by Presley Hall
She lets out a small whimper as she looks at me, the tiny sound the only thing coming from her lips, and her chest rises and falls unevenly, her breath coming as hard and fast as mine is.
I won’t move until she does.
I won’t.
If I give myself even an inch, I won’t be able to stop.
Krax, I’ve never burned so much for a woman and not taken her—I’ve never burned so much for a woman at all. There’s never been anything but money between me and pleasure before. And now there’s so much more at stake.
Everything is at stake.
If she truly is my Irisa, what does that mean for me? For my people? For Kalix?
If Tordax isn’t the only one to find a mate, then that means there could be more of us who will find our bond with Terran women. There will be more possibilities for our people to continue, to flourish even, despite the heavy toll that was exacted on us by the Orkun. This could change our world.
It already feels as if it’s changed mine.
And then my breath stops momentarily as Autumn leans up on her tiptoes, stumbling slightly toward me as her other hand comes up to steady herself against my chest. To my surprise, she tilts her chin up, leaning upward to brush her lips softly over mine.
It’s a feather-light kiss, only a hint of one, but it’s the last spark that sets me ablaze.
My body breaks free of its stasis, and I reach up with my other hand, running my fingers through her hair as I kiss her back. My hand slides over the back of her head to steady her as her lips move slightly against mine—tentative, almost afraid.
I should go slowly, but desh it all, I can’t. Desire like I’ve never known rises up in me, my cock so hard that it’s nearly painful as I slide my tongue along her lower lip, tasting her for the first time. The pleasure of it makes me nearly dizzy. My other hand goes to her waist, fighting the urge to pull her hard against me, and as she gasps softly, I let my tongue slide into her mouth to tangle with hers.
It’s as if something explodes between us.
She arches against me suddenly, and I feel her breasts against my chest, soft beneath the slightly scratchy fabric of her shirt. I lean back against the wall, pulling her with me as my hand tightens on her waist and in her hair, kissing her harder.
Her tongue tangles with mine as she gasps, her hips rocking against me, and I both hear and feel her moan as she feels the hard weight of my cock beneath my loincloth, pressing against the juncture of her thighs.
I need her. I need her like I’ve never needed anything before, and there’s only the finest thread holding me back.
Because I know that taking her once won’t be enough. It won’t sate the desire, only fan the flames. She has to want me in return, has to be as desperate for my body as I am for hers, so that we can burn up together. It’s the only way that this won’t end in misery for us both.
My hand slides down to her hip as she clutches my arms, her fingertips digging into the muscle as she kisses me harder, moaning again with a soft, needy sound. I can’t help myself—I slide my hand beneath her tunic, bunching the fabric up as I feel the soft flesh of her flat stomach beneath my fingers, and I move my hand upward, a groan spilling from my lips as I feel her breast in my hand, full and soft in my rough palm.
I slide my thumb over her nipple, feeling it harden under my touch, and I groan again with need as my cock throbs against her, pressed tightly between our bodies.
And then, just as suddenly as she moved forward, she jerks backward.
Her eyes flare wide. “I… I…”
No other words come out. She stumbles away from me with her hands in front of her as the hem of her shirt slides back down. Her entire body is tense not with desire now, but with fear. Her face is awash with it, her eyes wide as she shakes her head.
She backs around me into the bedroom, leaving me stunned as she shuts the door hard behind her.
I stare at it for a long moment, chest still heaving, my body aching with lust.
What the desh just happened?
10
Autumn
I stand just inside the closed door, leaning against it as I shudder—with desire or fear, I don’t know.
A mixture of both, maybe.
I don’t know what’s going on. Why do I feel like this? Why does this alien, of all people, make me want him so fiercely? The arousal raging through my body is something I never thought I would feel even the slightest hint of again.
Pressing my hands against the rough wood of the door, I will the sensation in my palms to ground me, to keep the memories from flooding back—but they pour through my mind anyway.
What I felt with Sorsir was nothing like the last time I was in someone’s arms.
There was no desire then, no heat, no pleasure. Only darkness and terror, pleading and begging with no hope that anyone would listen. Nothing about Sorsir is like that. But it doesn’t matter, because the moment he touched me intimately, it all came rushing back.
It was only a few months that I was kept captive by the Orkun, but it doesn’t matter. It’s a part of me now, etched as indelibly into my skin and nerves and bones as if I’d been infused with it, with him.
My “husband.”
The Orkun warlord named Ivuk who claimed me as his tribute bride.
It took years for the nightmares to go away. I can’t imagine that the memories ever will.
For the briefest second, I gave in to my craving for Sorsir, allowing the pleasure of it to overtake me. I let my walls come down because I wanted to remember what it felt like to be desired—to go back to a time when I was innocent and naïve and knew nothing about how men really are.
But there’s nothing innocent or naïve about the emotions I feel radiating out from Sorsir. It’s not quiet or gentle, and I can tell how hard he’s fighting to hold it back. I can only imagine what it would be like if he unleashed it.
It would be fierce, raging, violent.
And the thought of that makes me shudder, because it doesn’t matter if his lust is tempered with caring. The violence of it frightens me.
His possessive touch brought old fears rushing back, until I could taste nothing but terror and the bitter memories that have been with me for every second of every day since I escaped the Orkun.
I gave up on men and love and desire for a reason, I remind myself. And as I look toward the bed where Chloe is lying, still peacefully asleep, I’m reminded all over again what that reason is.
It’s not just for my own safety, my own good. It’s for hers. Because she needs me and will for a very long time.
She’s all I have left.
I have to be smart and strong. For her.
My legs feel like jelly as I walk over to the bed and look down at her, my fists clenching at my sides.
What do I do?
Should I gather up our meager belongings, grab her, and run? Should we make a break for it and take off on our own, the way I planned to before Sorsir insisted we come back here with him?
Despite my fear, the thought of Sorsir sends heat blazing through me all over again, making my stomach tighten with need. I swallow hard and glance toward the door. He’s on the other side of it, probably still leaning against the wall keeping silent watch. If I wanted to, I could step outside the room and throw myself into his arms again, and I’m sure he would pull me into his embrace with the same wild hunger as before.
All I would have to do is go to him.
But I can’t.
What do I do? Think, Autumn, think.
The truth is, I don’t know where I would go if Chloe and I ran. I need someone’s help. I need Sorsir’s help, even if I’m terrified—by the situation, by him, by all of it. I don’t think I can do this alone. And I can’t fail, because it isn’t only my future at stake.
And deep down, a small part of me that I can’t acknowledge or give any credence to tells me that I don’t want to leave him. That the idea of never again seeing the brawny alien with the bronze skin and strangely b
eautiful horns makes my heart ache. It makes my chest constrict in a way that makes no sense and shouldn’t happen.
This morning, I didn’t have any idea who he was. I didn’t even know his name. And now I’m upset at the idea that I might never see him again if I leave.
I shake my head. Get it together! I shout at myself, clenching my teeth. I have to be logical and clearheaded. And Sorsir makes my head feel anything but clear.
I have to ignore how he makes me feel and focus on what I need—his protection, and nothing else. And once I figure out how to get Chloe to a more permanent safe place, I have to be willing to say goodbye and forget about him.
There’s nothing else between us. There can’t be.
Still trying to calm the racing of my heart, I lie back down and curl around Chloe again. I won’t run. Not yet. But my mind races as I try to think of what I’ll do if we have to—because I know I can’t put all my faith in Sorsir. That would be foolish. I need a backup plan.
Exhaustion washes over me again, warring with my racing thoughts, and I close my eyes. I can’t do anything until the morning.
Even as I slip from consciousness, I swear I can feel him on the other side of the door. Watching over us.
Protecting us.
The last thought I have before sleep claims me is, I never thought guardian angels would have so many muscles. Or horns.
I wake up to sunlight flooding through the curtains and Chloe poking at my arm.
“Mama, I’m hungry,” she tells me, sleepiness still coloring her voice.
A savory scent tickles my nostrils, and I realize that it’s food. My stomach rumbles loudly. I haven’t eaten anything since before I left for work yesterday, and I’m feeling the effects of that in my body.
Gingerly, I sit up, rubbing a hand over my face. My head aches and I feel exhausted, as if I didn’t sleep well at all, but I pick Chloe up, swinging her in the air cheerfully.
“Well, then let’s go see about some food, why don’t we?” I tap her lightly on the nose as I heft her onto my hip and push the door open.
Sorsir the sentry isn’t outside the door. Instead, I find him in the kitchen, his broad back to me as he stands over the cooking range. He’s still only wearing the loincloth—do they ever wear anything more than that?—and I can’t help but look at the curve of his hip as my mouth goes dry, imagining what his ass must look like underneath that. And in front…
Oh, lord. I remember that vividly, pressed up against me as I kissed him last night, and my skin flushes red and hot as he turns to face me.
His eyes are that deep green again, and in the daylight I can see that they’re lightly flecked with gold, like his horns. They lock onto mine, and for a brief second, a flash of hunger sparks in them as the memory of the night before passes between us. I can practically feel the air thicken, the atmosphere almost crackling as he stands there looking at me, his gaze flicking down to my mouth.
Then he tears his attention away, turning back to the stove.
“I made breakfast,” he says. His voice is a low rumble in his chest, but there’s a cheerful friendliness to it as he scoops something out of a pan and onto a stoneware plate. “Is the little one picky?”
I realize with a start that he’s talking about Chloe, and I’m momentarily flooded with warmth. I can’t believe he cares about something as inconsequential as what my child likes to eat—inconsequential to him, anyway. I can’t imagine why he’d care.
He’s still looking at me, waiting for an answer, and I blink rapidly before stuttering out a response.
“No… I mean, she has preferences, but she’ll eat just about anything.”
“A girl after my own heart.” He grins at her, his eyes twinkling as he sets a plate with some kind of porridge topped with dried fruit and sausages on the table.
I have no idea what the sausages on Wauru are made of, and I’ve never wanted to ask, but we eat them often. They’re cheap and easy to get. It doesn’t seem to matter what planet I’m on—the inhabitants always find a way to grind up meat and shove it in a casing.
Chloe makes a cheering noise as I sit her down in front of the plate and hand her a utensil, watching her carefully as Sorsir delivers me a plate of my own. I start to eat standing up, but he frowns at me.
“Sit down, Autumn,” he tells me quietly, and I shake my head.
“It’s okay, there are only two seats…”
“I can stand. Please sit. You look tired.”
His gaze meets mine, and there’s a flash of memory between us again, a reminder of why neither of us slept well. I can feel myself blushing once more, but I duck my head quickly to hide it, sitting down without further argument.
“So,” Sorsir starts to say as he puts more sausages into the pan. It looks as if he’s going to eat as much as the both of us combined, but I suppose it isn’t all that surprising. He must work out often to look the way he does. He’s like a wall of solid muscle, chiseled and lean.
My skin heats even more at that thought, my heart rate picking up a little.
Stop thinking about it! I tell myself, staring intently down at my food, but I can’t help it. He practically oozes masculinity. Everything about him screams of strength and virility, and even a foot away from him, it feels hard to breathe. I’ve never been this distracted by anyone in my life.
It’s got to stop.
“How did you end up on this planet?” Sorsir continues, clearly oblivious to the riot going on in my mind behind him.
I glance over at Chloe, who is busily eating half her porridge and spreading the other half around her plate. I wince, hoping it at least stays on the plate. I can’t imagine Sorsir is used to children, or the messes they cause.
“We were visiting friends,” I say, trying to come up with a lie on the spot. I’ve never been good at lying, but I’ve had to improve over time. It’s still not one of my best skills though. “And our funds for going back home were stolen. I’ve been trying to save up for a ticket since then.”
Sorsir turns slowly toward me, his eyes narrowing. “So who was after you, then?”
I swallow hard, feeling myself go a little pale. “Um, someone from the bar, I think.” I laugh nervously. “A customer. You know how men can get. They get an interest in a girl and obsess, and the next thing you know…”
It’s a lie, of course. And I can see Sorsir’s nostrils flare as he looks at me intently. Without a word, he grasps my arm and pulls me into the other room. The action isn’t harsh and his grip isn’t tight, but I can tell that he’s not buying what I’m selling.
“Autumn, if I’m going to protect you, I have to know the truth.” His voice is quiet but urgent. He runs a hand through his hair, his expression frustrated as he looks down at me. “Look… it’s not like I don’t understand how you feel right now. My men and I…” He looks away quickly and then back at me. “My entire force was captured by the Orkun, some months ago,” he says roughly. “We escaped, but it wasn’t an easy task. We lost men in the process, and it was a vicious fight. That’s how we ended up here—crash landing on this planet.”
The breath stills in my lungs as my chest tightens so much it feels like it’s locked up. I can’t help it. The mere mention of the Orkun makes me tense.
I look up at him, struggling with my response to what he’s revealed.
On the one hand, it helps to know that the Orkun are enemies to him and his people. At least I don’t have to worry about him handing me over to them. It makes me trust him a tiny bit more—but I still know better than to trust him altogether. I don’t know anything about his people, his men… I don’t know him. Being an enemy of the Orkun doesn’t mean he’s a good man, it just means he might be slightly less bad. It doesn’t mean that he’ll keep me safe.
“Look, it doesn’t matter. My past isn’t importa—”
I start to speak, but before I’ve even finished the sentence, he takes a step closer to me. There’s less than a foot of space between us now. It makes my heart leap in m
y chest and my breath come short, and I hate myself for it. I shouldn’t respond this way to him.
But what woman wouldn’t?
His physical presence alone is enough to take anyone’s breath away. And the way he’s looking at me…
“Autumn,” he says gently, his gaze fixed on mine. “Please. I want to help you.”
I can feel that almost familiar heat flare up between us, sparking over my skin in a way that makes me shiver. I shouldn’t want him. It’s distracting, it’s wrong, it’s dangerous—but I do. I can’t help it. I want to know how it feels to have a man like him take me in his arms and make me his in every way, what it feels like to be loved by someone so powerful, so strong.
That’s not for you. It never will be.
Why would he love me? Why is he even protecting me now?
I can’t come up with any logical answers to those questions, but I also can’t stop myself from being drawn to him like a magnet. My body sways toward his as my chin tilts upward, my eyes meeting his pleadingly as something stronger than myself pulls me toward him.
I hear the groan deep in his throat, see his helpless expression as his hands go to my waist and his mouth dips toward mine, and I realize in a sudden rush that the same force is drawing him. That he’s as weak to it as I am.
We’re both being pushed toward each other by something outside of our control.
His lips brush over mine, and desire explodes inside of me. My body arches against his as I feel that same craving wash over me.
God, I need to feel him against me, inside of me, all over me.
The pure, raw need is so powerful that it’s frightening, and as his tongue drags over my lower lip, urging my mouth to open for him, I shudder in his embrace. Even as my body screams at me to obey his silent command, I tear myself away from him, gulping down deep lungfuls of air as I look up at him with wide eyes.
