Redemption In Red Desert: A Clean Western Historical Romance Novel

by Ember Pierce

  * * *

  Panic wasn’t a feeling that he was used to having. It made him feel weak, and he hated that. How was he going to make enough money to pay back Graves?

  * * *

  And what would Graves do to him if he didn’t get the money? A shudder raced through Kristian.

  * * *

  After Graves entered the saloon, Kristian stood still for a long time before his feet started moving again. He hurried past the saloon and on down the street toward Otto’s office.

  * * *

  His feelings were getting more complicated by the day, and he hadn’t the faintest clue how to unravel them. He had a good thing going, numbing himself with gambling and alcohol, but he knew that didn’t actually help.

  * * *

  Maybe Otto would know what he should do. He’d spouted a lot of highfalutin’ mumbo-jumbo last time they had met together.

  * * *

  By the time Kristian got to Otto’s office, he was thrilled that he had actually made it. With each step he took, he had worried that Graves was stalking after him.

  * * *

  A few furtive glances over his shoulder told him that he was thankfully wrong, but that didn’t stop him from quickening his pace until he reached Otto’s office.

  * * *

  “Kristian, hello,” Otto greeted him.

  * * *

  Kristian glanced around. “Do you have a minute?”

  * * *

  Otto’s smile faded a little, but he looked at his friend attentively. “Let me bring my shingle in.”

  * * *

  Once Otto was seated again, he asked, “So, what do you need to talk about today?”

  * * *

  “I got a job at the livery helping Duke out,” Kristian said. That seemed like a good, solid place to start.

  * * *

  Something positive. Something good. That was how John liked to start out any conversation.

  * * *

  “Congratulations,” Otto said. “That will certainly help out with your… situation.”

  * * *

  “It’s also part of my problem,” Kristian said. He groaned and slumped down in his chair.

  * * *

  “How so?” Otto asked.

  * * *

  Kristian regarded his friend as he tried to figure out how to explain how complicated his life had gotten while he wasn’t paying attention. The jumble of feelings sitting heavy in his chest needed to be untangled, but he wasn’t that sort of person.

  * * *

  Talking about the way he felt always seemed like a colossal waste of time. No matter how much he tried, all he could bring himself to say out loud about John’s death was that it made him sad.

  * * *

  Of course it made him sad, but there were a million other emotions that he felt in connection with losing his brother. And that was just one example.

  * * *

  “There’s just not… I don’t know, ugh,” Kristian said, running his hand over his face. “I don’t know.”

  * * *

  “You said that twice,” Otto replied. “So, as I understand it, you don’t know.”

  * * *

  Seeing the smirk on his friend’s face, Kristian let out a half a chuckle. The distraction also drew him out of his confusion, jolting his brain back into working order.

  * * *

  With a sigh, Kristian tried again. “So, if my father will give me an advance on my wages from the ranch, that will be around two weeks’ worth.

  * * *

  “With my new job’s wages, I should be about a quarter of the way to the money.”

  * * *

  “That seems like a good start,” Otto said.

  * * *

  There was a heavy pause as Kristian contemplated what his friend had said. Yes, it was a good start, but there was still three-quarters of a debt to pay off.

  * * *

  “If I sell my horse and my cattle that my father gifted me for my twenty-first birthday, that would probably be half the money I owe Graves, if not slightly more,” Kristian mused.

  * * *

  Just saying that he was going to sell his beloved horse made his heart hurt. He had to focus on getting out of this situation, though. No matter how painful it was.

  * * *

  Otto arched his eyebrows in surprise, but he didn’t comment on what Kristian had said. Instead, he went to his desk and took out a piece of paper and pencil.

  * * *

  As he appeared to do some calculations, Kristian shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He hoped he hadn’t made a mistake in coming to his friend.

  * * *

  When Otto looked up from his scribbling, Kristian saw a smile on his friend’s face. “What?” he asked.

  * * *

  “According to my calculations, you’ll actually be closer to paying off three-quarters of your debt, given the price of cattle at the moment,” Otto said.

  * * *

  Kristian felt his cheeks flame with shame at the fact that he hadn’t even thought to check cattle prices. That should have been one of the first things that he did.

  * * *

  He certainly had a lot to learn. Things that would have come easily for John just weren’t second nature to Kristian. He had to be told what to do.

  * * *

  He was thankful for Otto’s guidance. He really was.

  * * *

  “That’s good news,” Kristian said.

  * * *

  Then, they both lapsed into silence. Kristian tried to think about what else he could do. He was so close to having a solution for this whole mess.

  * * *

  He could move on then, focus on his life with Bonny. The future was his for the taking. That had been one of John’s favorite things to say.

  * * *

  Kristian still didn’t know what it meant. Not really.

  * * *

  “Yes, it is,” Otto said. “So why don’t you seem happier?”

  * * *

  Kristian’s tiny bit of hope fell to the floor. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Lots of this is confusing me.

  * * *

  “I’m definitely glad that I am so far along with the plan to pay Graves back, but there’s still a lot to go. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to do it.”

  * * *

  “Well, you’ve already gotten a second job, I don’t think it would be wise for you to get another one,” Otto said. “Is there anything else you could sell?”

  * * *

  “I don’t know,” Kristian said. He racked his brain.

  * * *

  It wasn’t like he had that much of his own. Everything in his house he had made by hand, so none of those things were going to bring in any money.

  * * *

  “Do you think your parents might give you something that you could sell?”

  * * *

  “No,” Kristian said with a fierceness in his voice that he didn’t completely mean. Otto’s eyebrows twitched, but he remained silent.

  * * *

  “I mean, I have to do this on my own. There is no way I want my father to know about this. Or my mother. Or Bonny.”

  * * *

  “You haven’t told Bonny?” Otto asked. He seemed genuinely surprised.

  * * *

  “I don’t want to worry her,” Kristian said, though even as he spoke he felt a wave of guilt rise in his chest.

  * * *

  To change the subject, he said, “Maybe I could make some things to sell. I made all the furniture for the house before Bonny got here. I could probably do some more.”

  * * *

  “Do you have time for that?” Otto asked.

  * * *

  Kristian sank lower into his seat, if that was possible. He hadn’t thought about how much time it was going to take him to do all the things he was filling his time with.

  * * *

  The new job at the livery couldn’t interfere with his work on the ranch.
And anything else couldn’t interfere with his job at the livery. He needed to remember that.

  * * *

  “No,” Kristian said, feeling like pouting rather than continuing forward. Actually, if he was being honest, he felt like a stiff drink, but that wasn’t going to happen.

  * * *

  Then he thought of something. He sat up a little straighter. “I do have my grandfather’s ring,” he said. “I suppose I could sell that.”

  * * *

  Kristian felt a little sick just thinking about selling it. The ring was the only thing he had from the man, other than memories, but he supposed his grandpa would want him to take care of his new family.

  * * *

  The ring would bring a pretty penny. He was right on the edge of something that he wouldn’t be able to undo.

  * * *

  “Are you sure you want to do that?” Otto asked.

  * * *

  “No, I’m not sure,” Kristian said. “It seems like that might be the only thing I have left.”

  * * *

  He didn’t like how dramatic he sounded. John wouldn’t have wanted him to sell it. That was the only sticking point he could come up with.

  * * *

  Sentimentality wasn’t Kristian’s strong suit. Yes, he liked having something from his grandfather, but he knew what his grandpa would say to him.

  * * *

  It occurred to Kristian that he was more like his grandfather than anyone else in his family. He wondered if that was why the old man had left him the ring in the first place.

  * * *

  Kristian remembered when he’d gotten the ring. John had stalked out of the house and hadn’t come back for hours.

  * * *

  Kristian had told his parents that he would be more than happy to give the ring to John. He hated it when his older brother was mad at him.

  * * *

  His parents had insisted that he keep it. That had to mean something.

  * * *

  “Honestly, Otto,” Kristian said, “I don’t know what I’m going to do. Selling the ring might help, but it might not.”

  * * *

  Kristian looked out the window and caught sight of Graves walking down the street again. Was it just his imagination or was the man looking toward Otto’s office?

  * * *

  No matter what, he was going to fix this problem on his own.

  15

  By the time Kristian had finished his usual chores around the ranch, the day had grown hot and his back ached something fierce.

  * * *

  He stepped out of the barn into a dry heat, bending sideways to stretch out his back. Normally, he would be heading to his little house, where Bonny would be preparing supper.

  * * *

  Then, the two of them would drag their rocking chairs outside to catch a breeze and chat while the day faded into night. Now, though, his day was really just beginning.

  * * *

  As he trudged back to the house to wash up and grab a quick bite to eat, he thought about all the lies he had been telling lately. The half-truths were for everyone’s own good, but they made him feel like a jerk.

  * * *

  Especially when Bonny faithfully waited up for him to get home from his shift, or when his mom’s eyes shone with pride, or when his father uttered words of respect.

  * * *

  “Will you be late tonight?” Bonny asked as Kristian hung his hat by the front door.

  * * *

  “I’ll be home as soon as the livery closes,” he replied with a smile. Over the past week, he had felt flattered that Bonny wanted him home.

  * * *

  She set a plate of stew and biscuits on the table and sat down in the seat across from where Kristian sat down.

  * * *

  They bowed their heads and Bonny said a blessing. “Aren’t you going to eat, too?” he asked.

  * * *

  “Oh, I’ll eat later,” she said. “It’s a little early for my stomach.”

  * * *

  He set his fork down on his plate, feeling guilty. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think…”

  * * *

  Bonny let out a laugh. “Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t mind sitting with you while you eat. I used to do that back in Philadelphia. We ate in shifts.”

  * * *

  Kristian began eating again. As he chewed, he thought about this new piece of information about his wife. He was getting to know her in bits and pieces.

  * * *

  At first he thought that was a lousy way to get to know someone, but now that he had secrets of his own, he figured it was the way it had to be.

  * * *

  By the time he was done with supper, he knew he would have to hustle if he was going to be on time for his shift at the livery.

  * * *

  “Thank you for a great meal,” he said as he stood. He went around the table and dropped a quick kiss on the top of Bonny’s head.

  * * *

  He grabbed his hat and added, “I’ll hurry right home after my shift.”

  * * *

  “I’ll be waiting,” Bonny said with a grin.

  * * *

  As he hurried toward the road, he saw his father step out on the porch. Kristian raised a hand in greeting and was about to continue on when his dad waved him over.

  * * *

  Despite the fact that Kristian knew that he was going to have to run all the way to town, he knew he had to stop. As he got over to his parents’ house, his mother stepped out on the porch, as well. Why did he feel like he was going to be ambushed?

  * * *

  “Hello, son, are you off to town again?” his father asked.

  * * *

  “Yep, I have an evening shift at the livery,” Kristian confirmed.

  * * *

  “About that, Kristian,” his mother said. “We’re a little concerned about you having a second job. We just don’t want you to spread yourself too thin.”

  * * *

  “I appreciate that,” he said. “I just need the extra money so that I can save up to build a proper house for me and Bonny.”

  * * *

  His parents exchanged a glance. In that look, Kristian could tell that his parents didn’t quite believe him.

  * * *

  He knew they hoped that he wasn’t lying to them about having a second job and just going to the saloon instead. It hurt him to the core. Yet he didn’t say anything.

  * * *

  “That’s a noble pursuit,” his mother finally said.

  * * *

  “We trust you, son,” his father added.

  * * *

  “Thanks,” Kristian said, feeling awkward. “Well, I have to be going now.”

  * * *

  He set off down the road at a good pace, running along some of the stretches, walking along others. The sun was sinking low over the distant mountains, and Kristian was glad for some relief from the heat.

  * * *

  Still, by the time he reached the edge of town, he was drenched in sweat. He paused beside a water trough near the livery’s hitching posts to splash some water on his face.

  * * *

  Feeling refreshed enough to do another round of work, Kristian headed inside. There were few customers at night, so he generally handled the horses that Duke kept there, as well as putting together orders of feed or supplies.

  * * *

  If Duke left a list of things that needed to get done, Kristian did those, as well. When he stepped into the office that evening, he found a short note on Duke’s desk informing him that there was a horse to shoe.