Big Girl Pill

by K D Williamson

“I was shit-faced, Maya.”

  “And you’ll be that way again. Let loose a little. I know you need to, and I also dare you.” Maya raised a brow and a smirk came with it.

  She was right. Nina had been pent up for way too long. “Fine. You’re on, but whatever happens, it better not end up on your Facebook.”

  “Mmm, good girl.” Maya stared at her. This time her smile was slow and wide. And just like that, the air between them heated again.

  “You ladies want something?”

  They both turned toward the bartender. “Kamikaze shots,” Nina answered.

  He glanced at Maya. “Sounds good to me, too.”

  “Let’s start with six,” Nina said.

  The bartender nodded.

  After her third one, Nina had already executed a dangerous invasion into Maya’s personal space. She slid her arms around Maya’s neck. “Am I loose enough yet?” The ache she felt earlier had dulled. The world seemed filled with nothing but Maya.

  “I’d say you’re getting there.”

  Nina held up four fingers. In the background, someone was on stage butchering “Wonderwall.” Maya signaled the bartender.

  “Remember the first time you got me drunk?” Nina asked.

  Maya cut her gaze toward Nina and chuckled. “You peed in my car. Right there on the passenger seat.”

  “It was your fault. You should have taken me seriously. Who jokes about having to pee? Besides, it was only, like, a tablespoon.” She brought her thumb and forefinger together about an inch apart

  “More like a whole fucking pint.” Maya held her hands up and they were at least a foot apart.

  They both laughed.

  “I thought I was gonna have to set the whole car on fire,” Maya said.

  “Odoban,” they said simultaneously, and dissolved into chuckles again.

  “Thank God that works on just about anything,” Nina said after she stopped laughing. She put her elbow on the bar and bumped into the drinks the bartender had left for them. She held up a finger to forestall any more conversation as she slammed back her fourth shot. She set it down and promptly reached for the other. “And how about that time you got us kicked out of McDonald’s?”

  “It was Hardee’s,” Maya corrected. “And we didn’t get kicked out. We were banned until they got a new manager.”

  “God, I was so mad at you. I loved those Frisco burgers.” She finished her last drink, then grabbed one of Maya’s. “Pink.”

  Maya stared at the shot glass in Nina’s hand. “What the hell are you talking about? It’s not pink. It’s clear.”

  Nina snorted and nearly pitched forward. She grabbed onto the bar just in time. “Not the drink. The s-singer. I’m gonna do one of her songs.”

  “Oh, she’s kinda hot.”

  “Yeah, she is.” Nina clinked her shot glass against Maya’s in agreement. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed. She also wasn’t one hundred percent sure how she got on stage after she made her request with the DJ. She was a little past tipsy. There still weren’t a whole lot of people present, but more than when they’d first arrived. She looked out at the crowd of strangers. Some of them stared back and others didn’t seem to give a damn. Two very familiar people pushed their way toward the front.

  “Woo!” Rachel waved her arms in the air. “You gonna sing or stare at us all night?” Rachel asked loudly.

  Maya nudged Rachel before looking back at Nina and shaking her head. Nina smiled and shot her cousin the finger. The moment was perfect. At least it felt that way. She nodded toward the guy near the karaoke machine. The music began again. A handful of people started to clap. Nina ripped the mic from the stand and sang the words to “Raise Your Glass” as they appeared on the screen. She sounded like a screeching rhinoceros, but opposite from the disgust Nina had seen in her mother’s eyes, Maya looked at her as though she were the best thing to ever grace the stage and, really, nothing else mattered.

  Chapter 17

  Nina flopped over and squinted at the clock on her nightstand. The red numbers stared right back. She had thirty minutes before her alarm went off. Why was she awake? That’s when the smell of coffee and bacon registered. She groaned and sat up. She was almost ready to get out of bed when her bedroom door opened abruptly.

  Rachel walked in slowly, carrying a tray that Nina hadn’t realized she owned. Two huge cups of coffee were visible, along with a plate piled high with eggs, slices of bacon, and toast. Upon closer inspection, it wasn’t a tray at all but a cookie sheet. “Did I do something incredible last night?” Nina yawned.

  “No, it’s Thursday.” Rachel smiled but it was soft and a little sad.

  “Oh, yeah.” Nina’s stomach sank. “I should’ve taken the day off so we could—”

  “I’m a couple hours away. It’s not like I’m disappearing.” She set the cookie sheet on top of Nina’s dresser and picked up the coffee mugs.

  Nina accepted hers gladly. “Why does it feel like you are?”

  Rachel went back for the plate. “I don’t know. You tell me.” She eased into bed beside Nina, but then got back up a second later for the cookie sheet.

  “Because it was nice living with my own personal cheerleader.” Nina fluffed a pillow for Rachel as she sat back down on the bed.

  “That’s somehow sweet and offensive at the same time. I’d be more likely to smack a cheerleader.”

  Nina chuckled. “I know. Therein lies the irony.”

  Rachel got comfortable and nibbled a piece of toast. “You were your own cheerleader. I was just sitting in the audience clapping and telling you to kick some ass.” She paused and tilted her head slightly. “Oh.”

  “I’m glad you see my point.” Nina smiled and grabbed a piece of toast, added bacon and eggs to it, and folded it in half. “God, I’m so glad you don’t put paprika on eggs.”

  “Sacrilege.”

  Nina hummed in delight as she took the first bite of her breakfast. For a few minutes, they ate quietly.

  “I’m proud of you. I don’t know if I’ve expressed that enough,” Rachel said as she brought the coffee mug to her lips.

  “Thanks, but I should’ve confronted her years ago.”

  “You mean, when I came out?”

  She nodded. “You were a kid.”

  “I know, but—”

  “No buts. We had this discussion already after my mom died.”

  Nina shifted closer to Rachel and leaned against her. “All that time we lost.”

  “I don’t think about it that way. Plus, these past few weeks we really set some shit on fire.”

  “More like exploded it.”

  Rachel laughed. “Yeah, really.” She was quiet for a moment. “I’m glad I got to be a part of all this. Getting to see the real you, out from under your mom’s thumb. For a long time, I was scared for you. I mean, I saw glimpses here and there of potential, but it didn’t seem like enough.”

  “I guess I grew up.”

  “Yeah, you did. And thank you, by the way. I’ve been thinking about what you told me about your confrontation with your mom. You didn’t have to include me in it.”

  “You’re family. As far as I’m concerned, you’re my sister.”

  She lowered her gaze. “I can’t remember anybody ever defending me.”

  “Well, I will, even if you don’t want me to.” She gave her a side hug.

  “Thanks, I think.” Rachel’s voice shook. “Ugh, it’s too early in the morning for this.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  Rachel sniffed and then snorted. “I’m sorry for fucking Maya.” She waited. With Rachel, there was always more.

  “Kind of.”

  “Mmm.” Nina tried to clamp down on the sudden lurch of jealousy but decided against it. “I’d be lying if I told you it doesn’t bother me a bit, but I’ll get past it.” Knowing that it was two years ago helped.

  “I won’t do it again. I promise.”

  “I’m not worried about that.”

  “Now I’m r
eally offended.” Rachel’s tone had reverted back to her usual sarcastic snark.

  Nina smiled. “She said I was better.”

  Rachel gasped, but the amusement in her gaze couldn’t be missed. “Nice comeback. Maybe I really am a bad influence on you.”

  “The worst.”

  “Glad to help. And listen, don’t fuck things up with Maya. Don’t just sit and wait for things to happen to you like you did before. Go after what you want, including her.”

  “I know. I can’t be that person I was anymore. I don’t care about moving too fast or too slow. I just want to move.”

  “Okay, good.”

  A sudden realization hit. “Today’s Thursday. In a few more days, it’ll be Sunday. I’ll be alone.” She let the knowledge seep into her and another epiphany came right after. Yes, she’d be alone, but she wouldn’t be lonely.

  “Sort of, but you’ll be—”

  “I know.” Nina would be fine, and knowing that made all the difference.

  **

  Nina’s classroom was empty and quiet. Planning period was always a time to be savored, but she was finding that hard. With her plastic fork, she stabbed at a piece of limp, soggy lettuce. She glared down into her salad and groaned. Nina had promised herself she’d at least try to eat something healthy—even if it was salad— before she dug into the rather large chocolate chip muffin. She dropped the fork into the plastic container and decided dessert was always better when eaten first.

  She was also enjoying her own company. There was no point in trying to integrate or mingle post-Drew. She just didn’t have it in her to be fake anymore. It was still weird how most people stared and, even though it felt like a million eyes burning a hole in her back, she had learned to ignore them. As far as she was concerned, while at school, she was an island unto herself.

  Rachel would be proud of her and she missed her. Someone tapped on her classroom door. She glanced up and stood, muffin forgotten, as she looked back at Maya. “Hey! What are you doing here?” she asked as she opened the door.

  Maya held up a big brown bag and then mouthed, “Hold on.” She shot Nina a grin and handed her the bag, then pointed to the phone at her ear. “No,” she was saying to whoever was on the other end. “I need more than a few hours to prepare. I don’t do impromptu. You know that.” She paused. “Yeah, thanks for thinking of me, though. I appreciate it.” A second later, she stuffed her cell back into the pocket of her khakis. “Okay, sorry.” She gestured at the bag. “Universal Joint. I don’t have a lot of time. My last contract job for this area is today.”

  “Okay,” Nina paused. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but did we have plans?”

  After grabbing the only other adult-sized chair in the room, Maya pulled it toward Nina’s desk. “No, but it’s Thursday. I didn’t want you to be in this place without seeing a friendly face. Rachel’s been taking care of that, but now that she’s gone, here I am.” She opened the bag as she sat down. In the clear containers was pimento cheese, hummus, and a host of vegetables, as well as one order of cheese fries.

  Despite being touched by the gesture, she didn’t want Maya to think that she needed a constant protector. “You didn’t have to do this.”

  Maya met her gaze. “I know that, but I wanted to. This place and these people haven’t been good to you. While I’m here, I want to make that better.”

  A wondrous ball of emotions settled in her chest and exploded, filling her with its brightness. She had almost settled for a completely different life and would have never felt this. “You’re just…incredible.”

  “Sure. Okay,” Maya said. “Glad you think so.”

  Nina stood over her and inched between Maya’s thighs. She touched the back of Maya’s head, making her look up. Slowly, Nina ran her finger down the side of her face. When she got to Maya’s cheek, she took a detour to her full lips and traced them as well, and the look in Maya’s eyes only enhanced everything she was feeling.

  Maya released a shaky breath. “Someone could see us.”

  “I know.” It took a concerted effort to step away. A few seconds later, she sat down and her rolling desk chair creaked in acknowledgment. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

  “It was my idea, but Rachel threatened to jump up and punch me in the throat the next time she saw me if I didn’t follow through.” She picked up a fry.

  “You’re making that up.”

  “Maybe, but doesn’t that sound like something she would say?”

  “And look completely refined while doing it.”

  “Very true.” She ate the fry then dipped a vegetable into the hummus.

  “Did you really talk to her?”

  “Yeah. She told me not to fuck things up.”

  “That’s what she told me, too.” She opened one of the containers. “I miss her.”

  “I think I might, too, but don’t tell her I said that.” Maya pointed her fry at her.

  “No promises.”

  “Fine. Have a fry.” She handed it to her and Nina took it, enjoying the warmth between them and wanting more of it. She might not be used to being around someone who appreciated her the way she was, but damn, she was ready for it and every day would turn the things Drew and her mother had said into nothing more than an echo.

  **

  When Maya opened the basement door, the sound of gunfire greeted her. T glanced at her as she came down the stairs. He wasn’t smoking and there was no residual smell to indicate that he’d done so earlier. It was a relief that he was taking his situation and his prospects more seriously. She sat down beside him and T shifted over slightly.

  Maya looked at the screen, then back at her brother. He wasn’t wearing a headset. “You’re playing alone?”

  “For right now, yeah. I don’t like doing random teams on Fortnite.” T nudged her with his arm. “What’s up?”

  “Nina’s coming over later.”

  “Okay.” He dragged the word out. “So, I should sleep down here tonight?”

  “No. I just want you to make nice.”

  “I’ve been making nice.”

  “Nicer, then.”

  “Okay. Damn. You don’t have to yell. I’ll work on it.”

  “I wasn’t yelling.”

  T glared at her. “You practically screamed at me about being nice.”

  “I only said that because you assumed she was coming over here for sex.”

  “Well, it makes sense to me. You’re dating.”

  “We haven’t really gone on a date yet.” Maya corrected him. She didn’t want to just steamroll over Nina with her feelings and what she wanted, not after everything that had happened to her.

  “Whatever. Every time you two are around each other, it’s a date.”

  “That makes no sense.”

  “Yeah, it does. You already know each other, so whatever you guys do when you’re together just adds to that.”

  He was right, and it was certainly something she needed to let marinate.

  T finally glanced back at her. “What?”

  “How do you know so much about relationships? You haven’t brought anybody home since you were a junior in college.”

  He shrugged. “That’s a choice. I’m concentrating on getting my career down. Doesn’t mean I don’t get around.” He paused. “So, just to let you know, I wanna go back to visit Chicago in a couple weeks. If you’re not free, one of my boys can go with me.”

  “I’ll make the time.” She gave him an affectionate light smack on his shoulder. “You’re really gonna do this, huh?”

  “I’m gonna try. Winston’s already told me he wasn’t paying for me to live in some piece of shit apartment. So, when we go, we’ll check out some of the better areas.” He paused. “I like that he’s trying to be around more.”

  “Yeah, me, too.”

  “You tell Nina about your going-away dinner Saturday night?”

  “I will tonight. Not like I’ve been holding onto the info for days. He just texted us a few hours
ago.”

  “There you go yelling again.”

  “I’m not yelling. Are you high?”

  T grinned. “No, actually.”

  “Good.” She eased back into the couch cushions and watched him play the video game. A prickly feeling inched its way down her spine. Her life was firing on all cylinders. She was in the process of getting the woman she wanted, and her relationship with her brothers was stronger than it had been in years. Things were damn near perfect and it spooked the fuck out of her. If a shoe dropped, it could really hurt somebody. Like her. She stayed a while longer and tried to shake the feeling loose, but couldn’t.

  Leaving T to his game, she went to get some more things organized and check her schedule for next week. A couple hours later, the doorbell rang.

  Nina. She went to let her in.

  “Hey,” she said as she opened the door. “Jesus, did you buy everything in the store?” she asked, seeing Nina loaded down with grocery bags. She grabbed a bunch.

  “No, smart-ass. I couldn’t decide so I just let loose a little,” Nina said behind her. “Watch your hand.”

  “It’s been a week. It’s fine and, no, you let loose way more than a little.” She put the bags on the kitchen counter, admiring Nina in jeans and a simple white button-down shirt. She looked softer, somehow, and she liked that, too.

  Nina set the rest of the bags on the counter. “Okay, maybe I went a little overboard. I figured we’d pretty much have the house to ourselves, and I wanted to fix you dinner. Plus, this kitchen is way, way better than mine.”

  “We’re not totally alone. T’s around but doing his own thing. Winston, however, is at Chloe’s. So, what are we having?” Maya rubbed her hands together.

  “Whatever you want. Chicken, steak, pork, or fish.”

  Maya snorted. “You could have just called, but I like the way you think.”

  “Good.” Nina walked around the island and came closer until there was barely any space between them. It felt natural to wrap her arms around her, so Maya did.

  “Hey,” Nina whispered, and smiled slowly. Her gaze was intense, steady. In it, Maya saw affection and need, and she hoped like hell she wasn’t misinterpreting because there was promise there as well.

  “Hey,” Maya said back. She brushed Nina’s lips with her own and it resulted in a breathy whimper from Nina. She liked that such a small act could create such a response. A tingle raced over her skin and down her back. Nina nipped at her bottom lip and eased back slightly, ending the kiss. Maya didn’t chase her. She was busy trying to catch her breath instead.