by Joyce Alec
“No, not yet,” Hazel whispered, her throat a little dry. “I was wondering if you’d want to ask me?”
He blinked, a little surprised, before his smile grew into a broad grin. “You know what you want, don’t you?”
Laughing softly, Hazel held out her hand in an open invitation. “Sure do. And I ain’t afraid to go out and get it.” She lifted her chin and kept his gaze, suddenly struck with a sudden fear that he might not like that about her, that he might step away and refuse to dance with her.
“An honest woman then,” he murmured, looking at her steadily for a moment longer. “I think I like that.” Taking her hand, he shot her a quick smile before leading her out to join the rest of the couples on the dance floor.
2
Hazel smiled to herself, as she dipped her feet into the small, winding river that ran through the dusty ground, leading towards a small copse of trees. She walked slowly through the river, enjoying the sensation. Tipping her face to the sky, she closed her eyes and drew in the sunshine, her heart practically singing with sheer contentment.
“You look beautiful.”
An involuntary shriek left her mouth, as she jerked in surprise, the basket in her hand practically flying to the ground.
“Christopher!” she exclaimed, trying to pick up her basket before it began to float downstream. “Whatever are you doing here?”
He chuckled and tipped his hat back a little more, bending to pick up all the things that had fallen out of her basket. “Following you, obviously.”
Her heart slowly bringing itself back down to a calmer state, Hazel rolled her eyes and laughed. “I won’t believe that.”
“I was out fetching one of the sheep that’d gone missing,” he explained, chuckling. “It is just over there.”
Hazel glanced through the trees to see Christopher’s horse standing in the shade, chewing on some small blades of grass it had found. A sheep was tethered to the horse’s bridle, although it made no attempt to escape from its confines.
“It knows it was far away from home,” Christopher explained, evidently seeing the surprise on Hazel’s face. “Got itself stuck in some kind of brambles. Just as well I found it too, the coyotes would have been out tonight.”
Hazel nodded, glancing over at him. “I’m just taking a bit of a walk,” she mumbled, a little self-conscious. “I meant to be heading straight home, but this place just called to me.” She looked out at the expanse of land just behind her, seeing the rolling hills far beyond her, she sighed happily and looked back at Christopher. “I’ll head back soon enough.”
“I’ll walk with you.”
Licking her lips, Hazel tried not to let her sudden burst of nerves show in her expression. “You don’t have to.”
Christopher looked at her steadily, his eyes never leaving hers. “What if I want to?”
Hazel couldn’t help but laugh, even though her heartbeat pounded loudly in her ears. “You sure are a lot bolder out here, Christopher.”
Shrugging, he reached over and caught her hand, walking alongside her as she kept walking along the riverbed. “That’s cause there ain’t no one out here but the two of us,” he replied softly. “I don’t mind telling you that I get a little self-conscious when there’s other folks watching.”
A sudden thought made Hazel frown, glancing up at him with a little bit of uncertainty. “Is that because you don’t want anyone knowing your business?”
There was a short pause. “No, it ain’t exactly that,” Christopher replied slowly, his hand tightening on hers. “It’s more that I ain’t never felt something like this before. I guess I’m just not sure what to do with it.”
Hazel’s stomach tightened, the frown fading from her features. “Really?”
The corner of his mouth tipped up. “Really,” he replied honestly. “I’m not going to pretend that I don’t feel nothing for you, Hazel. My heart says otherwise. It’s just not sure what to do about it all.”
Pressing her lips together for a moment, Hazel stopped walking and held his hand tightly, forcing him to look at her. “Do you want to kiss me?” Her heart thudded wildly in her chest as she looked up at him, seeing the surprise on his face.
He scratched his head, his eyes darting away. “Well, sure. I mean, I guess so, I just thought that….”
“I’m not afraid to go after what I want, Christopher,” she said quietly, coming away from the river to stand a little closer to him. “You should know that about me by now.”
His hands wrapped themselves around her waist, surprising her with his sudden eagerness. “I do,” he murmured, drawing her close against him. “I appreciate that about you, Hazel.”
Hazel had been kissed before, once or twice, but nothing had prepared her for this. Christopher’s mouth was firm and sure, his lips pressed to hers with both a gentleness that softened her heart and a fire that warmed her blood. Her fingers tangled in his hair as she kissed him back, standing on tiptoe so she might reach him better. His arms were strong, holding her tightly, his hands slowly beginning to explore her frame.
Breaking the kiss suddenly, Hazel pulled back and looked into his eyes, a flicker of worry sparking in her heart. “I think that’ll be enough for just now,” she murmured, hearing his ragged breathing. “I don’t want to be too late, and you’d best get on back with that sheep.”
Christopher did not let her go, his arms tightening just a little. “There ain’t no rush.” His hands began to run down the length of her body, forcing her to step away.
“There is for me,” she replied, laughing softly. “Besides, some of what you’re after ain’t for just now. That comes after.”
He frowned. “After?”
“After the wedding,” she replied, aware that her cheeks were heating. “Not that I’m saying we need to think about that right now, but I won’t be doing any more than kissing before then.”
She saw him glance away, his own face red. Clearly, he was more than aware of what she was saying and hadn’t quite found the words to deny it.
“I care about you, Christopher,” she continued, reaching for his hand. “Let's take this slow. I’m not going to pretend that kissing is all I want. I think about my future and whether or not you’ll be a part of it.” Her worry grew as he refused to look at her, afraid that she might have already let her heart get involved with someone who didn’t want the same things as she did. “Christopher? Am I scaring you off?”
His head twisted back towards her, his eyes a little wide. “No, not at all. I guess I’m just a little embarrassed by what I did. I didn’t mean to be so obvious. I hope you don’t think that’s all I want.”
Hazel let out a long breath of relief, squeezing his hand. “No, not at all. Come on, you can walk me home if you like.”
He held her hand for a moment, pressing a light kiss to the back of it. “I’d like that.”
Hazel smiled to herself as they walked back towards town together, her hand still in his. Something was right about this, something that felt like this could be the happiness she’d long been hoping for. As they walked, they talked together about all manner of things, from the ranch Christopher was working on, to the constant whining Hazel had to endure from Martha, simply because she wasn’t able to do all the things Hazel did. Christopher laughed at that, understanding exactly what Hazel was talking about since he had four younger brothers himself. There was a warmth in his eyes as he laughed, the slight squeeze of his hand on hers that made her smile. Hazel was truly happy.
“I suppose I’d best go now,” he mumbled, as they drew near to the town. “The ranch is this way.”
“And you’re not quite ready for anyone to see us,” Hazel finished, dropping his hand and looking up at him steadily. “There ain’t nothing shameful about courting, Christopher.”
“I’m not ashamed,” he replied at once, coming closer to her with something like desperation in his eyes. “I can’t explain it, but I’m just embarrassed, in a way. I’ve not felt like this before, and it’
s a little confusing.”
Hazel drew in a breath and tried to smile. “I know,” she said quietly, “but my mama already knows what’s going on between us. You won’t be able to hide it from people forever.”
He nodded, dropping his head. “Just a little bit more time,” he murmured, glancing up at her. “Just until my heart stops getting itself tangled all in knots. I want to be sure about this, Hazel. I’m not taking things lightly.”
Hazel nodded slowly, beginning to understand what he meant. “Sure, Christopher. I appreciate that. Truly. I guess I’ll see you around?”
“Tomorrow?”
He took her hand again, clearly worried that she was going to turn away from him without another word.
“Can you come by tomorrow? The same place?”
Her heart softened as he smiled at her, hopefully.
“Sure, tomorrow afternoon,” she murmured, her heart quickening just a little. “Down by the stream.”
Christopher smiled, clearly relieved as he brushed one finger down her cheek. “Thank you for understanding, Hazel. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I’m already looking forward to it,” Hazel whispered, wondering if he’d kiss her again, even though they were in full view of the town.
She was not disappointed. His lips touched hers for just a moment, sparking life into her veins.
“Tomorrow,” he whispered, lingering for just a moment longer before stepping away.
3
Over the next week, Hazel spent some time almost every afternoon in Christopher’s company. They would meet at the same stream and talk together, walking hand in hand through the wild brush grasses.
Of course, Christopher would always kiss her, and Hazel would always hold back, refusing to give in to her mounting passions. With one older sister married, Hazel knew some of what went on between a married couple, for her sister had been quite clear with Hazel so that she would know what some men would want from her. Hazel, not being afraid to speak about such things, had to remind Christopher on a few occasions that anything more was for after the wedding, and he would always flush and look away, telling her just how much he respected her but how he was struggling to control what he felt.
One afternoon, when their kisses had left them both breathless, Hazel looked up into Christopher’s eyes and felt her heart turn over on itself. It was a sensation she wasn’t expecting, something both wonderful and frightening in equal measure.
“Is something the matter?” Christopher asked, feeling her hands tighten on his shoulders. “I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s not you,” Hazel promised, interrupting him, her voice a little hoarse. “I guess I’m just realizing just how much I feel for you.” She held his gaze, refusing to be embarrassed by what she felt. “I know we haven’t exactly been courting properly and all, but you’re getting into my heart, Christopher.”
A slow smile spread across his face, bringing warmth to his eyes. “Really?” he murmured, putting one finger under her chin. “That’s just as well, Hazel, because I think I love you.”
Hazel blinked rapidly, a little surprised at his sudden revelation. Was what she felt love? What did love feel like? “Goodness,” she breathed, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I don’t really know what to say, Christopher.”
“Don’t you love me, too?”
“I—” She hesitated, the words sticking in her mouth. “I’m not sure. I don’t know what this feeling really is. I guess it could be love.” Seeing the slight frown on his face, Hazel smiled softly and tried to reassure him. “I ain’t never been in love before Christopher. It’s all a bit new to me.”
That seemed to reassure him, and he smiled broadly, patting her shoulder gently. “That sounds fair enough to me. Now, how abouts we start courting properly then?”
Hazel’s brows lifted in surprise. “You want other folks to know about us?”
He shrugged, as though it had never been much of a problem. “Sure, why not? I’m about ready for all that to happen, I reckon. What do you say to a picnic this Saturday?”
“A picnic?” Hazel repeated, her heart lifting with delight. “I’d love that, Christopher.”
His lips touched hers for just a moment. “Good,” he breathed, his lips brushing hers as he spoke. “I’ll come by after lunch, so long as you’re sure your mama and papa won’t mind.”
“They won’t mind in the least,” Hazel promised, her arms tightening a little around his neck as she kissed him back.
“Hazel? Is that you?”
Hazel smiled as her mother walked into the room, still thrilled with what had happened with Christopher.
“Dinner is already prepared,” she smiled, wrapping her arms around her mother. “I thought I’d get started on it early.”
“My, my,” her mother murmured, as Hazel hugged her tightly before moving back to the stove, humming to herself. “Well, something’s happened to you to make you this happy. Christopher, I take it?”
Hazel blushed but nodded. There was no sense in trying to hide things from her mother.
“Christopher is coming to take me out for a picnic on Saturday,” Hazel replied, twirling around the room for a moment. “Isn’t that wonderful?”
Much to her surprise, her mother only gave her a small smile. “Have you checked with your father?”
“With Papa?” Hazel repeated, frowning. “Why would I need to do that? He won’t care, will he?”
There was a short pause. “No, I suppose not,” her mother admitted softly, “but it would still be best to let him know what’s going on. He has a lot to deal with at the moment, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t let him know. He will want to know about this suitor of yours.”
Hazel smiled back, feeling a little uncertain as to what was happening with her parents. “Has he still not been able to find any work?”
“Some,” her mother replied, with a slight lift of her shoulders, “but nothing that’s going to keep us all going. I’ve taken in a bit of sewing and darning but that doesn’t add much.”
Hazel frowned, as her mother sat down at the table, hurrying to put the kettle on the stovetop so that she could make them both some tea.
“I know that you’ve been wondering what’s going to happen to us, Hazel, and I should let you know now that John and Sophie came round yesterday to talk to us about their very generous offer.”
Hazel sank down into a chair opposite and stared at her mother, her eyes wide. “To move out of town?”
“It’s only five miles away,” her mother replied, trying to sound practical although she couldn’t quite hide the pain in her eyes. “We have to think of what’s going to be best for us all. Your father and I have to make sure we’ve got enough to look after both you and Martha.”
Something began to swirl in Hazel’s stomach, making her face pale. “If I wasn’t here, would you be able to stay in town?”
Her mother’s eyes darted to hers, a shocked expression on her face. “Wasn’t here? Whatever do you mean, Hazel? Don’t you get any ideas of marrying that boy after you’ve only just started courting!”
Hearing the kettle begin to sing, Hazel got to her feet and began to make the tea, trying to calm her mother down. “No, Mama, but what if I was to marry. Would that make any difference?” Seeing her mother biting her lip, Hazel closed her eyes for a moment, realizing that she already had her answer.
“It doesn’t matter whether you’re here or not, Hazel,” her mother replied eventually. “We have mouths to feed and bodies to clothe. You don’t eat all that much!”
“But do you want to stay in town?” Hazel persisted, stirring a little milk into both of their mugs. “This can’t just be about Papa.”
Her mother laughed, much to Hazel’s surprise. “Oh, my dear,” she said and smiled, shaking her head at her daughter. “You have so much to learn about married life. Of course, this is mostly about your father. A man needs to work, and while I have my own duties, I don’t go out of the house every day in o
rder to earn. It’s slowly killing him not to have anything to do.”
“That’s because this town is too small to give everyone a job who needs it,” Hazel muttered, a slow flush burning her cheeks. “If only he hadn’t fallen off that horse.”
Her father had always been a hard worker, but the fall from his horse—who had spooked on seeing some wolves in the long, waving grasses of the fields—had severely injured his back. Now he couldn’t work the long hours in the fields that he once had. He had tried it more than once and had come home each time in a state of agony, practically bent double to try and relieve some of the pain.
Unable to work in the fields, he’d been forced to try and find something else, but the more he looked, the more difficult it seemed to become. The town was small enough already, and there weren’t exactly a lot of people that needed help.
“What about our house?” Hazel asked, drumming her fingers on the table. “We own this place, don’t we?”
Her mother nodded, a flash of relief on her face. “Yes, of course we do. But the truth is, Hazel, we’re going to need money to look after ourselves when we’re both too old and gray to work. We can’t just keep dipping into what we’ve saved.” She shook her head, an expression of frustration and sadness on her face. “That being said, I don’t want you thinking that you need to go off and find yourself a husband any time soon, just to get out from under our feet. We’ll manage just fine, somehow.”
Hazel swallowed, hard. She wanted to do something, anything, to help, but there wasn’t much she was able to do. Her happiness over Christopher’s plan for a picnic later on in the week slowly evaporated as she took her mother’s hand, sitting in silence for a long time.
“John and Sophie are very kind,” her mother said eventually, her voice hoarse with emotion. “The cabin is in good condition, and we could move in tomorrow if we wanted.”
