Chapter: Eleven.
Next, I recall waking up in a in a strange room and in a strange bed. I was in a foreign place. I strained to focus in spite of the bright overhead lights and made out a woman's silhouette standing over me. As my eyes slowly adjusted, the woman smiled.
"Fisher, how ya feeling, doll?" she asked in a Southern Belle accent. Her voice felt soothing and I saw a white aura. I smiled, understanding I was safe.
"Better butter, am I in heaven? Are you an angel?" I said as a smile grew on my face.
"Oh," she blushed.
"Thank you kindly," then continued,
"Sweetheart, you were in an accident. You're in Saint Johns Hospital in Lebanon." I was alive and in my hometown.
"How long have I been out?"
"Bless your heart. I'll send in your family, they know as much as I do. Gimme a second," she winked, pinched my cheek, and turned to exit the room. Observing my surroundings, I saw a cop sitting in a fold up chair at the entrance to the room. (B96. Suicide watch.) Roughly two minutes later I saw my Mom, Step-Dad, Brother, and Sister rush into the room. My Mom cried hysterically and my Brother and Sister apparently happy to see me, with tears of joy in their eyes.
"Well, this must be my welcome home party, huh?" I said in a voice cracking with emotion as tears began to race down my face. My Mom nodded her head with a yes and bit her curled finger between her teeth. My brother Dallas and sister Amanda also began to cry.
"Well, it's kind of weak. I mean, as much as I hate to be negative Nancy, where's the music?" With that I broke the mood and their faces lit up, happy to see me in such good spirits. Seconds later my Dad and Step Mom entered the room. My Dad approached the bed wearing a joyous grin,
"Son, I'm supposed to go before you. Don't you know how that works?" He said. Bringing a smile to my face as I tried to suppress my tears. In realizing, I hadn't thought of the impact my irrational thinking could have brought. I reached up and gave all my family members hugs. I was genuinely happy to see them and newly glad to be alive.
I talked to everyone independently, and time flew by as we shared story after story of joyful times. I enjoyed having the company, not-to-mention having lived to see another day. It felt peaceful knowing that I had escaped a gravely different situation.
As the night went on, we heard a knock at the door. Everyone turned to and saw Comfort standing at the door. Instantly butterflies began to swarm in my stomach. She was in a simple, yet elegant skirt and her hair in bouncing curls. She wore a long sleeve wool jacket and a pair of low-top Chucks, with a scarf wrapped around her neck. The orchestra of angels once again played in my head, but the moment was interrupted by a beeping tone from the heart monitor. The alarmingly annoying beeping tone was accompanied with a number, revealing to all that I was officially excited and/or nervous. Talk about embarrassing, I blushed like a schoolboy as she entered the room. Her eyes filled with tears in reaction to the circumstance I was in, but she rushed toward me with her arms extended as we shared a loving embrace.
"I'm so sorry Fisher, its all my fault," she said, running her fingers through my hair.
"I love you, and I have decided to stay here in Lebanon with you."
Wiping my tears I replied,
"Whoa, whoa, squirrelverine. In a word, no. You are going to California," as my voice filled with emotion.
"You have to go to California, because I don't love you anymore," as the heart monitor sprang to life.
"Yeah, okay. I believe you spirit-boy." She sarcastically laughed as we stared into each other's eyes.
"Comfort, I have things I have to do as well that require me to . . . not be bogged down. I'm a ladies man, and there are ladies that need me. Plus, you're kind of suffocating me." Trying to sound cool or funny I hoped to help smooth the curves of the situation. She laughed and reached back to grab a chair to sit in, sliding it next to the bed.
"No, you have to go. I really need some time to finger out some things and who knows, maybe someday we can meet up again?" Beginning to cry, she reached for my hand and placed her palm in mine as she rested her head against my leg.
A few moments passed when her Brother appeared, standing at the door as he waved, then glanced to his watch.
"Comfort it's time, what have you decided?" he asked, sensing his urgent demeanor. Comfort turned to face him, held up her hand with her index finger extended and dried her eyes with her other hand.
"I'm coming, just another minute." she said as her Brother turned to walk away. She stood up out of the chair and gave me a long heartfelt hug. Seconds later she turned to exit the room, when she suddenly stopped at the door, turned and blew a kiss while mouthing the words, 'I love you.' Then she left.
Lying on my back, the floodgates had opened and tears streamed down my face. I stared out of the window as my mind raced. I felt burdened with emotional weight, realizing the gravity of the situation and that I would never be able to be with her. Also, that I would never feel as strongly or care as much about anyone as I did her. I subscribe to the tenet that if you love them let them go. You see, I myself am an old soul and I believe that you only feel true love once in this life, and that's if you're lucky. I wanted to be wrong regarding this matter, but felt I would never find someone equal to her. Minutes passed and my emotions were running amuck when I heard someone begin to clear their throat. I turned toward the door and saw Comfort standing there, squinting her eyes.
"Are you gay?" she asked, breaking the silence and instantly bringing a smile to my face. Staring into her eyes, I engraved her essence into my memory. Without speaking, she turned and walked away. Seeing her in pain, with her eyes bloodshot, swollen, and tears streaming, I felt a despair that words cannot express.
At that moment I couldn't help but use my talent, I looked down the hall and located Comfort. Her body language conveyed the impression of uncertainty. A once flourishing flower had begun to wilt. In an ever so fragile state she continued to walk down the corridor as if in a trance. She walked much slower than normal and hung her head as if she were counting her steps. It was a sad picture, knowing I had contributed to her saddened emotional state. Stepping into the elevator she immediately fell to the floor, curling her legs in tight next her body. She propped her arms on top of her legs and wept. Sharing her emotion and seeing her pain was unbearable. As the elevator arrived at the lower level Comfort stood and wiped away her tears. It was a somber moment as the elevator doors slowly opened. There stood an elderly couple accompanied by a grandchild patiently waiting for the elevator. They possessed tired bags under their eyes and shared the appearance of having not slept for some time. The older woman stared at Comfort then dropped her purse to the floor, realizing that this was an innocent young girl in great distress. She reached out and wrapped her arms around Comfort's neck, drawing her near. Processing the rarity of such a moment, Comfort buried her head on the lady's shoulder and closed her eyes as tears trickled off the tip of her nose. Seconds passed as the older lady began to tear up, while she lovingly patted Comfort on the back. When they released their embrace, Comfort smiled and stepped off the elevator, pausing momentarily while inhaling a deep breath. She proceeded to exit the hospital as her brother had pulled his car into the circular driveway in front. Comfort's brother exited his car and rushed toward her, sharing a loving embrace. Moments later, he guided her to the passenger side of the idling car. Shortly after they began to drive away. From my room I saw Comfort raise her hand as she gently placed her palm flat against the glass, looking up at the hospital while tears raced down her face. Feeling every emotion one can withstand, I could no longer hold back the tears. I wanted more than anything to be with her. I wanted more than anything to wake up and realize this had been a dream. It took every muscle in my body to keep from jumping out of bed and chasing her down. I couldn't bear to have her stay and loose the opportunity for her to chase her dreams. Trust me, I
wanted more than anything to love her. Staring out the window of my room with emotions running wild, I tried to convince myself that this was for the best.
Soon after, my family returned entering the room, now quiet and uncomfortable.
"Quit letting hookers in my room," I yelled, drying my eyes. They laughed, carrying on as if nothing had happened. That night while in the hospital, I swear by polka-dot-bikinis, I felt the presence of a guardian angel. I slept like a baby and saw not one Dark Sider. Then again, I was on some pretty wicked medicine that caused me to see purple elephants and dancing kangaroos, which knew me on a first name basis. So, who knows? I liked it a lot.
The following day I was released from the hospital and on my way home with my family. Overall, I felt great, extremely sore but great. Thankfully, the car that hit me had seen me in enough time to prevent a more serious collision. Well, I was going to be replacing a bumper, hood, and a cracked front windshield. But it could have been much worse than a few stitches, a couple scrapes, and bruised ribs. En route, my Step-Dad explained that he and my bromigo had gone to Columbia and packed my belongings, and were awaiting my arrival at home. I smiled, feeling genuinely happy. Shortly into the drive we arrived home, and it felt like the accident had never occurred. That is, apart from my Mom showering me with kindness and shadowing my every move. To me this was a bit scary and sad at the same slice of bread. Dallas and Amanda carried on with their lives as usual. Although, I felt selfish and sorry for them, knowing what I had put them through. It was like I could feel them wanting me to stay with them, to live with them. I realized that life was good, and I felt great. I now knew that no matter the circumstances, my family would always love me. It was reassuring, to say the least.
With my first day home dwindling away, I had dinner with the family and went to bed at a decent hour. Midway through the night, sound asleep, I heard Dallas yelling my name aloud. As I woke in a cold sweat, I sat up in bed and looked toward his room. To find him tossing and turning from what I assumed was a bad dream. Deciding to check on him I rolled out of bed, grabbing my crutches and hobbling up the stairs. With each step I felt pain from my recent injuries shoot through my entire body. When I arrived at his bedroom I slowly pushed open the door and found him fast asleep. I stared with contentment, seeing him in a deep sleep. I quietly turned around and saw something towering over me as I felt its breath against my skin. Startled, I knew it was game time. I didn't bother to acknowledge the Dark Sider. Instead, I nonchalantly reached for my marble, which I had accidentally left downstairs on my nightstand. Realizing I had nothing in my pocket, I looked back up. Unfortunately for me, it was yet another monster. It was definitely a Dark Sider, with fangs angled downward overlapping its bottom lip. It was tall, muscular, and excitedly breathing heavily. The skin of the creature was coarse, and it had a long prehistoric-looking snout. As the hair on my body began to stand at attention, a wave of terror flooded my veins. I looked at the creature's overbearing bug eyes as it bent down to smell me. Motionless, I witnessed it tilt its head back toward the ceiling and shake uncontrollably; exhibiting satisfaction in reaction to my smell. I slowly turned and took a step down the stairs. Turning back to look, the creature had entered Dallas' room and was now looming over his bed as Dallas gasped for air. Turning around one hundred and eighty degrees, I rushed to his room where the creature held something between its fingers. As I focused in I saw a gem of some kind, swaying back and forth inches above my brother's head. As Dallas struggled to breathe I rushed into the room as the creature stood and turned toward me. Adrenaline-driven and feeling no pain, in a moment of courage I dropped my crutches and charged the creature. Extending its right hand as if taunting me, I could see that the creature possessed large hands with long sharp claws. It now used one to extend the gem toward me. In midair and as a painting on a wall, I hung frozen, rendered incapable of any movement. I was paralyzed but tried forcefully to move as the creature stepped toward me. With an exertion of energy, I felt my heartbeat echo in my ears as I tried with every fiber in my body to move. Still suspended in midair, I defensively dangled as the creature approached and reached out with both hands, now wrapping them around my head. Its fingers ran through my hair as the creature positioned its thumbs over my eyes. At that moment I felt a sudden wave of nausea, along with an overwhelming blast of heat pass through my stiff body. Having felt what I can only describe as intense heat flashes, the creature moved its hands to the top of my head. I began to visualize things with my minds eye, much like a flash back, but a bit different.
I saw things no one should see. Things that would change the way we believe on many different levels. One of the things I saw was a timeline, which showed things from every civilization, of every time. It would be more than difficult to relay the different images that flashed in a frenzy. Seconds later, the flooding of images stopped and I witnessed a time and place where everyday people were divided into multitudes of lines. As seen before in our history, the people I saw were moving in one direction. People on horseback who wore masks were herding crowds of people like cattle, as if being driven to a slaughterhouse. It was apparent that all of this was occurring sometime in the future. Focusing on one of the riders looking out from behind a mask I saw the familiar red eyes. I then felt an intense spinning sensation and was instantly somewhere entirely different. Here, I saw ghastly beasts in the present day, relentlessly ravaging homes and showing no sign of mercy. I saw teenage kids being torn apart limb from limb in front of loved ones. Screams filled the air and echoed in my mind. The streets were in utter chaos. I then felt another spinning sensation and was back to the view of Dallas' room and able to move freely. I looked down at my body and saw that I was unharmed. Back in the flesh, but hold the spaghetti, something felt odd. Something felt off.
I scanned the room but nothing struck me as out of the norm. Everything in the house was as it should have been. But something still didn't feel right, and for the life of me I could not put my finger on it. It was like I was in my skin, but not myself, as if disembodied. Then I heard a scream coming from the general direction of Amanda's room and what I next saw left me mortified. I saw myself standing in her room, with a creature directly behind me extending the charm, as it dangled from its hand. Not wanting to believe my eyes, I clutched a kitchen knife in my hand. Am I under a spell? Was this even happening? As I began to focus, I observed Amanda in bed with her covers pulled up to her neck and looking up in horror. Her eyes were wide with shock and glossed over from fear. Then I saw my Step-Dad fly out of his bedroom and come barreling toward Amanda's room, where he violently swung open the door. My mother was tailing closely behind, grasping the top of her robe as she struggled to tie the waistband. As if in slow motion, I saw myself walking toward my sister in a robotic motion, with the knife angled to the ground. It wasn't natural movement, but forced. Here was the literal personification of the old adage: I don't know what possessed me. My Step-Dad, standing only a few feet away, had an expression on his face that I regret having seen.
"Drop the knife," he yelled as my Mom entered the room running. She jumped from six or seven feet out onto the bed, positioning herself between Amanda and I. Amanda, having pulled the covers up to her mouth, was trying to hide and trembled in fear as if I were the bogeyman. I took another step toward the bed, and as my Step Dad jumped he screamed,
"No! Stop!" My Mom closed her eyes, shaking her head no as I extended the blade of the knife. At that moment my Step Dad tackled me like in one of his college stories that I had heard for most of my life. Motionless, I watched in fear and felt relief rain over me. With my Mom struggling to pry off my Step-Dad, she jumped on top of me and began to slap my face, crying with each slap until she fell to the floor next to me.
I stood in Dallas' room, wondering what was real. Then I was able to move again, feeling like my normal self. I turned to look toward Amanda's room where she was sleepin
g peacefully, then looked to my parent's room where they did the same. Deciding to sit on the cold wood floor, I thankfully realized that this little vignette had not been real. I tried to fall asleep, but kept running in my head what I had seen.
The next day, I awoke to my Mother squatting next me, looking at me with concerned eyes. This is how she always looked at me, because anything I did she considered questionable to say the least.
"What are you doing up here, babe? Why don't you go lie down in your bed?" she asked, rubbing my back. The tone in her voice pained me. I looked up at her, not offended but more embarrassed, and smiled. I realized how awkward I must look lying on the floor. I stood up and stretched my arms to the sky, feeling that a solid night's rest had finally given me my much-needed sanity. I felt good, rested and alive. I felt better than I had in I don't know how long, perhaps weeks. I looked at my Mom who was smiling from ear to ear. I smiled and thought to myself, 'I was just glad I didn't do what I saw myself do last night.' I would rather be committed to a secure mental health facility, confined to a white padded room and fitted with a straight jacket, eating applesauce with a biodegradable plastic spoon, than to putt my family through something that horrific.
"What is everyone doing in my room?" Dallas moaned as he stretched out his arms, locking his legs.
"Get out. Leave me alone. I am not the one you want," he said for whatever reason as he pulled the covers over his head and rolled over onto his stomach.
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