This Cruel Love (A Dark Hearts Stand-Alone Novel Book 2)

by Nikki J Summers

  “It’s been what… fifteen… sixteen years of you sitting on some revenge plan and you’re just giving up that easy? Nah, I don’t buy it.”

  He took two or three deep breaths in through his nose and studied my face before he spoke again.

  “You like her, don’t you? That’s why you’ve shelved the plan. That’s why you cut off Ed and bad-mouthed him to anyone who’d listen.”

  “I cut off Ed because of what he did. He went into her apartment at three a.m. when she was, for all intents and purposes alone, and he scared the shit out of her. He did that in my name. I don’t do business like that, not where women are concerned.”

  He shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest mockingly.

  “Do you honestly think that what you’d got in store for Ryley, to get back at her family, was any better? Face it, you’re no better than Ed. Only difference is, you’ve recognised that what you were gonna do was fucked up, and you’ve done a one-eighty. I get it, I do. I like her too, but you know what? I’m not scared to admit it.”

  “It doesn’t matter what you or I think. She’s leaving. She can do what she wants. I’m not her keeper. She’s not mine.”

  “She’s not his now either. Jesus, will you get your head out of your ass for just a second and see what this could be?”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “It could be something. Aren’t you even the slightest bit curious about what could happen between the two of you if you put yourself out there? Don’t you want to try and find out what it would be like to be with her? She’s awesome. Listen, I know you better than you think. You’re a closed off, moody shit. I get that that’s your thing, but since she came on the scene, you’ve changed. You’ve been… different. Hell, I don’t know how to explain it, I’m not a chick.”

  “Maybe I’ve just learned to let go of the anger?” I argued.

  “Yeah, because sixteen years of waiting for that chance to get the revenge you’ve lusted after since we were on the streets, that’s just gonna up and vanish. You’ve grown a conscience, and it’s because of her. It’s not a bad thing, but it’s happened. You have to acknowledge that at least. Tell me, why did you wait so long to start all this?” he asked.

  “I told you, I needed to be financially secure. I needed the power behind me. People I could use. Her family, her father; he’s no pushover. Jesus, what am I saying? This doesn’t even matter anymore.”

  I went to walk back into the club and up to my office, my sanctuary from the world below. But Cill wasn’t finished with me yet. He wasn’t giving up any time soon.

  “She gets under your skin, doesn’t she? Makes you want to tear your hair out one minute and tear her clothes off the next. You know that means she’s the one, don’t you? That’s something you can’t let walk away, Jax.”

  I spun round to face him. “You know what? I have no plan. I have no idea why she’d even want to stay with me after tonight. What am I supposed to do? Blackmail her some more? You think she’s gonna see me as a catch? The guy who threatened her and her boyfriend. The one who’s forced her into all this? I’m the bad guy and you know what? I’m fine with that. It makes life easy.”

  “What’s so fun about easy? Where’s the challenge in that? Come on, man, you love a challenge. Isn’t she the ultimate?” He really wouldn’t stop goading me.

  “Why are you pushing me? What’s your problem? Do you want her? Is that what this is all about? Are you trying to get me to make her stay so you can have a pop?”

  His nostrils flared in fury and he stabbed his finger into my chest as he spoke. “You’re an asshole, you know that? No, I’m not interested in her in that way. I care about her. I want to see her happy. Hell, I’m even rooting for you too, you loser. Would a bit of happiness in your life really be so bad?”

  I wasn’t stupid. Men like me didn’t get the whole happily ever after, marriage and family thing. That’d never been on the cards for me. Why Cill was pushing so hard like this was just annoying as fuck, and it was really starting to piss me off. A girl like Ryley would never choose to be with a man like me, not for long anyway. What did I have to offer, other than a few clubs and a truck load of emotional baggage? No. I was better off alone, keeping my demons to myself. It worked for me before, it’d work again.

  “Enough. I don’t want to hear anymore.”

  I turned to leave and he gave me his last parting shot.

  “You’re letting the best thing that ever happened to you walk away. You’re an idiot.”

  Maybe so, but I was an idiot with my heart and self-respect still intact, almost.

  My eyes were stinging from all the dumb-ass crying I’d been doing for most of the night. I woke up pissed at myself for losing so many tears over what was clearly the biggest douchebag to ever walk the planet. He’d certainly pulled the wool over my eyes. Seven years I’d devoted to him. What a total waste of my time. I knew I’d have plenty more nights where all I wanted to do was cry and wallow in my own pity party. But I also tried to remind myself that I was worth more. Thank God I’d found out now, and not after the wedding. Liam had done me a favour.

  Daisy had been beyond sweet to put me up for the night, and sit listening to my drunken, crazy ranting and bawling into the small hours. She told me she’d always feared Justin was after my grandma’s inheritance money that’d come to me when I was twenty-five, but she hoped and prayed she was wrong. She felt like a shit friend for not warning me, but I reminded her that I probably wouldn’t have listened anyway. I didn’t blame her. I tried not to blame myself, but that one was harder to do.

  As for Justin? I never wanted to see or speak to him again. Daisy’s mum and dad had already offered to pick up my things from his apartment; they were the nicest people. I guessed Jackson wouldn’t be paying for any more rehab, and I didn’t want to be anywhere near Justin’s place when he did come home. I’d have to face him one day, but that day wasn’t going to be any time soon.

  Daisy dropped me off outside Jackson’s around noon. She wanted to come up and help me pack up my stuff, but I didn’t want to pull her into whatever drama was bound to happen when I got up there. I wanted to keep my real life separate from the fucked up fakeness that I’d been drawn into because of Justin, the gutter rat. The nickname sure did suit him now, that was for sure.

  I pushed through the front door to be greeted by Jackson standing in the middle of the living area, gulping down a bottle of water and dressed in grey sweats and a tight white vest. He’d obviously just worked out judging from the sweat marks on his clothes. His face had beads of sweat, and his hair was slicked back from his forehead. I couldn’t stop myself from gawping at him. Even after a workout, he looked ridiculously hot. What was it with my subconscious checking him out just lately? First the whole jeans shopping trip, and now here, today. I was losing the plot.

  “You okay?” He stood still, staring at me with those intense grey eyes of his, and I couldn’t help but notice that he appeared nervous or on edge.

  “I will be, once I’ve moved on and got my life back,” I snapped.

  How long that’d take, I had no idea. How long does it take to get over a seven-year relationship that you gave your all to?

  “I take it our road trip to the rehab centre today is off then?”

  His weak attempt at humour was awkward and ill-timed.

  “I’m sorry, bad joke. Humour isn’t my strong point.” He grimaced.

  “Neither is compassion,” I bit back.

  I strode off to the bedroom to make a start on collecting my things. I wheeled my suitcase out from the bottom of the wardrobe, and started throwing things in without any thought to tidiness or organisation.

  “Where are you gonna go?”

  Jackson was leaning up against the open door frame, arms crossed over his chest, and making a really commendable effort to look concerned about me.

  “What do you care?”

  “I don’t want to see you out on the streets. I do care.”

 
I huffed and rolled my eyes, not giving a damn that I looked and sounded like the stroppy teenager he’d previously accused me of being.

  “I’m not your concern. You don’t need to know where I go or what I do.”

  He stepped into my room, as if he wanted to show me how serious he was.

  “So you told me yesterday after your night out, but guess what? I’m not totally heartless. I need to know you’re safe.”

  I sat down on the edge of the bed and looked across at him. “You know what? I don’t know where I’m gonna go. I can’t go back to Justin’s. Even thinking about that place and what he did makes my skin crawl.”

  He sat down next to me on the bed. My first instinct was to stand up to get away from him, but I didn’t. I found his closeness unnerving, unsettling. He always made me feel like the prey to his predator. Whether he meant to do it or not, I had no idea.

  “What about your parents? Can’t you go home to them?”

  I sighed, thinking about the cross-examination I’d get from them. I honestly didn’t have the energy for it.

  “They’re due back from their travels in two days. I miss them, but I don’t know if I’ve got the energy to go through the whole, ‘What happened? Why aren’t you with Justin? What did he do?’ interrogation. Plus, Gloria has probably already spilled everything about the other night, when she met us at the gala. I think I’m gonna check into a hotel. Just until I can get myself straight.”

  “No. That’s not happening,” he stated stubbornly.

  “Again, my decision.” I met his stubborn glare with my own. “Anyway, I can’t stay with Daisy. She still lives with her parents and I don’t think they’d appreciate me taking over their couch for another night. My other friends have no space to put me up. And as for Travis, he has enough on his plate sorting things out with Cassie. I don’t want to put this on him, or anyone else. No. I’ve decided, I’m checking into a hotel. It’s easier.”

  “You could come and stay with me, blondie. I’ve got plenty of room.” Cillian was in the hallway, with a rather embarrassed Sylvie standing next to him.

  “Sorry, I let him in.” She smiled sheepishly and scuttled back down the corridor.

  “She’s not moving in with you,” Jackson growled, sending an evil glare Cillian’s way. “She’s staying here. Her things are already here. It makes sense.”

  “It sure does.” Cillian smirked and raised his eyebrow at me, waiting for my reply.

  “Why would I stay here? Why would you even want me to stay here? It’s not like either one of us is invested in this whole rehab, ninety day agreement anymore. I’m not, anyway.”

  Jackson leant forward, his fingers threading together as he turned to look Cillian’s way, then back at me.

  “Maybe we change the agreement.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “To what?”

  He sat up straight and took a deep breath in. “You stay here, help me with the charity. Get it going, and bring in that funding you were so adamant about before. In return, I’ll pay you a salary and give you free board here. That is until you’ve gotten yourself back on your feet, to do the whole independent woman thing.”

  I furrowed my brow, trying to think of a better alternative. I couldn’t.

  “Sounds like a good deal to me,” Cillian said. “You get to do that ‘every day has a purpose’ thing and live here rent free. Come on, Tink. Put us out of our misery here. Are you staying?”

  I bit my lip. “Do I still have to pretend to be your girlfriend and do all the boring event stuff?”

  “Not if you don’t want to. In fact, you could come, but it could be a business thing. You know, networking for the charity.”

  “Yeah, and watching over him at the same time,” Cillian added. “Make sure he doesn’t make a complete ass of himself when he’s let out alone at night.”

  “Don’t you have somewhere else you need to be?” Jackson bit back, and Cill smirked.

  “I’ll be on my way as soon as I know where this one is sleeping tonight.”

  “Fine. I’ll stay,” I said, surprising myself.

  I had to admit, it did appeal to me. Being able to mould and shape the charity to what I’d envisioned ever since he’d told me about it. I didn’t want to walk away from an opportunity like that. Not when it could bring so much support to people in need. I knew working on something like that would be rewarding, right up my street. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity for me. I certainly wouldn’t get that kind of experience or job satisfaction working for my father. Okay, so I’d have to learn to live a little longer with Jackson’s moody ass, but it beat a cold, empty hotel room. He might have been a dark angel, but I did enjoy his nightly piano playing. Plus, sparring with him, sharing wicked banter like we did, it was kinda fun.

  At that moment, Sylvie appeared from behind the door.

  “Thank goodness you’re staying, love. I was looking forward to making my homemade cottage pie for you this week. It’s Len’s favourite.” She grinned. “And Jackson’s too.”

  He blushed. The dark angel actually blushed, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

  JACKSON

  I gestured for Cill to leave her room and we made our way back through to the living area.

  “You pulled that one out of the bag, didn’t you?” He walked over to the door to leave.

  “Haven’t had much else to think about all night.”

  To be honest, I hadn’t slept at all, just stayed awake thinking about what I’d do when she came home. I’d thought a hell of a lot about what Cill had said too, and he was right. I couldn’t let her walk away. I knew I didn’t deserve her, but I didn’t want anyone else to have her either. I didn’t know what would happen between us, if anything. But I knew one thing; she wasn’t leaving me today. I wanted her close by. She made me feel calmer, more at peace than I’d felt in years. I couldn’t give that up, not now.

  Seventeen years ago…

  “What’re you doing, son?”

  My dad ambled wearily into my room. He was still dressed in his pyjamas. It was four in the afternoon, but it wasn’t unusual for him to be like this. Sometimes he wouldn’t leave his bed for days on end, choosing to hide from the world behind his bedroom door. I hated those days the most. I felt like the parent on those days. I’d bring him food and drink, encourage him to shower and clean up. He never listened though. In the end, I had to wait it out until the dark cloud passed and he was back to being a fully functioning dad again.

  “I’m packing my fishing gear. Travis and his dad are going fishing today and they said I could tag along.”

  I was going to invite my dad too, but judging from his lack of clothing, I figured he was bunking down for the foreseeable future, doing his absent parent routine. It bothered me less these days.

  It’d always been me and dad against the world, ever since Mum died when I was two. Just the two of us. The guys, as he liked to call us. He treated me more like a friend than a son sometimes, expecting me to provide emotional support for him, even though I was only fourteen. I tried my best, but it was difficult never knowing what version of my dad I was gonna get from one day to the next.

  “Not today, son.” He shook his head and took my holdall with some of my fishing gear off my bed, throwing it back into my closet.

  “Dad, I’m going. It’s the school holidays and we haven’t done anything all week. I like being with Travis and his dad. It’s fun.”

  I tried to make a grab for my holdall, but he shoved me backwards and I fell onto my bed.

  “When I say no, I mean no. You’re my son, and you’ll do as I say.”

  “I’m fourteen and I can do what I like,” I argued back.

  “Not under my roof you can’t. Anyway, you won’t be welcome there. These trips to the Emerson’s… they’re gonna have to stop. You can’t go there anymore.”

  “That’s bullshit,” I snapped, ready to bolt out the door and leave him to fend for himself.

  “Watch your mouth!” he scolded me,
moving to stand over where I was on the bed. “I know you like them. I know you like the whole family thing they have going on, but that’s all coming to an end now. We’re going to have to start making some changes soon. Things around here are gonna be a bit… different for a while.”

  I didn’t have a clue what he was on about, but I did know one thing; I wasn’t giving up my visits to the Emerson’s for anything. I loved that house, the family, all of them. They kept me sane, especially when dad was going through one of his downers. Just an afternoon with them made me feel a part of something that was exciting, hopeful.

  “How? How will anything be different?” I shouted.

  I could feel a full-on sulk coming on. A day stuck at home with my dad wallowing in his pit wasn’t the best.

  “Nina, Mrs Emerson, she’ll be moving in with us for a while.”

  My throat went dry.

  “Why? What’s going on, Dad?”

  I didn’t want to hear his answer. I dreaded what he was going to say.

  “Because I love her. She loves me, and she’s leaving Harry to be with me.”

  And there it was, the knife through my body, piercing my heart and my lungs simultaneously, making it difficult to breathe, and creating an immense overpowering pain in my chest. I felt nothing but disgust for my father in that moment.

  “Why? Why would she do that? She can’t leave them. She can’t leave the family. Travis will never speak to me again, and what about Ryley? She’s only six, Dad. She’s too little to lose her mum. Why are you doing this?”

  I hated him. I didn’t want Mrs Emerson coming to live with us. I’d rather never see them again than break up their family like my dad was suggesting.

  “We haven’t decided where the kids will go, but Nina will be here, make no mistake.”

  I pushed off the bed and bumped my dad out of the way as I headed for the door.

  “I hate you!” I spat out. “I hate you and I’ll never forgive you for this. Move Nina in, but don’t expect me to stay here with you. I’d rather live on the streets than here with you and her.”