
He removes one finger and tries again, being so slow and patient with me, waiting until my body accepts him before he pushes.
He licks faster, moving out of his usual slow movements for me. I arch, my muscles relax, and his finger glides inside me.
“Fucking, wow,” I get out.
“If you think that was good, just wait. I’m about to have you screaming and cursing my name.”
I like his promise. And I can’t wait for him to deliver on it.
He slides his finger out, and I curse the emptiness I feel. I want him inside me—more than just his finger, but I’m not ready to tell him that yet.
He starts pushing in again, but this time a second finger joins in. I feel an intense tightness as he pushes further.
“Relax, baby,” he whispers over my clit, licking faster.
I look at his eyes. They scream, begging—trust me.
I do. Fuck, I do.
I let go.
Of my expectations.
My fears.
My observations.
My pain.
My truth.
I’m just here, with a man doing incredible th
ings to my body.
As soon as I let go, Zeke takes complete control. His fingers thrust inside me with expert ability. His tongue licks and nips at my clit. And his eyes promise me the world.
Our eyes lock until I can’t look at him any longer. Everything is too intense.
And then I explode all at once, throwing my head back and clamping my eyes closed. My back arches, my toes curl, and my legs tighten around his head. My pussy clenches down in a ripple of throbs, releasing my orgasm on his fingers.
What. Just. Happened?
My brain seems to thaw, and my first thought is blissful bewilderment.
I smile up at the world, because for the first time, it brought me something good. Even if it was only supposed to last for this short time, I wouldn’t trade a single bad thing in my life if it meant giving up these few minutes with Zeke.
I hear him moving.
I sit up, and then he’s draping a throw blanket over my shoulders. He scoops me up, and we move to the couch before he sets me down on his lap.
His eyes drop down to my lap.
Mine follow.
“Oh, um…” I start, trying to explain why I’m gripping a knife.
He chuckles. “If you castrate me, I deserve it.” He leans forward and kisses my forehead sweetly. I can smell myself on his breath. Jesus, I smell delicious on his face.
I expect him to try and take the knife from me; he doesn’t.
Slowly, I come back to life. To the real world. And he just gave me the most beautiful sin. It felt dirty, wrong, but oh-so-delightful.
I consider thanking him, but it doesn’t feel right, so I don’t. But I do have my question. I know what I want to ask him.
“Who are you, Zeke? A beast or a monster?”
He tucks my hair behind my ear as he grips my neck, stroking me with his thumb.
“Is there a difference?” he asks hesitantly, afraid I’ll say no.
“Yes.”
He nods and then leans back against the couch. I tighten the blanket around me. I hold my breath, waiting for his answer. Will he choose beast or monster? If he says monster, there is no saving him. He’s cruel down to the bone. And this ends here.
But if he says beast, it will give me hope. Beauty was able to tame the beast in the end. The beast had a heart. The beast could still love, even though he sometimes did cruel things. And that makes all the difference to our future.
“Sometimes, I’m afraid that I’m a monster.”
I suck in a breath—dammit.
“But after spending time with you, I’ve realized I’m a beast.”
I smile—yes, my beast. My gentle giant. My anchor, keeping me calm and protected while I wait out the storm.
I got my answer.
But Zeke doesn’t stop there. He tells me his whole truth.
“I lived in Miami. I was born in New York, but I moved to Miami shortly after. I worked for…”
No. Please, no. Don’t say it.
“Enzo Black. He was my best friend and boss. We mainly handled security and created super-yachts for our rich clients. But during my time with him, I did horrible things. I stole, threatened, killed. But every time it was to protect my boss, my friends.”
No…my heart is breaking.
“I almost died saving them.”
No, no, no.
He tucks a finger under my chin.
I can’t breathe.
“Until you. You saved me.”
I exhale. I can’t do this.
“I owe my life to you, not Julian.”
But I have to.
“So when we met again, when your life was threatened to be taken, about to be sold, I knew what I had to do. I had to save you.”
My heart shatters with his words. Because a part of me hoped he was cruel. Hoped I was wrong about him. Pleaded he didn’t buy me to protect me.
“Maybe I did it the wrong way. I should have told you the truth sooner. But I bought you to save you, to protect you from the other men.”
Zeke is a good person. He’s my protector. My savior. I just wish I could say the same thing about myself.
“At first, I couldn’t tell you the truth. Julian had everything bugged. He could listen to our conversations, but I removed all the eavesdropping devices.”
I close my eyes as tears fall—warm, wet, salty tears.
Zeke being Zeke, the amazing man he is and I always suspected was beneath his shell, wipes my tears away.
“Now, I can complete my promise. Now, I can save you.”
There is so much promise in his words—so much genuine affection. I swear I even see a hint of love in his eyes when he looks at me.
And it hurts, god does it hurt.
I swallow back my tears, wiping them on the back of my hand.
Because just like that, my high crashes down.
My world ends.
Whatever we had for a splitting moment is over.
Zeke finally spilled his truth.
Which means it’s my turn to spill mine.
Mine is half-truth, half-sin. Mine is going to fucking hurt—leave a permanent scar where our hearts once were.
But I no longer have a choice between truth or sin. Now I must do both.
28
Zeke
One second, I’m spilling my heart to her, one word away from saying I love her, and the next Siren has me pinned to the floor.
She’s naked still, and I’m only wearing my jeans, but the move isn’t sexual. It isn’t foreplay. It fucking hurts.
She’s straddling me at the waist, with one of my arms pinned above my head, and her knife at my throat.
My eyes widen, searching for truth in her tear-stained eyes. If she could pull a move like this the entire time, why didn’t she? How did she let men kidnap her in the first place? Why didn’t she fight harder against Julian? Against me before now?
I breathe heavily, about to move my free hand when she presses the knife deeper into my neck.
“I’m so sorry,” Siren whispers as one tear falls.
I frown. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
She shakes her head, barely holding herself together while physically stronger than I’ve ever seen her. I notice new muscles in her arms. Her thighs clench my waist hard, holding me down.
“Zeke, I—” Siren starts.
Lone, slow clapping cuts her off.
Siren doesn’t look, she just closes her eyes tightly and takes a deep breath as if preparing herself.
I cut my eyes toward the sound.
Julian Reed.
What the fuck is he doing here now?
My eyes look up at Siren, who is still pouring herself into me. Whatever she is pissed at me for will have to wait, we have bigger fish to fry.
Apparently, she disagrees or doesn’t read my face, because she doesn’t release the knife or let me up.
“Good job, Aria,” Julian says.
Siren’s head drops.
I look from her to Julian.
“What?” I whisper to Siren. “What did he just call you?”
She swallows. “By my name,” she says solemnly.
My mouth falls. Siren isn’t her real name—Aria is.
Julian walks over to us, looking down at the situation.
“So you work for Enzo Black, huh?” he asks.
I don’t answer. Instead, I glare back.
He smirks. “You thought you had removed all the bugs from the house.” He laughs and pets Aria’s head. “You didn’t know I had a plant on the inside switching all the bugs back on as soon as you thought you had disconnected them.”
What?
Siren drops her head in disgust but doesn’t dispute him.
“She works for me,” Julian says, finishing the missing pieces of the puzzle.
“And she’s gotten me all the information I needed. You would have never told me who you worked for. And it’s even better than I imagined. You work for the great Enzo Black.” Julian’s eyes grow greedy. “And now I have the
key to bringing Mr. Black down.”
“I will never help you,” I growl.
He laughs. “I think you will. I got you to spill all your secrets to my beauty here; I think I can convince you to do just about anything.”
I look up at Siren, no Aria, and my passion for her has been swapped for anger. She betrayed me. I trusted her. I could have loved her.
“What does he have over you? Why are you working for him?” I ask, pleading Siren, giving her one more chance to tell me differently.
“Because of what he gives me,” she answers.
Julian laughs. “You think I force her? Aria is in complete control of her life. I could never force her to do anything she didn’t want to do.”
I frown, but I see the truth on her face.
Julian looks to Aria. “Lock him up. We have more work to do taking down Enzo Black.”
“Yes, sir,” she answers, not moving as Julian leaves the two of us.
“You lied to me,” I say.
She shakes her head. “I never lie. I always tell the truth.”
“Then explain this! You even lied about your name.” I spit back.
“I never said ‘siren’ was my name, just who I was. You took it to mean what you wanted.”
“That’s still a lie.”
“No, it’s lying while telling the truth. I warned you. I’m a siren. I lure men to their deaths. You just didn’t heed the warning.”
She’s right. I didn’t.
“You thought I was a monster this whole time?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “I hoped, because then this wouldn’t be so bad. But I knew in my heart you weren’t. That’s why I created this plan. I knew you wouldn’t be able to let me be sold to another man.”
I frown.
“But you aren’t a saint. You sold those women,” she spits in my face, her face red and angry, trying to rationalize her actions against me now.
I shake my head. “I didn’t sell them. I made sure they were safe. Every. Single. One.”
Her eyes widen in pain.
Good, she deserves it.
“I could have saved you too,” I whisper.
“Not when I didn’t want to be saved.”
“Did Julian hurt you? Is that why you work for him?”
She doesn’t answer at first. But then she answers with her actions. I don’t know how such a tiny body packs such a big hit. I’m seeing stars before I realize she’s punched me. And I’m in handcuffs before I try to strike back.