The Chaplain of the Fleet

by Walter Besant

  CHAPTER XII.

  HOW KITTY EXECUTED THE DOCTOR'S REVENGE.

  The Doctor seldom transacted business before nine o'clock in themorning, unless, as sometimes happened, a spirited apprentice, a ladof mettle, came with his master's daughter, both stealing away atseven, before the master and mistress were up, when she was supposedto be attending morning prayers at church, or helping Molly the maidwith the mop, and he was expected to be cleaning out the shop anddressing the window. The ceremony over, they would go home again, butseparately, young miss carrying her Prayer-book before her as demure asa kitten, looking as if she had never heard of a Fleet marriage, andwas ignorant of the great Doctor Shovel, chaplain, yea, bishop of thatplace; while the boy, with brush and broom and watering-can, would bezealously about his master's work when that poor man--his morning dishof chocolate or pint of small ale despatched--appeared in the shop forthe conduct of the day's affairs. Afterwards they could choose theirown time for declaring what had been done. Thus did the Doctor make ormar the fortunes of many a bold prentice-boy.

  This morning the Doctor awoke from sleep at seven or thereabouts,having in four hours slept off the punch and tobacco in his arm-chair.His face became almost benign in its thoughtful kindliness as heremembered the guest lying asleep upstairs, and what he was about to dofor him. He rose, shook himself, opened the windows and doors, and wentout into the market, still in his nightcap, carrying his wig in onehand and his silk handkerchief in the other.

  The market was already crowded with purchasers, principally those whobuy a barrowful of fruit and vegetables, and bawl through the streetsuntil all is sold. But there was a good sprinkling of maids andhousewives buying provisions for the day. The morning was fresh, with alittle autumn fog, and the sun shining through it like a great yellowdisk; the waggons stood about with their loads of cabbages, carrots,parsnips, potatoes, apples, plums, and sloes, waiting till they couldbe discharged; on the heaped-up pile of fruits and vegetables you couldsee hanging still the slender threads and cobwebs which are spun everynight in autumn time by invisible spiders, and appear in the morningstrung with beads of dew.

  "Stand aside!" cried the stall-keepers, one and all. "Make way for theDoctor! Don't you see the Doctor? Room for the Doctor!"

  He walked magisterially to the pump, under which he held his bare headfor a few moments while a boy pumped the cold water over him. Thisdone, he shook his head, mopped his poll with his silk handkerchief,clapped on his wig, and returned to his own house, his robesmajestically floating around him.

  The market, proud of its Doctor, made way for him with salutations andinquiries after his reverence's health.

  At the house he found his two runners waiting for him, as fresh--ifpale cheeks and red noses can look fresh--as if they had not been upuntil two o'clock in the morning.

  He sent for a pint of small ale, and began to consider what next.

  "Roger," he said, "canst thou, at the present moment, lay thy hand upona woman willing to be a bride, either in the prison or elsewhere?"

  Roger hesitated.

  "It depends, your reverence, on the bridegroom. About Tower steps, forinstance, and down Wapping way, there are brides in plenty to be pickedup for the asking."

  "Not brides for me, Roger. Think again. I want a bride who wants ahusband, and not a sailor's money; who will stick to her husband andmake him as happy in his wedded life as you and the rest of mankind areor have been."

  Roger grinned. He was himself a widower, and could be tickled with thejoke.

  "I think I know the very woman," he said. "A young widow----"

  "Good," said the Doctor.

  "She has been extravagant, and is in debt----"

  "Very good," said the Doctor.

  "A prisoner in the Fleet; but I can fetch her out in a twinkling, forhalf-a-crown."

  "Ay--ay," said the Doctor. "Go on, honest Roger. A widow, extravagant,and in debt. That promises well."

  "Her husband was an honest draper in Gracechurch Street, who latelydied of smallpox, leaving her a good business and a thousand pounds inmoney. She hath already squandered the thousand, wasted the business,and brought herself to ruin. She is comely, and is but thirty years ofage; to get out of the Fleet, I think she would marry the----"

  "She shall marry better than that, Roger. Go fetch her here: tellher to come and talk with me, and that if she pleases me in herconversation and appearance, she may shortly marry a gentleman."

  "This," said the Doctor, when his man was gone, "will be a good strokeof business. This shall be his punishment. My lord shall marry thisextravagant slut. No paltry common revenge this. Just punishment forthe first generation. He will gain a pocketful of debts and a wifewho will stick to him like a leech. Aha!--a city wench--none ofyour proud city madams, grand enough to be a countess--but a plaintradesman's widow, with no ideas beyond a dish of tea, Bagnigge Wells,strawberries at Bayswater, cakes at Chelsea, or at the best, a nightof wonder-gaping at the quality at Vauxhall; a wife of whom he will beashamed from the very first. This is good business. What a pity! what athousand pities that his noble father is no more!"

  The Doctor laughed and rubbed his hands. Then he mounted the stairsagain, and entered his bedroom. The lad was still sound asleep; hischeeks less red, and his breathing lighter.

  "His head will ache," said the Doctor. "I fear he is unaccustomedto punch. When he wakes his limbs will feel like lead: his throatwill feel like a limekiln; his tongue will be furred like the backof a squirrel; his eyes will be hot and heavy, as if he had a fever;his hand will shake like the hand of a palsied man; he will totterwhen he tries to walk. Ah! cursed drink! Time was when I, who am nowas seasoned as a port-wine cask, or a keg of Nantz, would feel thesame when I awoke after such a night. Age brings its consolations."He rubbed his hands, thinking that he could now drink without thesesymptoms. "I will marry him," he continued, "while he is yet halfdrunk. When he recovers, it will be time to explain the position ofthings. Should I explain, or should his wife? Ho! ho! A draper's widow,of Gracechurch Street, to marry the heir of all the Chudleighs!"

  He stood over the bed again, and passed his hand lightly over thesleeping boy's cheeks. Something in his looks touched the Doctor, andhis eyes softened.

  "Poor lad! I never had a son. Perhaps, if there had been one, thingswould have been different. He is a very handsome boy. Pity, after all,that he must marry this jade, this extravagant wench who will wasteand scatter his patrimony, and likely bring him to shame, when, beingso young, so handsome, and so rich, he might have had the prettiestgirl in the country"--here he started--"might have had--might havehad--can he not have? Is there a prettier girl or a better-bred girlanywhere in the land than Kitty Pleydell? What more can any man want?she is of gentle blood--on one side at least, for the Shovels, it isvery certain, do somewhat smack of the soil. Never a Shovel, exceptthe Reverend Gregory Shovel, Doctor of Divinity, who hath risen togreatness. Clods all. Here is a great chance for such a revenge aswould have driven the old lord mad, and will be a blessing and aboon to the young lord. Ho! ho! my Lord Breaker of Promises, my LordTrampler of Dependents, my Lord Villain and Rogue, how likes yourlordship that your son should marry my niece? As for you, young spark,I will give you a bride so sweet, so fair, so fresh, that by heavens!you ought to woo her for a twelvemonth, and then go and hang yourfoolish neck by a garter because she would not say yea. Well, well!let us return good for evil--let us still be Christians. Yet no LordChudleigh hath deserved to have any benefit at my hands."

  He rubbed his hands: he laughed to himself, his shoulders rolling fromside to side: he nodded his head pleasantly at his victim, then he wentdownstairs again, with grave and thoughtful mien. He was thinking howbest to bring about his purpose.

  He found, however, waiting below, Roger, his man. With him there camea woman dressed in shabby finery. She was a woman of about thirty-twoyears of age, stout, and still comely; she looked about the room as ifin search of some one; her face was eager and anxious. When she saw theDoctor, she put her h
andkerchief to her eyes and burst, or pretended toburst, into tears.

  "Alas, Doctor!" she cried, "I am truly ashamed to come in such aplight. But I have nothing else to put on. And Roger, good man, saysthat the gentleman will not wait. Who is the gentleman? Surely notThomas Humpage, the mercer, who always promised to marry me when myhusband should die, and now refuses because, although a warm man, hewill not take upon him the burden of my poor debts. Alas! men are everthus towards us poor women. Pray, Doctor, who is the gentleman? Farbe it from me to keep the poor man waiting; and indeed, I was ever apitiful woman, and----"

  "You are under a little mistake, madam," said the Doctor, interruptingher. "There is no gentleman here asking for you. Roger is an ass, and apig."

  Roger made no reply. Excess of zeal frequently led him into mistakes.He stared straight before him, and modestly edged away in the directionof the door, so as to be out of reach both of the Doctor's fist, theweight of which he knew already, and the lady's nails.

  The poor woman's face fell, and real tears crowded into her eyes. Nowthe Doctor was a man who could not bear the sight of a woman crying, sohe hastened to soothe her.

  "Your case, madam," he said, "hath awakened my commiseration. I havesent for you to know whether, should Roger be able to find a suitablehusband, you would be willing to take him."

  "O Doctor!" she sobbed; "best of men! If only you can find me ahusband, I should be grateful to the end of my days. I would marry anyone--any one--even Roger."

  Roger swiftly vanished through the door.

  "He may be as old as Methusalem, and as ugly as a foreign Frenchman,but I would marry him--to take my place in the prison and go free oncemore."

  "Roger," said the Doctor, "is a great match-maker. He hath persuadedmany couples into this room that never thought, when they went out totake the air and see the shops, of coming here. See, now, would theskipper of a merchantman serve your turn?"

  "Doctor, I love a sailor. They make confiding husbands, and they bringhome money."

  "Once married, you are free. And then your creditors would have tocatch your husband, who, if he is the handy tarpaulin that deservesyou, will show them a clean pair of heels off the Nore. Madam, I willdo my best. Meanwhile, perhaps a guinea would be of use to you."

  She cried in earnest as she took it.

  "O Doctor! the debts are not much altogether; a poor two hundredpounds. And a man may always be happy in the prison. There areskittles and beer. But a woman never can. And I would go to see himsometimes--say twice a year."

  She went away weeping. But she stopped when she saw Roger outside thedoor, and held a few minutes' eager conversation with him before shereturned to her prison. Perhaps he found some simple country lad orsailor who was beguiled into marrying her, only to take upon him herdebts, and to lie within four walls instead of her. But indeed I knownot.

  We had finished our breakfast and were tidying the room: my thoughtswere full of the country that morning, because I had dreamed of theold place and the garden with its yellow leaves, the trailing cobwebs,banks covered with branches of mignonette, nasturtium eight feet long,pinks now mostly over, bending their faded heads, and the larkspur,foxglove, Venus's looking-glass, bachelors' buttons, mournful widow,boys' love, stocks, their glory over now, their leaves withering andall run to seed. I was talking about these sweet things with my ladies,when I heard the Doctor's voice at the bottom of the stairs, bidding mequickly take my hat and hood and run down to him, for that he needed mefor half an hour.

  I obeyed, little thinking what was to follow. He said nothing, but, bya gesture, bade me follow him.

  When we came to his house, Roger and William, his two runners, werewaiting outside the door, and the room was set out in the usualfashion, in readiness for any who might chance to call.

  "You," said the Doctor to the men, "wait outside until I call you.Stay, fetch a quart of ale at once."

  The ale brought, the men retired and shut the door.

  "Kitty," said my uncle, "I have long intended to bestow upon thee thegreatest good fortune which it is in my power to procure. Thou art agood girl: thou art my sister's child: thou hast shown a spirit ofobedience. I have reflected that it is not well for thee to remainmuch longer in the Rules, and the only way to provide thee with a homeelsewhere, is to provide thee with a husband."

  "But, sir," I said, beginning to be extremely terrified, "I do not wanta husband."

  "So say all young maids. We, child, know what is best for them. I couldhave found thee a husband among my friends. Sir Miles Lackington,indeed, spoke to me concerning the matter; he is a baronet. TheLackingtons are an old family; but he hath squandered his fortune, andI cannot learn that any more money will come to him. Besides, he drinksmore than is befitting even in a gentleman of title."

  "Oh, sir!" I cried, "not Sir Miles."

  "No, Kitty"--the Doctor smiled benevolently upon me--"I regard thyhappiness first. No drunkard shall marry my niece. Mr. Stallabras hathalso opened his mind upon thee; he is an ingenious man, with a prettywit, and if verses were guineas, would be a great catch for thee. Butalas! he hath no money, so I dismissed him."

  Poor Solomon! That, then, was the reason of a late melancholy which wehad remarked in him. Mrs. Esther took it as caused by the wrestling ofgenius, and said that the soul within him was too great for the bodilystrength.

  "But, Kitty," here the Doctor beamed upon me like the sun in splendour,"I have here--yea, even in this house, the husband of my choice, theman who will make thee happy. Start not--it is resolved. Child, _obeyme_."

  I declare that I was so terrified by the Doctor's words, so amazed byhis announcement, so spellbound by his words and manner, that I did notdare resist. Had he told me that I was to be hanged, I could not havemade an effort to save myself.

  "_Obey me_," he repeated, bending his eyebrows, and looking upon me nolonger as a sun in splendour, but as an angry judge might look upona criminal. "Stand here--so--do not move; keep thy face covered withthy hood, all but thine eyes. Give me your hand when I ask it, and besilent, save when I bid thee speak. Be not afraid, girl; I do this forthine own good. I give thee a gentleman for thy husband. Thou shalt notleave this place yet awhile, but needs must that thou be married. Ireturn in five minutes."

  He took the jug of beer and climbed the stairs. I meanwhile stood wherehe had placed me, my hood over my head, in the most dreadful terrorthat ever assailed the heart of any girl.

  Upstairs the Doctor awakened Lord Chudleigh with some difficulty. Hesat up on the bed and looked round him, wondering where he was.

  "I know now," he murmured, "you are Doctor Shovel, and this is----"

  "Your lordship is in the Liberties of the Fleet."

  "My head is like a lump of lead," said the young man.

  "Your lordship was very merry last night, as, indeed, befits the happyoccasion."

  "Was I merry? Indeed, I think I was very drunk. What occasion?"

  "Drink a little small ale," said the Doctor; "it will revive you."

  He took a long drink of the beer, and tried to stand.

  "So," he said, "I am better already; but my head reels, Doctor, and mylegs are unsteady. It serves me right. It is the first time, and itshall be the last."

  "I hope so, since your lordship is about to undertake so important acharge."

  "What charge?" asked Lord Chudleigh, still dazed and unsteady.

  "Is it possible that your lordship hath forgotten your mistress ofwhom you would still be talking last night? 'The sweetest girl inEngland--the prettiest girl in all the world--the fairest, kindestnymph'--I quote your lordship."

  Lord Chudleigh stared in amazement.

  "The sweetest girl?--what girl?"

  "Oh, your lordship is pleased to jest with me."

  "I remember you, Doctor Shovel, whom I came to see last night with SirMiles Lackington; I remember the punch and the songs; but I remembernothing about any girl."

  "Why, she is downstairs now, waiting for your lordship. You will comedownstairs a
nd keep your appointment."

  He spoke in a peremptory manner, as if ordering and expectingobedience.

  "My appointment? Have I gone mad? It is this cursed punch of yours. Myappointment?"

  The Doctor gave him his coat and wig, and helped him to put them on.

  "I attend your lordship. She is downstairs. Take a little more ale toclear your head: you will remember then."

  The young man drank again. The beer mounted to his brain, I suppose,because he laughed and straightened himself.

  "Why, I am a man again. An appointment? No, Doctor, hang me if all thebeer in your cellar will make me remember any appointment! Where is SirMiles? He might tell me something about it. Curse all punch, I say.Yet, if the lady be downstairs, as you say, I suppose I must have madesome sort of appointment. Let me see her, at any rate. It will be easyto--to----" here he reeled, and caught hold of the Doctor's hand.

  What a crime! What a terrible wicked thing was this which we did--myuncle and I! I heard the steps on the stairs; I might have run away;the door was before me; but I was afraid. Yes, I was afraid. My unclehad made me fear him more than I feared the laws of my God; or, sincethat is hardly true, he made me fear him so much that I forgot the lawsof my God, I did not run away, but I waited with a dreadful flutteringof my heart.

  I held my hood, drawn over my head, with my left hand, so that only myeyes were visible, and so I kept it all the time.

  I saw in the door the most splendid young man I had ever seen; he wasrichly dressed, though his coat and ruffles showed some disorder, incrimson coat and sash, with flowered silk waistcoat, and sword whosehilt gleamed with jewels. His cheek was flushed and his eyes had afixed and glassy look; the Doctor led him, or rather half supportedhim. Was this young man to be my husband?

  Roger must have been watching outside, for now he came in and lockedthe door behind him. Then he drew out his greasy Prayer-book, standingby his lordship, ready to support him if necessary.

  "So," he said, "this is the sweetest girl in all England--hang me if Iremember! Look up, my girl: let me see thy face. How can I tell unlessI see thy face?"

  "Silence!" said the Doctor in a voice of command.

  I know not what strange power he possessed, but at the sound of hisvoice the young man became suddenly silent and looked about the room,as if wondering. For myself, I knew that I was to be married to him;but why? what did it mean?

  The Doctor had begun the service. My bridegroom seemed to understandnothing, looking stupidly before him.

  Roger read the responses.

  The Doctor did not hurry; he read the exhortation, the prayers,the Psalms, through slowly and with reverence; other Fleet parsonsscrambled through the service; the Doctor alone knew what was due tothe Church; he read the service as a clergyman who respects the serviceought to read.

  "Wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife?"

  The man Roger gave the dazed bridegroom a jog in the ribs.

  "Say 'I will,'" he whispered loudly.

  "I will," said the young man.

  "Wilt thou," the Doctor turned to me, "have this man to thy weddedhusband?"

  Roger nodded to me. "Say 'I will,'" he admonished me.

  I obeyed; yet I knew not what I said, so frightened was I.

  "Who giveth," the Doctor went on, "this woman to be married to thisman?"

  The dirty, battered rogue, the clerk, took my hand and laid it in thatof the Doctor. I was given away by the villain Roger. Then the servicewent on.

  "With this ring"--the man's hand was holding mine, and it was dry andhot; his face was red and his eyes were staring--"with this ring I theewed; with my body I thee worship; with all my worldly goods I theeendow."

  * * * * *

  Consider--pray consider--that when I took part in this greatwickedness, I was but a young girl, not yet seventeen years old;that the thing came upon me so suddenly that I had not the sense toremember what it meant; that my uncle was a man of whom any girl wouldhave been afraid. Yet I knew that I ought to have fled.

  When my bridegroom held my hand in his I observed that it was hot andtrembling; his eyes did not meet mine; he gazed upon the Doctor as ifasking what all this meant. I took him, in my innocence, for a madman,and wondered all the more what this freak of the Doctor's could mean.

  For ring, the Doctor drew from his guest's little finger a diamondring, which was full large for my third finger.

  When the service was finished, bride and bridegroom stood stupidlystaring at each other (only that still I wore my hood drawn over myface), while Roger placed upon the table a great volume bound inparchment with brass clasps.

  "This, my lord, is our Register," said the Doctor, opening it at aclean page. "Sign there, if you please, in your usual hand. I will fillin the page afterwards."

  He took the pen and signed, still looking with wondering eyes.

  "Now, child," said the Doctor, "do you sign here, after your husband.The certificate you shall have later. For the present, I will takecare of it. Other practitioners of the Fleet, my lord," he said, withprofessional pride, as he looked at his great volume, "would enteryour name in a greasy pocket-book and give your wife a certificate onunstamped paper. Here you have a register fit for a cathedral, and acertificate stamped with no less illustrious a name than the Archbishopof Canterbury. Your lordship hath signed your name in a steady andworkmanlike fashion, so that none henceforth shall be able to malignyour conduct on this day; they shall not say that you were terrified,or bribed, or were in a state of liquor on the day of your marriage;all is free and above suspicion. I congratulate your lordship on thisauspicious occasion. Roger, your mark here as witness. So. It iscustomary, my lord, to present the officiating clergyman, myself, witha fee, from a guinea upwards, proportionate to the rank and stationof the happy bridegroom. From your lordship will I take nothing formyself; for the witness I will take a guinea."

  Here the bridegroom pulled out his purse and threw it on the table. Hespoke not a word, however; I think his brain was wandering, and he knewnot what he did. Yet he obeyed the voice of the Doctor, and fell intothe trap that was set for him, like a silly bird allured by the whistleof the fowler. I am certain that he knew not what he did.

  The Doctor pulled one guinea from the purse, and handed it back to theowner.

  "Roger," he said, "go drink his lordship's health; and harkye--silence. If I hear that you have told of this morning's doings, itshall be the worst day in all your life. I threaten not in vain. Go!"

  Then the Doctor took up the tankard of ale which stood in thewindow-seat.

  "Your health, my lord;" he drank a little and passed it to hislordship, who drained it; and then, with a strange, wild look, hereeled to the Doctor's arm-chair and instantly fell fast asleep.

  "Your husband is not a drunkard, Kitty, though this morning he appearsin that light."

  "But am I married?" I asked.

  "You are really married. You are no longer Kitty Pleydell; you areCatherine, Lady Chudleigh. I wish your ladyship joy."

  I stared at him.

  "But he does not know me; he never saw me," I remonstrated.

  "That he does not know you yet is very true," replied the Doctor. "Whenthe fitting time comes for him to know you, be sure that I will remindhim. For the present he shall not know whom he has married.

  "I perceive," he went on, seeing that I made no reply, "that thou arta good and obedient child. Ask no questions of me. Say not one word toany one of this day's work. Be silent, and thou shalt have thy reward.Remember--_be silent_. Now go, child. Go, Lady Chudleigh."