Hers From The Start: A Collection of First In Series Reverse Harem

by Laura Greenwood

  "Wynter," she says softly and gets up in one smooth motion. "It is so good to see you, my daughter."

  Her voice is full of chimes and snowflakes - both warm and cold, friendly and distant. I can't get a read on her. Is this just an act?

  "I am happy to see you, mother," I reply just as formally.

  "My advisors have told me of your difficult journey. I'm sure you'd like to rest."

  I huff. "No, actually, I would like to talk to you."

  My Guardians wince behind me, but I ignore them. This is about my mother and me. We've got some talking to do. Lots of it. We've got twenty-two years to catch up on.

  A muscle twitches on her cheek. "Very well, follow me. Your Guardians can go to their quarters. I've assigned them rooms close to your own."

  Storm gives me a quick look, and I nod. I'll manage this on my own.

  I walk towards the throne where my mother is waiting for me. She's wearing a long, flowing gown that hugs her figure. If you just looked at her body, not her face, you'd think she was in her mid-twenties. But it's her eyes that show that she's a very old soul in a young body. They are full of wisdom and knowledge, and just as much pain. And right now, they're smiling at me. Maybe she really is happy to see me.

  Beira leads me through a narrow door hidden behind the throne, and along a dark corridor until we reach a small room. After all the pomp and grandiosity in the throne room, this is very different. I prefer it, though. Two large sofas face each other, and a few armchairs surround a lit fireplace built into the white stone walls. Again, there are tapestries, but these are warm and colourful, depicting animals that I don't recognise. I've never thought about what kind of wildlife they have here in the Realms, but apparently it's very different from Earth's fauna.

  My mother beckons me to sit, and I take my seat on the sofa opposite. She looks a little disappointed that I didn't sit down next to her, but her expression quickly smoothens.

  She snaps her fingers and suddenly a yellow light appears around the doorframe.

  "Now nobody will be able to listen in," she explains with a smile. With another gesture, two wine glasses appear on a little table between us. Instead of taking one though, she looks at me. I squirm a little under her inquiring eyes.

  But then she smiles, "I'm glad you requested to speak with me in private - had it come from me, people may have become suspicious."

  I stare at her, not understanding what this is about. Apparently, she can see the questions on my face.

  "There is a lot going on that I have not been able to explain to you, Wynter-"

  "People call me Wyn," I interrupt.

  She smiles again. "That's what I call you in my mind. How wonderful that I can finally address you as such in real life." Her expression turns serious again. "Not everything is as it may seem to you. There are many things we have to talk about, and I'm sure you have questions... but first, tell me, what's going on between you and those yummy Guardians?"

  I gape at her, speechless. Excuse me? My mother - who's been absent for most of my life - is asking me about my... love life? And did she really just call them 'yummy'?

  "Oh, don't look at me like that," she laughs. "It's obvious - even if I didn't have my sources telling me how close you have become. And I'm so happy for you - they are the best Guardians I could find."

  I still don't have any words to respond. This is too surreal. Ground, please swallow me now. I need to change the topic.

  "My magic is gone," I blurt out. She raises an eyebrow, knowing exactly what I'm doing. But then she turns serious as she realises what I just said.

  "What happened?"

  I tell her about the battle, how I did that stupid thing of trying to kill lots of demons at the same time. When I finish describing how I was trapped within my own body, she frowns.

  "I will have my court physician examine you."

  "Thank you, but I don't think it's anything physical. It's like my magic is trapped and I can't get her out."

  "Don't worry, our physicians deal with both physical and magical emergencies," she says soothingly, but a small line has started to appear between her brows. Not as unfazed as she seems. "I had planned to talk to you further, but this shouldn't wait."

  She snaps her fingers again and the yellow glow around the door disappears. My mother closes her eyes for a few seconds, then opens them again, looking straight at me with her sparkling blue eyes.

  "Theodore will come to your chambers. Tamara is waiting outside to show you the way. I will join you there shortly."

  She's all back to business, the earlier smile a faint echo on her lips.

  I give her a short nod, not sure what to say, and leave the room.

  Chapter Twenty

  I stare at the girl in the mirror. She’s so familiar and yet so foreign. Smooth, flawless skin, beautifully curved cheekbones, eyes surrounded by long lashes that make makeup obsolete. Her eyes are brighter than they should be.

  This is supposed to be me. And until a moment ago, I hadn't even realised that I'd changed. The last time I saw myself was in Chesca’s house. Before I got wings. Before the rainbow. Before Aodh died.

  Someone clears their throat behind me and I turn around, ripping my gaze off the mirror. I don't want to think about looking different. I liked me being normal, ordinary. I never wanted to look like a demi-goddess. Wings, I can get used to, but those cheekbones? Nah.

  "Your Highness, I am Theodore, her Majesty's physician. I've been told you've been experiencing problems with your magic?"

  Yeah, you could call it a problem. A rather big one.

  "Yes, ever since... I think I used too much magic at once. I blacked out, and ever since I can't access my magic."

  "Do you still feel the connection to it?"

  I shake my head. "I know it's still in me, but I can't reach it. She's buried in her cave and I can't get her out." I huff in frustration. Telling others about it makes me feel like a total failure. How the hell did I manage to bury my own magic?

  He looks at me in confusion. "She? A cave?"

  I frown. "Yes, my magic lives in a cave close to my heart. I thought it was that way for everyone?"

  "Magic presents differently in each person, but a cave... and talking about magic as a person... I've not come across that before."

  I shrug uncomfortably. "What does your magic look like?"

  He's clearly taken aback my question and takes a moment to think. "It's a large ball of light in my chest."

  I wait for more but apparently, that's it. Seriously? How boring is that!

  I almost imagine my cat stretching her claws in response, but no, the boulders are still covering the entrance to her cave.

  "May I examine you, Princess?"

  No? "Yes, what do I need to do?"

  "Just sit on the sofa; most people prefer to sit or lie down. Close your eyes, and I will feel for your magic and try and connect with it. You might feel a gentle tug, but don't respond to it for now."

  That doesn't sound too bad. I do as he asks and wait for something to happen. All I notice is something pressing against my bum from below the lining of the sofa. Princess and the Pea, that's what I feel like.

  Nothing is happening. At least, nothing I can feel. Maybe he's doing stuff with my magic? I resist the urge to open my eyes. Patience, Wyn, is a virtue. Well, the same could be said for impatience. In my opinion.

  Finally, he clears his throat and I take that as a sign to look up at him.

  "I could not reach your magic. It's like... you've never had any in the first place."

  I gape at him. "I can reassure you that I have had magic. It's still in there!" I jump up, but then I don't know what to do. I feel like running out of the room. Real mature, I know.

  I manage to swallow my anger somehow. It's not his fault that I feel like something has been ripped away from me, mangled, then pushed inside again, but with a new lock that I cannot open. Damn that magic. Damn me for being cocky. Damn those demons. Damn the whole wide world.
<
br />   I punch the wall.

  It hurts.

  What a surprise.

  My mother chooses this precise moment to enter my quarters.

  "Wynter, whatever are you doing?!"

  I look down at my bleeding hand, grimacing sheepishly. "Having an argument with the wall?"

  My voice quivers, and I hope that she doesn't notice. I'm not sure I can deal with my mother's frosty response to my emotions. I remember, once, on one of her rare visits, when I fell and hurt my knee. I must have been no older than five or six. It hurt like hell and what I would have wanted is for my mother to kneel beside me, give me a hug, put a plaster on the wound... eh, scratch. Instead, she walked on, calling me to follow her, totally ignoring my pain. I was limping after her, crying, devastated by the complete lack of empathy. Back then, I didn't understand why she was so cold towards me. When we got back to my adoptive parents' home, I showed my knee to my mum and she did what I had been craving all afternoon: a long, warm hug.

  Right now, I could use one of those.

  Where are my Guardians when I need them?

  "Leave us," my mother commands, and the physician bows, shooting us a curious glance as he steps out of the room. Good riddance.

  Beira approaches me hesitantly. Gone is the commanding queen she was just a second ago. Now, she looks unsure of herself. Maybe I don't want that hug after all. I can't deal with the confusion of my mother suddenly not being icy.

  But then I'm in her arms and I hug her back. She slowly starts patting me on the back, like she's not quite sure what she's doing. This is the first time I've ever been touched by her.

  Her skin is cool and soft as our cheeks touch, mine wet with tears I didn't notice running down my face. She continues the back-patting and I'm tempted to tell her to stop, but at the same time, I don't want this hug to end. Who would have thought, my mother embracing me. Weird. I think I'm beginning to understand that there's more to Queen Beira than what I’ve seen for the past twenty-two years.

  When we step away from each other, she grasps my hand and blows on it, like a mother would do for a toddler. Except that when I lift my hand to look at it, it's fully healed. A bit of dried blood is the only sign that I ever punched that stupid wall. Wow. Guess it's not just Crispin who can heal. Although she did it in a very different way; I didn't see any magic at all.

  She shrugs as she sees my amazement. "I can teach you how to do that."

  "Really?"

  She gives me a small smile. "Your Guardians told me of the abilities you've exhibited so far. We'll have to see how closely they match what I can do, but I'm sure you'll be able to learn some of my skills."

  "What can you do?" I blurt out. She laughs, a beautiful sound of icicles chiming in a frosty morning breeze.

  "Too much to talk about right now. But before we can get to that, we need to fix your magic."

  Oh, right. My mood falls to depression level again.

  "I assume from your little wall outburst that Healer Theodore didn't have a solution?"

  I nod. "He couldn't feel my magic. But I know it's still there! It's just buried, locked away. It's there but I can't reach it."

  She frowns and puts a cool hand on my arm. "Mind if I take a look?"

  I wonder why she didn't do that in the first place, but nod again.

  "This might feel a little... overwhelming," she warns me, and a second later I know exactly what she means by that.

  It's like I'm suddenly floating in space, my body gone, nothing but stars around me. It's beautiful and frightening. There's no sound, no wind, no movement at all. Nothing but darkness and stars. And me, little me, floating in a vacuum with no idea of how I got here. I try to move, but nothing happens. Guess you can't move without a body.

  "Wyn, can you hear me?" a loud voice suddenly booms from all around me.

  "Ehm, yes?" I ask into the nothingness around me. And notice that I can't hear my voice. It's only in my head.

  "You need to stay put for just a few more minutes while I try and figure out your magic," my mother's majestic voice resonates in my head. I shudder (without a body, which is weird). Here, she really sounds like a Goddess. I turn around, looking at the stars. It's beautiful in a cold way. No nebulas, black holes, falling stars, just small, golden balls dotted around the black emptiness.

  I huff and wait. As beautiful as this is, there isn't much to focus on. And I miss my body.

  I begin to hum a random song, but stop when I can't hear myself sing. Not that that's a bad thing, I've been told that my singing voice is rather... well, let's just say it's enough for some drunk karaoke.

  With a flash of light, I'm suddenly back in the present. Good riddance, creepy stars.

  My mother's hands are hugging my cheeks and her piercing blue eyes are staring into mine. They're full of worry and seriousness. Oh no, please don't give me bad news. I much prefer happy news. Like, I'll snap my fingers and your magic will be back. That kind of stuff. Not the end-of-the-world scenario that's been playing at the back of my mind ever since I woke up from my locked-in state.

  "Wyn, there's a problem with your magic," my mother begins.

  I step back, away from her cold hands. "Tell me something I don't know!" I huff, my voice coming out sharper than I intended.

  She doesn't react, which makes me worry even more. I draw my fingers through my hair, finding an occupation for them to stop them from fidgetting.

  "When you killed all those demons, their life energy was set free. Imagine it as a mixture of your magic and your soul, your essence. Yours is bright as starlight, but theirs is dark and tainted. There was so much energy in the air that it would have been harmful to everybody standing around those demons. I think you may have instinctively absorbed some of it to protect your Guardians. I don't know how, but it's in you, a dark magic surrounding your own. And your magic was clever, she saw that the darkness would hurt you, so she barricaded herself away, imprisoning both herself and the demon energy." She sighs. "I can set her free, but that would also mean releasing the dark magic. It could kill you."

  Wow. Did she just tell me that I could die? I shake my head. "There must be another way to get my magic back. You're the Mother of Gods, for fuck's sake! You must be able to do something!"

  The door opens and a moment later, Storm’s deep voice caresses my ear. "I agree." His strong arms surround me and I lean back against my Guardian's chest, drinking in his warmth. I need him. He can fix things, I'm sure of it. He's Storm, he's strong.

  My mother straightens her shoulders. The Queen has returned, pushing away the concerned mother I had just witnessed for the first time.

  "Watch your tone, Guardian," she warns him. "Wyn, I will ask my Council to do some research. For now, your magic will have to stay locked. Do not try to access it, no matter what."

  With that, she leaves the room. Thanks a lot, mummy.

  Storm gently grabs my shoulders and turns me until I'm looking into his eyes. There's darkness in them, and thunder, and something soft. My Storm. I stretch my toes and kiss him. It takes him a second to respond, then his mouth opens, letting me in, while his arms press me against his body, gripping me tight. I hug him back while our tongues dance in desperation. I'm drowning in him, and it feels good.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Thank the Gods that my room in this palace has a large bed. Otherwise, I'd have to sleep alone, and not cuddled in the midst of my Guardians. Crispin is on one side of me, his hand hugging my chest. He's very close to my breasts, and I'm sure if he was aware of that, he'd move. I still don't know why he pulls away whenever we get close, but for now, I need to accept that he isn't as touchy-feely as the other three. I look at Storm's sleeping figure. Okay, scratch the feely bit. Touchy, yes. Earlier, our kiss culminated in a little touching. Until the healer returned and gave us a stern glance. Ooops. Apparently, it looks bad when the Queen's daughter is kissing a Guardian while he has his hands under her shirt. I must learn more about court etiquette.

  Frost is snor
ing softly and I'm tempted to give him a slight kick. Not just to stop the snoring. I also imagine it to be quite fun. Arc is - he's looking at me. I'm not the only one who can't sleep. I sigh and slip out from under the duvet. Sleep isn't coming. Arc grins and follows me out of the room, onto the balcony. Stars are shining brightly over the dark landscape. They look like the same ones we have on earth. Yes, I think I can make out the Big Dipper. Or something that looks like it. Maybe it's called something else here. The Big Icicle. The Big Snowflake. Big Yeti, perhaps? And yes, I get silly when I'm tired.

  I feel for my magic to conjure some warm air to dispel the night's chill - and remember that there is no magic. I sigh and suppress a shiver. Maybe the balcony was a bad idea.

  "Cannae sleep, Princess?" Arc whispers into my ear and hugs me from behind.

  "Give the man a medal," I joke while pushing an elbow into his abs. He growls and presses me closer against his body.

  "Are ye being violent? Ye know that's not what a wee Princess is supposed ta do?"

  I laugh and he joins me. His chest is rubbing against me with each of his laughing breaths. I savour the touch and wish for more.

  "How are ye settling in?" he asks softly when we both fall quiet again.

  "I'm not sure. Everything is so... alien. It's like I've been thrown into a fairy tale, except that instead of an evil stepmother I suddenly have one that seems more caring than I expected, and four rather than one Prince Charming."

  "I can be more than just charming," he whispers seductively and I have to fight hard against the impulse to turn around and kiss him. When I don't, he lowers his head and begins to nuzzle on my neck.