Guy Mannering, Or, the Astrologer — Complete

by Walter Scott

  CHAPTER XLIV

  A prison is a house of care, A place where none can thrive, A touchstone true to try a friend, A grave for one alive Sometimes a place of right, Sometimes a place of wrong, Sometimes a place of rogues and thieves, And honest men among

  Inscription on Edinburgh Tolbooth

  Early on the following morning the carriage which had brought Bertramto Hazlewood House was, with his two silent and surly attendants,appointed to convey him to his place of confinement at Portanferry.This building adjoined to the custom-house established at that littleseaport, and both were situated so close to the sea-beach that it wasnecessary to defend the back part with a large and strong rampart orbulwark of huge stones, disposed in a slope towards the surf, whichoften reached and broke upon them. The front was surrounded by a highwall, enclosing a small courtyard, within which the miserable inmatesof the mansion were occasionally permitted to take exercise and air.The prison was used as a house of correction, and sometimes as a chapelof ease to the county jail, which was old, and far from beingconveniently situated with reference to the Kippletringan district ofthe county. Mac-Guffog, the officer by whom Bertram had at first beenapprehended, and who was now in attendance upon him, was keeper of thispalace of little-ease. He caused the carriage to be drawn close up tothe outer gate, and got out himself to summon the warders. The noise ofhis rap alarmed some twenty or thirty ragged boys, who left off sailingtheir mimic sloops and frigates in the little pools of salt water leftby the receding tide, and hastily crowded round the vehicle to see whatluckless being was to be delivered to the prison-house out of'Glossin's braw new carriage.' The door of the courtyard, after theheavy clanking of many chains and bars, was opened by Mrs.Mac-Guffog--an awful spectacle, being a woman for strength andresolution capable of maintaining order among her riotous inmates, andof administering the discipline of the house, as it was called, duringthe absence of her husband, or when he chanced to have taken anoverdose of the creature. The growling voice of this Amazon, whichrivalled in harshness the crashing music of her own bolts and bars,soon dispersed in every direction the little varlets who had throngedaround her threshold, and she next addressed her amiable helpmate:--

  'Be sharp, man, and get out the swell, canst thou not?'

  'Hold your tongue and be d-d, you--,' answered her loving husband, withtwo additional epithets of great energy, but which we beg to be excusedfrom repeating. Then addressing Bertram--'Come, will you get out, myhandy lad, or must we lend you a lift?'

  Bertram came out of the carriage, and, collared by the constable as heput his foot on the ground, was dragged, though he offered noresistance, across the threshold, amid the continued shouts of thelittle sansculottes, who looked on at such distance as their fear ofMrs. Mac-Guffog permitted. The instant his foot had crossed the fatalporch, the portress again dropped her chains, drew her bolts, and,turning with both hands an immense key, took it from the lock andthrust it into a huge side-pocket of red cloth.

  Bertram was now in the small court already mentioned. Two or threeprisoners were sauntering along the pavement, and deriving as it were afeeling of refreshment from the momentary glimpse with which theopening door had extended their prospect to the other side of a dirtystreet. Nor can this be thought surprising, when it is considered that,unless on such occasions, their view was confined to the grated frontof their prison, the high and sable walls of the courtyard, the heavenabove them, and the pavement beneath their feet--a sameness oflandscape which, to use the poet's expression, 'lay like a load on thewearied eye,' and had fostered in some a callous and dull misanthropy,in others that sickness of the heart which induces him who is immuredalready in a living grave to wish for a sepulchre yet more calm andsequestered.

  Mac-Guffog, when they entered the courtyard, suffered Bertram to pausefor a minute and look upon his companions in affliction. When he hadcast his eye around on faces on which guilt and despondence and lowexcess had fixed their stigma--upon the spendthrift, and the swindler,and the thief, the bankrupt debtor, the 'moping idiot, and the madmangay,' whom a paltry spirit of economy congregated to share this dismalhabitation, he felt his heart recoil with inexpressible loathing fromenduring the contamination of their society even for a moment.

  'I hope, sir,' he said to the keeper, 'you intend to assign me a placeof confinement apart?'

  'And what should I be the better of that?'

  'Why, sir, I can but be detained here a day or two, and it would bevery disagreeable to me to mix in the sort of company this placeaffords.'

  'And what do I care for that?'

  'Why then, sir, to speak to your feelings,' said Bertram, 'I shall bewilling to make you a handsome compliment for this indulgence.'

  'Ay, but when, Captain? when and how? that's the question, or ratherthe twa questions,' said the jailor.

  'When I am delivered, and get my remittances from England,' answeredthe prisoner.

  Mac-Guffog shook his head incredulously.

  'Why, friend, you do not pretend to believe that I am really amalefactor?' said Bertram.

  'Why, I no ken,' said the fellow; 'but if you ARE on the account, ye'renae sharp ane, that's the daylight o't.'

  'And why do you say I am no sharp one?'

  'Why, wha but a crack-brained greenhorn wad hae let them keep up thesiller that ye left at the Gordon Arms?' said the constable. 'Deilfetch me, but I wad have had it out o' their wames! Ye had nae right tobe strippit o' your money and sent to jail without a mark to pay yourfees; they might have keepit the rest o' the articles for evidence. Butwhy, for a blind bottle-head, did not ye ask the guineas? and I keptwinking and nodding a' the time, and the donnert deevil wad never ancelook my way!'

  'Well, sir,' replied Bertram, 'if I have a title to have that propertydelivered up to me, I shall apply for it; and there is a good deal morethan enough to pay any demand you can set up.'

  'I dinna ken a bit about that,' said Mac-Guffog; 'ye may be here langeneugh. And then the gieing credit maun be considered in the fees. But,however, as ye DO seem to be a chap by common, though my wife says Ilose by my good-nature, if ye gie me an order for my fees upon thatmoney I daresay Glossin will make it forthcoming; I ken something aboutan escape from Ellangowan. Ay, ay, he'll be glad to carry me through,and be neighbour-like.'

  'Well, sir,' replied Bertram, 'if I am not furnished in a day or twootherwise, you shall have such an order.'

  'Weel, weel, then ye shall be put up like a prince,' said Mac-Guffog.'But mark ye me, friend, that we may have nae colly-shangie afterhend,these are the fees that I always charge a swell that must have hislib-ken to himsell:--Thirty shillings a week for lodgings, and a guineafor garnish; half a guinea a week for a single bed; and I dinna get thewhole of it, for I must gie half a crown out of it to Donald Laiderthat's in for sheep-stealing, that should sleep with you by rule, andhe'll expect clean strae, and maybe some whisky beside. So I makelittle upon that.'

  'Well, sir, go on.'

  'Then for meat and liquor, ye may have the best, and I never chargeabune twenty per cent ower tavern price for pleasing a gentleman thatway; and that's little eneugh for sending in and sending out, andwearing the lassie's shoon out. And then if ye're dowie I will sit wi'you a gliff in the evening mysell, man, and help ye out wi' yourbottle. I have drank mony a glass wi' Glossin, man, that did you up,though he's a justice now. And then I'se warrant ye'll be for fire thircauld nights, or if ye want candle, that's an expensive article, forit's against the rules. And now I've tell'd ye the head articles of thecharge, and I dinna think there's muckle mair, though there will aye besome odd expenses ower and abune.'

  'Well, sir, I must trust to your conscience, if ever you happened tohear of such a thing; I cannot help myself.'

  'Na, na, sir,' answered the cautious jailor, 'I'll no permit you to besaying that. I'm forcing naething upon ye; an ye dinna like the price,ye needna take the article. I force no man; I was only explaining whatcivility was. But if ye like to take the common run of the
house, it'sa' ane to me; I'll be saved trouble, that's a'.'

  'Nay, my friend, I have, as I suppose you may easily guess, noinclination to dispute your terms upon such a penalty,' answeredBertram. 'Come, show me where I am to be, for I would fain be alone fora little while.'

  'Ay, ay, come along then, Captain,' said the fellow, with a contortionof visage which he intended to be a smile; 'and I'll tell you now--toshow you that I HAVE a conscience, as ye ca't--d--n me if I charge yeabune six-pence a day for the freedom o' the court, and ye may walkin't very near three hours a day, and play at pitch-and-toss and handba' and what not.'

  With this gracious promise he ushered Bertram into the house, andshowed him up a steep and narrow stone staircase, at the top of whichwas a strong door, clenched with iron and studded with nails. Beyondthis door was a narrow passage or gallery, having three cells on eachside, wretched vaults, with iron bed-frames and straw mattresses. Butat the farther end was a small apartment of rather a more decentappearance, that is, having less the air of a place of confinement,since, unless for the large lock and chain upon the door, and thecrossed and ponderous stanchions upon the window, it rather resembledthe 'worst inn's worst room.' It was designed as a sort of infirmaryfor prisoners whose state of health required some indulgence; and, infact, Donald Laider, Bertram's destined chum, had been just dragged outof one of the two beds which it contained, to try whether clean strawand whisky might not have a better chance to cure his intermittingfever. This process of ejection had been carried into force by Mrs.Mac-Guffog while her husband parleyed with Bertram in the courtyard,that good lady having a distinct presentiment of the manner in whichthe treaty must necessarily terminate. Apparently the expulsion had nottaken place without some application of the strong hand, for one of thebed-posts of a sort of tent-bed was broken down, so that the tester andcurtains hung forward into the middle of the narrow chamber, like thebanner of a chieftain half-sinking amid the confusion of a combat.

  'Never mind that being out o' sorts, Captain,' said Mrs. Mac-Guffog,who now followed them into the room; then, turning her back to theprisoner, with as much delicacy as the action admitted, she whippedfrom her knee her ferret garter, and applied it to splicing andfastening the broken bed-post; then used more pins than her apparelcould well spare to fasten up the bed-curtains in festoons; then shookthe bed-clothes into something like form; then flung over all atattered patch-work quilt, and pronounced that things were now'something purpose-like.' 'And there's your bed, Captain,' pointing toa massy four-posted hulk, which, owing to the inequality of the floor,that had sunk considerably (the house, though new, having been built bycontract), stood on three legs, and held the fourth aloft as if pawingthe air, and in the attitude of advancing like an elephant passant uponthe panel of a coach,--'there's your bed and the blankets; but if yewant sheets, or bowster, or pillow, or ony sort o' nappery for thetable, or for your hands, ye 'll hae to speak to me about it, forthat's out o' the gudeman's line (Mac-Guffog had by this time left theroom, to avoid, probably, any appeal which might be made to him uponthis new exaction), and he never engages for ony thing like that.'

  'In God's name,' said Bertram, 'let me have what is decent, and makeany charge you please.'

  'Aweel, aweel, that's sune settled; we'll no excise you neither, thoughwe live sae near the custom-house. And I maun see to get you some fireand some dinner too, I'se warrant; but your dinner will be but a puirane the day, no expecting company that would be nice and fashious.' Sosaying, and in all haste, Mrs. Mac-Guffog fetched a scuttle of livecoals, and having replenished 'the rusty grate, unconscious of a fire'for months before, she proceeded with unwashed hands to arrange thestipulated bed-linen (alas, how different from Ailie Dinmont's!), and,muttering to herself as she discharged her task, seemed, in inveteratespleen of temper, to grudge even those accommodations for which she wasto receive payment. At length, however, she departed, grumbling betweenher teeth, that 'she wad rather lock up a haill ward than be fikingabout thae niff-naffy gentles that gae sae muckle fash wi' theirfancies.'

  When she was gone Bertram found himself reduced to the alternative ofpacing his little apartment for exercise, or gazing out upon the sea insuch proportions as could be seen from the narrow panes of his window,obscured by dirt and by close iron bars, or reading over the records ofbrutal wit and blackguardism which despair had scrawled upon thehalf-whitened walls. The sounds were as uncomfortable as the objects ofsight; the sullen dash of the tide, which was now retreating, and theoccasional opening and shutting of a door, with all its accompanimentsof jarring bolts and creaking hinges, mingling occasionally with thedull monotony of the retiring ocean. Sometimes, too, he could hear thehoarse growl of the keeper, or the shriller strain of his helpmate,almost always in the tone of discontent, anger, or insolence. At othertimes the large mastiff chained in the courtyard answered with furiousbark the insults of the idle loiterers who made a sport of incensinghim.

  At length the tedium of this weary space was broken by the entrance ofa dirty-looking serving-wench, who made some preparations for dinner bylaying a half-dirty cloth upon a whole-dirty deal table. A knife andfork, which had not been worn out by overcleaning, flanked a crackeddelf plate; a nearly empty mustard-pot, placed on one side of thetable, balanced a salt-cellar, containing an article of a greyish, orrather a blackish, mixture, upon the other, both of stoneware, andbearing too obvious marks of recent service. Shortly after, the sameHebe brought up a plate of beef-collops, done in the frying-pan, with ahuge allowance of grease floating in an ocean of lukewarm water; and,having added a coarse loaf to these savoury viands, she requested toknow what liquors the gentleman chose to order. The appearance of thisfare was not very inviting; but Bertram endeavoured to mend his commonsby ordering wine, which he found tolerably good, and, with theassistance of some indifferent cheese, made his dinner chiefly off thebrown loaf. When his meal was over the girl presented her master'scompliments, and, if agreeable to the gentleman, he would help him tospend the evening. Bertram desired to be excused, and begged, insteadof this gracious society, that he might be furnished with paper, pen,ink, and candles. The light appeared in the shape of one long brokentallow-candle, inclining over a tin candlestick coated with grease; asfor the writing materials, the prisoner was informed that he might havethem the next day if he chose to send out to buy them. Bertram nextdesired the maid to procure him a book, and enforced his request with ashilling; in consequence of which, after long absence, she reappearedwith two odd volumes of the 'Newgate Calendar,' which she had borrowedfrom Sam Silverquill, an idle apprentice, who was imprisoned under acharge of forgery. Having laid the books on the table she retired, andleft Bertram to studies which were not ill adapted to his presentmelancholy situation.