The Road Trip At The End Box Set

by J N Wood

  As I passed Jack, I spoke in a baby voice, ‘Ooh, I’ve got broken ribs and one eye, so I can’t help the big boys.’

  Jack shrugged. ‘All very true.’

  I got to the door before I remembered I’d need a weapon. I took the little axe out of the side of my bag. My new Smasher would be a bit too cumbersome to carry while pushing vehicles.

  Michael pressed the button to open the doors, and I followed the big Lithuanian out into the surprisingly cold night.

  We made quick work of pushing the cars out of the way, the drop in temperature probably speeding us up. Gee and I made a good team, barely speaking to each other, but otherwise getting the job done.

  Most of the cars had been locked. Unsurprisingly, that included the last car that needed to be moved. After borrowing my axe and having a quick glance around, Gee smashed the driver’s side window. He leaned in and placed the gear lever into drive.

  Gee’s head quickly popped back up at the sound of hissing. I heard it at exactly the same time, spinning around to find the source.

  ‘Gee, can you see it?’ I quickly spluttered.

  ‘No,’ he replied, passing me back my axe and unslinging his crossbow.

  I couldn’t pinpoint the source of the hissing, because it was coming from all around us.

  The headlights from the bus picked up a figure, heading straight for Gee. Rather than warn him, it was quicker for me to step into its path. I slammed the blunt end of the axe into the thing’s face. Its head erupted, splattering the back of Gee with thick, almost black blood. The headless body slumped to the ground and skidded across the tarmac, straight into the side of the car next to us.

  I looked at the axe in my hand. That was easy. Its head just disintegrated.

  ‘Move Chris! Back to bus!’ Gee shouted.

  We both set off at a sprint. Four or five, maybe six zombies were definitely going to intercept us before we made it back.

  Two of them went down in quick succession, with arrows sticking out of the back of their heads. Michael and Shannon were stood in the doorway, illuminated by the internal light of the bus. Gee stopped and took aim with his crossbow, taking another down, before starting to run again.

  Two zombies were sprinting for me, so I aimed for the closest one. At the last second, I went to go one way but changed direction. The zombie missed me, losing what little balance it had, and tumbling to the ground.

  I slowed down to an almost complete stop as the second neared. I timed my swing perfectly, like a cricket swing, upper cutting and connecting with its chin. Again, the head exploded, this time the contents shot upwards, before falling to splatter onto me. The decapitated body instantly slammed into the ground.

  Either I’m suddenly much better at this zombie killing lark, or these ones are much slower and weaker than usual.

  I looked over to see Gee firing another arrow. It was a perfect shot, skewering a zombie through its wide open mouth, instantly ending its hissing.

  ‘Run!’ Jack, Shannon and Michael all shouted.

  We both set off running. Even with Gee slowing to retrieve his arrows, we were back inside the bus within seconds. Michael was repeatedly jamming his fist into the button to close the door.

  I was struggling to catch my breath. ‘Maybe just use the bus to move the last car,’ I gasped.

  Michael put his foot down, aiming for the final car blocking our path. More shapes were appearing from the gloom.

  ‘We must have woken them up,’ Shannon said, as she gripped onto the back of Michael’s seat.

  ‘Everyone hold on!’ Michael shouted.

  I braced myself against the seat in front. When we collided with the car I was forced forward, almost smashing my mouth into the back of the seat. The car was catapulted into the air after being scooped up by the plough, loudly crashing back down to earth after clipping the side of the bus.

  Michael had a quick glance behind him. ‘That could have been bad,’ he muttered.

  I obviously wanted everyone to believe me about the night time swarms, but I was actually hoping we wouldn’t see another one. This was definitely looking like one of the big ones.

  More and more of them were coming out of the shadows, spilling onto the road in front of us. I looked at Jack. His eyes were fixed on the zombies.

  Michael was trying to steer around them, but there was only a slither of clear road left to use.

  ‘Just drive through them,’ I shouted.

  ‘Okay, but it’s going to get messy again,’ Michael said, flicking the windscreen wipers on.

  Zombies started to make contact with us. The snow plough decimated their bodies, splattering them onto the front of the bus.

  ‘Maybe you’re asleep Jack?’ I said. ‘Maybe this is just a dream? Would you like me to repeatedly punch you in the face? Just to make sure you’re awake.’

  ‘No thanks,’ Jack said flatly, still staring straight ahead.

  The sound of zombies thudding into the plough and splattering across the windscreen blocked out everything else. For what seemed like an eternity, but probably only thirty seconds, we crowded around Michael in the driver’s seat and stared out. Thankfully the swarm did start to thin, eventually down to nothing.

  ‘I think it’s fair to say Chris was telling the truth,’ Shannon said, once we were clear.

  ‘Yeah, obviously. Thanks very much,’ I said.

  ‘I always know he tell truth,’ Gee said.

  I shot him a confused look.

  Gee clapped me on the shoulder, saying, ‘You did good.’ He walked to the back of the bus and started to rummage through his bag.

  I turned back to the others and shrugged, gesturing towards Gee with my thumb. ‘What the fuck happened then?’

  ‘I did tell you,’ Shannon said, handing me a packet of tissues. ‘Takes him a while to warm up. I thought it would take longer than a day though.’

  I started using the tissues to wipe the blood from my face. Looking to Shannon, and pointing at the gauze taped to my face, I asked, ‘Do I need this changing?’

  ‘Yeah, we better change it,’ she said, already reaching for her bag.

  ‘How much longer to Bend?’ Jack asked. ‘Will we get there before the sun comes up?’

  ‘About four or five hours, so we should be,’ Shannon replied.

  ‘What difference does it make now?’ Michael asked.

  ‘There’s still fewer of them at night than during the day,’ I said.

  ‘How do we know that?’ Shannon asked, as she pulled out her first aid kit. ‘We kept someone on watch during the day back in Austin, but they would never see anything. I never saw zombies roaming about when it was my turn. When was the last time you went out during the day Chris?’

  ‘It will have been when Jack and I first got to Austin. There were definitely a lot of them around then. Enough to roll us down a hill. Tens of thousands of them.’

  ‘We’ve been doing nights for a while now,’ Jack said. ‘Hopefully we’re only a few days away from Canada. Why not just stay as we are for a bit longer?’

  ‘Oh, actually,’ I remembered. ‘I was out during the day when I was up in the snowy hills. I barely saw anything then. But I was in the middle of nowhere.’

  ‘Okay,’ Shannon said. ‘Nobody likes change, so let’s stay as we are.’

  ‘I don’t mind driving,’ Michael said. ‘But could people stay awake? Just to keep an eye out.’

  A loud snore erupted from the back of the bus.

  ‘At least everyone apart from Gee,’ Michael added.

  We agreed and sat ourselves down. Shannon swapped my gauze for a clean one, making sure the wound underneath was healing okay. I stared out of the clean section of the windscreen. The parts the wipers couldn’t reach were a very dark, almost black colour.

  We sat in silence for a long time. Everyone must have been considering what the night time swarms meant for us.

  ‘Michael,’ I said.

  ‘Yes Christopher,’ he replied.

  ‘Wo
uld you rather be completely bald and have a massive nipple on your head? It’d take up the whole of your hairless scalp. Or would you rather only be able to say one word for the rest of your life? And that one word would be penis.’

  ‘So I’d look normal, but only be able to say penis?’ Michael asked.

  ‘Michael,’ Shannon exclaimed. ‘Don’t indulge him please.’

  ‘What?’ I asked. ‘It’s a perfectly reasonable question.’

  ‘And incredibly tame for a Chris Would You Rather, could be a lot worse’ Jack said.

  ‘Don’t worry, the bad ones will come out eventually,’ I said.

  ‘Can I wear a hat?’ Michael asked.

  ‘Nope, no hat,’ I replied. ‘You have to proudly show off your great big nipple head.’

  ‘I’d go for the penis one, and just learn sign language,’ Michael said. ‘Now give Shannon a bad one.’

  ‘No thank you,’ Shannon said. ‘I’m perfectly fine with silence.’

  ‘Okay,’ I said. ‘But I’m not allowing the sign language get out clause.’ I turned to Shannon and said, ‘Would you rather have sex with one half of conjoined twins, where the other half is a zombie, or the other half is your dad?’

  ‘How would that be possible?’ Shannon asked. ‘My dad isn’t one half of conjoined twins.’

  ‘I don’t think you’re getting the point of the game darling,’ Michael said.

  ‘Oh, and also, your dad would be furiously masturbating,’ I added.

  ‘No!’ Shannon declared. ‘I’m not playing this disgusting game.’

  ‘You don’t watch movies, and you refuse to discuss your father masturbating,’ I said. ‘I don’t know what else to talk about then.’

  Michael, Jack and I quietly chuckled as we drove further into the darkness.

  A few hours later, Michael announced we were crossing into Oregon, and a new road map was produced by Shannon. The roads had been clear, but the snow had started to fall.

  Hopefully the snow plough would be able to do its job.

  Not long after crossing the border, Shannon took over the driving, and Michael took the navigator job. Gee had also joined us at the front of the bus.

  ‘So Gee, what’s Gee short for?’ I asked.

  ‘Short for. What does this mean?’ he responded.

  I tried again. ‘What is your real name?’

  ‘You cannot say it properly, so I use Gee,’ he said.

  ‘I haven’t even tried it. You never know, I might be able to say it.’

  ‘Yeah Gee,’ Michael said. ‘What is your real name?’

  ‘When I first come to America, people say it wrong, so I use Gee.’

  ‘Tell us your name Gee,’ Shannon said.

  Gee just sat there, ignoring us.

  ‘Tell us,’ Jack said.

  ‘First name!’ I shouted.

  ‘Just tell us your name,’ Jack said.

  ‘Come on Gee,’ Michael said, laughing.

  Jack and I started to chant, ‘Name, name, name, name, name…’

  ‘Okay, okay. Fucking shut up. I tell you,’ Gee shouted. ‘You are like my…’ he started, before trailing off.

  Shannon turned to give Michael a knowing look.

  ‘It is Gintaras,’ he said.

  ‘Gintaras?’ I said, before everyone else also repeated it.

  ‘People always say it like alcohol, gin. But it is not said that way.’

  ‘But…if you just tell people your name,’ I told him. ‘Like you just did. Then people will say it correctly, like we just did. No?’

  After a few moments, Gee responded by shrugging his shoulders.

  ‘Which do you prefer?’ Jack asked. ‘Gee or Gintaras?’

  He seemed to ponder the question, before answering with, ‘Gee, I prefer Gee.’

  ‘In that case,’ I said. ‘Surely we’re pronouncing Gee incorrectly? If Gintaras has got a hard G, then so should Gee.’ I looked around at everyone. ‘No?’

  Gee stared out the window.

  ‘Let’s just leave it like it is,’ Shannon said.

  The time was approaching six in the morning. We hadn’t quite made it to Bend as the snow had slowed us down after entering Oregon. The sun was just starting to rise so we all agreed to stop somewhere for the day.

  ‘We can’t stay in the bus,’ I said, after Michael had suggested it. ‘Remember what happened to Jack and me in our truck?’

  ‘There isn’t much around here Chris,’ Michael said. ‘And the bus is a whole lot heavier than your truck.’

  ‘Where are we going to go anyway?’ Jack asked. ‘If the world’s strongest men have all been turned into zombies, and they all just happen to show up here, all they’ll do is push us into some trees.’

  I looked around us. We were surrounded by woods. ‘Okay, okay,’ I said.

  I thanked Shannon after she handed me a sleeping bag, and walked halfway up the bus to find some space. I decided on the floor so I could stretch out.

  DAY FIFTEEN

  Chapter 3: Shrapnel

  My sleep had been fitful. Gee’s incessant snoring hadn’t helped, and people shouting at him to stop snoring had disrupted my sleep even more so.

  It was silent now, so the Lithuanian must have been awake.

  There was a slight breeze blowing into the bus, carrying with it the distinctive scent of coffee, along with the smell of food cooking.

  I climbed up to sit on the seat and looked around. The bus was empty, so I unzipped my sleeping bag and headed towards the front doors.

  ‘Good afternoon Chris,’ Shannon said, after I’d appeared in the open doorway.

  Gee was crouching over a little camping stove, a pan of what looked like baked beans was cooking over the flame.

  ‘Coffee?’ Michael asked me.

  ‘Yes please.’

  ‘No milk I’m afraid,’ he added. ‘The local stores were all closed.’

  ‘That’s absolutely fine,’ I said, before joining everyone to sit on the road. ‘No zombie swarms knocking about then?’

  ‘Not seen anything. Maybe they’ve turned nocturnal as well,’ Jack said. ‘Can hear the birds though, can’t remember the last time I heard them.’

  ‘That’s a good sign actually,’ I recalled. ‘I heard them singing when I was up in the hills, and there weren’t any zombies there, well, only a couple. And a huge swarm had recently passed through, so it might not actually mean anything.’

  Michael leaned over to pass me a cup of coffee. ‘Very useful information. Thanks Chris.’

  ‘Sausage and bean for breakfast. Okay?’ Gee almost barked at me.

  ‘Yeah brilliant,’ I replied. ‘What time is it? I really need to get a proper watch. The battery dies too quickly on my fitness watch.’

  ‘Half two,’ Jack said. ‘We were just talking about setting off when everyone was ready. Not waiting for it to get dark.’

  ‘That way we’ll get to Seattle when it does get dark, at ten or eleven,’ Michael said. ‘Meaning we’ll have plenty of time to sort out getting over the border once we get up there.’

  ‘I don’t think the border crossing will be all that easy,’ Shannon said.

  ‘I expect you’re right darling,’ Michael acknowledged. ‘But you know me, ever the optimist.’

  ‘Okay. If that’s what you want to do,’ I said. ‘I’m happy to go with the general consensus.’

  ‘It’s decided then,’ Michael said. ‘Set off in an hour?’

  We all agreed. I nipped off for a quick piss behind the bus, returning to find a plate of three sausages and a huge pile of beans waiting for me.

  ‘Thanks Gee. This could be the best plate of food anyone has ever given me.’

  ‘Sausage out of tin,’ Gee said. ‘Not real sausage.’

  ‘You could have pulled them out of your pocket,’ I said. ‘It wouldn’t have made any difference to me.’

  ‘I honestly thought you were going to say arse, rather than pocket,’ Jack said.

  ‘Jack,’ Shannon scolded him. ‘
I’m eating a sausage. I don’t want to think about it coming out of Gee’s ass.’

  Jack apologised, but with a huge smile on his face.

  The first plate of hot food I’d eaten for nearly two weeks was beyond delicious. I tried to remember the last time I’d eaten anything cooked. It must have been when I met the Rodriguez’s, and Ali had made me some eggs.

  An hour later and we were underway. I was driving and Jack had taken over the map reading duties.

  ‘Why do I have to drive right now?’ I asked. ‘When we decide to set off in the day time.’

  ‘Because it’s your turn,’ Jack said. ‘And I’ve only got one eye at the moment.’

  ‘Yes I realise that,’ I said. ‘But if I’d known we were gonna up the risk factor, I’d have volunteered to drive earlier.’

  ‘You’ve just gotta suck it up Christopher,’ Michael said.

  ‘Thanks for the helpful advice Michael. I hope you’re not expecting me to do Jack’s shift as well? We’re barely friends, I hardly know him really.’

  ‘How do you know each other?’ Shannon asked.

  I looked to Jack, but he’d just started eating a Snickers. He nodded to me.

  ‘I went to university with a friend of Jack’s, then afterwards a few of us moved to Leeds, in Yorkshire. Jack moved to Leeds shortly after. Or had you already moved there?’

  He swallowed his mouthful of Snickers, before saying, ‘I was already there, moved over a bit before you all turned up.’

  ‘Been friends since, Jack moved in with my wife and I for a few years as well, when he was homeless.’

  ‘I wasn’t homeless,’ Jack said. ‘I couldn’t be bothered to look for somewhere else to live. It was just easier.’

  ‘Fuck!’ I shouted.

  We had just reached the brow of a hill when they came into view. It might not have quite been a swarm, but a large number of zombies were already sprinting towards us. The road was full of them. They must have heard us driving up the other side of the hill.

  ‘I’m going through them,’ I said.

  ‘Well, we’d prefer it if you didn’t stop and offer them a lift,’ Jack said.

  ‘Turn your wipers on now,’ Michael instructed me.

  I did as I was told.