by Presley Hall
No.
Whatever this thing is, it might be outside of our control, but that doesn’t mean we have to give in to it. He might have the freedom to act on his desires, but I don’t.
I can’t.
I step back, trying to put as much physical distance between us as I can.
“I appreciate you letting us stay here.” My voice is husky and rough, and I try to keep it from shaking. “But I can’t tell you anything more about my past, so please don’t ask. I’ll find a way to keep Chloe and me safe.”
“What will you do?”
“In about three weeks, a tourist cruise ship called the Stellar Princess is docking. I was planning to purchase passage for us, but it looks like we’re going to have to sneak on board. If you still want us to stay here, I’ll stay until the ship docks. But when it leaves this planet, Chloe and I are going to be on board.”
A dozen expressions cross his face in a flash, all of them unreadable to me.
Silence hangs in the air between us, and I expect him to argue back—or to throw me over his shoulder like he threatened to do last night and lock me in his bedroom so that I can’t escape.
But he says nothing, only nods and turns to go back into the kitchen, leaving me standing there with my arms wrapped around myself, shivering.
11
Sorsir
I never knew it was possible for any woman to do to me what Autumn has done.
It’s been three days of her living in my pod, and I’m more distracted than I’ve ever been, frustrated from the constant riot of desire inside of me and ready to explode.
I’ve fought harder than ever in the ring, although it’s only my years-long training that’s enabled me to win my most recent matches. I’ve made foolish mistakes and missed easy openings because I was distracted, and I know Tordax has noticed it. My mind isn’t where it should be.
Every day that Autumn stays in my little pod, the connection grows stronger, and I’m pulled toward her more than ever. I know that the best thing for my sanity and for my mission would be to find her somewhere else to stay, somewhere safe, but the need to protect her myself is undeniable. And the idea of her being away from me is unbearable with the mate bond raging inside of me, desperate for me to claim her.
I can feel the clock ticking ever since she announced her plans to me.
Three weeks. Three weeks until the Stellar Princess docks and she leaves this planet forever with her daughter.
Three weeks until I lose her.
Determination burned in her eyes as she spoke, and I knew the worst thing I could do would be to try to forcibly persuade her to stay. If I had done that, she would’ve fled my pod and never returned.
But I can’t let her leave. I can’t.
I can’t think of anything else as I spar in the courtyard outside our dwelling with Tordax and the other men, working through our daily training exercises. I know that I could force her to stay. I’m strong enough to ensure that she could deny me nothing that I want. But I can’t bear the idea of seeing the same fear in her face that I saw in the alley after I defeated the Shaga who attacked her. I can’t stand the thought that it might be justified—that she might be right to fear me. Especially when all I want to do is keep her safe.
Stowing away on a passenger vessel heading off planet is far from safe. But I don’t know how to prevent it and still keep her from fearing me.
She’s the strongest woman I’ve ever met, but it’s clear that underneath her armor, there’s a fragility that comes from trauma. She’s damaged—someone has hurt her in the past. I don’t want to take her by force, not only because it goes against everything I’ve been taught is right, but also because I have the horrifying feeling that I wouldn’t be the first one to do so.
Just the thought sends an uncontrollable surge of fury through me. Rage comes over me in a hot wave that makes me strike out without thinking, harder than I should. My spear narrowly misses Vrexen’s face, and as I spin, I strike him hard in the chin with my fist, sending him down to the ground with one blow as he cries out.
“Hold!” Tordax shouts, and everyone freezes in place. “Sorsir, come here,” he orders sharply.
I wince as I drop my spear and walk over to him. He draws me aside into the shadow of the building, then crosses his arms and gazes at me with narrowed eyes. When he speaks, my commander’s voice is firm but not unkind. He’s a fair and intelligent leader, although he’s got every reason to be angry at me right now.
“It’s time for you to tell me what’s going on.” He lifts one eyebrow. “I’ve noticed your performance in the arena hasn’t been the same, and now this. I need all of you to be at your best, and you know that. So tell me what’s troubling you.”
I don’t want to tell him. I have some hope that Tordax, of all my fellow warriors, will understand—after all, he recently found his Irisa in Rose. He knows how it feels, the compelling urge to claim one’s mate, the struggle of waiting for the woman whom the bond has chosen to accept it too.
And his mate is a Terran woman as well. Just like Autumn, Rose was suspicious and distrustful at first.
But Tordax also has more on his mind than usual, and I feel guilty as I look at his stern, worried face. With Malav gone, he’s missing his second-in-command, the one who has been his right hand since they were children. And none of us have any idea where Malav has gone, how to find him, or if he’s even still alive.
All of the insecurities that I try so hard to keep at bay wash over me in a rush—that I’m not as noble, reliable, or steady as Malav, not as trustworthy or unflappable. I’m reckless and impulsive, hotheaded and roguish and sometimes even careless, and everyone on the force knows it. They’ve always known it.
I’ve never been the choice to be anyone’s second-in-command, because I’m the wild card. I’m not what my commander needs right now, and I’ve never been more aware of it.
I don’t want to admit that the reason for my lack of focus is a woman, that I’ve been distracted so thoroughly by my own desires. But I can’t lie to Tordax. He’s my commander, the warrior who has led me into battle a dozen times, and he deserves my honesty.
And I trust him completely, beyond anyone else.
I look at him directly, my gaze as even and serious as I can manage, and speak without faltering.
“Commander, my soul has recognized its mate.”
For a second, it’s clear that Tordax is stunned. And then he smiles, genuine pleasure breaking across his face as he relaxes.
“That’s wonderful, Sorsir.” His voice is lighter, almost hopeful. “I’d hoped that it might be the case for others as well. So, which of the Terran women with us has your soul claimed?”
Krax. I wince. This is going to be harder than I expected.
“It’s not any of the women we rescued,” I say, wanting to mumble but forcing myself to speak clearly. I take a deep breath. “She is Terran, though. I saw her in one of the bars when I went to have a drink after a fight. She was a dancer there. I should have known immediately that she was my soul’s mate—I couldn’t stop myself from going back again and again after the first time I saw her. I lost all interest in the idea of any other female, and the idea of the males there watching her made me… furious.” I pause, swallowing hard.
Tordax is watching me carefully. “And has she accepted the mate bond?”
I shake my head reluctantly. “She is being hunted by other aliens. A Shaga mercenary attacked her in the streets a few days ago.” My jaw clenches as I force the words out. “She has been… hurt, I believe. By other species of alien. She is reluctant to tell me much, and when we’ve touched…”
I hesitate, a fresh wave of anger and sadness rushing through me.
“She is afraid of intimacy,” I say at last. “Afraid of my touch. Despite my promises to protect her, she is not planning to stay. She plans to leave in order to escape those who are hunting her. I killed the alien who tried to attack her and have kept her safe in my pod since then. And…” I s
wallow hard. “She has a child.”
As I’ve spoken, Tordax’s smile has faded, his face going from pleased to serious to concerned. My stomach sinks as his expression turns back to stern, and I know that this is not going to go as I hoped.
“I need to speak with her,” Tordax says flatly. “Now.”
12
Autumn
Before he leaves for the day’s training, Sorsir instructs me not to leave the pod.
To be completely honest, it makes me want to do the exact opposite of what he’s told me, but I know that’s not wise, and so I reluctantly stay inside. I’m missing my routine already, the familiarity of my own pod, my daily habits with Chloe—even my job. My pod was run down and shabby, my job sometimes humiliating and always stressful, but they were familiar. They were mine.
Now I’m in limbo, relying on the protection of an alien I barely know, with the future ahead of us blank and uncertain.
In the early afternoon, I put Chloe down for a nap, determined to keep her schedule as similar as possible. Then I while away my time poking around the living space, trying to get a better grasp on who Sorsir is while he’s away. I look around the small bedroom for clues, but he doesn’t have many belongings.
It’s clear that the men of Sorsir’s race don’t place a heavy emphasis on clothing—something that makes me flush hot every time I think about it—and there’s very little else in the way of possessions either. My impression is that he doesn’t have a great deal of memories he’s trying to preserve. There are no small knickknacks or tokens lying around, no photos or drawings or anything else.
It’s very obvious that he doesn’t have a girlfriend back home or anyone he has a romantic attachment to. There are no love letters or tokens of affection or pictures or anything, and I try to shove down the flush of happiness that fills me at the realization that he is almost certainly single and unattached.
I have absolutely no reason to feel that way.
But I do, I admit as I walk out into the living room, still glancing around for anything that gives me insight into Sorsir.
I can’t stop myself from thinking about the fascinating duality of him. Strong and savage, masculine and undoubtedly brutal if need be… but also attentive, even sweet. He’s been kind to me and Chloe, protecting us without any reason to do so—except for this thing that he’s called me, his Irisa.
I don’t fully understand what the word means, but I can grasp enough to understand that it’s some kind of bond, some relationship that he wants with me.
From the way he reacts to me, I know it’s sexual, a thought that makes me shiver all over.
But is it more? Does he want… more?
My train of thought is interrupted by the sound of the door opening. I freeze guiltily, hoping Sorsir won’t realize that I’ve been poking around his pod. My heart lurches in my chest when he walks through the door and I realize he’s not alone.
There are three other aliens with him, clearly others of his species, since they look just like him—bronzed, muscled bodies, horns of varying lengths and colors, and wearing only the same sort of loincloth Sorsir wears, along with leather shoulder armor. One strides out in front as Sorsir holds the door open, and it’s clear without words that he’s the leader. He exudes power and dominance, and I shrink backward, fear filling me.
Sorsir might want me here, but that doesn’t mean the others with him do. And it’s clear to me that he isn’t the one in charge, no matter how powerful he might seem to me.
Just looking at these alien men frightens me. They’re massive, tall and broad and intimidating beyond words—no more so than Sorsir, but I was getting used to him. I was starting to feel just a tiny bit… comfortable around him. But these three are strange and terrifying.
The leader strides toward me, stopping a foot or so away with Sorsir and the other two men behind him.
“I am Tordax,” he says without preamble. “Commander of the Kalixian Alpha Force. Sorsir tells me that you are staying here with him. What is your name?”
My mouth feels dry, like it’s been stuffed with cotton. My pulse is racing, and my stomach seems to have shrunk down to a hard knot, but I clench my hands into fists to get my emotions under control. The sharp sting of pain where my nails dig into my palms helps a little.
“Autumn,” I manage to say thickly, resisting the urge to shrink back farther away from him. I lift my chin, not wanting him to see how much he frightens me.
“What are you doing here, in my warrior’s living quarters?”
“He… he asked me to stay.” I fight to keep my voice from shaking. “He saved me…”
“From an attack on you by another alien. Isn’t that right?”
I realize when Tordax says those words that his last question was rhetorical; he knows some of this already. He’s trying to make sure I’m not lying.
“Yes,” I choke out. “I… I was attacked on my way home from work, and Sorsir defended me. He asked me to come here for… for my own safety…”
Fuck. My voice is starting to tremble. I can’t help it. There are so many of them, I don’t stand a chance if they want to hurt me. It reminds me of other times, of other strange, alien creatures crowding around me, and those memories make it hard to keep my panic at bay.
“And why did that alien attack you?” Tordax’s voice is harsh, his eyes narrowed.
Before I can try to respond, Sorsir steps forward, putting himself between me and Tordax as his shoulders square, his body somehow looking more imposing than ever as he stares down his commander. All I can do is stand there, frozen in place, terrified by Tordax’s questioning and even more shocked that Sorsir is willing to defy his leader for me.
Why?
“She’s frightened,” Sorsir says in a low, dangerous tone. “There’s no need for this. She means us no harm, and you know that.”
For a moment, the air seems to crackle between them, tension building as Tordax glares angrily at Sorsir, clearly unused to having his authority challenged. It’s clear that Sorsir is not his equal in rank, and that this is out of the ordinary. I brace myself to run if there’s a fight. I’m not sure anyone in the vicinity would survive if these two men unleashed their brutal power on each other.
But then, thank god, the tension breaks.
Tordax steps back, his demeanor relaxing a little as he shakes his head.
“My apologies. I didn’t think my approach through fully.” He dips his chin slightly, and I’m not certain if he’s speaking to Sorsir, or to me, or to both of us. He turns to one of the men behind him. “Vrexen, will you go fetch Rose? She’s in our quarters.”
The Kalixian warrior nods sharply, turning and leaving the room. Silence settles over the small pod, and my skin prickles with nerves as I force my lungs to keep drawing in air.
A few moments later, Vrexen opens the door again, ushering someone new inside.
A woman.
A human woman.
My jaw falls open slightly as I watch her walk in. Vrexen nods deferentially to her and closes the door behind her.
She’s of medium height with a beautiful face and soft blonde hair tied up on her head in a loose bun. She’s dressed in one of the lightweight wrap blouses and loose harem-style pants that so many of the women in this city favor.
As hard as it is to believe, the newcomer is clearly human. And despite how gorgeous she is—her face is beautiful and flawless, her eyes a bright green, her figure perfect in the slightly revealing top that shows her flat stomach—she looks kind. She looks like someone I might’ve been friends with back on Earth, and I instinctively want to trust her.
She walks right up to the other aliens without fear, and from the way she looks at the leader, Tordax, it’s clear to me suddenly that she’s with him.
They’re… together.
It fills my head with a slew of new questions. Is this something their species desires? Mating with humans? Is that why Sorsir wants me?
An alien man took me as his unwilling bri
de once before, but my abduction by the Orkun and subsequent “marriage” to Ivuk don’t bear any resemblance to what I see before me now. Rose’s green eyes warm as she presses a kiss to Tordax’s lips, and when they break apart, he looks down at her with possessive tenderness in his expression.
They look like they’re madly in love.
I’m filled with curiosity and fear all at once, but I don’t have time to dissect their relationship, because just then Chloe comes toddling out of the bedroom, her eyes sleepy, woken by all the voices and noise.
The moment she steps into the room and Tordax catches sight of her, he freezes in place, his face hardening as he takes in her features, and I feel myself go cold.
Oh God, what now?
Rose’s entrance into the room made everyone relax, but now the tension comes rushing back with a vengeance, and my fear returns tenfold as all eyes in the room turn toward my little girl.
“That child is part Orkun.” Tordax’s voice is flat and toneless. The air in the room thickens at his pronouncement, the aliens all seeming to shift their weight as if preparing for battle.
Bile crawls up my throat.
I’ve been able to see hints of Chloe’s alien heritage in her features ever since the day she was born, but it’s never changed how I feel about her in the slightest. She’s sweet, brave, and funny, and I’ll love her until the day I die no matter who her father is.
But I remember in a sudden rush what Sorsir told me—that the Orkun are enemies of his people. Will these men be able to see past her lineage to the innocent girl beneath it all?
Fear explodes inside me as I cross the room in a flash and crouch down beside Chloe, wrapping my arms around her. Pressing her close to my chest, I turn to look back at them, my heart hammering painfully against my ribs.
What are they going to do?
13
Sorsir
