Redemption In Red Desert: A Clean Western Historical Romance Novel

by Ember Pierce

  * * *

  The thump it made as it landed satisfied her need to do something with the feelings roiling inside of her.

  * * *

  When she got back into the house, she shut and latched the door behind her. She still didn’t think she could climb into bed beside Kristian.

  * * *

  If she was honest with herself, she was worried about their marriage, and beyond that, he’d hurt her feelings.

  * * *

  She had been open with him about everything in her life. She knew they needed to be if they wanted their marriage to last, to work.

  * * *

  She banked the fire for the night and changed into her nightgown. When she finally heard Kristian snoring lightly, she decided that she could climb into bed.

  * * *

  She would welcome sleep, just so she could forget about the things that were bothering her for a little bit.

  * * *

  If they couldn’t be honest with each other, what kind of relationship could they have? She hoped she would have the answers to her questions in the morning.

  17

  “Do you want to go for a buggy ride?”

  * * *

  Bonny looked up from the dough she was kneading and tipped her head to consider her husband.

  * * *

  Ever since they had argued last night, things had been pretty tense. When Kristian had gone out to do his chores that morning, they had barely spoken.

  * * *

  It wasn’t that Bonny was holding a grudge against him, she just couldn’t think of anything to say to him. If he wasn’t going to share his whole heart with her, then they had some serious issues to work out.

  * * *

  “I don’t know,” she said. “I’ve got a lot of work to do around here today.”

  * * *

  “I’m sure you could get it all done after we get back.” Kristian put his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his feet.

  * * *

  She could tell he felt bad about the night before, but she wasn’t quite ready to let him off the hook yet.

  * * *

  He needed to understand that everything she had said, she had meant, and he couldn’t just blow it off. He needed to listen to her.

  * * *

  “It’s my only day off this week,” Kristian said. “I’d really like to spend it with you.”

  * * *

  Bonny felt her heart melting, her resolve faltering, and she found herself saying, “Well, okay, as long as I get back in time to finish up what I need to get done.”

  * * *

  Kristian grinned. “I guarantee it.”

  * * *

  “I’ll pack a dinner for us,” Bonny said. She gave her husband a small smile as he grabbed his hat and headed out to the barn to hitch the horses to the buggy.

  * * *

  She wanted to let go of the animosity she had felt since last night but, as usual, she was having trouble with that particular facet of life.

  * * *

  That had always been one of her biggest weaknesses—the way she held onto grudges long past the time she should.

  * * *

  By the time Kristian got back with the buggy, Bonny had the basket packed. As he helped her into the seat, she asked, “So, where are we going today?”

  * * *

  “I thought we’d go on a little tour of the Red Desert today,” Kristian said. “I haven’t taken you yet, and I figured you should see the place our town is named after.”

  * * *

  Bonny was delighted. She loved the solitude and desolation of the prairie that surrounded them. Seeing the actual Red Desert would be a dream come true.

  * * *

  Her spirits lifted as they left the ranch behind and headed out onto the nearby range. The whole world seemed to open up, the sky bigger than she ever could have imagined.

  * * *

  She could breathe here.

  * * *

  “How far do we go?” she asked, testing out how things would be now that they had actually had their first fight.

  * * *

  “It’s only a few miles, and I know that I should have brought you before, but we’ve just been so busy,” Kristian said.

  * * *

  He seemed eager to make amends and move on, but she was a little disappointed that they weren’t going to talk about it more.

  * * *

  Choose your battles. That was the advice her mother had given her before she had left to come west.

  * * *

  At first, Bonny hadn’t been sure what her mother had been talking about, exactly, because at home in Philadelphia it had seemed like everything was a battle.

  * * *

  That wasn’t something she could change. The past was done. She needed to focus on a different future than the one she would have had back East.

  * * *

  So, if they weren’t going to talk about it, then Bonny needed to work on a way to move forward.

  * * *

  “I’m just excited to see it,” she said, folding her hands in her lap. Going out in the buggy made her feel ridiculously fancy for some reason.

  * * *

  She had never ridden in buggies before coming to Red Desert. Somehow, the world seemed more civilized in Wyoming than anywhere else on Earth.

  * * *

  They drove through the sagebrush prairie, the pale green fronds growing like fireworks in bushes as far as the eye could see. Prickly yucca plants grew here and there.

  * * *

  The grass was already dry and yellowing, the stalks whispering in the breeze. Scrubby trees grew along the creek banks; otherwise, there was no shade from the blistering midday sun.

  * * *

  The red buttes rose in the distance, their red and white swirling stripes giving an otherworldly quality to the whole scene. Kristian drove along the edge of the desert, slowing the horses to a sedate walk so that Bonny could take it all in.

  * * *

  “This is amazing,” she breathed as she stared at the reddish-hued sand that shifted with the movement of the wind.

  * * *

  The effect was hypnotic. Bonny knew that she could have stayed there all day staring at the Red Desert.

  * * *

  Kristian pulled the reins to stop the horses. He seemed pleased that she liked it so much. They sat in silence for a long time, just looking out at the landscape.

  * * *

  Finally, he said, “So, this must be pretty different from anything you have in Philadelphia.”

  * * *

  Bonny laughed. “Oh, yes,” she said. “Philadelphia is greener than it is here. And we have big trees. But there is nothing like this anywhere near it.”

  * * *

  “Do you miss it? Philadelphia, I mean,” Kristian said.

  * * *

  Glancing at him from the corner of her eye, she thought he seemed nervous. Usually, he seemed so confident. “No,” she said adamantly. “I don’t miss Philadelphia.

  * * *

  “I wasn’t born to be a city person. It’s strange, but I feel like I was born to be here. Every time I look around I’m just stunned that I actually get to call this place home.”

  * * *

  “I’m glad you like it here,” he said. “Do you miss your family?”

  * * *

  Bonny nodded slowly as she considered his question. “Of course I miss them, but I don’t miss living with them. The place was always a madhouse.

  * * *

  “I realized the other day that I was never bored there, though. Too many people relying on me. Always something to do.”

  * * *

  “Are you bored here?” Kristian asked. He sounded even more tense, if that was possible, like her answer might hurt him in ways she didn’t understand.

  * * *

  “Only sometimes,” Bonny said carefully. “And it’s not so much that I’m bored as I’m at a loss for things to do, to keep me
occupied.

  * * *

  “Like I said before, I always had my brothers and sisters to care for. Diapers to change. Meals to make—and stretch, I should add. Always trying to find ways to make sure we all had enough to eat.”

  * * *

  Kristian was quiet for a long moment. Then he said, “I didn’t realize. Were you… were you hungry often?”

  * * *

  Bonny shrugged. “It’s funny, but I don’t really remember. Of course, I was, but that’s not what I think about.

  * * *

  “What I think about is how hard it was to be the one that everyone relied on because both of my parents had to work all day six days a week.

  * * *

  “Oh!” Bonny exclaimed suddenly. “What is that?”

  * * *

  Scampering in front of them were two fat creatures that reminded Bonny of tailless squirrels, for lack of a better description.

  * * *

  She had never seen anything quite like them before. They disappeared down a hole before one of them popped back out and seemed to bark at them.

  * * *

  “Those guys? Oh, they’re just prairie dogs,” Kristian said with a chuckle as he watched the little creature scold them for coming too close to its home.

  * * *

  “Prairie dogs,” Bonny repeated. “They are adorable. I love the fat one. I wish we could catch it and take it home with us.”

  * * *

  Kristian laughed. “I don’t think they’d take too kindly to that. There are hundreds of them out here.

  * * *

  “They build burrows underground. You’ll see them pop up all the time now that you have noticed them.”

  * * *

  Bonny watched in wonder as indeed more came out of nearby burrows and then scampered back down another hole. She could have sat and watched them play all day.

  * * *

  “They must be pretty cramped down there.”

  * * *

  “I doubt they notice too much,” Kristian replied.

  * * *

  “It kind of reminds me of living with my family. We were always cramped, and there was never any extra space to speak of, but in the moment, I don’t think we ever really noticed,” Bonny mused.

  * * *

  “It sounds like you had a decent time growing up with so many people,” Kristian said. “Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to grow up in a bigger family.

  * * *

  “It might have been nice to have more brothers and sisters. I think it would have helped when John died, to have another sibling to lean on for support.”

  * * *

  They both lapsed into silence until Bonny reached over and squeezed Kristian’s forearm with her hand. “I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you,” she said.

  * * *

  Kristian coughed and she could tell that he was embarrassed by the swell of emotion that flitted across his face.

  * * *

  “That’s enough about me,” he said. “Tell me more about your family. All those siblings, huh?”

  * * *

  She knew he was trying to change the subject, but she decided to let him get away with it. “I love all my siblings, but some of them were certainly harder to get along with than others.

  * * *

  “My sister Katie was a perpetual liar. Just little fibs, but it drove me crazy. She’s the one they’ll all be leaning on now that I’m gone, and all I can hope is that she understands how important it is for her to be a good role model for the younger ones.”

  * * *

  “It seems like you took your role as big sister pretty seriously,” Kristian commented.

  * * *

  “I did,” Bonny agreed. “Someone had to be there for them.

  * * *

  “My mom had to find a job as a maid in the wealthy part of town to help supplement what my father made at the factory because he couldn’t always be relied on.”

  * * *

  “Oh, how so?” Kristian asked. He shifted in his seat and one of the horses caught the movement and pawed nervously at the ground.

  * * *

  Kristian steadied the reins and continued to look at her with such interest that she felt her cheeks flush. She’d never had anyone pay such close attention to her before.

  * * *

  Bonny wasn’t sure she wanted to share everything about her father, but she knew it would be hypocritical of her to withhold anything from Kristian when she wanted full honesty from him.

  * * *

  Taking a deep breath, she said, “So, before I tell you this, I need you to know that I love both my parents and I think they did the best they could given their circumstances, okay?”

  * * *

  Kristian nodded. “Of course. I wouldn’t think anything else unless you told me differently.”

  * * *

  “Okay, well, my father drank. A lot. My whole life. I don’t think I can remember a time when he wasn’t a drinker.

  * * *

  “He liked to go to the tavern after work, before work, in the middle of the day. It didn’t really matter what time it was. If the mood struck him, off he would go.

  * * *

  “As you can imagine, none of his bosses liked that, and he lost more jobs than I could count.”

  * * *

  “Wow, I’m so sorry,” Kristian said. “That had to be hard. Did he ever… get violent?”

  * * *

  “No, nothing like that. If anything, drinking made him sad. He came home and cried a lot, slumped in a chair in the corner.

  * * *

  “It scared the little ones, but I knew how to block it out. I just hated it when he came home reeking of alcohol. I swear, you could smell him a mile away.”

  * * *

  Bonny lapsed into silence as she remembered the awful times when she could smell her father before he got home. There was something about the ripeness of a drunk that she would never be able to forget.

  * * *

  “My dad is definitely not a drinker,” Kristian said. “Neither was John. I don’t know what it would be like to grow up with that.”

  * * *

  Bonny looked at him as he said that, and she wondered if he was pitying her. She hated it when people felt sorry for her for things that she couldn’t control in her life.

  * * *

  Lifting her chin, she said, “I just hated who he became when he was drunk. It wasn’t just the crying, either.

  * * *

  “He would go on and on about how he could have made his fortune if things had just gone differently for him. It made him seem sort of pathetic, you know?

  * * *

  “I never understood why he couldn’t just go out and change his life.”

  * * *

  “Maybe there was more to him than you knew. I think kids don’t really get to see who their parents are, separate from the role of mom or dad.”

  * * *

  Kristian worried the reins between his fingers.

  * * *

  “That’s awfully profound,” Bonny said, once again impressed with the depth of her new husband. “But it doesn’t change the fact that I just can’t abide drinking.

  * * *

  “That’s why I’m so glad that you don’t drink. I can’t feel comfortable around a man who drinks. It’s just the way I am.”

  * * *

  “I can understand that, given your background,” Kristian said. “But don’t you think that sometimes drinking hides other things?”