Dashboard Lights

by Jena Wade

  I spotted Philip from across the field and waved him over to us. He wore a pair of faded blue jeans and a T-shirt with the Millerstown Fire Department logo blasted across the chest.

  Christopher spotted the helmet on his shirt right away recognizing it as a fireman's helmet.

  “Is he a fireman?”

  I laughed. “Yeah, buddy. Didn't I tell you that?” I knew I hadn't. I wanted Philip to tell Christopher about himself.

  Philip’s gaze flickered between me and Christopher as he approached.

  “Hi.” His voice shook.

  “Hi.” I stood and reached for Christopher's hand. He grabbed it, pulled himself up and stood in front of me. He eyed Philip with a curious gaze. Philip just stared at him. Absolute wonder in his eyes. It reminded me of what I looked like, or what I imagined I’d looked like, when they’d placed Christopher in my own arms just after he was born. I had been alone in the delivery room, so there had been no one to snap a picture, but the moment was forever ingrained in my mind. Our first look. Absolute amazement at the life I had created.

  “Philip,” I said. “This is Christopher. Christopher, this is Philip.”

  Christopher turned his head and looked up at me. “Do I call him Mr. Miller? Or what do I call him?”

  Oh, damn. I hadn’t thought about that. “You can call him whatever you're comfortable with, sweetheart. Or perhaps Philip has a preference.”

  Philip cleared his throat and got down on one knee, so he was eye-to-eye with Christopher. He held out a hand that shook slightly. “It's nice to meet you, Christopher. You can call me Philip for now. But someday, I'm really hoping that you'll call me dad.”

  “That would make the most sense,” Christopher said. “You're my Alpha dad, right?”

  Philip smiled his award-winning smile that always got me weak in the knees. “Yeah. I am. Your Omega dad told me you brought your ball glove. Do you want to play catch?”

  “Yeah,” Christopher said, and he grabbed the ball glove off the bench and took off running. “I can throw from all the way over here.”

  “Wow,” Philip said. “That's pretty impressive.”

  I chuckled and smiled at Philip. “You're doing great.”

  “Thank you,” he said. “Thank you for letting me do this. I spent all day worrying.”

  “Did you…?”

  Philip nodded. “Yeah. I went to my parent’s house. I swear my dad's gone off the deep end.”

  “And he’s still the mayor? The people in town haven’t realized he’s less than awesome?”

  “Yeah, it’s his last term or so he says. There's been a lot of talk in recent years about putting in term limits for the mayor position. He's done six four-year terms now. I'd say that's plenty. He may have done terrible things to keep us apart, but he’s done good things for the town. Let’s not talk about all that, though” Philip said. “Not around Christopher.”

  “No, of course not,” I said. “Did you bring a glove?”

  “No,” Philip said. “I figured I'd be able to catch with my hands. I didn't have time to look for mine and I didn't want to be late.”

  I grinned. “All right, well, be prepared to run. His aim needs some work.” I sat back on the bench and watched as Christopher threw the ball again and again at Philip. Sometimes it was a ground ball, sometimes it was wildly to the left, other times it was wildly to the right. Every so often on a rare occurrence it went straight. The two of them played like that for thirty minutes or more. Philip’s patience was endless, and his enjoyment was infectious. I found myself laughing at the two of them and their antics. It was easy to see now, watching them play, just how much my son had inherited from Philip. His easy laughter, his mannerisms. I let myself think for a moment about what could have been had Philip’s dad not interfered the way he had. What would have become of Philip and me? Would we have actually gotten married, had Christopher and even more kids? Possibly.

  Philip plopped down next to me. “Hey Omega-mine, what's got you looking so serious?”

  I sighed, soaking in the old nickname he’d used for me. “Nothing. I just… It's amazing to see the two of you together and I never imagined it would happen. Just makes me a little sad about what could have been.”

  Philip nodded. “I know. I thought about that quite a bit today as well.” But he shook his head. “We can't let that stand in our way right now. Things are different. They weren't ideal, but I'm going to be here now. I have no reason to leave and every reason in the world to stay. If you'll have me, I'd like to be a part of your life and Christopher's.” Philip laid a hand on my knee.

  I knew what he was asking, what he was suggesting. I bit my lip looked away. “I don't know, Philip. It's been a long time.”

  He took his hand away and nodded. “Of course,” he said. “I just… I still care about you, Ollie. A lot. I've never forgotten you and seeing all that you've done for Christopher and yourself. You're amazing.”

  I closed my eyes and choked back some emotion. “Thank you,” I said. I'd always wanted to hear my Alpha tell me those wonderful things. But I had to be strong for Christopher now. I couldn't just lay my heart out on the line. It wasn't just mine to gamble with. My actions affected Christopher as well. “Let's just see how things go, okay?”

  Philip nodded. “Of course. Can I come for dinner Friday or something? I'm working the next three days, but I have Friday off.

  “Sure,” I said. “That’d be great. Friday is pizza night.”

  Philip grinned. “That sounds amazing.”

  Chapter Five

  Philip

  I spent the next three days working. Being on shift meant hanging around the firehouse. To pass the time between calls I filled out reports, cleaned and checked our equipment, and hung out with the other guys. We had a couple of calls, but nothing serious.

  It gave me plenty of time to text Ollie with questions about Christopher and himself. Ollie freely gave me information about Christopher, but rarely disclosed any information about himself. Guarding his heart most likely.

  I’d contacted my brother to let him know he had a nephew. Tyler and my dad may not get along anymore, but Tyler and I stayed in contact. He was a year younger than me and had moved out of town the minute he turned eighteen. Forced out by my father.

  Like Ollie.

  I wondered if the damage done by our separation could ever be fixed. I knew that there would never be another Omega for me. I had more or less accepted that before Ollie came back into my life. But my protective Alpha instinct did not like the idea of Ollie and Christopher living alone in the country. Ollie had proven himself extremely capable, raising our son on his own like he did, but I still wanted to provide for him, be there for him as his Alpha and his partner. I didn't like the idea of him finding another Alpha to provide for him, but if that's what it came down to, then I would have to find a way to accept it. At least that's what I told myself.

  Actually accepting it would be a completely different ballgame. I would have to cross that bridge when we got there. Until then, I wanted to know everything. I had some free time on my shift, so I did a cursory Google search of both Ollie and Christopher. I didn't dig very hard for information, I didn't want to invade their privacy, but I did discover quite a bit.

  I found an article about Christopher's piano recital from when he was four. There was even a video on YouTube that the school had posted. I couldn't believe his talent at such a young age. Then I discovered that Ollie hadn't abandoned his art. My Omega was extremely talented, and I was proud to see that he and a friend of his had published children's books. I ordered copies of them and even paid for expedited shipping because I wanted to see what my Omega had done.

  Not your Omega.

  But he was. I’d always think of Ollie that way. I wished I could see what he had looked like when he'd been pregnant. What it had been like when Christopher was first born. Who had helped Ollie care for him? Who’d been there with him through the sleepless nights and the really tough stuff? Who had h
e shared those first moments with? Had anyone been there? Had this Kayden been a part of his life?

  Ollie had filled me in on his and Kayden’s plan to open an in-home daycare out of his grandmother's house. It was the perfect location for anybody wanting a licensed daycare, but not necessarily wanting to take their kids to a center. There was a before and after school program for school-aged children in Millerstown, but there wasn't any care for younger children. It had been a discussion at more than one town meeting and I knew the town's people would welcome an in-home daycare to the community.

  Once my shift was over, I ran home, changed my clothes and set off toward Ollie's house. He had said it was pizza night and I picked up a package of cookies from the grocery store for dessert. Being that it was a Friday night, as opposed to a school night, I supposed it couldn't hurt to let Christopher have a little sugar before bed. I had panicked earlier, worried that Christopher had an allergy I didn't know about. But Ollie assured me he did not.

  I almost walked right into Ollie’s house, then I remembered that knocking was appropriate. We were just co-parents after all, I didn't have a right to just walk in. So, I knocked.

  Christopher answered the door. He leapt into my arms. It was the best feeling in the world.

  “You came!” he exclaimed.

  “Of course, I did. I said I'd be here.”

  “I know,” he said. “But I'm just so excited.”

  “Me too, buddy.”

  He scrambled out of my arms and ran back into the house, shouting, “Alpha dad is here.”

  It warmed my heart to hear him say that. I’d wondered if I'd ever be called that in my life and now I was.

  Ollie rushed down the stairs. He wore a pair of track pants and an extremely wet white T- shirt that clung to him like a second skin. His face was flushed. “Christopher, what have I said about answering the door without me? It could be dangerous. You don't know who's behind there.”

  “I saw through the window that it was my Alpha dad, so I knew it was safe.”

  Ollie set his jaw and rolled his shoulders back like he was clamping down some frustration. “I know that, buddy. But I would really prefer if you would always wait for me before you answer the door, okay?”

  “But what if I know who it is?” Christopher said. He looked at me as if I might take his side.

  “Your dad's right, Christopher. Better safe than sorry. You should always have an adult with you when you answer the door. It's just safer that way.”

  Accepting defeat, Christopher said, “All right.”

  I met Ollie's gaze. He smiled and mouthed, “Thank you.” Score! Points for me, I did something right.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked. “You're all wet.”

  Ollie lifted the bottom of his shirt and looked down at it like he was just realizing it was soaked. “Oh, yeah,” he said. “The upstairs bathroom sink is leaking like a sieve. I had to turn off the water in the house. I can't figure out how to fix it.”

  “Want me to take a look at it?” I kept my focus on Ollie’s face, resisting the urge to let my gaze travel lower and enjoy the view. Ollie had kept himself in great shape in the past six years.

  “Oh, no,” Ollie said, and he waved a hand in the air. “I'll call a plumber in the morning. We’ll make do until then.”

  “Nonsense,” I said. “A plumber on a Saturday will cost a fortune. I can take a look at it.”

  “He's a fireman, Dad. He can probably fix it,” Christopher said. I didn't quite see the correlation, but I appreciated his vote of confidence.

  “Yeah, I'm a fireman. I can probably fix it.”

  A smile tugged at the corner of Ollie's lips. “All right. I'll put the pizzas in the oven, you two go fix stuff.”

  I gave him a mock salute and held out my hand for Christopher. “Let’s go take a look at this sink.”

  Christopher pulled my arm, leading me to the stairs.

  “Thanks,” I said to Ollie as I walked past him, and our shoulders brushed.

  “No,” Ollie said. “Thank you.”

  Christopher took off, running up the stairs. “Come on, Alpha Dad! Let’s fix this thing.”

  “Did I mention that your son is a crazy little ball of energy in the evenings?”

  My son. I loved hearing those words. Loved even more that I was hearing them from Ollie.

  “I'm gathering that,” I said. “Put the pizzas in, then sit down and relax little. You look a little frustrated.”

  “Thanks,” Ollie said. “It's been a day. I've been trying to organize the paperwork we’ll need to file for licensing. Seems like there's an impossible amount of hoops to jump through before we can make this happen.”

  “You’ll get it figured out. I know you can.”

  He gave me a half smile that brightened my entire world. “Thanks.”

  Chapter Six

  Ollie

  “Are you sure you're going to be okay with both boys for the entire weekend?”

  Kayden chuckled. “Please. I handle six kids every single day of the week. I think two five-year-olds should be pretty easy. Besides, you know I've done it before.”

  “I know,” I said. “I just feel bad that you're not going to get much of a weekend off. Plus, with me not there to help with the daycare, I'm sure you're running yourself pretty ragged.” We stood inside Kayden’s apartment. Christopher and Kayden’s son Jackson had run off to Jackson’s bedroom as soon as we’d arrived.

  Kayden snorted. “I'll sleep when I'm dead. I've been able to get a little bit of writing done on the next book. I'll be sending the drafts with you this weekend. So, if you get tired of painting, then you can start sketching out scenes for it.”

  “So, if I get tired of painting, I can do some more painting?” I raised my brow.

  “Exactly. Just like if I get tired of watching kids during the week, I can watch some more kids this weekend.”

  We both laughed at that. I missed having my friend so close. For the past five years, we’d spent nearly every day together.

  “How are things there?” Kayden asked. “And how's the baby daddy?”

  I grimaced. “Don't call him that.”

  “That's exactly what he is.”

  “I know,” I said. “But he’s doing a great job. He's amazing with Christopher and—”

  “And I hear he's been helping out around the house as well. Fixing your plumbing, repairing the ceiling fan, installing new light fixtures. He’s been quite busy these past few weeks. Is he going to be painting with you this weekend too?” Kayden waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

  “No,” I said quickly. “I mean, he only comes over when Christopher's there, so he can spend time with him. It's not like he's spending time with me. It's not like that.”

  “Oh,” Kayden said disbelieving. “It's not like that is it? But do you want it to be?” He nudged my elbow with his.

  “No,” I said. “Christopher's my only focus. You know that.”

  Kayden groaned and stomped his foot. “C’mon Ollie. Live a little. I get that you’re focused on Christopher, but you've got a second chance here. Don't you think you want to take that? I know how much you cared about Philip and how devastated you were when you thought that he didn't want you. This is your second chance.”

  “Kayden, out of all the people in the world I did not expect you to be the hopeless romantic in this situation. Would you take a second chance with your ex?”

  “Fuck no!” Kayden said. “My situation is different. You know that. My ex literally told me he didn’t want children with me or anyone else under any circumstances. He suggested that an abortion would be a better option than bringing a child into this world. You and Philip were the victim of a very cruel, obviously evil, person who wanted to manipulate the both of you, which totally sucks, but this is a second chance.”

  “Yes, you said that. But Philip and I are different people now. I'm sure he has some other Omega in his life. He has given zero indication that he has any interest in me whatsoev
er.”

  “Or you're just too blind to see it. Sounds to me like he's been courting you. He brings over desserts when you guys have dinner, doesn't he?”

  I tossed up my hands in exasperation. “Yeah, but those are for Christopher.”

  “Oh, yeah, Christopher loves chocolate covered cherries. Those are his favorite. Not.”

  Damn Kayden and his sarcasm.

  “Philip didn't know that when he bought them,” I countered.

  “But he did know that they are your favorite, didn’t he?”

  My attempt at not letting myself hope that Philip was still interested in me was being broken down with every word that Kayden said.

  “It's not like that,” I said again. “Just drop it, Kayden.”

  “Fine. Fine. I know when to quit. But when I'm standing up with you two at the altar, I'll just tell you I told you so.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Who says I would ever let you stand up with me?”

  “Ouch. That's hitting below the belt.” Kayden chuckled, and we changed topics to discussing our next book and what his plans were for the weekend with the kids. I filled him in on the paperwork I had completed for the daycare licensing, and on what colors I'd be picking out for the various rooms.

  The basement of the house had a sliding glass door that walked out to the backyard. We intended to fence that in and the entire basement would be set aside as a daycare area. This weekend, I planned to repaint down there and make everything white. As inspiration struck, I would paint murals on the wall of scenes from our various books.

  If I had time, I would tackle repainting my room, Christopher's room, and the living room. It had been several years since the house had any sort of facelift and I was excited to get started on it. Kayden agreed to take Christopher for the weekend so I would have all the time in the world and I could get it all done. Maybe.

  I gave Christopher a hug, though he barely noticed that I was leaving. He’d missed his friend Jackson and the two were too busy with their blocks to pay any attention to me. I got back in my car and made the trek back to the house. I stopped at the home improvement store and picked up the paint and brushes that I needed for the weekend.