Saving The Dark Side: Book 1: The Devotion

by Joseph Paradis

  Nana Beth looked slightly bemused as she mulled over his words. “Sleeping that much is unusual for you. If you still feel lousy tomorrow then you really ought to get checked out. Have to make sure it’s not something nasty like mononucleosis. My boys had it one right after the other, all from the same girl too. Have you been kissing all the pretty girls at school?”

  Cole let out a derisive chuckle. “Yeah, I wish. Or at least there’s one girl I wish I was kissing.”

  “You know, I have some experience in this matter. Believe it or not I used to be a pretty young thing myself. Would you like some advice?” Nana Beth leaned across the table. Cole could smell her perfume. It was nice, like a Yankee Candle. Not the typical old-person potpourri.

  Cole met her gaze, feeling a warm familiarity replace his chilly vulnerability. “From you? Of course.”

  “The heart is a stupid and powerful thing. When it yearns for something it’s going to let you know, day and night. It only gets worse from here on out and boy is it going to stick you in a few jams. Get to know your heart, Colton.” Nana Beth reached her vast arm across the table and gently tapped Cole’s chest. “When it wants something that you also want, you’ll do whatever it takes to get it. At the end of each day if you didn’t get it, then you clearly didn’t want it bad enough.”

  Chapter 4

  Questions

  Even though Cole went to bed early, he was still just as tired the next morning. More so perhaps, and he didn’t even have the tryouts to blame this time. Though he couldn’t stay awake in any of his classes he did manage to show up on time to every one. Joshua hadn’t forgiven him for the previous night’s betrayal at dinner, and wouldn’t sit next to him on the bus. Ashley was still ambiguous with her plans for the Fall Ball. Unable to muster the courage to ask, Cole managed to dance awkwardly around the subject whenever they talked in the hallway.

  After a couple sluggish days, his lethargy only seemed to be getting worse. Heeding Nana Beth’s advice, Cole had his mother schedule him an appointment with their family doctor. After several tests the doctor didn’t have any answers other than a possible late-pubescent growth spurt. Cole felt like he was spending more time asleep than awake, but more than that he was less connected. He kept forgetting simple yet important things such as money for lunch, or seeing that Joshy got on the bus after school. Hopefully he could shake whatever this was before the Fall Ball on Friday night.

  A gentle hand shook his shoulder. “Wake up hon, you’re gonna be late for school again.”

  “What time is it?” He coughed, clearing the gunk from his throat.

  “A little after seven. You sure you’re ok to go in today?” Tara sat on the edge of his bed and placed a hand on his forehead. “At least you don’t have a fever.”

  Cole groaned, covering his eyes with a pillow. “I’m already late. There’s no way I can make it to the bus in time.”

  Tara rose to her feet. “You get a pass today. I’m going in late so I’ll bring you and Joshy in. You gotta boogie though, chop-chop.”

  Cole would rather have walked. It was embarrassing enough to be one of the only seniors without a car, but to be dropped off by your mother was a whole different level. Cole did his best to hide the fact that he took the bus, slipping off quickly and joining the crowds funneling in from the student parking lot. It was a weak ploy, but he was pretty sure it worked. He always wanted his own car but for that he would need a job, which was impossible while he had to watch Joshua after school. His mom worked her bartending job most evenings, and Nana Beth was now in her eighties. It was up to Cole to be Joshy’s hero.

  “I’m not dropping you off from the parking lot. It’s too cold and you’re being stupid. Do I embarrass you that much?” The car’s engine whined as Tara pulled up to the main entrance.

  “It’s embarrassing to be the only one in my grade being dropped off by his mommy because he doesn’t have his own car.” Cole stretched his neck, trying to see who would see him being dropped off.

  Tara’s tone became icy, “Well whose fault is that? And don’t you dare say Joshy.”

  Cole ducked his head down. They just passed Ashley and her friends. “Then I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  Voice rising, Tara brought the car to an abrupt halt. “I don’t know, how about the person who decided to play video games and run around harassing the neighbors all summer instead of getting a job? How about the person who has two nights a week and weekend-days free but still doesn’t go out and find a job? Who do you think that might be, Cole?”

  Hot anger sparked through Cole. “I’m going to get a job all right? I won’t go to third cut and I’ll go get a job. Then I’ll have my own car and I’ll be looking for my own place this summer. Then you can find someone else to babysit your son five days a week.”

  “Do what you want, Cole. I’m telling you you’re in for a rude awakening once you hit the real world. The real world is gonna hit back, hard.” Tara looked past Cole, donning a smile that did not reach her eyes. “You better hurry up and get inside before Ashley sees you getting dropped off by your mommy.”

  “Ashee?” Joshy chimed in. It was as if he hadn’t heard a word of their argument until her name popped up. Without waiting, he shot out of the car door towards Ashley.

  “Bye Joshy, have a good day sweetie,” Tara called, and blew her youngest son a few kisses, which he returned with enthusiasm. “Bye Cole, have a-”

  Fearing the pet name and kisses Tara was likely to toss his way, Cole shut the door. “Let’s go Joshy, stop doing that, it’s embarrassing.” Joshy was still smooching the air. Cole grabbed his brother by the arm and dashed towards the crowd, hoping he could blend in before Ashley saw them. He was not quick enough, however.

  “Ashee!” Joshua’s bullfrog voice cut through brisk morning air like a crusty knife over silk.

  Cole swore. Of course Ashley heard him.

  “Joshua!” Ashley glided towards them. Cole admired the confident grace with which she moved. “Joshua you’re looking awful dapper this morning. And I love your haircut. Did your mom cut it?”

  “Yahahah!” Joshua was practically bouncing out of his Velcro shoes. He wrapped his short arms around Ashley’s middle and buried his face awkwardly in her chest.

  “Joshy calm down bud. Hey that’s enough, you don’t need to smother her. Sorry Ashley.” Cole seized his brother by the back of the coat and yanked.

  “Camaaan Cole!” There was Joshua’s famous scream again.

  “Oh, Cole be nice to him. He’s just saying hello, right Joshua?” She locked eyes with his little brother, who beamed up at her with a cartoonish, toothy grin. “You don’t need to be so high strung with him. Let the poor guy be will you?”

  “You don’t have to live with him every day though…” Cole stuttered. Clearly this was not what she wanted to hear, so Cole changed gears: “Besides we’re brothers, we give each other a hard time. It’s part of the job. You wouldn’t understand.”

  Ashley gave him a curt nod. “Okay, Cole. Brother-stuff, got it.” She bent down and gave Joshua a kiss on the cheek. “Bye Joshua, I’ll come swing by this afternoon okay? I hope you have a present for me again.”

  “Let’s go Ash, we need to stop at the store before the bell and grab one of the new school shirts. Didn’t you want to grab a bagel too?” Kyle Summers, one of Ashley’s statuesque suitors for the Fall Ball flicked her ear. He was a full head taller than Cole and had six-pack abs since elementary school.

  “Hey!” Ashley laughed, punching Kyle in the stomach with a very solid thunk. Cole thought that six pack might be a twelve pack at this point. “Alright, let’s make moves. Bye Joshua, Cole.”

  Thankfully, Cole made it to Mrs. Webster’s class on time this morning. He was determined to stay awake through the whole thing. He was getting sick of the strange comments from his teachers about his leaving the classroom. His grades were slipping as well, just as his head was currently slipping off his hand. Shaking off the mental grog, he took o
ff his hoodie and sat as tall as he could in his chair. At this point if he were to doze he would have to fall out of his seat. It seemed like a fool-proof plan. If only the subject were more interesting, he would have an easier time of it. Or maybe it was just Mrs. Webster’s droning voice. Twice, the students next to him had to stifle giggles as Cole nearly did fall out of the chair. By the end of the block he couldn’t tell if he had actually fallen asleep or not, but he certainly couldn’t recall what the lesson was about. He vaguely remembered something about the nineteen-twenties; jazz music, prohibition, and the invention of penicillin. Definitely not going to cut it for the quiz at the end of the week. At the end of the block Cole passed in his homework, his late homework, and extra credit assignments. Not that he was expecting Mrs. Webster to be overly pleased with him, but he was annoyed to see her confused expression when he approached her desk at the end of class. He got that same befuddled look at the end of every class, it seemed.

  “Thank you Mr. Carter. Um, excuse me but were you just in the bathroom…oh never mind,” she huffed as she waved Cole out of the room.

  The hallways were packed shoulder to shoulder. Cole meandered towards his next class. In the fuzzy corners of his mind he felt the urge to take the longer, less crowded route so he could catch Ashley before her next class, but couldn’t recall how to get there. Cole thought that if he were driving he would certainly be pulled over, appearing under the influence. This was what being drunk must have felt like.

  “Ouch, that’s my foot! Watch where you’re going!” squeaked a petite freshman girl, who had just received a flat-tire from Cole.

  “It’s too crowded in here,” Cole mumbled.

  The girl shot him a venomous glare and disappeared with a swish of her ponytail. Cole realized too late that he should have apologized, and made a mental note to do so the next time he saw her. He was proud of his moment of almost-chivalry, but by the time he made it to his destination he had completely forgotten about the frazzled freshman.

  Cole was too late to see Ashley, which was for the best because he would now be on time for Zoology. Cole may have been on great terms with the teacher Mr. Scroy, but his good credit was running low after a few days of sleeping through his lessons. Hopefully he could remain alert enough to at least appear to be paying attention.

  The topic of the day was certainly interesting enough to stay alert for. They were still in the rainforest, this time discussing the different food chains and how illegal logging had a ripple effect throughout the ecosystem. Cole was unusually alert. He answered every question Mr. Scroy asked and even chimed in with some well-educated input. Feeling particularly engaged, Cole even took it upon himself to step up to the front of the class. Everyone, even Mr. Scroy himself hung upon his every word. By the end of class the girl sitting next to him slipped him a piece of paper with her number on it. Looks like he had a date to the ball after all.

  WHAM

  “Have a good nap?”

  Heart racing, Cole jolted upright as Mr. Scroy reopened the textbook he had just slammed on Cole’s desk.

  The class exploded with laughter, but Cole was too disoriented to feel ashamed. “I, I thought I was awake!”

  “Why don’t you step outside with me for a minute? You and I are going to have a little chat.” Mr. Scroy stood over him, arms crossed. “Leave your bag, we’re not going that far.”

  Cole was expecting a scolding, but Mr. Scroy seemed more concerned than anything. After Cole explained several times over that he wasn’t on drugs, Mr. Scroy led him back into class.

  Before reaching the door, Mr. Scroy dropped his voice to a low whisper: “If you’re gonna nap then nap, but if you leave the room again just give me a heads up, okay?”

  Something significant clicked in Cole’s mind, but he wasn’t quite sure what it was. “Sure thing Mr. Scroy.”

  Cole managed to stay awake and in his seat for the rest of the block. He tried to pay attention, but something else kept nagging at him. Every teacher had accused him of leaving the classroom while he knew he was only sleeping. He wondered if this was his childhood disappearing act all over again, but he dismissed the idea at once. When he was a kid he’d vanished for days at time. People would have noticed if he had been missing for that long now, or at least he hoped they would. Cole checked the date on his watch just to be sure.

  The bell rang and Cole hurried out of the class. Ashley walked past him without noticing. She seemed troubled. Sneaking up behind her, Cole stretched his arm out and grabbed the two ornate chopsticks holding her hair up. The dark sheet of hair flowed and bounced like one of those shampoo commercials.

  “Hah, gotcha!” Cole’s smile curdled into alarm as Ashley whipped her head around and glared.

  “Oh, hey Cole. I thought you were Kyle.” With a deft motion, she snatched the chopsticks from his grip and wound her hair back into a high bun. The way she moved never ceased to leave Cole star-struck.

  “You feeling okay? You look like something’s wrong.” He didn’t expect her to divulge what was really wrong, but he was genuinely concerned all the same.

  “I’m fine. You don’t look so good yourself there Mr. droopy-eyes. Did you just wake up? You know people have been talking about you. About how much you’ve been sleeping in class.” To Cole’s satisfaction, Ashley now wore the look of concern.

  Cole opened his eyes in an attempt to look more awake. “I think I might be coming down with something. I’ve been super tired all week and sleeping something like fourteen hours a day. And no, it’s not mono. I went to the doctor’s yesterday and had some tests done. Are you headed this way?”

  “Yeah I was actually about to swing up to Joshua’s classroom to say hi. Do you want to come with? Maybe you can make up for being such a jerk to him this morning.” Ashley gave him a playful jab in the gut. The sound it made was much less impressive than when she had punched Kevin earlier. And it hurt.

  Cole looked away, hoping his face wouldn’t betray the dull queasiness radiating in his belly. “Yeah I’ve just got lunch next. I guess I could come up and say hi.”

  “As if you weren’t just about to ask me anyway,” Ashley beamed, turning on her heel. “Well come on then. I can’t wait to see what Joshua has for me.”

  This was the most time they had spent together in Cole’s recent memory. It was only a short walk and an even shorter visit with Joshy, but Cole would take what he could get. Joshua had made something for the both of them. For Ashley, he had written her name several times in his best penmanship on a nice piece of parchment paper, still illegible of course. He then gave Cole another one of his essays, highlighting Cole’s better attributes such as his strong grip and loud voice.

  Cole and Ashley wrapped up their visit and made their way to the cafeteria. This was a first. They were going to lunch together, so did that mean they would be sitting together? He was too nervous to broach the subject. Ashley however, was not. She invited him to come sit with her and her friends. He did his best to hide his excitement for the rest of the walk.

  His giddiness was short lived, however. The table was crowded by the time they got there. Ashley of course sat in the seat Kyle was saving for her. Cole squeezed in between Ashley’s friend Sarah and some hulking mass who played on the football team. His name might have been Dave, or was it Dan?

  Cole felt very much out of his element. He couldn’t hear Ashley, and none of the conversation at the table was relatable. So Cole did what he did best and sat there invisible, save for the occasional sideways glance from Sarah. Did he smell bad or did she always have that look on her face? At the end of lunch Cole sidled up next to Ashley, intent on walking her to her next class. She already had an escort, however. Cole faded back into the crowd as she wound her arm through Kyle’s.

  His time with Ashley left him with a bittersweet longing. When he was with her he was wide awake. He truly felt connected to the moment. Cole knew he was holding on to false hope that she might eventually see him in a romantic light, but he couldn’t h
elp how he felt. He was reconciled with his lot, yet it did nothing to quell the sick jealousy he felt when she was hanging all over Kyle.

  After lunch Cole went right back into his stupor. He took a nice long nap in the planetarium and managed to sleep with his eyes open in his last class. He was getting pretty good at this walking dead thing. The final bell didn’t even startle him when the blaring tone woke him. Cole tossed his backpack over one shoulder as he set off to Joshua’s classroom.

  “Hey Bud, you ready to go?” Cole yawned as he stretched his arms over his head. The massaging rumble of the bus seat was calling to him.

  “Oh you strong!” Joshua reached up and squeezed Cole’s biceps.

  “You bet. How was the rest of your day?” Cole helped Joshua put on his backpack before stepping out into the hallway.

  “I dunno.” Joshua shrugged his shoulders as if to say ‘just another day at the office’.

  “Always a conversationalist, aren’t you, Joshy?” Cole put an arm around his brother as they wound through the flowing crowds. “Hey Joshy, I’m sorry for being so rough with you. And the yelling. I’ve been doing it too much lately. Next time I do it go right ahead and smack me, will you?”

  Joshua raised his arms above his head, flexing his biceps, “Yahahah, I strong!”

  “Oh I know you are! Just don’t smack me too hard-I don’t want the girls to see me getting beat up by my little brother.” Joshua laughed as Cole jumped back in a feigned look of alarm.

  As usual, Cole took them the long way to the bus pick-up to avoid being seen. Joshua never questioned it. Cole could have walked them home and Joshua would have followed like an obedient little soldier.

  “Hey Joshy, I’m gonna take a little nap. Will you wake me up when we get to our stop?” Cole rearranged his backpack and sprawled himself over the bus seat.

  “I know,” Joshua said plainly.

  “Thanks Bud,” Cole yawned as he made himself comfortable. The soft bumps and steady vibrations of the big diesel engine lulled him into a heavy sleep. He always liked sleeping in cars.