The Road Trip At The End Box Set

by J N Wood

  ‘Yeah I know, but there’s one issue, no flights.’

  We sat in silence for a minute or so, until Jack suddenly perked up and looked at his phone.

  ‘As far as we can tell, the emails are sending, so the internet is obviously still on. Is your phone’s sat nav still working?’

  ‘Dunno,’ I replied. ‘The Sky News and BBC News apps aren’t updating, so I doubt it.’

  Jack scrolled through his phone. ‘Yeah but they’re probably not letting us see that kind of stuff.’ He looked up to the ceiling. ‘Fuck, my maps app isn’t working.’

  ‘Who’s not letting us see stuff? Where are we, North Korea?’ I asked.

  ‘Doesn’t matter, I just hoped the sat nav was still working. I need a map, have you seen a road map?’ Jack asked.

  ‘In the flat? Nope, but I’ve not been looking for one. Why?’

  Jack picked up the car keys, and headed towards the front door. ‘I’m sure I saw a Colorado map in the car, I’ll be back.’ He opened the door and walked out into the night.

  ‘Try not to die while you’re out there,’ I shouted after him.

  A few minutes later, he walked back in, much to my relief. He had a large road map in his hand. He sat on the sofa and opened up the map.

  ‘Right, okay then. San Jose to Denver is about fifteen hundred kilometres so—.’

  I interrupted him, ‘How do you know that?’

  ‘The little TV on the flight over here told me.’

  ‘Oh right, okay, carry on,’ I said.

  ‘That means it’s about one thousand miles, so…let’s say we average fifty miles per hour. That would be about twenty hours driving.’

  ‘You fucking what? We’re driving, that’s ridiculous. We don’t even know what’s actually out there yet.’

  ‘Well at this rate, we’ll never find out what’s happening. I can’t just sit here and wait Chris. Honestly, I don’t mind if you want to stay here and wait for Denver airport to reopen.’

  ‘What the fuck? Also, you can’t calculate it using a flight path, airplanes don’t have to worry about mountains and lakes and shit.’

  ‘Obviously I’m only using that number to get a basic idea. It’ll only be a few hundred miles out.’

  ‘Only a few hundred.’ I let out a long sigh and slumped back into the sofa.

  I really didn’t want to drive thousands of miles watching out for a killer plague at every corner. But I also didn’t want to sit and wait for Marky Mark to come home to find I’d eaten all his food. It didn’t take me long to make my mind up. To be honest, I was never going to send my friend off on his own. I reasoned with myself that I’d just get a flight home from San Francisco.

  ‘Okay, let’s drive across this fucking huge country. The holiday was always meant to be a road trip. When do you want to set off? If you say now I might start crying.’

  Jack was smiling. ‘No not tonight, I need to sleep, I didn’t get any last night. Let’s go first thing in the morning.’

  ‘I was really looking forward to visiting Deadwood, and Badlands,’ I murmured.

  ‘We can come back another time Chris.’

  I knew he’d want to set off as soon as possible. I would have much rather waited until things had settled down, but I didn’t want to start an argument over it.

  DAY THREE

  Where the fuck was I?

  Looking around at the dark space around me, I spotted a window. The curtains had not been pulled all the way closed, so I could see it was still dark outside.

  How did I get on this sofa in someone’s living room?

  Was I drinking last night?

  A split second later, my brain decided to start working again. Last night’s memories flooded back to me in a rush.

  There was a pretty bad smell emanating from under the blanket, I may have needed a shower.

  I was still knackered. It felt like I’d only been asleep for ten minutes. We had tried to stay awake to see if any emails came through, but exhaustion got the better of us. We had walked up a mountain yesterday, and then the events that followed turned it into a very long and stressful day.

  After a very short argument, I’d let Jack take the bed in our flat. I couldn’t take any more of his incessant complaints about not sleeping well on that sofa bed. This sofa however, was more comfortable and bigger than a lot of the beds I’d slept on, so I gladly took it.

  I rubbed away the sleep in my eyes and tried to fully open them, so I could check the time on my phone.

  05:23.

  Good, that meant I could get a few more hours of sleep.

  I glanced down and spotted a notification on the screen, telling me I had an email. It was from Joanne! I threw the blanket off and got to my feet.

  Hi Chris, I’m so glad you’re okay! I’ve been ringing you non-stop for the last two days. I’ve even been calling the British Embassy in Washington.

  The last time I checked, nobody had been able to get in touch with Beth, so I’ve told everyone she’s okay. We’re still trying to get hold of her parents.

  This is REALLY, REALLY BAD, millions of people have died, and the death toll is being updated by the hour. You need to find a way to get to Canada, get as far away from the south as possible. DO NOT GO SOUTH, always go north.

  I’ll try to make this as simple as I can. This is all I know at the moment from watching the news.

  All flights have been cancelled in America, nothing going in or out.

  You don’t need to know this, but it’s called the Florida Virus. All you need to know is that you have to stay away from it.

  You can catch it from direct physical contact with someone infected, or by touching something contaminated with the virus. Avoid people who look sick, please just avoid all people.

  The incubation period is 1 to 2 hours. The first symptoms are similar to the flu, so snotty nose, feeling weak and lethargic etc. It only takes about 12 hours before it gets a lot worse, your internal organs start to fail and you bleed out and die. Death within 24 hours. They thought it was Ebola at first, but now the scientists are saying it’s much worse than that. They haven’t got a cure, although they are hopeful of finding one.

  The first cases were reported in America on Wednesday, the day you left. We didn’t hear about it until Thursday morning.

  People were talking about it on Facebook, but everyone thought it was some kind of hoax at first. It’s just been so sudden. There was hardly any notice at all. There have been videos on Twitter of people attacking each other for food and water, they must be really desperate.

  The Mexicans and Canadians have evacuated all their land that borders the USA. They have got the majority of their police force and army just watching the borders. They’re both talking about building walls. I think Mexico has already started building theirs. Ironic eh?

  Please, please, please just get in a car and drive as far north as you can.

  I’ll keep trying to call you. We can use email until the phones are back up and running.

  I’m so glad you’re okay. I love you, and miss you lots.

  Joanne.

  I read it three times before sitting back down. I couldn’t quite take it all in. I’d dropped my phone on the sofa, but I picked it up and read the email again.

  Yep, it definitely said all that.

  I was really hoping it was just going to be something like the swine flu from a few years ago. I couldn’t remember if that had been a worldwide thing, or just in the U.K. I thought there was a chance it might have only just made its way to America.

  I typed out a quick response to Joanne, telling her not to worry, and that I’d be home as soon as possible. I pressed send and waited. A message popped up saying the email had failed to send.

  Fuck.

  I turned the lights on and ran to the door that led down to the basement flat. It was only then that I noticed the disgusting stench was everywhere, and not just under my blanket. The excitement of receiving Joanne’s email must have distracted me.


  That definitely wasn’t me.

  ‘Jesus Christ Jack. You could have at least opened the window.’

  I descended the stairs two at a time, and pushed open what had once been my bedroom door. Jack sat up in bed upon hearing me, wide eyed in alarm. ‘What’s the matter? What’s happened? Wha—.’

  I interrupted him by reading Joanne’s email out loud. He asked me to read it again which I did. Then he asked for my phone so he could read it for himself.

  Jack handed the phone back to me. ‘That’s a lot to take in when I’m half asleep, give me a minute and I’ll meet you upstairs.’

  ‘Okay,’ I replied. ‘And open a window next time you have a shit. It smells like something crawled up your arse and died.’

  ‘What? I can’t smell anything, it wasn’t me.’

  ‘Yeah right.’

  I left the bedroom, reluctantly making my way back upstairs to the rancid smell.

  A few minutes later, Jack entered the living room to find me stood by the now open window, with one of the curtains wrapped around my face. I was trying to block any more of the smell from getting into my nose and mouth.

  ‘Just checked, I haven’t got any emails. Fucking hell! That does stink, that honestly wasn’t me.’ He cupped both of his hands over his face. ‘Was that you?’

  ‘There’s only two of us here, you can’t blame it on me.’ My voice was muffled slightly by the curtains.

  ‘I don’t think that is shit, smells like someone actually did die,’ Jack said, almost in a whisper.

  The realisation hit me, and we looked at each other for a moment, before simultaneously turning our eyes to the other staircase, the one that led upstairs. Presumably to Marcus the landlord’s bedroom.

  I let go of the curtains and they fell from my face. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest.

  ‘Let’s get the fuck out of here,’ I declared.

  Jack spun around and started running to the basement door. ‘Yep, let’s get our stuff,’ he said.

  We packed up our belongings in record time, and were back in the living room within five minutes, both with t-shirts wrapped around the bottom half of our faces.

  ‘Shit, what about the food?’ I asked.

  ‘What if he’s got the virus?’ Jack responded, pointing up and then looking towards the ceiling.

  ‘We ate his food last night, we’re okay.’ I frantically pointed at both of us in turn. ‘Joanne said the symptoms show in a couple of hours, the food can’t be contaminated.’

  Jack took a deep breath. He looked like he was trying to control his breathing, going from almost hyper ventilating to a steady pace in impressive time.

  I didn’t think my heart was capable of beating this fast.

  Between deep calming breaths, he said, ‘Okay, hang on a second. If he is dead, he’s not gonna come and get us. Let’s just calm down and get the food.’

  ‘Okay, but try not to touch anything we haven’t already touched.’

  ‘What? I haven’t touched lots of things. How am I going to get the food if I can’t touch it?’ Jack asked.

  ‘I dunno. Just don’t touch anything that looks contaminated.’

  ‘Shut up Chris, let’s just get the food.’

  We scoured the kitchen with shaking hands, frantically searching every cupboard for bags. We found some plastic shopping bags, and were filling them with everything that looked edible, when the sound of a car door closing stopped us in our tracks. It was quickly followed by more closing doors, so we both rushed over to the window.

  The sun hadn’t yet risen and the street lights weren’t on, but we could still see what looked like a young girl, climbing into a minivan across the road.

  ‘Should we go and talk to them?’ Jack whispered.

  ‘No way, avoid all people. It’s a new rule. I might let you go near Beth but that’s it.’

  We watched the minivan reverse off the drive, before vanishing into the darkness, only turning away when we could no longer see the lights.

  Jack stepped back from the window. ‘So you’re still coming with me to get Beth? Thought you might have changed your mind after getting Joanne’s email.’

  ‘Pick Beth up, and then head north,’ I answered. ‘Mountain View is pretty much north from here, isn’t it?’

  Jack hesitated and screwed up his face. ‘Erm…no, I don’t think it is. It’s obviously west, but I think it is also a little bit south.’

  I paused for a second, trying to visualise in my head where Mountain View and Boulder were, in relation to each other. ‘Well…I’m not a complete arsehole. Yeah I’m still coming. One important thing though, how do you know she hasn’t already set off for Canada with Sarah and What’s-His-Face?’

  ‘She was still in Mountain View yesterday.’

  ‘Yeah I know, but things change. How do you know she won’t leave before we get there?’

  ‘There’s no way I’m driving to Canada, and hoping that I’ll just bump into her on the way. Yesterday she said, “When are you coming home?” She didn’t mention anything about going on a little trip up north. Did she?’

  ‘Fair enough,’ I said. ‘Just thought I’d mention it. Come on. Let’s get back to stealing Marky Mark’s food. He’s gonna be really pissed off if he’s not already dead upstairs.’

  We very briefly spoke about searching for more things we could use upstairs, like disposable gloves and masks. But we decided there was no way we were going to risk stumbling over a plague infected body.

  I stopped what I was doing, a vision of the mask-wearing bag lady queuing at the airport flashed through my mind.

  ‘The fucking surgical masks! Loads of people were wearing masks in the airport, did you see that?’

  ‘Yeah I just thought of that, but we weren’t to know. Nobody told me about it. Don’t worry about it.’

  ‘Fucking hell, it feels like I’ve woken up in a parallel universe,’ I said.

  Jack paused in the kitchen with two bulging plastic bags in his hands. ‘I feel a bit guilty about taking all this food. Shall we leave him some money or something?’

  ‘I haven’t got anything on me, have you got any cash?’ I asked.

  He put down the bags and quickly checked through his wallet. ‘Nope.’

  ‘Well in that case, no. I’ll email him when this is all over and transfer him some money. Since he’s probably dead upstairs, I don’t think we need to worry about it.’

  ‘What if he isn’t dead and he’s just really ill?’ Jack asked. ‘He might just need some help up there.’

  ‘This is gonna sound really harsh Jack, but there’s no fucking way I’m going up there to check.’ I picked up another empty plastic bag. ‘Come on, last bag, and then we can set off.’

  After filling the bag, we loaded the car with our belongings and newly acquired supplies. We only had four water bottles between us, but I’d emptied some bottles of juice from the fridge, filling them up with water. There were also ten cans of Diet Pepsi, twelve cans of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, and a bottle of Jefferson’s Reserve Bourbon. They might come in handy, so I put them on the back seat.

  I closed the back door of the car and looked up to the house. ‘Thanks Marky Mark, if you’re not dead up there I’ll pay you back for the food.’ I looked back to Jack. ‘I think we’re all set.’

  ‘I think we need a gun,’ Jack said.

  ‘I think you’ve been living in America for too long.’

  ‘If we get the chance we should get one.’

  ‘Okay, but let’s try not to overreact, hopefully we won’t need one,’ I replied. ‘We can worry about that later. Let’s get going, the sooner we get to Beth, the sooner we can get up to Canada.’

  ‘If we can actually get in to Canada.’

  ‘Fucking hell Jack, there’s only room for one pessimist on this holiday. We can add that to the list of things to worry about later.’

  ‘I’m sorry but this holiday is shit,’ Jack said.

  We said our goodbyes to MacArthu
r Drive, and headed north towards Fort Collins. Jack was studying the road map in his hands. The roads were empty. After seeing the minivan leaving earlier, I assumed there would be a lot more vehicles on the road today.

  ‘So…it’s only been three days since the end of the world—.’

  ‘Don’t call it the fucking end of the world please,’ Jack interrupted.

  ‘Okay then,’ I replied. ‘So…it’s only been three days since the end of the United States of America.’

  I looked to Jack for approval.

  He shook his head in resignation, and said, ‘Yes okay, go on.’

  ‘Well, has everyone just packed up and driven to Canada then? Almost the entire population of Boulder drove off without us noticing? Boulder isn’t that big, but surely that isn’t enough time to evacuate an entire city?’

  ‘It doesn’t take long to warn people nowadays with social media. We’re not normal Chris, everyone else is on Facebook, or Instagram, or Twitter. People could have been warned about it really quickly, before the internet went down.’

  ‘What about everyone south of us though? Why aren’t there cars full of plague infected people driving past us now?’

  ‘I don’t know Chris, why are you asking me?’ He sounded exasperated.

  ‘Because you’re the only other person here. I can’t google it can I?’

  Jack sighed. ‘Okay, I’ve no idea, but also, I don’t think everyone is going to go north. Lots of people will stay at home. There were people who stayed in their homes during Hurricane Katrina, even though they were being told to evacuate. And remember what the Estes Park cops said? They were advising people to stay at home.’ He looked down at the map. ‘In about thirty or forty miles we’re turning left, just after we’ve passed Fort Collins.’

  ‘Okay, just tell me when I need to turn. Do you really think Marky Mark was actually dead back there?’

  ‘It certainly smelt like someone had died, I’ve never smelt a decaying body before, but I imagine that’s what it smells like. I was really hoping the virus hadn’t reached us yet.’

  ‘Yeah, me too,’ I said. ‘Dead bodies don’t smell straight away though. He must have been dead for a few days for the smell to be that strong.’