Big Girl Pill

by K D Williamson

  “Oh. Oops.”

  Maya smirked at her.

  “Yeah. Oh,” Rachel snarked.

  “Is everything okay?” Nina asked as she slipped her hand underneath Maya’s T-shirt and trailed her fingertips down her back. Maya shivered. She peeled back the covers and got into bed.

  “Yes, actually. And knowing the two of you have tightened things up a bit is probably the best fucking news I’ll hear all day. I’ll let you go, because morning sex is the best sex.”

  Maya snorted. Sex any time of the day with Nina was the best. “Later, Rachel.”

  “Bye,” Rachel said. “Have fun, ladies.” She hung up.

  “Your eggs are probably cold,” Maya mumbled as she brushed her lips against Nina’s.

  “Don’t care.” Nina returned the kiss.

  Maya pulled away and looked down at her.

  Nina bit her lip and she smiled. “God, I love the way you look at me.”

  “And how is that?”

  “Like a kid on Christmas morning.”

  Well, that wasn’t what she expected. “Okay. I’ll take it.”

  “I thought you would,” she said, amusement in her gaze.

  “Mmm, I like the way you look right now, too.” Maya paused. “But I need to know. Are you done running?”

  She smiled and caressed her cheek. “I am.”

  “Good. Very good.” Maya kissed Nina just below her ear. “What time do you need to leave?”

  Nina moaned softly. “Um, probably by six fifteen. I need to stop at home to get clean clothes.”

  “Do you think your students are gonna care that you have on the same outfit?” She blazed a trail with her open mouth between Nina’s breasts.

  Nina arched her back. “No.”

  “Do you give a shit if the other teachers notice?” She cupped Nina’s breasts.

  “Mmm, no.”

  “Good.” Maya curled her tongue around one of Nina’s nipples, deciding that morning sex was definitely in order.

  **

  “Is this how you do it, Ms. Sterling?” Charlie pointed at his paper. She kneeled beside his chair and took the worksheet.

  “Yes, it is. Excellent.” She loved it when a student finally figured things out. She gave him a fist bump. This was why she’d gone into teaching, to help students learn and to see the sense of accomplishment in their eyes. It was a different kind of high, and it added to the one she’d already been feeling, thanks to Maya.

  She stood and scanned the rest of her students to make sure nobody else needed anything, then she went back to her desk and tried to focus on grading some papers, but her thoughts kept going back to Maya. While she wouldn’t categorize what had happened the night before as a religious experience, it had definitely put some pieces in place for her. Now more than ever she was sure about pursuing a relationship with Maya, and she was sure she didn’t need her mother’s negativity. And she was sure that regardless of how adept she was at teaching the fourth grade, she had settled for it long enough. She’d been toying with this decision, and now it was time to be serious about it.

  These days were about living her life the way she saw fit, and working at Franklin Delaney certainly wasn’t it. She had never been comfortable here, or accepted, and now things were even worse. There was no reason to put it off. This would be her last year here.

  Allie cleared her throat and Nina looked up at her. No surprise. Her hand was up. Nina grinned. “Yes, sweetie?”

  Allie frowned. “My mother says sweetie is a misogynistic term and when a woman isn’t called by her name she’s being belittled.”

  The other students stared blankly at her, probably because they didn’t understand what the hell she was talking about, but here they were and a ten-year-old had just schooled her on feminist theory.

  “I apologize. Your mother is right. What can I help you with, Allie?”

  She beamed. “Could you check my work? I’m not sure about number three.” Her worksheet was more than likely perfect, but Allie required a certain amount of attention daily and Nina tried to give it to her.

  “Sure.” She got up and, yes, the worksheet was fine, but this was part of her job. She went around and checked on everyone else, then moved on to the next lesson, which she finished just as it was time for this class to end and the next to begin. But her mood was great, and school was almost out for the summer. She’d taken the next step in her life. That was enough to help get her through the next couple of classes to her planning period, when she was able to group text Maya and Rachel.

  In about 10 min I’m going to the principal’s office.

  Rachel was the first to reply. Y? Is she hot?

  Nina chuckled as she typed. She’s a he and no, he really isn’t.

  Ur letting him kno ur not coming back next year? Maya texted.

  Nina’s breath caught. There was safety in being known so well. Definitely something she could get used to. So, this was what falling for someone felt like. She stared at her phone.

  Interesting. I can feel the chemistry between u 2 even thru text, Rachel wrote.

  Nina laughed out loud but she could feel it, too.

  Shut up Rachel, Maya texted. She added a black hand giving the finger and a black woman with her arms crossed in front of her face.

  Not sure y ur telling me fuck you and Wakanda Forever in the same sentence.

  Nina laughed harder.

  U need help. Maya included a couple of crying-laughing emojis.

  R u talking about me or ur gf?

  U def u.

  Maybe. But congrats Nina ur making the right choice.

  Nina thought so, too. Thanks.

  Ugh I gotta go. Walking into a mtg. Call u later, Rachel texted.

  Ok.

  Later, Maya texted back.

  After Nina set her phone down, it vibrated and Maya’s name flashed across the caller ID. She grinned. “You didn’t have to call.”

  “I know,” Maya said. “But I’m so proud of you.”

  Oh, God, her heart. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. But it’s true.”

  Warmth flowed through her, and she wanted nothing more than to latch onto it and hold it with both hands. “Come over tonight. Maybe bring some of the groceries I left at your house. We can put them to good use.”

  “Is dinner all you wanna do?”

  “No. It’s not. But you probably knew that,” she said, teasing.

  “I’d come over regardless. What time?”

  “I have bus duty and a staff meeting, but I should be home by five thirty, maybe closer to six.”

  “Okay. Sounds good. See you later. Bye.”

  “Bye.” Nina ended the call. She was definitely going to be living in the clouds today. Nothing could bring her down. Absolutely nothing. She took that attitude to the principal. The entire discussion with him took about fifteen minutes and she left feeling even better. She used the rest of her planning period to get organized, though she knew the news about her leaving would be around the school probably before the end of the day and come up in the meeting. Whatever. She made it through the rest of the day with her good mood intact.

  During the staff meeting, she sat alone off to the side in the library and checked her email as other teachers, including Drew, joined their prospective cliques at the other tables. Steve, the principal, was the last to arrive, and though he wasn’t a big man, he had presence and a booming voice. His habitual scowl could change any minute to a smile, depending on who he was talking to and the circumstances.

  “Thanks for being on time, everyone,” he said. “I want to get the announcements out of the way first today so the teachers’ committee can get a head start on flexing those imaginations.”

  A few people laughed.

  Nina set down her phone and listened, though she knew some of what he was about to say.

  “So, as some of you know, Mrs. Barbier has been with us thirty-five years.”

  A majority of the teachers clapped, and Nina did, t
oo. “I know,” Steve said. “Such a brave woman.” His statement got some chuckles.

  “She came to me earlier this week to inform me that she’s retiring, so she won’t be returning next year.”

  That got some more applause and more personal statements from people near her. The people at her table patted her on the back.

  “We’ll miss her. Thank you for all your hard work. I’m sure the teachers’ committee will prepare a proper send-off.” Steve paused. “We’re also losing another one. She hasn’t been here nearly as long, and her absence next year will be felt. Nina Sterling has chosen not to come back in the fall.”

  No one said anything, but she hadn’t expected them to. Some teachers sent forced smiles her way. She glanced at Drew, and he was staring wide-eyed at her, shocked. She gave him a nod and focused again on Steve, who continued with the announcements, then started the meeting.

  Nobody paid any attention to her, and for that, she was glad. She was pretty much done with this place.

  The meeting ended almost an hour later, and Drew approached her table, which didn’t surprise her. “Can I walk you to your car?” he asked. “I was hoping we could talk for a minute.”

  She gauged his body language, and decided he was being sincere. “Okay.” She stood and went with him out of the library, mildly surprised that he didn’t seem to pay attention to the people watching them as they left. She readjusted her bag on her shoulder as they walked out into the hallway.

  He reached for it and Nina stepped away in reaction. “I’ve got it.”

  He looked away but didn’t say anything and she was relieved when they got outside, because the sun, clear sky, and distant mountains made her feel less trapped. God, she really disliked this school.

  “I always thought this school was a good fit for you,” Drew said.

  “It’s not. It never was.” She walked toward her car, ignoring the few observers out here, too.

  He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Yeah, I can imagine you feel that way right now. The news about our breakup got around the school fast.”

  “Gee, I wonder how that could have happened?” she said, trying not to be sarcastic but failing.

  From his expression, he looked like he had eaten a lemon, but it passed. “There are a lot of stories circulating. Most of them make you the bad guy. I’m not sure how that happened, but I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to talk to people and smooth things over. I’m sure if you give it the summer, it’ll be yesterday’s news.”

  She stopped near her car. “This school and these people were never a good fit, Drew. And I think you know that.”

  He stared down at his shoes.

  “You’re the big man on campus, and that’s why rumors are flying. That’s why I’m the bad guy. But I do appreciate that you tried to help.”

  He walked with her the rest of the way to her car, his lanky body hunched over like he’d been weighed down by a defeat. She felt sorry for him and also a little sad. She had never meant to hurt him.

  “I need a change in venue. It’s nothing against you,” she said.

  He sighed. “You’re not the Nina I knew—the woman I was going to marry this weekend. I still don’t understand what happened and how fast it happened. I’m not sure you really know, either.”

  She smiled, sympathetic. “The truth is, I was never the Nina you thought you knew. That was me playing pretend because I needed to at the time. And I’m sorry for making you think otherwise.” She leaned against the driver’s side door of her car.

  He looked like he wanted to say something else but didn’t.

  Nina glanced at his watch. “What time is it? My phone is in my bag.”

  “Quarter to six.”

  “I have to go.” She opened the door. “Take care of yourself.”

  He nodded. “You, too. I guess I’ll see you around.” She gave him a tight smile and got in her car.

  **

  Nina ground pepper over the pot until the sauce was dotted with black. The sound of a chair scraping across the floor made her glance up. Maya stood and pushed the chair back under the dining table before walking toward her. Nina raised a brow and Maya grinned.

  “What? Just making sure there’s some sauce to go with my pepper.” She took a swig of the beer Nina had given her.

  “I didn’t put that much.” Nina rolled her eyes.

  “Uh-huh. Plus, I didn’t wanna be way over there while we finish our conversation.”

  “I didn’t think there was anything else to say about it. I’m fine and Drew will get over it.” Her words sounded sort of cold, but she was being realistic.

  “I know you’re gonna be okay. I just hate that you have to go through all this bullshit to get there.”

  “I wish I could make a clean break from it all, like yesterday.”

  “Wouldn’t that be convenient?” She hoisted herself on top of the counter on the other side of the stove, away from the cooking food.

  “It would be perfect.”

  “Yeah, I can imagine.” Maya took a long sip of her beer, then studied the bottle. “Farmhouse Red Ale. Never heard of it.”

  “Drew brought it over.”

  “Say what you want about him, but he has great taste in beer and women.” She flashed her a grin.

  “It’s really good, and it has pepper in it. Might be right up your alley.”

  “Wait, seriously? Pepper?” She looked up, even as she continued to stir the garlic-butter sauce.

  “Yeah, white pepper.”

  Nina switched off the burner to keep the sauce from burning and moved toward her. The night called for wine, in her opinion, or even Champagne, to mark their continual move forward, but that might have been conventional, and they had never been any of those things. She paused, thinking that this moment was much bigger than the both of them, and she studied Maya in her khaki shorts and embroidered white tee. She held Nina’s gaze, her soft brown eyes filled with amusement and warmth. Maya looked good sitting on her counter. She didn’t blend in, but she didn’t stick out, either.

  She fit.

  She fit unlike anything else had over the past couple of years and that needed to be celebrated and savored. She put her hands on Maya’s thighs and stepped between them. The warmth that had been in Maya’s eyes a few seconds ago transitioned into heat. Maya brought the beer to Nina’s lips, and Nina tilted her head back as she took a sip. Maya was right. This beer had a unique combination of sweet, spicy, and tart. But right now, she wanted a drink of Maya, who was looking at her like she wanted to swallow her whole.

  Tomorrow would have been Nina’s wedding. However, what she had felt for Drew was a fast-drying puddle compared to the vast ocean that was Maya. Her breathing hitched as she realized that those emotions could continue to grow. Where was she going to put it all? Did Maya have any idea how she felt? Words seemed so inadequate. Instead, Nina leaned in and kissed her.

  Maya moaned softly and Nina took the sound and claimed it as hers. Their tongues brushed, but it wasn’t enough. She needed her closer. She tangled a hand in Maya’s hair and kissed her with two years of pent-up regret, need, and revelation. Maya made a raw, desperate sound that tunneled through Nina to the pit of her stomach, where it fed a sudden and stunning arousal. Lightning seemed to rake over her skin, electrifying it and sending pulses between her legs. An urgency filled her, a culmination of everything she’d lost and found. Did Maya feel it?

  She had to. Nina needed her to.

  She tugged at Maya’s clothes, more concerned with sensation than analytics about whether this was a good idea. With great reluctance, she pulled back. Maya’s lips were wet and swollen and her breathing ragged.

  “Jee-zus,” Maya stuttered, the need in her gaze everything Nina wanted. She ran her hand down Maya’s chest, over her nipples, their outlines prominent underneath her shirt. Nina nuzzled the closest one with her lips.

  Maya whimpered, and wrapped a hand in Nina’s hair, anchoring her, and Maya’s nipple stiffened even more with
every touch, until Nina had no choice but to suck it inside, regardless of the clothing trapping it. Maya’s whimper became a throaty exclamation of pleasure, which only encouraged Nina to suck harder.

  Instead of teasing Maya’s other breast, she yanked at Maya’s belt and managed to undo it, and she fumbled as she worked to release the button and zipper on her shorts.

  Maya moved against her. “Fuck, hurry.”

  So, Maya did feel it as well, the acute shift in the level of need.

  Working together, they wrenched Maya’s shorts open and Nina didn’t waste any time. She pulled Maya’s shorts and underwear down, but her shoes got in the way and Nina tugged hard enough to send one flying. Maya’s clothing dangled from one foot, which was just fine, since she could now access exactly what she wanted.

  She crushed their lips together in a kiss that was deeper and harder than the last. Their mouths clung together and they breathed each other in.

  Nina knew what to expect between Maya’s legs—scorching heat and a level of wetness that had intimidated her the first time and that she wallowed in the next. She cupped Maya, but she wasn’t there to tease. She positioned her fingertips against Maya’s clit and rubbed in tight circles.

  Maya groaned into Nina’s mouth and locked her legs around her. She slipped through Maya’s wetness, relishing the molten feel of her on her fingertips before plunging inside. Nina gasped softly, but the sounds that Maya made were louder and unrefined.

  She was surrounded by Maya, drowning in her, and Nina wanted to go deeper. Each thrust was overwhelming, and after every retraction, she sank back in with increasing fierceness. Maya writhed against her, mashed her face into Nina’s neck, and bit into the sensitive skin below Nina’s ear, creating a tidal wave of sensation. Maya’s hips bucked and she bit Nina’s shoulder, hard. Nina shuddered and cried out just as Maya clenched around her fingers and sobbed brokenly. She couldn’t seem to stop shaking, and for that matter, neither could Nina. Seconds—maybe minutes—later, Nina withdrew her fingers despite the slick heat still around them.

  Maya exhaled shakily and clung to her. “Not that I’m complaining because, wow, but what the fuck was that?”

  “That was…everything.”