Jumping Feet First

by Melissa Stevens

  It didn’t take her long before Ally’s head popped up through the opening.

  “You’re turn.” She stepped off the ladder and turned toward the cot and laundry baskets containing her neatly folded clothes.

  “I’ll holler before I head back up, just to be safe.”

  “Thank you.” She didn’t turn back as he descended into the near darkness of the ground floor. He didn’t need a flashlight, but could see why she’d want to carry one just in case. The light spilling through the opening above cast just enough light for him to reach the corner and only because he’d been there before did he know where things were.

  James took his time, slowly making his way back to the ladder where he leaned against the bottom for a couple minutes, trying to give Ally enough time to do whatever she wanted to get done in private before he invaded her space again.

  As difficult as the waiting was for him, at least he was used to dealing with fires and their temperamental ways. She was trying to live her life, to save her way of life, he got that, even if he didn’t entirely approve of her refusal to leave when the evacuation had been ordered.

  After what he hoped had been long enough, he called up the ladder.

  “Is it safe?”

  “Come on up,” came the instant reply.

  When he got to the loft, he found she was already laying in her bed, waiting for him. All the lights turned off except one electric lantern beside her bed.

  “I’m not sure how well I’ll sleep tonight.” She watched him with wide eyes as he stepped onto the loft floor.

  “Why?”

  Her hair rustled, sliding across the pillow as she shook her head. “I’m worried about the fire. It’s so close. It could move in while we’re sleeping and we’d never know.”

  “You’ve done everything you can do. You’re as prepared as you can be. Worrying won’t do any good now.” He didn’t tell her that they’d know if the fire got close. A fire this size wasn’t quiet. It would wake them if it came close. James kicked off his shoes and stretched out on his makeshift bed. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as he’d feared and might actually be a little better than sleeping on the floor.

  “Ready to lose the light?”

  “Whenever you are.” She flicked off the lantern, plunging the room into total darkness.

  “Do you think we’ll survive?” Her voice trembled slightly.

  “I think we’ll be fine.” Honestly? He wasn’t as sure as he tried to sound, but telling her that wouldn’t help things. It wouldn’t help her sleep, and might even make her break down. The last thing he needed was a hysterical woman trying to get away from the fire, especially now that they were trapped.

  “I may have screwed up by staying.” Her voice was soft, as if she had a hard time admitting it out loud, even in the darkness. “But I didn’t know what else to do, I couldn’t leave them.”

  “It may have been, but it’s too late to worry about now. Now we deal with what we have and move on. There’s no point in looking back and stressing about things you can’t change anyway. All you can do is do better in the future.”

  “You really think so?”

  “That’s how I live my life. Was it wrong? Okay, maybe so, but I can’t change it now, all I can do is do better in the future.”

  Ally fell quiet and remained that way for a while. Long enough that James thought she’d fallen asleep, then after probably ten minutes, she whispered into the darkness, “Thank you.”

  James didn’t know if she’d waited so long, hoping he’d fallen asleep, or if she’d whispered in case he had but somehow, he felt like if he answered, she would be embarrassed so he remained quiet, despite the small smile he couldn’t keep back.

  Chapter 13

  A loud roaring penetrated Ally’s sleep hazed mind. What on earth was that sound? It couldn’t be an animal, as it was continuous and as loud as thunder striking in the meadow. The meadow. The fire. Slowly she remembered she was in the barn and why. Then she remembered she wasn’t alone, like she normally was.

  She threw the blankets back and sat up, swinging her legs off the side of the cot as she went. A sharp pain shot up from her foot up her leg. She’d forgotten the lamp she’d left on the floor and kicked it. Damn, that hurt. Ally fumbled a moment then found the lamp and turned it on before making her way around the opening in the floor to where she’d made a bed for James. Smoke was thick in the air, making her cough.

  “Are you awake?” She barely heard her own voice. How could he sleep through this? Desperate to know they weren’t about to die, she shook him. “James. Wake up!” His lashes fluttered, then his eyes opened.

  “It’s here.” He rolled off the makeshift bed and stood. He grabbed another lamp from where she’d set one next to his bed, in case he needed it during the night and headed to the end of the loft where they’d opened the vent.

  Terror gripped her chest as she watched him walk away, but she couldn’t follow. She couldn’t bear to see it if they flames were just outside. She struggled to draw a breath, only to end up coughing from the smoke.

  Before she’d finished coughing, James was back.

  “Come on, let’s go down the ladder,” he shouted and it seemed like even then he wasn’t sure she would hear, and pointed downward and shook his hand. Still trying to breath enough to talk, Ally didn’t bother to try to talk, nodding instead as she reached for the top of the ladder. She went down first. When she reached the bottom she looked up, wondering what was taking him so long but before she could try to shout and see if he was coming, he reappeared, and took the first step down.

  Unable to help herself she hugged him when he reached the bottom. Terror still coursed through her and she couldn’t help but be glad she didn’t have to do this alone. His arms wrapped around her and squeezed her briefly before letting go as he stepped back. She hated to lose the sense of safety that being wrapped in his arms had given her, even for a moment, but she let him go as well.

  She stood a moment wondering what to do next, that’s when she realized how much easier it was to breathe down here. Of course it was, smoke rises, everyone knew that, or at least they should. Ally shook her head and gave a short self-depreciating laugh.

  “What?” James asked with a frown.

  She told him what she’d been thinking, ending with “Now I feel like an idiot for setting up my bed up there,” she said as she went the nearest switch and tried to turn on a light. Nothing. They were without power. Her chest tightened and she couldn’t help but wonder if the generator had kicked on like it was supposed to. Something must have shown on her face.

  “What is it?” James asked.

  “I was just hoping the generator is working, because the power’s out.” She flipped the switch a couple more times so he could see.

  He blinked, then stared at her a moment. “It is. The sprinklers are still running. I remember feeling the mist from them when I checked the vent.”

  Relief washed through her. She had been praying that the wood was wet enough it wouldn’t catch even if the sprinklers were out, but if they were still running then that was even better.

  “I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me that it would get so smoky up there.” She shook her head.

  “I figured it would, but it was safe while it lasted. And even in a situation like this, a few comforts go a long way to making it bearable.”

  She took a deep breath and tried to accept that. Still, she had this niggling feeling she was forgetting something. She took a couple old blankets out and covered a couple bales of hay, so they could sit on them the way they were, but she suspected they might be here a while, and she might as well make them as comfortable as she could.

  “Do I want to know how close it is?” She finished covering the second bale and waved one hand for him to take a seat before she sat on her own, wishing while she did she had the nerve to just sit next to him and take the little bit of solace from having him so close, but she didn’t know how he’d react. He might not welcome
it, so she stayed where she was on her own seat.

  “It’s to the edge of the meadow and looked like it was burning its way around us, but didn’t appear to have crossed the meadow.” He paused a moment, watching her, as if he was trying to see how she was taking the news and if he should continue. She must have passed his inspection because he went on. “It doesn’t mean we’re out of danger, but it’s a good sign. You’ve been soaking this place every night for days and the water’s been on for hours this time. If an ember lands on the barn we should be safe. Should be, but there’s still no guarantee. The house though, that’s another story. It’s not been being soaked. Fires like this throw sparks and chunks quite a ways. A flaming chunk of stuff could land on the roof, and there’s nothing to stop it from burning the entire place down.”

  Ally nodded she knew it was a danger, had known it all along. “The house is insured. I’ll lose some things, but it can all be replaced. I’m hoping the copper roof will help keep it from catching, should anything land on it.”

  “It’s got a metal roof? I didn’t notice.” He gave her a lop-sided grin that made her want to slide over and get a little closer again. “I was too focused on finding you and getting you out, I guess.”

  “It does. It’s amusing in the winter sometimes when it warms up and the snow slides off then refreezes, but I’m hoping it might help protect it now.”

  “It will help, but I don’t know how much. If something hits the side, or lands on the porch, it will still burn.”

  “I know.” She didn’t know what to say. She was hoping it would survive, but if she survived this and the longer they lasted despite the deafening noise, the more she thought they might actually make it through this.

  They sat for a while without speaking, the sense of dread in her chest growing, making her chest tight and it hard to breathe at moments. Ally forced herself to take slow deep breaths and think about something else. When she wasn’t sure how much longer she could sit like this she laid down on the bale, wishing it was the only half way comfortable cot up in the loft. Never thought she’d be wishing for that, but here she was.

  “Here.”

  She opened her eyes to find James standing in front of her, the blanket that been covering his bale in one hand.

  “Sit up a second.”

  Ally did as he instructed, and he sat near the end where she’d been resting her head.

  “Lay your head here.” He patted his thigh.

  She hesitated just a moment, but she’d wished so hard to be closer, to feel the quiet support of another person, she didn’t refuse. She laid back down, holding herself stiff as she lay her head on his leg. He tossed the blanket he’d been holding over her.

  “Try to get a little rest. It’s going to be a long night.”

  “What about you?” She didn’t lift her head or turn to look at him, instead she stared into the near darkness across the barn where the animals were bedded down and didn’t seem to be bothered by the noise.

  “I’ll be fine. I’ll just tilt my head back here and rest too.”

  “That’s not going to be comfortable. You won’t get any rest.”

  “I’ve slept in worst places, in louder and in more uncomfortable spots. I’ll be okay.”

  “Are you sure?” She hated to make him more uncomfortable, even if it helped her.

  “I’m sure.” One of his hands came to rest on top of the blanket covering her upper arm.

  She didn’t know why, but that simple gesture, that simple touch went as far as anything else to make her feel more at ease. She closed her eyes and tried to think about something else, anything else. She didn’t know how long had passed, but eventually she fell asleep.

  Chapter 14

  James waited until her breathing had evened out and gone shallow, then reached over and turned off the lantern that had been casting a circle of light around them. She’d been brave, far braver than most of the men he’d met, when the fire woke them. He still wondered how it hadn’t woken him, but it didn’t matter now. All they could do was wait and see. From what he’d seen when he’d checked, he felt pretty good about their surviving, but like he’d told her, he wasn’t so sure about the house. Time would tell.

  He had to give her credit. She’d put on a brave face when he’d told her he thought the house would probably burn, but he’d seen the cracks and the fear shining through. But she’d held it together. After a while she’d laid down and she looked so sad, so lost, he couldn’t just let it go. Now that she was sleeping though, they didn’t need the light, he wasn’t as sure as he’d made himself sound that he’d get any sleep, but he’d try. There was nothing else they could do, he might as well rest.

  Movement woke him. James went from sleeping to awake and alert like flipping a switch. He hadn’t always been that way, but he’d learned to do it over years of working with wildfires. You often didn’t have time to take minutes to figure out what was going on. Sometimes you were lucky if you had seconds to do it.

  What woke him this time was Ally sitting up, her head leaving his thigh and the rustle of the blanket he’d thrown over her. Light leaked in around the big rolling doors, letting him know it was day light. He turned on the lamp giving them more light to move around by.

  “It’s gone.”

  “What?” James asked. The sound of the fire was gone, but she’d covered her face with her hands and he couldn’t be sure he’d heard what he thought.

  “The fire, it’s gone.” She headed for the tack room. He thought she was going to get feed for the animals, but when she turned for the door leading outside, he knew better.

  “Stop!” He hadn’t intended to yell, but he couldn’t let her open the door not yet, not until he knew it was safe. “I don’t know what’s out there yet. Let me go up and take a look.”

  “But the fire’s gone. We’d hear it if it wasn’t.”

  “Just because it’s gone doesn’t mean the danger’s past. There could be hot spots, animals who’ve run from the fire, any number of things out there.”

  Her sigh echoed across the room. “All right, go check.” She made her way back to where he sat. He stood and waited for her to sit back down before climbing the ladder.

  Smoke lingered in the air up here, thicker than down below. Instead of going to the vent, where he’d looked out and seen the fire during the night, he went to the rolling door on the other end of the big barn. After unhooking both latches he rolled it open a couple inches and looked out. A light cool breeze hit him in the face and he couldn’t resist the temptation to take a deep breath. The air wasn’t as clean and fresh smelling as he’d hoped, but it still felt good. He pushed the door open farther and stepped into the opening to take a good look around.

  The house still stood, though most of the trees surrounding the clearing were missing, and what still stood were blackened. Several had fallen into the meadow and now lay there like matchsticks used and tossed aside. A layer of ash covered the meadow, house and yard, but he was amazed that everything still stood. He left the door open and went back down to the main floor where Ally waited.

  “You can go out, but don’t get near anything burned yet. It’ll be hot.”

  “Can we let the animals out?”

  He looked at them a moment. “Into the pen but not loose, not yet. There’s a lot of debris and you don’t want them to get hurt before everything can be checked out.” He deliberately didn’t tell her the house had survived. He wanted a chance to see her face when she saw it herself.

  “No problem.” She headed for the door without bothering to look back.

  Chapter 15

  Ally couldn’t help the frustration that rose up when James stopped her from going out to check on things, but when he came back down from the loft and told her she could go out, but to be careful of what she touched, things would still be hot, she kind of understood it. She probably wouldn’t have thought about something being hot unless it was still smoking.

  Spending the last twenty-four hours, or
somewhere near it, trapped in this barn, knowing that things out side were burning and they had no way to escape the flames should the barn catch, had played hell on her nerves. Now that it had passed, she was eager to get out and see what was left.

  Her heart thundered in her chest as she unlocked the door and stepped out into the hazy sunshine. The first thing she noticed was the blackened and fallen trees edging the pasture. Her breath caught and for just a moment she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to make it start again. The tall pines that had once stretched as far as she could see, while not entirely missing, had thinned and changed. Her chest tightened and tears pooled in her eyes, threatening to fall as her heart broke at the devastation before her. If the forest around them looked like this, there was no way the house had survived.

  “You all right?” James came up behind her and laid a hand on her shoulder. The heat of his touch reminded her she had things to do. She couldn’t stand here all day, indulging her emotions.

  “I’m okay.” She sighed and continued around the barn. She needed to double check that the corral was closed and secured before she opened the door and let the animals out into it. She rounded the corner, trying not to think of what she’d lost in the house, instead focusing on what needed to be done next. One thing at a time she told herself, one step at a time was how she’d get through this.

  The ground squished beneath her feet and she watched where she was going, where she placed each foot, she’d hit slick spots before and ended up rolling in the mud, that was the last thing she wanted to do, especially with James there to see her and no way to take a bath or wash her clothes, at least not easily. How long would it take for the insurance to issue a check so she could start to replace the house? Maybe it would be better to bring a manufactured home in, instead of having the house rebuilt? It would certainly be faster, but she would miss the charm, the style of the old ranch house. She walked nearly the entire perimeter of the corral attached to the barn, making sure none of the zip ties she’d used to put the temporary pen together had broken or been melted by debris from the fire. She had to check it nearly every day, even without the fire, as goats were prone to eat almost anything. Not checking the fence was a mistake she’d only made once. Four hours of gathering up the animals who’d decided it was a game, was enough for her. It wasn’t until she reached the next to last panel and looked up from where she was carefully placing her feet to make sure she didn’t slip that what she was seeing registered with her tired and emotion exhausted brain.