Keep Me Safe

by Maya Banks

  He smiled at the end, hoping to lighten the mood and make some of the seemingly permanent sadness in her eyes ease with his exaggeration. Well, except that it was only a slight exaggeration because to a normal person his security measures would be deemed extreme and over-the-top, but he’d be damned if anyone accessed his home or were able to get to his family. Never again.

  He was rewarded by a tiny smile and he was fascinated by the dimple that appeared in one cheek. He’d never seen her smile. Even the slight smile transformed her entire face. It brushed away some of the fatigue that seemed permanently etched in her features and she suddenly looked as young as he knew her to be.

  But then what had given her cause to smile over the last year and a half? And even before then since she’d been immersing herself in evil since she was sixteen years old. Had she been as somber as a teenager as she was as an adult? It was damn hard to be lighthearted enough to smile when every second of every day she wondered if she would die at any time.

  He added that to his growing list of things he vowed to do for Ramie. He wanted to make her smile again. To be able to laugh and take joy in living instead of merely surviving. Life was supposed to be filled with both highs and lows, but hers had been a study in lows with none of the highs to balance it out. Not many people could survive such an existence, but in his limited exposure to her, he’d learned that if nothing else, she was a survivor. Far tougher than she gave herself credit for. A normal person would have crumbled under the pressures she faced years ago. Or they would have simply given up and made it easy for a killer to find them, accepting the inevitability of their death. No matter what Ramie said or even thought, Caleb knew she simply wasn’t capable of giving up.

  But then her smile slipped and a troubled look took its place. “I can’t stay with you forever. I can’t hide forever. I won’t live my life like that. Death would be preferable to waking up every morning and wondering if it’s your last sunrise. It’s no way to live.”

  Sorrow soaked her every word. Her emotional pain was as evident as if she had a sign plastered to her chest advertising that fact. It made him want to pull her into his arms and hold her. Offer her some measure of comfort. But she seemed extremely wary of being touched and he didn’t want to do anything that made her uncomfortable around him.

  But he did want to know if she feared him. It would gut him if she were afraid he would hurt her in any way.

  “Ramie, why are you afraid to let me touch you?” he asked gently.

  He purposely kept his tone measured and more inquisitive rather than defensive or that he was angry she was afraid of him. God only knew she had sufficient reason to fear men. She’d lived in the minds of the worst the male sex had to offer.

  She shrugged one small shoulder. “I don’t like being touched by anyone. It’s just my automatic response to shun contact with others. Because when someone touches me I see their worst secrets. I see and feel the evil in them. Never the good. Only the worst. If I could feel joy, love or even genuine happiness or just something positive then at least that would balance the scales and maybe I could deal more with the darkness that stains people’s souls. But my gift is the worst sort of curse because I’m only capable of knowing the evil people try to hide.”

  Caleb’s brow furrowed and an uneasy sensation prickled his nape. “And when I touched you? What did you feel?”

  He knew he sounded defensive now, despite his earlier determination that he not sound so, but knowing someone could read things no one else could possibly know about him unsettled him. He didn’t want her having access to his thoughts. He was ruthless when it came to the protection of his family. He was ruthless when it came to business. Both traits could very well damn him in Ramie’s eyes.

  “I’m not a mind reader,” she said wearily, as if she had indeed read his thoughts despite her denial. “It’s hard to explain. It’s not that I pick out exact thought patterns. It’s more of a tangible thing that I feel, not know. I see things. Events. Actions. But I don’t actually read people’s thoughts. I sense emotions—negative ones—not good ones. Maybe I could handle it better if I ever got to feel goodness in people. Maybe I wouldn’t be so cynical about human nature and the capacity in us all to be bad or at the very least gray. If it makes you feel any better, or at least not judged by me, I didn’t sense anything evil. Or bad. Just . . . determination. And that’s not a bad quality. At least not in my estimation. But then my opinion of you should hardly matter. I’m no one to you and what I think shouldn’t even give you pause.”

  Caleb’s lips tightened, because her opinion did matter to him. And maybe it shouldn’t. But it had suddenly become all-important to him that she think him a good man, despite his thoughts. That she would eventually be able to trust him.

  “Your gift isn’t infallible then. I’m not a good man, Ramie. In fact I am quite capable of killing and of hurting someone without hesitation if I deem them a threat to someone I love.”

  “But don’t you see?” she asked in a soft voice. “Protecting someone from evil isn’t evil itself. It doesn’t make you bad that you want to punish those who truly are a threat to your family. All I sensed from you was unwavering resolve and I didn’t need to be in your head to see that. It’s written all over your face and in your eyes. No one needs to have my gift—or rather curse—to determine how resolved you are.”

  “But you said you could pick up violence. And my thoughts most assuredly are violent.”

  She smiled, only the second smile he’d been gifted with and it took his breath away because he caught a glimpse of what the real Ramie must have been like before her curse took her down a path she couldn’t return from.

  “What I pick up on are people’s true natures. While you may entertain violent thoughts—revenge, retribution, even murder—that isn’t the true essence of who and what you are. I guess you could say my gift reveals the true heart of a person. Some people are inherently evil. Others are inherently good no matter if they deviate from their true nature in certain circumstances. But I have a way of seeing through a façade to the very soul of people and while our actions and words may speak differently, the soul is unchangeable. It remains constant. Some people are able to fight their true nature while others give in more readily to the darkness inside them. Even embrace it.”

  Listening to her calmly explain away such an unbelievable gift as casually as someone might discuss the weather was mind-boggling to him. It wasn’t as if he didn’t believe or have faith in her gift. He just hadn’t realized the true extent of her abilities. He’d ignorantly assumed that it was a simple black-and-white matter where she touched something belonging to the victim and was able to trace the path back to them. He’d never once considered that her capabilities went so much deeper and were so profound—almost spiritual in a sense. Because only God was supposed to know the true heart and soul of a person. Only God could judge intent.

  Caleb could well understand now why she’d led such a solitary existence. A reclusive who didn’t surround herself with people. How would she ever be able to protect herself from anyone? If people knew the extent of her gift she would be in constant danger. People would kill to silence the truth about themselves. It was no wonder what little he’d been able to discover about her was sketchy at best.

  He’d once thought her selfish, back when he was frantically trying to locate her in order to save Tori. He’d deemed her selfish for purposely disappearing from the public eye and refusing to help others desperate to recover a loved one.

  God, what an ass he’d been. Now that he knew what it cost her each time she traced a line back to the victim, he couldn’t imagine why she’d done it for as long as she had.

  But now that he was assured that his touch wasn’t harmful to her, he carefully pulled her into his arms, watching for any sign that this wasn’t something she wanted. But he met with no resistance. She melted into his embrace and even buried her face in his chest, her head tucked snugly under his chin.

  Her b
reaths were coming in ragged spurts and her chest heaved against him. He yanked her back in a hurry, worried he’d caused her yet another anxiety attack, but what he saw filled him with more dismay than if she had been suffering one.

  She was crying. Heaving, heart-wrenching, completely silent sobs. Tears rolled down her cheeks, leaving damp trails in their wake. It was as if the final barrier had come down and something so simple as him offering a comforting hug had completely unraveled her.

  “I’m not even sure I’m sane anymore. I feel . . . broken,” she said around the tears that seemed to be streaming faster the more she spoke. “I’m not sure anyone can help me or if they even should. The person stalking me is a complete sociopath. He thinks nothing of killing anyone he feels is an obstacle to his end goal. Anyone I’m around is in danger. And I can’t let your sister go through hell again. Not because of me.”

  “Do you forget she escaped hell because of you?” he asked softly.

  She went silent, allowing his question to go unanswered, but she could hardly refute his statement of truth.

  “And what is his end goal, Ramie? You said that he would kill anyone posing an obstacle to it.” Even though Caleb had a very good idea, he wanted confirmation from Ramie. Even though he knew. And it was a stupid question.

  “Me,” she whispered. “His end goal is me. And until he gets to me, countless other women will suffer horrifically because of me. How can I save myself knowing that other women have to die in order for me to stay out of his grasp? How can I live with that on my conscience? That he won’t stop torturing and killing other innocent victims until he finally achieves his ultimate goal? Me.”

  NINE

  CALEB stared at her in a mixture of what the fuck and absolute disbelief. “You can’t possibly think that the deaths of his past victims and any future victims he tortures are your fault. You’re not a stupid woman, Ramie. Even you have to recognize the idiocy of such an assumption.”

  She looked angered by his statement. Her cheeks flushed with color and impatience flared in her eyes as though he simply wasn’t getting the point. Oh, he got it all right. And it didn’t make a goddamn bit of sense to him.

  Her fingers curled into tight balls and she pressed one fist down on top of her thigh, repeating the motions as she spoke.

  “Were he not so focused on me, and were I not so hard to pin down, then he wouldn’t be so hungry for his next victim. The longer I keep him at bay, the more frustrated he’ll become and he’ll utilize substitutes for me. Because I’m the only woman who manages to evade him at every turn. Not because I’m smarter than he is or that I somehow am able to outwit him. I’ve just been lucky. But my luck won’t hold out forever. And part of me wishes he would catch me because I know exactly what I’m dealing with and if I died I’d damn sure make sure he goes to hell with me.”

  “That makes no goddamn sense,” he said, voicing his earlier thoughts. “I swear I want to shake you. That’s the dumbest thing I have ever heard. You are not responsible for the decisions a maniac makes. You are not responsible for him torturing, degrading and ultimately killing his victims. Do you honestly think he would just quit after you? Hell, he’d think himself invincible if he managed to bring down the one woman who’s proven to be his biggest challenge. And I’d be willing to lay odds that’s why he’s so obsessed with you. Because other victims are easy. They offer him no challenge. He enjoys the chase and the fact it has proven so difficult. It will only make him that much more egotistical if he does succeed in killing you. He’s going to believe he’s invincible. God of his own twisted universe. Because after you, how could he fail to bring down his next target? He’s become obsessed with you because you’re his Holy Grail.”

  He knew he’d scored a point with his logic. Ramie frowned, her gaze thoughtful. Her hand went still, her fist pressing hard into her thigh. She chewed on her bottom lip and then let out a long sigh, closing her eyes as fatigue and stress marred her forehead.

  “I guess I never imagined beyond him being able to capture me.”

  She nodded slowly as she said the next, opening her eyes and fixing her gaze at some distant point beyond him.

  “But no, you’re right. I think he would only get worse, grow bolder and more confident once he managed to do away with me for good. I’m a thorn in his side. No one has ever come as close as I did to capturing him, or even figuring out who he is, and there seems to be no connection between his victims. No similarities, personality traits. Nothing. Just a thirst for torture and degradation that has his victims wishing for death.”

  “Do you know his name? Any identifying information?”

  She threw him an impatient look. “Don’t you think if I knew how to find him that I would have already done so? I’d kill him myself and damn the consequences if it meant eradicating his presence on earth. I’d willingly spend the rest of my life in prison if it meant no more women had to suffer the torture he so loves to heap on his victims.”

  He frowned. Not only at the utter conviction in her voice, but because he didn’t understand.

  “But you were so specific when you gave me the information on how to locate my sister even though he too slipped from our grasp. It was a case of misfortunate timing, because the police burst in when her kidnapper had left for a short period of time, and with so many police surrounding the house, he would have been alerted to their presence if he tried to return.”

  “He’s not like the others,” she said wearily. “I told you earlier that I think he may have psychic abilities of his own, but you probably think I’m crazy.”

  Caleb held up a hand. “I don’t think you’re crazy at all. I believed in your abilities before I ever met you.” He hesitated before saying the rest, because his sister’s own psychic ability was a very closely guarded secret within his family. But he also felt it would go a long way in helping Ramie trust him. If he first offered her his trust.

  “Tori has psychic gifts. It’s why I had no problem believing in yours. Though, even if I hadn’t been a confirmed believer you’ve been one hundred percent accurate in all of the cases you’ve assisted on.”

  Ramie’s eyebrow shot upward. “Your sister is psychic?”

  “In a manner of speaking, yes. But let’s go back to why you think the guy stalking you is psychic.”

  Ramie rose from the bed as if she couldn’t remain still a second longer. She mimicked his earlier actions, pacing back and forth, concentration marring her features.

  “There’s no other logical explanation.” She laughed a dry, brittle sound that in no way reflected amusement. “What you don’t understand about my abilities—one of the many things you didn’t or don’t understand—is that my connection to the victim and their attacker doesn’t go away immediately.”

  Caleb felt himself pale as blood leached from his face. “What does that mean exactly?”

  “It means that I maintain a connection to both killer and victim. Sometimes for hours. Sometimes for days. Or in the case of the man stalking me, the connection has never truly been severed.”

  “Dear God,” he whispered, “so your torment goes long beyond what you initially experience. How in God’s name do you survive it?”

  She shrugged as though it was no big deal, but Caleb knew better. He knew how long it had taken Tori to regain a semblance of her old self and she was still dealing with the aftermath an entire year later. And Ramie didn’t endure it once, like the victims she helped did. She went through it time and time again and now she was telling him that her link wasn’t severed when she rid herself of whatever article she touched in order to pinpoint a victim’s location?

  It didn’t bear thinking about. How the hell had she survived this long without having a complete breakdown? But by all appearances she’d done just that eighteen months ago. And then so close on the heels of that, Caleb had appeared, dragging her right back into the hell she was so desperately trying to escape.

  And then he understood what she wasn’t telling him or perhaps
what he hadn’t understood until now. His eyebrows lifted, registering his shock.

  “You still have an established link to him.”

  She closed her eyes and slowly nodded. “I should say he has the link since obviously I can’t get a bead on his location. God only knows I’ve tried. But he’s tapped into my mind somehow. It’s why I think he’s psychic or has some extrasensory abilities. How else can you explain his uncanny knack for tracking my every movement? And the dreams . . .”

  She shook her head, her lips tightening as she went silent.

  “What dreams?” he prompted.

  “He’s there in my dreams. But I don’t think they’re actual dreams. I think they’re reality. His reality. It’s his way of taunting me. Of never making it possible for me to forget, heal and move on. I wake up at night sweating and my pulse racing well over a hundred beats per minute. It’s why I suffer frequent panic attacks. He’s doing it to me. I’m certain.”

  She grimaced as she checked for his reaction. Did she think he was going to discount her intuition? Or that he had doubts about her sanity? Neither was true. He believed her absolutely.

  “He lives as a shadow in my mind. There, but not there. His presence isn’t overwhelming all the time. Only when he locates a new victim and he wants me to see what he’s doing to her. It’s his way of gloating. Telling me that he’s unstoppable and that I don’t have the power to shut him down. He wants me to suffer. He’s succeeded there,” she said in a painful tone that made Caleb want to weep for all she’d suffered—was still suffering.

  That the bastard was continuing to hunt and kill, all the while hot on Ramie’s trail. That he shared with her his victims’ pain and suffering, knowing it would become Ramie’s own. The more Caleb discovered about her abilities and the demented, twisted mind of the man stalking her, the more it sickened him. And the more it made him fear for her and his ability to fulfill his promise to keep her safe.

  “How then did you know he was in your hotel room?” he asked curiously. “If you don’t have a link to him but he has a link to you, wouldn’t he be able to get near you undetected? Can’t he control what you see about him?”

  She nodded. “For the most part, yes. Today is the closest I believe he’s come. Or maybe he’s merely been watching me all this time. Toying with me. And then today . . . when I touched the handle of the door to my hotel room, his imprint was all over it. I felt a black wave of such hatred and violence that it staggered me. I was so shaken, so terrified that, before I could flee, he threw open the door and grabbed me. I was able to fight him off and escape but not before he gave me this,” she said, rubbing absently over her bruised jaw.

  Caleb’s scowl grew even bigger, but he tried to temper his reaction so she’d continue talking. He needed to know exactly what they were up against without him going off his hinges and scaring the hell out of her.

  “You don’t think I’m crazy for saying he speaks to me in my dreams and that it’s not just my worst fears manifesting themselves in my subconscious?” she asked in a disbelieving tone.

  “Ramie. For the hundredth time I don’t think you’re crazy. It would be the height of hypocrisy to discount anything, considering my own sister has psychic abilities and you certainly possess them yourself. So it certainly wouldn’t be a stretch to say that it’s entirely likely—even probable—that there are others out there who also have special abilities.”

  She hesitated a brief moment, licking her lips as if readying herself for what she was about to say. “What ability does your sister have?”

  He could hardly refuse to tell her—to trust her—when he demanded her trust and for her to tell him everything about her situation. Even if he was breaking a sacred vow between him and his brothers and Tori.

  “She has visions. Of the future. Of what is yet to come. They aren’t always clear in their meaning. Sometimes she doesn’t know their meaning until what she sees comes to pass. It’s deeply upsetting to her because she believes she could prevent bad things from happening.”

  “That must be terribly frustrating,” she said, sympathy brimming in her voice. Sorrow was an ache in her eyes, making the smoky gray darker, as though shadows of the past were flickering through her mind.

  “At least she doesn’t have to endure the pain and tragedy of others. In that regard she’s fortunate. Unlike you, who suffers right along with every victim that you’re helping. You see everything. Feel everything.”

  She let out a sigh and then sank back onto the edge of the bed, defeat evident in her posture. “What are we going to do?” she whispered. “I should have never asked for your help. I’m putting you and your family in unimaginable danger. Because he’ll stop at nothing in his effort to capture me. Life means nothing to him. He’d take out any obstacle to his ultimate goal as if it were only a simple annoyance, like killing flies.”

  “Yes, you should most certainly have asked for my help,” he argued. “And I’m going to help you, Ramie. I will protect you. This goes beyond the debt that I and my family owe you. I will not allow an innocent woman—I don’t care who she is—to suffer a fate worse than death.”

  A flicker of hope lightened the stormy gray of her eyes. She stared at him as if afraid to believe the unbelievable.

  “You can trust me,” he said. “You touched me, gauged my intent. You know I’m not . . . evil. So you have to know I’d never hurt you.”

  “I do know,” she whispered.

  “Then I suggest we move and move quickly. He’s not far from here and if he does truly have a psychic link to you, he’ll know you’re still close. The longer we stay here, the more opportunity we provide him to find you.”

  Fear and panic made her tremble, her shoulders and hands shaking. Then she simply nodded her agreement.

  Caleb picked up his cell phone and made a series of calls, one to ensure his pilot had fueled the plane and was ready to go at a moment’s notice. Then he called Antonio and told him to meet him outside Ramie’s room so they could provide a solid barrier around her the short distance from the hotel room to the car waiting downstairs.

  When he was finished, he simply held out his hand to Ramie, a signal that it was time to leave. Heaving a deep breath, she slid her fingers over his palm and allowed him to help her to her feet.

  “You ready?” he asked.

  She squared her shoulders resolutely and then nodded. “I’m ready.”

  “Then let’s do this,” he said.

  TEN

  RAMIE studied Caleb from her position in the plane. He seemed tense and ill at ease. But then wasn’t she a stark reminder of what had happened to tear his family apart a year ago? She felt horrible for bringing that all back. But she was truly scared. She knew she’d run out of time and that her stalker was tiring of the game. That he was ready for the final chapter in his morbid fantasy of killing her.

  No, she couldn’t get a solid read on him, but when he slipped into her mind, she sensed frustration. Impatience. It was why she knew he’d established a link to her, one that she couldn’t control. He remained there, a dark shadow in the deepest recesses of her consciousness. He lived to make her life hell. For her to be afraid every minute of the day, both awake and in her dreams.

  Never before had she come up against something like this. She tracked evil, could feel it—and the victims’ pain. But no one had ever held such a hold on her mind. Never before had she experienced the kind of helplessness—and