Half Wild

by Sally Green

  I remember most of being the animal, not all. I didn’t hunt anything. It was as if he was showing me around, helping me work out what it’s like, helping me get used to it, but I was always the passenger; he was in the driver’s seat. I was just in his body, though I don’t know what the body was. Judging by the paw prints, I think I was a wolf or large dog.

  I feel like I’ve gained some control over when I can transform. I’m sure I can stop it now and I can make it happen too.

  So tonight I’m staying inside, as me, partly cos I’m hoping Nesbitt will be back and partly because I don’t want to transform again so soon. I’m lying on one of the two beds in Gabriel’s room and I’m feeling positive.

  Positive Thought Number 1

  I am alive. I have my Gift and I’m beginning to be able to control it. This is a big deal. I am alive. I have my Gift and I’m beginning to be able to control it.

  That is super positive.

  Positive Thought Number 2

  I like Annalise. I’ve been thinking about her quite a bit and I like her. A lot. She likes me too. I think.

  Positive Thought Number 3

  Annalise is probably not in pain or suffering at the moment. She’s in a death-like sleep and it’s dangerous but the death-like bit of it is probably not obvious to her.

  Positive Thought Number 4

  We know where Mercury’s bunker is now. If Annalise is in there I really believe we’ll find a way to get her out safely. We have a good chance of beating Mercury. Four against one are pretty good odds. She’s on home turf but we have the element of surprise. She’s very powerful. We’re quite powerful. We’ve a good chance. Of course she could just freeze us all instantly in some ice storm or blow us away—literally—or, I don’t know, send giant hailstones down to beat us to death.

  Positive Thought Number 5

  There are four of us against Mercury, which means that I haven’t killed Nesbitt yet. And I don’t think I will kill him now. He doesn’t get to me like he used to.

  Positive Thought Number 6

  If we live through this I’ll be with Annalise. I know all our troubles won’t be over and there’s the whole Alliance thing, and living a quiet life is still a long way off, but I will be with her. I really want to kiss her for real, and do other things I’ve thought of doing with her for years and never even had the chance and—

  * * *

  “You OK?”

  It’s Gabriel. He’s here with me as always.

  “Yeah. Just thinking about stuff . . . you know. Positive stuff.”

  “Oh, right. You’re thinking about her. Annalise.”

  “A bit. I think we have a decent chance of making this work. Of saving her. And of living through it.”

  He doesn’t reply.

  “Don’t you think?”

  “Mercury will try to kill us and I think she’ll try very hard. She’s good at it.”

  I’m trying to keep things positive, so I say, “And I think the Alliance has a chance too. I mean, this could be a huge change. In a year’s time the whole witch world could be different.”

  Gabriel gets up and I turn to look at him. He leans against the wall, staring out the window. The sky is dark, overcast. The room is glowing faintly green from Van’s nightsmoke.

  He turns to look at me, then back out the window. His movements are stiff, jerky, as if he was going to say something but changed his mind.

  “Are you angry?” I ask.

  He doesn’t answer straightaway but then says, “A bit. Possibly a lot.”

  “With me?”

  “Who else.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t want to die, Nathan. I don’t want to die saving a girl I despise. A girl I don’t trust. A girl who I think has betrayed you and will betray you again. And being selfish for a while”—he turns to look at me—“I don’t think you’re even vaguely interested in what I want, are you?”

  I try to think of things to say, how much I like him, how I appreciate him, how I know he’s helped me. Crap words but maybe better than nothing. I start to say, “Gabriel, you’re my friend. You’re special. I couldn’t—”

  He interrupts me, loud now. “Do you know how special I am? Do you even care? You’re so caught up in your own dramas that you don’t see anything around you.”

  “Gabriel—”

  “The first person I killed,” he interrupts again, “I shot in the head. Point-blank range. She was kneeling at my feet; I’d tied her hands, her ankles. She was crying. Begging. Begging me to let her live. I shot her in the head, standing facing her, barrel of the gun to her forehead. She was looking up at me. I lowered the gun, pointed, pushed the gun against her skin, and pulled the trigger. To make sure, I shot her again through the side of the head, as her body lay on the ground. To make really sure, I pushed her body onto its back and shot her again in the heart.”

  “You’re trying to shock me.” I get up and go to him but I’m thrown for a second by how he looks.

  He looks harrowed.

  “Who was it?” I ask.

  “A girl. Someone who betrayed my sister to White Witches. Her name was Caitlin. She was a Half Blood my sister trusted, whom I trusted. And you might say at this point, ‘Oh, so Gabriel makes mistakes; he trusted someone who betrayed him—he’s not perfect at judging people.’ And you know what I say to that? I say, ‘You’re right. Of course you’re right.’ People are hard to read and you know what’s really tricky about them? They change, Nathan. They change. My sister trusted Caitlin and she was right to because Caitlin was good and kind and nice and she was trying to help. She was on our side, at the start. But you know what? They made her betray us. They do that; they turn people.”

  “That doesn’t mean it’s happened with Annalise.”

  “No, it doesn’t. And I may be wrong, Nathan. She may not have betrayed you. But, when I see Annalise, something about her reminds me of Caitlin.”

  “Gabriel—”

  “To be fair, I realize Caitlin didn’t have much choice, but she did have a choice. She was half White Witch and if she didn’t do what they wanted then they’d have made her life hell. But because of her they caught my sister. My sister loved a White Witch. Caitlin carried messages between them. But then my sister went to see him, went onto White Witch territory. She was always impulsive, full of life and excitement. They caught her. She was seventeen. The boy was too. He was imprisoned for a month and released. My sister was hanged. I don’t know what they did to her before they killed her. What do you think they’d do, Nathan?”

  I don’t reply. I know he doesn’t want an answer.

  “I still hate Caitlin. For weeks after I shot her, I wished I could do it again, so I could do it slower, cause her more pain and fear, make her suffer like my sister suffered.”

  I go to him. Hold him. It’s the first time I’ve done this—gone to him.

  I think he might break, might cry. But he pushes me away and stares at my face. “I think of my sister a lot, how much she suffered, what they would have done to her. I love you more than my sister, Nathan. I never thought that would be possible but it’s true. And I think you’re right. I think we do have a chance of beating Mercury, and I even think the Alliance has a chance. But more than that I think you’ll be killed, Nathan, and I think you will die a bad death, a painful, long, slow death. And I’m helpless to stop it because you can’t see that Annalise is wrong for you. You refuse to see it. So all I can promise is that I’ll try to help you and if I fail, if you die, I’ll cause whoever did it more pain than I gave Caitlin.”

  He walks out.

  So that was positive.

  We Make Our Plan

  “No. No. No.” Nesbitt is back and not being positive. “Look, I told you. There’ll be a protection spell.”

  It’s the next morning and we’re sitting round the kitchen table,
forming our plan. We’re trying to work out how to get into the bunker without Mercury knowing.

  “What about digging our way in?” Gabriel asks.

  “Of course.” Nesbitt slams the palm of his hand into his forehead. “All we need is some mining equipment, explosives, lifting gear, a few diggers. Shouldn’t take more than a couple of weeks.”

  We know he’s right. And I know that the only way in is the way I’ve thought all along.

  “I have to go to the door and knock.”

  They all look at me, except Gabriel, who acknowledges I’m right by keeping his head down.

  “She won’t kill me. Not straightaway anyway. She’ll want to know if I’ve got Marcus’s head or heart.”

  “How long do you think it’ll be before she works out the answer?” Nesbitt says.

  “About ten seconds,” Gabriel replies, looking up at me.

  “Yes,” I say. “But she’ll want to listen to what I have to offer. Last time I saw her she had just heard that Rose was dead, Marcus had given me three gifts and Hunters were invading her valley. She was furious and afraid. She’ll be neither of those when I walk in this time.”

  “You hope,” Nesbitt says.

  “So,” I continue, “I’ll say I want her to release Annalise. What will she accept instead of Marcus’s death?”

  Gabriel comments, “Yours probably.”

  “There’s the risk of that but I’m betting that Mercury will want to cause me as much pain as possible. She’ll want to show me Annalise, revel in her victory. I think she’ll invite me in. I think she’ll talk to me.”

  They all stare at me.

  “And then what?” Gabriel says. “Now you’ve done that so successfully.”

  “And then . . . And then you guys will have sneaked in behind me and will overpower Mercury, give her the persuading potion, find out how to wake Annalise, and we’ll make our escape.”

  Nesbitt laughs. Gabriel rolls his eyes.

  Van says, “It might work.”

  We all look at her in surprise.

  “Getting us all in is the trick. Mercury knows that Pilot was going to bring her a new apprentice,” Van says, looking at Pers, who is scowling in the corner. “Perhaps there’s a way of using her.”

  “I could take Pers to Mercury. She’d trust me,” Gabriel says. “I can watch Mercury to see what spell protects the entrance.”

  Silence. Van smokes her cigarette.

  I say, “I don’t think Gabriel should come.” If Mercury sees us together she’ll be more suspicious. “How about . . . I arrive with Pers. I’ve rescued her from Pilot’s attackers. ‘Don’t know what to do with her, thought she’d be happy with you, Mercury. Oh, and by the way, how’s Annalise?’ Mercury takes me to Annalise and Pers has time to work out the entrance spell.”

  “She’s French. She doesn’t understand a word of English. And she doesn’t want to help you anyway,” Gabriel says.

  “Tell her I’m bound to get killed and she’ll have the chance to watch. That should motivate her.”

  “No,” Van says. “You and Pers are needed to get in but someone else will have to learn about the access spell. This idea is good, though. With a few small changes it might work . . .”

  Mercury’s Bunker

  The next morning we’re ready. It’s early. There’s a clear, pale blue sky. It’s going to be a lovely day.

  Nesbitt says, “I’ve checked all around. This is the only entrance. Mercury must have a cut inside because I just don’t see how she can get the groceries in from this spot. The big question is . . . is she home?”

  “Only one way to find out,” I say.

  The entrance to the bunker is a narrow tunnel in the hillside. It gives no indication of how far it stretches as within a meter it’s black. The wooded hillside overlooks the lake. There are no footpaths, dog-walkers, or people. This isn’t England; this is Norway. Remote Norway.

  Gabriel and I walk up to the entrance: the first wave of our infiltration. Gabriel has transformed to look like Pers and is wearing her clothes. He looks just like her, walks like her, talks like her, and scowls like her. I’m fairly sure that he’s going to spit at me at some point, for authenticity.

  Our plan is for me and Gabriel to get into the bunker first. I’ll tell Mercury that I’m bringing Pers from Pilot and while I’m here I need to see Annalise, to be convinced she’s still alive. Mercury takes me to Annalise, and Gabriel slips away to let the others in. Nesbitt and Gabriel together surprise and overpower Mercury and give her a sleeping potion that Van has concocted. We think the two of them will have the strength to do this if they can get close enough without her suspecting. While Mercury is unconscious the persuading potion can be administered by Van.

  There are numerous ways that the plan could go wrong and, if Mercury even smells a trick, we’re all in trouble, in which case we’ve agreed that we forget the plan to save Annalise and concentrate on saving ourselves. As Nesbitt said, “We can’t help her if we’re all dead.”

  We go into the tunnel entrance. The air is still and even colder than outside. I switch on my torch as we walk slowly and cautiously forward. The walls are uneven, solid rock, as is the floor, and it feels like we’re being hemmed in: the walls narrow until we can no longer walk comfortably side by side.

  Ahead there is a door, or rather two doors. There’s a gate of metal bars and directly behind that a solid-looking wooden door with black metal studs embedded in it.

  I pull on the gate but it’s padlocked. The torchlight seems to have dimmed and the silence has deepened around us.

  I reach through the bars of the gate and knock hard on the wooden door with the flat of my hand, and then my fist, but it doesn’t make much noise. I bang again, harder, using the base of my torch. Even that sound seems to get swallowed up by the tunnel and I’m not sure if Mercury will be able to hear us. But maybe she can sense we’re here. Who knows what magic she will have protecting her home?

  I bang again and shout, “Mercury! You’ve got visitors.”

  We wait.

  I’m about to bang again when I think I hear something and Gabriel leans forward as if he’s heard it too. It’s the sound of a bolt being pulled across rusty metal. It screeches and complains and then goes quiet. Another bolt and more scraping of metal and then . . . silence. The wooden door swings open slowly and, as it does, I smell something unusual, something spicy. I glance at Gabriel and he nods quickly to confirm that he’s smelled it too and that it’s something to do with how the door opens. It doesn’t require a key or a password but something that smells spicy!

  The door opens onto blackness. But I know Mercury is there because the temperature drops dramatically.

  I raise my torch and there she stands. The same horrendous figure I remember: tall and gray, like a warped and rusted iron stake, her hair a bundle of wire wool piled on her head, her black eyes flashing with sheet lightning.

  She sends a blast of freezing air in my direction. I get icicles in my hair and nostrils. I have to close my eyes and turn away from her. My back goes numb with cold, the wind so strong that I’m bent over and holding onto the tunnel walls for support, trying to protect Gabriel with my body.

  Then, as quickly as it began, the wind stops. I straighten up and turn to face her.

  “Mercury!” I say by way of hello and now regret that I haven’t planned what else I need to say.

  “Nathan. This is a surprise. And I see you have a new friend.”

  “She’s not a friend. This is Pers. Pilot was going to bring her to you to be your apprentice, I believe, but . . . Pilot’s dead.”

  Mercury says nothing but her eyes flash brilliantly.

  “Hunters killed her. I was there. I escaped with Pers.”

  “And why have you come here? You wanted to drag Hunters after you to my home—again?”

  “No. They’ve
not followed me. That was a week ago.”

  “A week. A year. They’ll be following you all the same.”

  “I’ve lost them.”

  Mercury curls her lip. “And how did you find me?”

  “That doesn’t matter.” I know if I tell her Pilot told me she won’t believe it. “The point is I’m here.”

  “And why are you here? I said to kill Marcus and bring me his heart. I don’t see that anywhere.”

  “I wanted to talk to you about that. We didn’t have much time to discuss your offer, what with the Hunters shooting at us.”

  “It’s non-negotiable.”

  “You’re a businesswoman, Mercury. Everything is negotiable.”

  “That is not.”

  “You originally wanted me to kill Marcus in return for giving me three gifts, but before I set off to steal the Fairborn we agreed I would work for you for a year instead.”

  Mercury sneers at me. “And is that what you’re offering me now?”

  “No. In return for Annalise, I’m offering you Pers.”

  Mercury studies Gabriel and eventually says, “She was due to come to me anyway. I’ll take her.” Mercury opens the padlock with one of her hairpins, grabs Gabriel by the shoulder, drags him through the doorway, and pulls the gate shut. “But you and your father are different matters.”

  “But—” I grab hold of the gate.

  “No negotiations. Come back when you have Marcus’s head or heart.”

  This is just about the worst possible—and yet totally anticipated—reply.

  “I need to see Annalise,” I say, clinging on to the gate.

  “No, you don’t,” Mercury replies.

  “I do. How do I know she’s alive? I don’t even know where she is. For all I know, you left her to the Hunters. I’ll do what you ask, Mercury. If I can, I’ll do it. But I have to know that Annalise is alive. I have to see her first.”