The Newcomer

by Laura Elizabeth Woollett

  Couldn’t see. Couldn’t unsee. And then Car was there, tearing the photo from her fingertips.

  And then he was grabbing her by the ponytail, and then he was bashing her unconscious.

  DRIFTWOOD

  ‘I should be past this stage.’ Judy grabbed another tissue. ‘Waking up in tears.’

  ‘Remember what we said about the word “should”, Judy,’ Agnes replied gently. ‘Remember what we said about “stages”.’

  ‘I know, you don’t like that language.’ Judy sniffed. ‘Just, it’s been two years.’

  ‘And you’ve loved her for thirty-two.’

  ‘I should be past this, though.’

  ‘It’s not a straight line. It’s not a ladder you can climb until you reach a place where it doesn’t hurt. Remember what we said, Judy? How grief is like the ocean?’

  ‘I know. There are calm times and stormy times.’

  ‘What else?’

  ‘It comes and goes in waves.’

  ‘What else?’

  ‘It contains a lot. All the living things. All the treasure. All the garbage. Shipwrecks. Sea monsters.’

  ‘What else?’

  ‘Sometimes it glitters in the sun. Sometimes it kills you with its coldness.’

  ‘Anything else?’

  ‘You can spend your whole life searching the depths and never find the answers.’

  ‘And that’s okay. Searching is what humans do.’

  ‘I have to set my alarm early. It’s so hard getting out of bed.’

  ‘That’s okay. Think of it as your morning prayers.’

  ‘I don’t know. That’s a nice idea, but that’s not how it feels. It’s agony.’

  ‘Losing a child is agony. It’s okay to make room for that agony in your life. It doesn’t mean you’re not alive.’

  ‘I just miss her so much.’

  Judy cried for a while, until the cell phone Caro had bought her for her fifty-fourth birthday buzzed again in her handbag. ‘Gawd!’ She wiped her eyes. ‘It’s like a mosquito in a megaphone.’

  ‘Want to answer it?’

  ‘I answered phones all day.’ Judy half-smiled. ‘I’m not paying you to watch me answer another one.’

  Agnes laughed. Then she looked at Judy a while more. Judy looked at the clock.

  ‘We still have a little time.’ Agnes waited. ‘Would you like to talk about your parents again? You had a lot to say last time.’

  Judy waved her hand. ‘They’re not important.’

  Agnes cocked an eyebrow.

  ‘They weren’t bad people.’ Judy shrugged. ‘They were just old-fashioned.’

  ‘You said something last time about Marko. How he was your way of rebelling.’

  ‘I don’t know. It wasn’t calculated. I fell for him, hard.’

  ‘But you were disappointed when they approved of him?’

  ‘I mean, if Caro had brought home another woman’s husband. And a wog, at that …’ Judy blushed. ‘That’s what we called foreigners, back then. It’s not a nice word.’

  ‘That’s alright. Go on.’

  ‘If it was Caro, they would’ve disowned her. No question.’ Judy dashed a tear. ‘But because it was me, it was all: a doctor! Well done, Jude! So handsome! So European!’

  ‘How did that make you feel?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Judy shrugged again. ‘It was worse for Caro.’

  ‘It was worse for Caro. But that doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid.’

  ‘Just, I was a teenager. I didn’t even know myself. I shouldn’t of been marrying a forty-year-old … and they shouldn’t of been patting me on the back for it.’

  Agnes nodded.

  ‘I was horrified when Paulina took up with that dirty old rabbit man, and she was almost thirty!’ Judy raised her damp eyes. ‘Why do men do that? Go after girls half their age?’

  ‘I don’t know. They do, though.’

  ‘I guess it goes both ways; I was willing. I was head-over-heels.’ Judy’s handbag buzzed again. ‘Oh, for chrissakes!’

  ‘Do you want to get that?’

  ‘No.’ Judy shook her head. ‘Thank you, though.’

  ‘You were head-over-heels?’

  ‘Of course. He was a doctor. He came from a country I’d never even heard of. I’d never been further than the Central Coast. It wasn’t hard for him, impressing an eighteen-year-old from Seven Hills.’

  Agnes watched her take another tissue.

  ‘I don’t mean he wasn’t a good man. He adored me. He adored Paulina. He gave me Paulina, what’s more.’ Judy wiped her nose. ‘Just, even now, I’m so mixed up when I think of him. I’m so old, but I’m so mixed up. I really miss him, then I get angry that he put me through all that when I was so young; I mean, breaking up another woman’s family.’

  Agnes’ eyes strayed, barely perceptibly, to the clock.

  ‘Is it time?’ Judy asked.

  ‘I’m afraid so.’ Agnes smiled. ‘But we can pick up where we left off next week. And you can finally see who that is who keeps calling you.’

  Judy stood with Agnes. ‘It’s probably some telemarketer.’

  ‘See you next week, Judy. And thank you for sharing.’

  At reception, after handing over her card, Judy dug her phone from her handbag.

  Six missed calls. Three text messages, all from Caro; the latest one a nonsensical scream:

  HAIR!!!!!

  Judy was still sitting in her car when Agnes came out of her office. Agnes glanced at the windscreen, then noticed Judy; registered shock, courtesy. Embarrassed, Judy returned her smile. Rolled down her window.

  ‘Sorry. I’m not a creepy stalker or anything,’ Judy apologised. ‘I just got some news. Good news … I think. Now I don’t know what to do with myself.’

  ‘Oh?’ Agnes’s eyebrows went up. ‘About the case?’

  Judy nodded.

  ‘They found her hair in someone’s car. After all this time.’

  Agnes’s face crumpled strangely.

  ‘Do you need a tissue?’ Judy opened her handbag.

  ‘No. Thank you.’ Agnes recovered. ‘Thanks for telling me, Judy. That makes me so happy.’

  ‘I don’t know if I’m happy. Well, I am. I don’t know how to feel it, though. I don’t know what to do with myself.’

  ‘Have you talked to your sister?’

  ‘She wants to get drunk and have a sleepover.’ Judy rolled her eyes. ‘I can’t be bothered.’

  ‘I’m so happy for you.’

  ‘It was just sitting on someone’s land the whole time. The people who own the land didn’t realise; they were living in Christchurch. They came back and found this abandoned Camry and now …’ Judy laughed. ‘Wozniak was telling me all this stuff about the case and I just blurted out: “Can I see it? Can I see the hair?” He must think I’m dotty!’

  ‘You’re not dotty. It’s a wonderful idea.’

  ‘Just, I always regretted not being the one to ID her.’

  ‘That’s understandable.’

  ‘Anyway, Wozniak said he’d try to make it happen next week. I’ll have to go to Canberra.’ Judy’s eyes widened. ‘Oh! I might miss therapy.’

  Agnes laughed. ‘I’ll let you off the hook this once.’

  ‘I’ll have to go to Canberra … I’ve never been to Canberra.’ Judy remembered. ‘Oh, wait, yes I have. We went down there about a month after it happened. I barely remember it; I was so drugged up. Just this big table and all these suits.’

  ‘You’ll have a better time, this time. It’s quite lovely this time of year, with all the trees. They have some nice galleries.’

  ‘I don’t care about galleries. I just want to see her hair.’

  ‘You’ll have a lovely time, Judy. Call if you need to cancel.’ Agnes pressed he
r hand. ‘I’m so happy for you. You’ve made my day.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Judy smiled. ‘See you later.’

  She rolled her window back up, sat in the car for a while. Then she drove back to her empty house.

  It was like nothing Judy had ever seen before. But she kept trying to say what it looked like.

  ‘It’s a bit like a tree branch, isn’t it?’ Judy lifted her eye from the microscope. ‘Like a branch, covered in rain.’

  ‘That’s the root,’ the lab tech told her. ‘That bit that looks like rain.’

  Then he did something different with the microscope.

  ‘It looks a bit burnt when you do that!’ Judy marvelled. ‘Like a burnt match!’

  ‘Want to see it with the dark field?’

  Judy nodded.

  ‘Oh, it’s so different! It’s like something in space!’ she babbled. ‘Like a wormhole in space. Or the tail of a comet. Or, something?’

  Then the lab tech brought the focus closer, and it became like a tree again.

  ‘It’s like a fallen tree in the forest.’ That made her a bit sad, though. ‘Or like driftwood. Washed up from the sea. It’s very beautiful.’

  ‘It is beautiful.’

  While Judy was wiping her eyes, another lab tech showed her some sheets of paper with stats on them. She didn’t understand any of it, but she nodded.

  ‘It’s a lot. For something so little. There’s a lot in it.’

  Later, meeting Wozniak for a coffee, he asked her how she’d liked the lab.

  ‘It was a lot to take in,’ Judy repeated. ‘I couldn’t stop gawking. I reckon they were sick of me, by the end of it. Distracting them from their work like that.’

  ‘They loved meeting you,’ Wozniak reassured her. ‘They don’t often get to put a face to the work they do.’

  Then he got down to business.

  ‘I’m sorry I can’t tell you more. We have to keep a tight lid on it, for now. But we’re working closely with the West Australian police. We’re building a case.’

  ‘WA.’ Judy shook her head. ‘Who would’ve thought.’

  After that, she walked along Lake Burley Griffin, looking at the trees and tree-reflecting water, until it was time to catch her flight home.

  Two weeks later, Wozniak gave her the name of the man they’d arrested. She’d never heard it before in her life.

  THE WALLS

  The first thing Paulina saw was the red light. Then she saw it wasn’t a red light; it was a white light with red around the edges. The red was in her eyes.

  She tried to wipe the blood from her eyes, then it hit her like fists.

  ‘Mum!’ she cried. ‘Mum!’

  The voices switched from Fayrf’k to English. ‘Don’t touch!’ the woman shouted, swooping down to her level.

  ‘Mum?’ Paulina bleated. ‘Mum?’

  ‘What’re you saying?’ The woman squinted. Light-green eyes. Not her mum’s eyes. ‘Stay still. Don’t talk.’

  ‘Mum? I want my mum.’

  ‘What’s she saying?’ The woman asked the man, and Paulina recognised him — his hulking shape. ‘Stay still, girl! Don’t move!’

  ‘Muuuuum!’

  The green eyes sparked with understanding.

  ‘Car. Out. Now.’

  Car muttered, threw a pale glance at Paulina, before skulking above deck, blood on his shirt.

  ‘Mum. Please? I want Mum.’

  ‘Not yet.’ Tabby sighed. ‘Shh. We have to get you cleaned up first. Do you want your mum to see you in this state?’

  There was too much light, then there wasn’t enough. They were making her climb to a dark place where it stank of dead fish.

  ‘No!’ Paulina saw the moon glimmering on the water. ‘I wanna go home.’

  ‘Shh,’ Tabby hissed. ‘You’re going home soon. But we have to get you to the car.’

  ‘No Car. Please. No.’

  ‘Not Carlyle. I mean a car that drives on the road. Do you remember what a car is?’

  ‘No!’

  ‘How many wheels does a car have? Tell me how many wheels.’

  Paulina struggled. ‘Get off me.’

  ‘If you fight, he’ll have to pick you up and carry you. Do you want Car to carry you?’

  ‘No!’

  ‘No? Okay, then. Walk with me. Slowly.’

  Paulina fell against her shoulder. ‘Am I dead?’

  ‘You’re not dead. You had an accident. You got drunk and had an accident. Silly girl.’

  ‘Fucking cow.’

  ‘There’s no need for that. Mind the step. We’re almost there.’

  She closed her eyes. Then she was in the backseat of a car that wasn’t hers, and Tabby was slapping her cheeks.

  ‘Not my car. Where’s mine? Mazda Astina.’

  ‘You drive a Mazda Astina?’ Tabby sounded impressed. ‘What colour?’

  ‘Blue, bitch!’

  ‘Very good.’

  Tabby said something in Fayrf’k. The driver laughed. Paulina recognised him all over again.

  ‘Shh. Don’t scream. That’s just the taxi driver. Do you know where your house is?’

  ‘Cherry Hill. Mum.’

  ‘Not your mum’s house, your house.’

  ‘With Ric?’

  Car laughed again. Paulina yelped. ‘Muuuum!’

  ‘Don’t worry about that taxi driver. He thinks he’s smart, but he’s not. He can’t even clean up his own messes. I’m going to clean you up and then you can see your mum. You want to look nice and clean for your mum, don’t you?’

  ‘Nice girl.’ Paulina’s eyelids fluttered. ‘Blue dress. Smashing Pumpkins.’

  Then there was a house, and a pale-aqua room in the house, and Car was gone. Then sleep. Tabby woke her up with a little flashlight in her eyes, put a thumb to her wrists. ‘Fuck you!’ Paulina clawed at her.

  ‘There’s no need for that. Do you need some water? Have some water.’

  Paulina pushed the glass away. ‘It hurts.’

  Tabby dipped her fingers in the water, moistened Paulina’s lips.

  ‘I know it hurts. I’ll give you some more painkillers soon. Have some water.’

  ‘Thirsty.’ Paulina opened her mouth. ‘Thirsty, Mum.’

  ‘I’m not your mum. Stop saying that.’ Tabby gave her more water. ‘Is it nice, the water? Want more?’

  ‘More.’

  ‘Just a little more. We don’t want you throwing up again.’

  ‘More, Mum.’

  ‘Please don’t call me that. My name’s “Tabby”. Remember?’

  ‘Cat’s name.’

  ‘Yes, like a tabby-cat. “Tabby”, not “Mum”.’ She withdrew her fingers. ‘That’s enough for now. We don’t want you throwing up. Or wetting the bed. Do you need the toilet?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Go back to sleep, then.’ Tabby watched her close her eyes. ‘It’s not so bad. Really. I’ve seen worse.’

  Paulina wet the bed. She didn’t mean to; she was dreaming.

  ‘Sea,’ she told Tabby. ‘Drowning.’

  ‘That’s not the sea.’ Tabby huffed. ‘That’s piss.’

  ‘Car’s boat. Accident.’

  ‘Not anymore. You’re in bed now. What a mess. I’ll have to turn you over. I’ll have to get rid of these wet things.’

  Tabby moved the blanket to the floor, lifted Paulina’s damp nightie. Paulina panicked.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Tabby said. ‘You can’t lie there in your own filth.’

  Paulina closed her eyes obediently. Tabby drew the nightie over her head. When she tried to peel off her knickers, though, Paulina’s legs clamped shut.

  ‘Don’t, Car. I don’t want to.’

  ‘Sorry.’ Tabby blinked. ‘I’ll get you some clean ones.’

>   She left the room, muttering to herself. Came back with clean knickers and a nightie with a rainbow-striped fish on the front.

  ‘Fish,’ Paulina said. ‘Fishing?’

  ‘You can put these on soon, but first we have to take those wet ones off. Are you ready?’

  Nodding, Paulina squeezed her eyes shut again.

  ‘Cold,’ she complained, drawing her knees up. ‘Ow!’

  ‘I’m sorry. I’ll change the sheets now. I’ll have to turn you.’ Arms akimbo, Tabby frowned down at Paulina. ‘We have to be careful of those ribs.’

  ‘Ribs?’

  ‘It’s only a fracture. You’re lucky he didn’t break anything.’ Tabby touched her mouth. ‘I mean, you’re lucky you didn’t break anything. It was a bad accident. You’re very silly, getting drunk and falling over like that.’

  ‘Not an accident.’

  ‘What do you mean? Yes, it was.’ Tabby laughed. ‘Sorry, but I’m going to have to turn you on your side. Your right side. It’ll hurt a bit, but I’ll be quick. I’ll be quicker if you work with me. Okay?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I’ll be quick. I’m going to move you by your shoulders, and you’re going to roll over to the wall. That blue wall. Okay?’

  ‘I’m scared, Mum.’

  ‘I’m not—’ Tabby sighed. ‘Come on. Towards the wall, like a good girl. Look at the blue wall. You’re going to roll over to the blue wall, on the count of three. Okay?’

  Paulina winced, nodded. On the count of three, Tabby placed her hands on Paulina’s shoulders, rolled her. Then a pain like sharp rocks in her sides.

  ‘Owwwww!’

  ‘Shhh. I know it hurts. Keep looking at the wall. The blue wall.’

  ‘Mum?’

  ‘Shh. It’s “Tabby”. I’m here. I’m just changing these sheets. Stay still.’

  Paulina stayed very still, staring at the wall.

  ‘You’ve got goosebumps, poor thing. Be patient. We’ll get rid of these wet things, then you can be nice and warm and dry in bed.’

  Paulina closed her eyes, waited patiently.

  ‘Good girl. We’ve got some new sheets now. I just need you to stay still while I do these corners. Very good.’

  Soon after, Tabby rolled her onto her back.

  ‘Here’s your nightie. I’ll put this over your head.’