Hers From The Start: A Collection of First In Series Reverse Harem

by Laura Greenwood

  “You look dead on your feet. Remember what I said earlier about taking care of yourself as well. It is too easy to become lost in the needs within these walls.”

  He was right. I was feeling tired, which was strange. It wasn’t like I’d done anything strenuous over the past few days.

  “I’m finished for the next few hours. Shall we go back to your room to relax?”

  Glancing over my shoulder, I saw that he held his hand out, inviting me. Saying a quick goodnight to Chloe, I dropped my hand in his. “Sounds like a plan.”

  As we walked back to my room, I wondered if all doctors here took care of their patients and families like he did. If so, they trained amazing doctors who must be well sought after.

  Adam stopped in front of my door, blocking my entry. “Close your eyes. I have a surprise for you.”

  My gaze narrowed. His eyes twinkled and the toes on one of his feet tapped against the floor as he waited for me to obey. I wanted more information, but the idea of a surprise, something I rarely experienced, had me closing my eyes.

  “You can’t see, correct?”

  Moving air brushed over my face. “Nope.”

  I heard the door click open and then Adam took my hands in his, leading me into my room. “Just a few more steps, Kayla.”

  He dropped my hands, and I heard the door shut behind me. The warmth of his body heated my back as his breath stirred against the exposed skin on my neck. “Open up.”

  “A TV! You managed to get me a TV!” I spun around, forgetting how close he stood. A slight blush colored his cheeks. But I couldn’t help it. I threw my arms around his waist and hugged him. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

  I dropped my arms and took a step back. A sudden shyness crept over me. Twisting my fingers together, I moved over to my suitcase.

  “You’re welcome. I knew I would go stir crazy without anything to do except sit in the NICU twenty-four hours a day and I assumed you would as well.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he sat on the side of my bed. “Besides, it wasn’t anything, I just asked if we had an extra teaching TV around and we did.”

  I glanced over my shoulder, elbow deep in my suitcase, trying to find my pyjamas. “I’m so grateful, so thank you again.”

  His nose wrinkled as he pursed his lips. “Did you not unpack yet? You really should. Go ahead and unpack while I hook up the TV.”

  Unpacking hadn’t been high on my list after Anne showed me the room, but I supposed he was correct. It would make things easier if I didn’t have to root through my suitcase all the time. Not that I had a lot of clothes since these were my stepmother approved ones. Although they were the most modern ones, so I didn’t look too out of place.

  A few trips later and my suitcase was nearly empty. “Kayla, you dropped something on the floor by the dresser leg.”

  Bending down, I grabbed the white folded piece of paper but didn’t recognize it. I was about to ask him if maybe it was his from when he brought the TV in, when I noticed my name written on it. Sinking to the floor, I opened it.

  Kayla,

  I hope that by the time you find this note everything will be perfect for you, the panic over with. But somehow, I have the feeling that things won’t be all right. I want you to call me if you need anything. Money, a phone, anything, and I won’t even tell Kris if you don’t want me to. But even if you don’t need anything, I want you to call me to let me know. If you don’t, I will sic Kris and Ryan on you even at your stepmother’s.

  If you don’t believe me, just try me.

  Desiree

  PS. I’m so sorry that my brother took off without telling you. I think you need to teach him a lesson that you are not going to just sit back and wait for him to come to his senses. Live your life and I’m sure that you will find your way back to them.

  “Kayla. Are you okay?” Adam kneeled on the floor in front of me.

  Lifting my head, I stared at him through my tears. His thumb brushed across them, wiping the fallen ones away as quickly as they spilled over. “Is it bad news?”

  I shook my head. It was unexpected but not bad. Desiree and I had known each other, but with me always with her brother and Kris, we hadn’t truly known each other. Yet she proved she was his sister by the way she treated me. This note, this offer for help would have come from Kris and Ryan if they’d known. But they didn’t.

  The rush of anger over their actions dried up my tears. I might have been tempted to reach out to them for help, but Desiree’s offer gave me the perfect excuse not to. I would just call her and tell her what my father did and about how I was taking care of Chloe. She would be my outside support.

  Resolved, I brushed Adam’s hand away. Hurt flashed through his eyes, but he smothered it. Still, I saw it and it tugged on my heart. He’d been nothing, but sweet and kind to me. He deserved to be treated better. “Sorry, Adam. I didn’t mean that. Can you help me up and I’ll explain?”

  The corners of his mother lifted to match my hesitant smile. He grasped my hand and lifted me to my feet. “Come sit with me on the bed?”

  I nodded and followed him. Climbing onto the bed, I adjusted the pillows until I could sit, leaning against them. “A friend of mine dropped the note into my suitcase when she helped me pack. She told me to call her to explain what happened. I’ve never really had that happen before. I don’t have many friends due to my stepmother’s rules, so this”—I spread my arms wide to encompass the room and Adam—“is so much more than I ever could have believed.”

  “Kayla.” His voice conveyed more emotions than I could begin to unravel. I went willingly into his arms when he pulled me to him. “Tomorrow, you can use my phone and call her, okay.” He stroked my hair, easing some of the tension within me.

  “Thanks again, Adam.”

  “You’re welcome, Kayla.” He shifted me until I was curled up against him with my head on his chest. His arm wrapped around me as he rested his hand on my waist. “Let’s watch this movie I found and relax.” He turned it on without waiting for me to speak.

  My body shifted and the hard surface became soft. A slight pressure on the top of my head had me cracking open my eye. “W-w-what?”

  “Shh. Go back to sleep, Kayla. I’ve been paged, but I’ll be back.”

  The word paged broke roused me enough to ask, “Chloe?” My heart stuttered as I waited for the answer.

  “No, she’s fine. The page is for someone else.”

  I felt a blanket cover me, but that was all before I was lost back into dreamland.

  Chapter Sixteen

  After three weeks in the NICU caring for Chloe, I felt like an old hand. During the first few days they taught me how to monitor her various alarms and how to stroke her if the oxygen levels dropped after they lowered some of her ventilator settings. The nurses were quick to hand over diaper changing duties as well. But the thing that had really scared me was when the staff brought up the idea of Kangaroo Care.

  In those first few days, walking through the unit, I’d noticed parents holding their diaper-clad baby on their bare chests. Chloe’s nurse explained the process to me, and I thought it was a great idea. But when they suggested that I do it, my heart raced and sweat poured off me. Chloe was tiny, fragile even. What if I dropped her? What if I pulled out one of the various tubes running from her body?

  Between Adam and the nurse, they talked me into changing into a hospital gown and giving Kangaroo Care—a fitting name for what they called the skin-to-skin holding—a chance.

  By the time I’d returned from the bathroom dressed in the hospital gown to Chloe’s area, my stool had been pushed aside and a recliner sat next to Chloe’s pod. Adam and the nurse had been deep in conversation, allowing me to lean against the wall and examine Adam in his element.

  When he spoke, the older nurse listened intently even though she’d been working in the NICU before Adam had even started university. She acted as if he was the attending doctor, and I’d noticed the other staff acting the same towards him. He comma
nded their respect, which reassured me.

  He turned his head, and his eyes landed on me. A smile flashed onto his face. “Come on, Kayla.” I put my shaking hand in his strong and steady one. His other hand landed on top, encasing my hand between his. “You’ll do fine. Everything will go well. Trust me.”

  I sat back in the chair, but my heart still felt like it was lodged in my throat. The nurse handed Adam a stack of warm blankets that he spread over my legs, stopping at my waist before the nurse booted him from the immediate area to give me a little privacy.

  “Pull the blanket up to your shoulders, sweetie, and then pull your arms out of the sleeves on your top gown so that your chest is bare.”

  Tucking the blanket under my chin, I shimmied in the chair, trying to follow her directions without revealing my chest to everyone. “Done.”

  The nurse dropped the side on the Isolette and unhooked various wires and tubes, pulling them from where they entered the pod, and then rehooked them up to Chloe on the outside. “She’s all ready for you. Just hold up one side of the blanket off your chest and I’ll place her down.”

  Taking a deep breath, I swiftly lifted the blanket, knowing that the longer I took, the colder Chloe would become.

  And then the nurse placed Chloe on my chest.

  Her little body curled into me… and the love I felt for her became tangible. It was nothing I’d ever felt before. This little girl was almost like my own. With her on my chest, even under the blanket, her body relied on mine to regulate its temperature.

  “Look at her monitors, Kayla. Chloe loves being like this with you.” Adam stepped to the side of my chair and smiled down at me.

  My hand stroked her back, feeling each of her muscles relax. The grin on my face stretched my cheek muscles as my own body began to relax in concert with hers.

  Adam’s hand pushed my hair off my head. “You’re a natural at this.” His hand went to the pager on his waist as a buzz sounded. “Shoot. I’ve got to run. I’ll check back later to see how things progress.” His hand squeezed my shoulder before he strutted away.

  “You know, Kayla. I’ve never seen him that way before.”

  My brows furrowed as I chewed on my bottom lip. What was she talking about? Did she see something the staff considered inappropriate?

  The nurse continued to change out the sheets in Chloe’s Isolette with her back to me. “He’s a great doctor but has always been so shy, being younger than the other residents. I’m sure he was probably a loner during school due to his brilliance, but around you, he has more confidence. It’s translating into how he interacts with the staff as well. We’ve all noticed it.”

  I hmmm’d, not knowing what else to say. Was this a compliment or was she suggesting something more sinister? Did the staff think we were an item?

  The beeps on Chloe’s monitors increased in a response to the tightness in my chest. I took a few cleansing breaths and willed myself to calm down.

  As the beeps slowed again, the nurse smiled at me. “Dr. Johnson is right. You are a natural at this Kayla. It’s almost as if Chloe views you as her mom.” The nurse spun on her heel and walked toward the small nurses’ station. “I’ll be over here charting, if you need me.”

  Kangaroo care became second nature to me. I no longer required the nurse’s assistance to unhook Chloe and place her on my chest. While I still tried to keep from flashing everyone when I put Chloe on my chest, it couldn’t always be helped. There were a number of times I’d caught the telltale staining on Adam’s cheeks when he met my eyes after I settled in with Chloe.

  Life inside the hospital became predictable and almost boring, which the staff assured me was the best scenario. I couldn’t say the same for my emotional state. I’d borrowed Adam’s phone a number of times to chat with Desiree, but each time I never uttered either Kris’s or Ryan’s names. Although Desiree would occasionally mention how Kris had texted her, explaining how busy and tiring their special training program was. She agreed to keep my location and her contact with me a secret, but promised she would consult with me first if he asked her about me.

  To add to the heartache I felt over losing Ryan and Kris from my life, I felt guilty about the place Adam was carving out for himself. He always tried to eat at least one meal with me. Every night when he was on call he would spend his downtime in my room, watching movies he brought in from home or borrowed from the hospital library. I’d come to crave those times we spent together.

  It became easier to touch him as well. Not that it had ever been hard, but now I no longer felt guilty while doing it. His touch provided comfort and encouragement. He became a safe place to land whenever my brain decided to go down memory lane.

  “Kayla, a package arrived for you today.” Adam held out a square, brown paper wrapped parcel with both his hands.

  I looked up confused, wondering who would have sent me something. Lifting my eyes, I examined Adam closely for any sign he knew what it contained, but his eyes only proved his innocence. Unless—I narrowed my gaze—he’d learned to bluff without a tell within the past twenty-four hours.

  He chuckled. “Honestly, it’s not from me, and I don’t know who sent it.”

  “Fine, but…” I glanced down at Chloe who slept against my chest.

  Adam placed the package on the bedside table before pulling the stool next to my chair. Sitting down, he lifted the package and placed it on my lap. “I’ll hold her against you while you open it.”

  At my nod, he slid his hand under the blanket and placed it on top of the hand I used to massage Chloe’s back. I could feel the heat from his hand radiating against my skin. With each breath I took, the way his hand and arm were positioned, his forearm rubbed against the side of my breast. Trying to ignore the sensation, I pulled my hand out.

  I examined the package, looking for a return address, but there wasn't one. Shrugging my shoulders without waking Chloe, I carefully peeled the paper away to reveal a plain box. When I found the opening, I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face.

  The package came from Desiree. I could tell without opening it. She’d drawn a Mi’kmaq medicine wheel on the top. A very important spiritual symbol from her heritage. My heart clenched. I knew whatever the box contained would be her way of trying to make my life easier. Not only on behalf of her, but also in place of her absentee brother. It was one thing she did disagree with me on. In our conversations, she always slid in a reference to how Kris would want to take care of me.

  I pulled out the envelope on top and opened it. A gasp escaped and Chloe stirred. Adam rubbed his hand up and down her back to soothe her, but the motion did anything but to me.

  “What made you gasp?”

  I held up the prepaid credit card with $500 written on a post-it.

  “Wow. Nice friends that you have. I’m happy that someone is willing to help you.”

  “Besides you?” I raised both my eyebrows since I sucked and couldn’t raise only one.

  Adam gave me an indulgent look. “Yes, besides me and the rest of the staff who love you.”

  This time it was my turn to blush from his mention of the word love, which made me wonder if he categorized himself as one of the staff or as someone separate. But I also blushed because he took care of me like Kris and Ryan used to. Due to him I had a place to stay, the TV to keep me entertained, and at least two meals a day. Not only did he either bring me a hospital meal or take out most nights, I was sure he’d talked the nurses into ensuring that I received both a breakfast and lunch tray. It was through his generosity that I still had ten dollars left from my original hundred.

  “What else?”

  I tipped the box to discover another box inside. Flipping it over, it took a few shakes but the inside box slid out revealing a new cell phone. A post-it on the box told me not to worry about the monthly bill as it was taken care of. She’d even set it up with data.

  Adam’s second hand wiped away the tears on my cheeks. “You’ve got a great friend there. It is from the
person you’ve been calling on my phone?”

  I patted his hand cradling my cheek. “It is. She’s been an amazing friend to me. More than I’ve been to her or deserve, but I won’t ever forget this. If she ever needs me in the future, I will be there for her.”

  “I’m sure you will be, but I can also say without knowing anything, I’m sure you’ve been a much better friend to her than you know.” He leaned forward and placed a kiss on the center of my forehead.

  He sat back with a soft smile on his face. “Oh, before I forget, some of the staff are getting together after work tonight, and I want you to come.”

  “But—” I started when I could finally catch my breath after his unexpected kiss.

  “But, nothing. It will be good for you to leave the hospital for a bit.” He stood and walked out of the alcove Chloe was in, calling over his shoulder, “I’ll meet you downstairs in the atrium at seven thirty.”

  I slid one hand under the blankets and back onto Chloe. I guess he was giving me no choice and I would be going out with him and some of the other staff. Now, I just had to figure out what to wear since my stepmother approved clothes did not fit the bill.

  I stepped off the elevator into the lobby, picking at the hem of my blouse. Chloe’s night nurse had taken one look at my ultra conservative jeans and blouse combo before pursing her lips and shaking her head. Within minutes, after receiving confirmation that I was wearing a cami under the blouse, she’d unbuttoned all the buttons down the front, tied the ends around my waist, and rolled up the sleeves on my arms. When she heard that I had a pair of kitten heels, she’d sent me back to my room to change into them, claiming the heels would look nicer with the straight legged jeans than the runners would.

  Even with her help, I knew these clothes didn’t match the sophistication or casualness of the others we would be meeting. I felt like a little girl who was playing dress up and trying to get others to believe.