by Presley Hall
“That child is part Orkun.”
Tordax’s declaration rings in my ears as I turn to look at Chloe, the little girl innocently toddling out of the bedroom to see what all the commotion is about.
At first, I can’t believe it. She’s so sweet and innocent. I can only see Autumn in her, the human part of her. But as I gaze at her with new eyes, I realize I’ve been blinded by my feelings for her mother. It’s not that those hints of Chloe’s Orkun side weren’t there, but only that I didn’t want to see them.
It’s not obvious, not to the average viewer, but now that I study her closely, I can see the hints of her Orkun blood in her features—in the slight wrinkles of her forehead, the shape of her nose and eyes, the faint texture of her skin. Anyone giving her only a passing glance would assume that she’s human, but a deeper examination reveals the alien in her.
She’s the daughter of an Orkun man.
The daughter of our enemy.
And with that realization comes the brutal truth of what must have happened to Autumn. Because no Terran woman—no female at all, really, outside of their own species—would willingly mate with an Orkun. Would willingly bear their child. My heart seizes in my chest as it becomes clear to me. Autumn has a history with the Orkun, and nothing about it can be good.
My Irisa has, as I suspected, been hurt badly. And the fact that it’s at the hands of our enemy fills me with a rage that I never knew was possible.
The moment Tordax speaks, I feel the others around me tense. Terror flashes across Autumn’s face as she runs to grab her daughter, wrapping her arms around the child as she looks at us fearfully, as if waiting for Tordax to make some pronouncement as to their fate. It’s clear that she’s struggling not to let Chloe know that she’s afraid, to keep herself from panicking entirely, but I can feel the razor’s edge of control that she’s riding as she tries to hold it together.
The mate bond flares within me, the urge to protect her filling me even more intensely than it did a moment ago when Tordax frightened her.
I realize then that it’s not only Autumn I’m desperate to keep safe. It doesn’t matter that Chloe isn’t my offspring, that she’s the daughter of some Orkun raider; I’ll protect her with everything I have as surely as I will Autumn.
I would die for her—for either of them.
It’s a new and terrifying knowledge, to be so tightly bound to someone, to feel so intensely for them. I’ve never felt that kind of dedication to anything outside of my mission, the men I fight with, or the people I fight for. It’s dizzying, but I can’t think too deeply about it now.
“Autumn,” I tell her, my voice rumbling deep in my chest, but gentle nonetheless. “No harm is going to come to you or to Chloe. Not while I’m alive. I swear it.”
She looks up at me with wide, frightened eyes, her gaze flicking back and forth between me and Tordax. I can tell that she wants to believe me, but she doesn’t trust the others.
And why would she?
Why would she trust any alien?
“Sorsir is right.” Tordax shakes his head slightly, as if he’s trying to dislodge the shock that assailed him at the sight of Chloe’s face. “No harm will come to either of you. The child’s lineage is not her fault.”
“You’re safe here,” Rose adds, “I promise. The Kalixians are honorable people. The other women and I were abducted by Orkun warlords, stolen from our lives on Earth. And it’s thanks to Tordax and his men that we’re safe. You’ll be all right. I promise.”
Autumn jerks visibly at that. She blinks at Rose, a look of surprise and understanding settling over her face.
“You were taken by the Orkun?” she asks softly.
“Yes.” Rose’s green eyes darken slightly, then she shoots a look at Tordax. “But we were saved before the marriage ceremony could be completed, thank god.”
“I’m glad. That’s—that’s good.”
Autumn lets out a shuddery breath as she relaxes a little, the whites of her wide eyes becoming less visible. She still hugs Chloe close to her, cradling the girl to her chest.
Krax, I want to hold Autumn as tightly as she’s holding her child.
I shift on my feet, barely holding myself back from stepping forward and doing just that. I want to comfort my mate, would give anything to be able to erase her fear.
Rose glances at me, her eyes narrowing, and then back at Autumn. When she looks at me again, I can see that she’s picking up on my emotions. She clearly understands something of what’s happening here—that it’s at least similar to what passed between her and Tordax. She chews on her lower lip thoughtfully and glances up at her mate, then slowly approaches Autumn and Chloe, crouching down in front of the little girl.
“Hi, Chloe,” she says sweetly. “Would you want to go get a snack? I have some fresh Pervanian fruit in my room. It’s really good, and there’s more of it than I can eat. Would you like some?”
Chloe gives a wide smile and nods. She doesn’t seem afraid of Rose or anyone else in the room.
“Yes! I want some,” she chirps, her voice sweet and clear.
Rose looks over the child’s shoulder at Autumn. “Is that all right?” she asks gently. “I promise I’ll keep her safe. We’ll just go get a snack and come back here in a little while. I think maybe you and Sorsir need a minute alone to talk.”
Autumn hesitates, but after a moment’s pause, she nods.
“All right,” she says softly. “Just for a little while.”
I can hear the nervousness in her voice, and I know that if Rose wasn’t human—one of her own kind—she never would have agreed. And now I understand why she’s so hesitant to trust me or any alien. She’s been abused by the worst of them, the vilest of species in the galaxy.
Just thinking about it makes my blood boil, makes me want to go out and exterminate every Orkun I can find, without mercy or hesitation.
Autumn glances up at me, and my heart races as her blue eyes meet mine. I can feel Tordax and the other two warriors who came with us looking at me, and when I glance toward them, there’s understanding in Tordax’s eyes as well.
Desh, that’s a relief.
“We’ll give the two of you some time to speak alone.” My commander gives me a single nod before gesturing to Vrexen and M’Taki to leave with him.
Rose scoops Chloe up in her arms. The little girl giggles as the Terran woman swings her back and forth, then grins as she waves goodbye to her mother.
“Let’s go find that fruit,” Rose tells her, following Tordax and the others out of the room.
Autumn is still kneeling on the floor, looking dazed, and I gently reach down, helping her to her feet. She looks at me with eyes that are still wide and nervous in her delicate face, and I resist the urge to wrap my arms around her and crush her to my chest, no matter how badly I want to.
“Tell me what happened,” I say softly. It’s not a request, but neither is it a harsh demand. “I need to know, Autumn. What did they do to you?”
She looks at me, licking her lips as she hesitates. I can tell that she doesn’t want to talk about it, that she doesn’t want to tell me. But the time for secrets is past. I have to know the truth.
For a long moment, I don’t think she’ll say anything at all. She glances at the door as if she’s thinking of bolting.
But then her gaze shifts back to me, and whatever she sees in my face makes some of the tension bleed from her body.
Finally, she opens her mouth and begins to speak.
14
Autumn
I told myself that I would never tell anyone, that I would never speak of it. That I would let it all stay behind me after I ran and try to forget. I don’t want to tell Sorsir now, but as I look up into his determined dark eyes, I know I don’t have a choice.
He’s willing to protect me, but he has to know why. He has to know what he’s protecting me from, and I suppose I owe him that much.
The truth, in exchange for my safety.
“I was abducte
d from Earth,” I say softly, wrapping my arms around myself as a chill washes over me. “Five years ago. I was nineteen. Just another missing person, a girl who ran into the wrong people and disappeared. It wasn’t all that rare in the city where I grew up. From what I was able to glean, I was given to the Orkun as a gift. A tribute in exchange for their ‘mercy.’ I was one of five other women who were taken and given to their warlords as brides.”
My voice starts to shake as I remember it—the day that I was handed over to my new husband, the terror that washed over me as I looked at him and realized what was going to happen. It all comes back to me in an awful rush that makes it hard to breathe.
I try to keep my voice even, to sound strong, but it’s hard. Because the months that followed that fateful day were the worst of my entire life.
“There was… a ceremony.”
I turn red with shame as I try not to remember it in any detail. Even saying the words makes my stomach turn over with nausea. Sorsir’s face hardens, his eyes darkening with anger, and I know he understands exactly what I’m referring to.
“Afterward, once the ceremony was complete, he took me back to his home and kept me there. I was more a slave than a wife. It was months before I was able to find a way to escape. But once I realized I was pregnant… I had to get away. I couldn’t let my baby be raised by those… those monsters. I realized I’d rather die. I’d rather both of us die than live our lives among them. So I ran.”
I swallow hard, watching pain steal over Sorsir’s face as he listens to me talk. His jaw is clenched so tight that the muscles on the side of his face are taut.
My heart cracks as I take in his expression.
He looks beyond pained. He looks… tortured.
And it dawns on me suddenly why he looks so wrecked by my story.
I know some of his history with the Orkun, and even without knowing the details, I know that his people despise that alien race. I saw Tordax’s expression when he realized Chloe’s parentage.
And now I’ve just told him that I was abducted and taken prisoner by them, made an unwilling bride to one of their warlords. I don’t understand fully what this Irisa concept is, what it makes me to him, but I can’t see how he would want me now that he knows the truth.
I’m unclean, ruined. Violated by his enemy, by the scum of the galaxy. Why would he desire me after learning that? He’ll never want to touch me again.
That realization shouldn’t break my heart, but it does. I’ve tried to deny the pull between us for the entire time I’ve been here, arguing against the strength of whatever it is that’s drawing us together. But as I stand here now, bracing myself for his rejection, I’m struck by the knowledge that I’ve lost him before he was even mine.
And I’m crushed by it.
I lift my chin, trying to summon all of the inner strength that’s gotten me this far, bracing myself for whatever his reaction is, whatever disgust I’ll see on his face.
I’ve borne worse, I tell myself. I can bear this.
And then, to my utter shock, Sorsir leans forward and captures my face gently in both of his hands, his lips coming down on mine.
The kiss isn’t fierce—not like our previous kisses. It’s soft and tender, his lips brushing over my mouth as if he wants to remember this moment, his thumbs running over my cheekbones and his fingers sliding into my hair as he gently moves his mouth against mine, the warmth of his tongue just brushing over my lower lip.
I feel myself lock up, my body freezing in place as the desire he always rouses in me tangles with fear and shame, the memories of what has come after this in the past making my blood run cold despite how much I want him.
And I do, I can’t deny it. I don’t know what woman wouldn’t, and here in his arms, it’s impossible to pretend I don’t.
But I’m afraid.
I’m so fucking scared.
Sorsir doesn’t stop. His touch stays soft and gentle as his hand in my hair strokes the back of my head. His lips move to my cheek, tracing the line of my jaw as his other arm curls around my waist, and when his mouth trails over my ear, his soft whisper stirs my hair.
“I’m sorry, Autumn. I’m so sorry.”
Tears spring to my eyes, and my heart crashes hard against my ribs. I blink them back, then close my eyes entirely as I try to sort through the cacophony of emotions brewing inside me.
“It doesn’t matter,” I mutter, barely conscious of the words coming out of my mouth. “I’m alive. I escaped.”
Sorsir draws back for a moment, his eyes darkening as his lips press together slightly. “It does matter, Autumn. You matter.”
He closes the space between us again, and his mouth brushes over my throat. His large palm is warm against the small of my back as his lips trail down the column of my throat, making my skin prickle and shivers run through my body.
This isn’t like what I remember. Not at all.
It’s gentle and sweet, his touch caressing me the way someone would touch something precious, something they don’t want to damage. Desire pools in my stomach and flows outward through my veins, tendrils of it sweeping through my body as I start to soften in his arms.
His breath warms my skin as he speaks again. “Gods, you’re beautiful.”
I can feel the desire in him, the barely restrained lust flooding his body, but there’s nothing hard or demanding about his touch. When he picks me up, my legs go around his waist without thinking, his hands holding me as if I weigh nothing at all, and he carries me into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him.
This is it, I think to myself as he lays me back down onto the bed, my head on the pillow. This is where he takes whatever he wants, however he wants it.
But to my surprise, he doesn’t strip off his loincloth, or roll me over, or roughly climb atop me. Instead he gets onto the bed next to me, his massive body stretched out alongside mine, and he runs his fingers through my hair as he kisses me again, softly. His lips are warm and full, gently coaxing my desire to the surface. When he hears me whimper softly against his mouth, my back arching as I begin to give in to it and squirm slightly against him, he runs his hand down my side, to the edge of the tunic I’m wearing.
He rises up on his knees then, watching my face carefully as he draws it up my body, slowly revealing my flat stomach and narrow waist, then my ribs, and finally my small breasts. He pauses for a half a second, as if waiting to see if I’ll protest, and then pulls the shirt off the rest of the way, throwing it aside as he joins me on the bed again.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers for a second time.
There’s a sexy roughness in his voice as he strokes my side. His hand makes its way up toward my breasts, and I gasp when I feel his broad palm cup one, his thumb stroking over the nipple that hardens almost immediately under his touch. I can feel him against my thigh, rock-hard, the loincloth barely a courtesy at this point.
I know he wants me. The evidence of his desire is more plain than any man or alien I’ve ever known, but he makes no move to try to force me to touch him in any way, no move to take me and slake his desire.
His attention is wholly focused on me.
On my responses.
On my pleasure.
Sorsir’s lips move to my neck again as he caresses my breasts, toying with my nipples until I’m moaning, my fingers curling into the sheets as he sucks softly at the skin on my throat. For a brief second he sucks harder, as if he wants to mark me, and then he stops himself, a fine shudder going through his body. He shifts his weight, gently pushing my legs apart as he kneels between them and leans over me.
I tense, the desire ebbing for a second as my eyes fly open, wide and nervous as I look up at him.
“Shh,” he whispers gently, stroking my cheek. “I won’t hurt you, Autumn. Ever.”
His breath fans over my skin before he drops his head to kiss me softly again. When his mouth leaves mine, he looks into my eyes. His irises, normally a rich, deep green, have shifted to an entrancing g
olden color. I stare into them, mesmerized, as he looks back at me with the same intensity.
As if he’s trying to memorize me with his gaze. To capture this moment in his mind for all eternity.
“The past does matter,” he murmurs, his voice rumbling with truth. “But it doesn’t change how I feel about you. I wish it had never happened to you, my Irisa, but it doesn’t change who you are.”
His words seem to land directly in my heart, and my breath hitches a little as I absorb what he’s saying—how much he means every word he speaks.
Sorsir’s actions match his words. His touch is still tender and worshipful as his hand trails over my shoulder and back down to my breast. He bends his head, his tongue sliding over the nipple of my other breast as he lightly squeezes the one in his hand, and I gasp at that, the pleasure of it going through me like a shock as I arch upward instinctively, wanting more.
“I want all of you,” he murmurs.
His hand glides down my waist, his lips caressing my breast for a moment before he moves downward, kissing the space between them, his mouth blazing a path down to my stomach.
I want you too.
The words hover at the tip of my tongue, unspoken. But my body speaks for me, responding to his touch the way it’s never responded to anyone else’s.
“You’re not broken or ruined.” Sorsir’s voice is a deep rumble. “You’re perfect, Autumn. Inside and out.”
His hands go to the waist of my pants, pulling them down over my hips, and I let him, my legs parting without a thought. After working them down my legs, he tosses them aside and slides his hands up the inside of my naked thighs. A small groan spills from his lips as he kisses one of my hipbones and then the other, his teeth scraping lightly over my curves in a way that makes me shiver.
And then I realize what he’s about to do.
It never even occurred to me until right this moment. It’s been so long since a man has done this to me that I’ve all but put it out of my head, and even back then—when I was a teenager, maybe?—it certainly wasn’t all that great. Nothing like what I read about or heard from my girlfriends when we gossiped about sex.
