Second Chances
Page 2
“Two months.”
“Two months?!”
“You were in a coma. We just had to wait until you woke up on your own.”
Chaun froze. He stared down at the jello container in his hand. He had not thought of the possibility of the damage from the accident being so severe. He got mad. His face grew red, breathing became more labored, and his chest and shoulders began puffing up. “I take it Kat’s at home with the baby enjoying her time alone?”
Dave looked at Michelle, then the floor. He looked up at Chaun. “Kat’s dead. She hit her head when the car collided with the truck. She had a lot of pressure and bleeding around her brain. The paramedics kept her alive until they got her here. They took her for surgery and thought they had got most of the blood. Apparently, they didn’t, she died two days later due to a blood clot in her heart.”
The facial color that was red moments before drained leaving Chaun’s face a sickly white. He grasped for rationality. He knew his parents wouldn’t lie about something this serious, but part of his mind still wondered. He hoped they were lying to him so there was still a chance he could apologize for his words that night. Within a few moments, he finally accepted that his parents were truthful. As the news sank in, Chaun’s face contorted. He was falling into a chasm. The last words he said to Kat and that look of anguish on her face flashed through his mind. He couldn’t see her face happy again, nor take back what was said. He had no way of making amends for how he had wronged her. No matter how shitty Kat treated him, she didn’t deserve an outburst like that. Chaun didn’t feel the container fall from his hand, nor hear the clack of the container and spoon as they bounced off his cast and to the floor. He didn’t notice the red trail left behind by the spilled contents. Chaun covered his face with his hands and let that dark cover blind his tears to the outside world. All that could be heard were his screams of pain. His dad stepped forward and laid his hand on Chaun’s shoulder. His mom walked to him and started rubbing his back between his shoulder blades.
Dave whispered, as he placed his hand on Chaun’s shoulder, “It’ll be okay son. We are here to help you through this. It’s not going to be easy, but we’ll assist in any way we can.”
“I can never take back what I said. The last look on her face, I can’t erase that from memory.”
“Chaun. Look at me.” Chaun looked up to find his father’s face portraying pure sincerity. Dave’s expression was one of genuine concern. “What are you talking about?”
“Our last moments together were spent arguing. It was probably the worst fight we’ve ever had in all the time we’d been together. I told her she was making my life a living hell and I was leaving her. Right after I said it and saw her reaction was when we wrecked.”
Dave’s voice still remained calm and concerned. “That’s a demon you will have to deal with on your own. For everything else we are here.”
Michelle softly touched the side of Chaun’s face. “Chaun. There is a little bit of good news.”
“How can there be good news?” Chaun’s voice rising to a yell. His face growing red again.
“They saved the baby. She’s doing decent enough. They haven’t released her yet. When you’re ready, they are still waiting to give her a name.”
“Is she healthy?” Chaun sighed, and his facial expression softened.
Michelle said, “She is now. It was touch and go the first few weeks, but she’s out of danger now.”
Chaun sighed once again, and his shoulders relaxed. “Well, at least there is some good news.”
“Do you want to see her?”
“Not yet. I need to wrap my mind around all of this and get composed before I hold her. You know how infants are with sensing negative emotions, let alone, me being able to face her myself.”
“That’s true.” Michelle patted his arm. “Let us know when you’re ready, and we can have her brought down.”
“I will. I just hope I can work through this guilt.”
As he patted Chaun on the shoulder, Dave said, “I know you can son. Just like your body, healing will take time.”
“Speaking of which, how much damage was done.”
“The car impacted at 30mph. Both of your legs were broken, and you hit your head on the steering wheel. Since your rate was slow enough, the airbags didn’t deploy. If you were going five mph faster, the outcome might have been entirely different. The airbags would have deployed, and the injuries may have just been minor compared to what you both sustained.”
Chaun slowly nodded his head with a distant look in his eyes. “So fate rested on a couple miles per hour. Great, next time I’ll remember to slow down just enough and purposefully impact what I should attempt to avoid. If that driver had been paying attention, we wouldn’t be having this fucking conversation, and my life would be continuing as normal. Then it would have just remained a damned argument that night.”
*
Dave and Michelle sat by Chaun’s side for the next few hours. He went through phases of crying and composure. His parents were surprised he was taking everything so well. Dave thought that it was partially due to shock and having so much information dumped on him within a few minutes. After some time had passed, Dave said to Michelle, “Are you getting hungry?” She gave a slight nod. Dave patted her on the knee. “We’ll be back soon. We’re going to grab some chow.”
Chaun nodded, “All right pop. As soon as I can have solid food again, I wouldn’t mind a burger and fries.”
Dave chuckled, “You bet. I also wanted to let you know that your nurse, Denise, is one of the staff that we’ve grown to trust wholeheartedly.”
Chaun nodded, “Her demeanor does seem personable and respectful. She wouldn’t answer any of my questions. After she had realized I was awake, she left the room to phone you. Actually, she told me outright that you two and no one else were the ones who wanted to answer my questions.”
“And that’s why we trust her. Most of the other nurses would probably have tried to address some of your questions against our wishes. We’ll be back in a little bit. If you have any questions, feel free to ask Denise. I’ll let her know that she’s trusted enough to answer any questions of yours. Love you son. We’ll be back.”
Chaun nodded, “Thanks, Dad, I love you too. Oh, while I’m thinking about it, has Jake been by?”
“He came by over the first few days and camped out. He’s actually away on vacation right now. He said he’d swing by after he got back. We’ll be back in a little while. Love you son.”
“Love you too Dad.”
As they left and walked past the nurses’ station, Dave spoke with Denise, “We are going for a bite to eat. Would you be able to check on him a little more than usual? I think he’s partially in shock and that everything hasn’t sunk in fully. He is breaking down in phases.”
“I would be glad to Mr. Hutchins. I’ll call you if anything comes up.”
“Thanks, hun.”
“Are there any more restrictions to answering any of his questions?”
“With anyone else I’d say treat carefully, but after we’ve got to know you over the last few months, I trust your judgment and anything you’d say. You are one of the people that have been the most hospitable with our family.”
Denise smiled, “Thank you. It’s always nice to hear a compliment. Enjoy your dinner.”
A few minutes later Denise entered Chaun’s room to check his vitals and see how he was holding up. When she walked into the room, she could tell he had been crying. “Hi Denise, I must look like a mess.”
Walking around to the right side of his bed and placing her hand on his arm she said, “It’s okay. I’m shocked you don’t seem more distraught. I know it has to be rough.”
He looked at the ceiling and shook his head, “I don’t think the news has fully hit me yet. It’s a lot to take in. Could you do me a favor?” He looked back at her.
She made eye contact, and he read complete sincerity. “Name it hun. I will help any way I can.”
“I would be glad to let him know you want to speak with him.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome.” When she turned to leave she walked up to the dry, erase board. “Wasn’t this filled out when I came in?”
“I think it was.”
“I don’t know who keeps erasing this board. Someone has been erasing it since you arrived.”
After Denise had left the room, his mind wandered for some time. His parents were right, she seemed very trustworthy. The look in her eyes was completely genuine. Honesty of that magnitude was rare. Chaun hoped the Chaplain would be of some help in working things out. It bothered him that losing the person he had loved for so long did not faze him the way loss would affect someone in a similar situation.
4
Chaun was sitting up in his bed eating more jello for breakfast when an older man walked into his room. He was medium height with gray hair. The man was late 50’s or early 60’s. Chaun saw the man was holding a book in his left hand. “You must be the Chaplain.”
He smiled, “That I am, my name is Charles Bishop. I was told that you wanted to speak with me.”
“Yes. I was told some news yesterday that hasn’t fully hit home yet. I know part of my delayed reaction is due to shock. I was wondering if you knew of some ways I could lessen the pain and make it easier to cope once the shock wears off.”
“There are a few pieces of advice I could give…” At that moment the Chaplain’s glasses magnified Charles’ irises changing color. The color changed from brown to black. The room, Chaun realized, had become frigid. What happened next, Chaun was not prepared for. Charles started an onslaught of yelling. His voice was much higher in pitch and strained. “How could you do it Chaun?”
Chaun was in disbelief. The color drained from his face, and he sat agape. “Do what?”
“You know exactly what, you piece of shit! How does it feel to know that you can’t take back what you said? Seeing the pain before the crash, how many times has that flashed in your mind since the accident?”
Chaun with a frightened look in his eyes responded just above a whisper, “Who told you about the crash?” The black in Charles’ eyes seemed to drain back into his pupils. He looked at Chaun with a total look of horror and confusion. He didn’t say a word. He just turned on his heels and bolted from the room.
Denise heard the commotion, saw the Chaplain leave Chaun’s room, and briskly walked past the nurses’ station with his head down. She watched him enter the elevator. As soon as the doors were closed, she went directly to Chaun’s room. When she entered, she was dumbfounded. Chaun was sitting in bed with a blank look on his face. The tracks of tears shimmered in the light. “You okay?”
Chaun’s reply was monotone, “I don’t know. Does the Chaplain usually seem like he needs a shrink?”
Her brow furrowed with concern and anger. “I heard it from the station. What all happened?”
“He came in, we started having a normal conversation, and then things went crazy.”
Denise raised her right eyebrow, “Crazy as in just him yelling at you?”
“No, crazy as in, he stopped mid-sentence. Then his eyes changed color. After that, he started yelling at me. He began placing blame on me for the accident. The room got frigid as well. Has someone told him about the crash?”
“Not to my knowledge. My letting him know you wanted to talk to him is the only information I gave him. I don’t know how he would have known about the accident.”
Denise shook her head, her face remaining confused. “That’s weird. He was going on about the crash and then right before he bolted from the room it was almost as if his pupils sucked the black color from his irises.”
“That is strange. Are you going to be okay?” Denise placed her hand on his left hand.
“Yeah, it just caught me off-guard and started bringing up guilty feelings again.”
She patted his hand and smiled at Chaun, “If you need anything you know how to get ahold of me.”
Chaun nodded, “I’ll keep that in mind. Are you typically allowed to sit and talk with patients after hours?” He smiled slightly.
“Not typically, but they sometimes make exceptions. I’m sure with your case they wouldn’t mind.”
“Thanks. It just gets kind of boring sitting here in the evening. Granted, I’ve last night and prior hospitalizations to form that opinion. TV can only hold your attention for so long.”
Denise laughed, “That’s true. Let’s see how the rest of my day goes. I may be able to talk for a couple minutes before I head out.”
*
When Dave and Michelle stepped off the elevator, Denise raised her hand, “Dave.” Dave and Michelle walked up to the nurses’ desk. Dave stood across the desk from her.
“Is everything okay?”
Dave could tell something was off. Her facial expression said that things had not gone smoothly after they had left. “The Chaplain came to see him while you were gone. Chaun had asked me yesterday to see if the Chaplain would be able to come and speak with him.”
As if to himself, Dave asked, “Why did he do that?”
“I don’t know,” her brow furrowed and she about broke down in tears, “I could hear the Chaplain yelling from out here. I went in after he left the room and Chaun had this blank, shocked look on his face with tears running down his cheeks. He said that the Chaplain had stopped mid-sentence and started yelling at him. He said it was weird. Somehow the Chaplain knew about the accident. I said nothing to him about the situation.”
Denise became a little frightened by the look on Dave’s face. It started turning red as his eyebrows angled downward when the bridge of his nose compressed in an expression of anger. She could tell that his breathing became heavier and deeper. Denise thought that, at any second, he would blow up at her. She winced and recoiled slightly thinking Dave’s few moments of silence was him preparing to go off on her. Instead, he calmly said, “If you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to talk to the Chaplain.”
5
When Dave entered the hospital Chapel, he was surprised to find the Chaplain sitting on the second pew from the front. If Dave had shown up on any other day, he would have found the Chapel excellent for its size. It had a red carpet, three to four rows of pews, and a nice looking cross hanging above the altar with a false stained glass window behind it. Dave was still boiling as he walked up to the man in the pew. “Are you the Chaplain?”
The Chaplain quietly turned and said, “That depends on who is asking.”
“I’m Dave Hutchins, Chaun Hutchins father.”
“Yes, I’m the Chaplain. Charles Bishop.” He held out his hand hoping Dave would shake it. He just stood looking down at it. Charles could tell that Dave was about ready to explode.
Dave’s arms shot up from his sides. “What the hell were you thinking?”
Charles motioned with his hand to the pew in front of him. His voice was soft and shaky. “Please sit.”
Dave calmed for a second realizing the man was willing to talk things out peacefully. His arms lowered returning to his sides and his shoulders relaxed. Something didn’t seem right. Why would someone be willing to talk so calmly and keep calm after yelling at someone for no valid reason? He sat down sideways with his right arm resting on the back of the pew. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t, all I remember is that I was in the middle of a sentence when it felt like something took over. I don’t remember anything about the hospital room for the next few minutes, and then I was back in the hospital room. When I came back around Chaun was staring at me with his mouth agape. When he asked how I knew about the accident, I knew something had gone on that was beyond explanation at that moment.”
Dave paused attempting not to laugh after seeing the grave look on the Chaplain’s face. �
�When you say you were no longer in the hospital room, what do you mean?”
“I mean I saw something else.” Dave could tell that the Chaplain was thoroughly confused. The Chaplain’s face portrayed an eccentric state. The look was serious yet lost as if he was reasoning back and forth within his mind grasping for viable answers.
“Did you see or hear anything, was it total darkness?”
Charles got quiet and looked down. He tried to find the words to describe it. “It was like… like I was dreaming. I was sitting in the passenger seat of a car. Chaun was yelling at me and being tactless. To sum it up he said I was making his life a living hell and he wanted a divorce. I felt nothing but shock and emotional pain. I remember seeing the brake lights of a semi, swerving, and seeing another vehicle before the car collided with it. The entire time I could hear a woman screaming. As soon as the collision occurred, the screaming stopped. Then I was back in the hospital room with Chaun looking like he had just witnessed something totally unbelievable.”
Dave’s face slowly regained its color as the Chaplain explained everything, then it kept losing color until he was pallid. “So, no one told you about the accident before you walked into the room, or even gave you any background as to the reason of Chaun being in the hospital?”
Charles shook his head confused and exasperated. “Nothing. All I was told was that he wished to speak with me.”
Dave nodded. His face had regained some color. He looked down at the pew he was sitting on then back up at Charles. “Chaplain, you just described the accident that killed Chaun’s wife. He said some awful things to her that night out of anger. He was driving and was able to slow down enough that the airbags didn’t deploy, which unfortunately caused him to be in a coma for two months and Kat’s death.”
Charles got quiet for a few moments and with an expression of total confusion said, “How is that possible?”
“I don’t know Chaplain, but apparently it is very possible. God is only half of reality. Anyone in your line of work knows this. Granted, this is my opinion but, the other half is just as real, and that’s where people have issues with accepting the other side of reality. Most Christians focus on the happy bliss of Christianity, but at the same time they walk blindly around not accepting that the Devil indeed exists as well as his minions.”