Composing Love

by Ronni Meyrick

  Elizabeth grabbed her jeans, slipped her legs into the holes, and zipped up. “Well, now I’m asking. Please don’t bug me about this.” As she slid into the white t-shirt, her mind played back snippets of the argument she’d witnessed between Billy and Carlo. She couldn’t help but chuckle at the memory of the look on his face as Billy tore into him.

  “What’s so funny?” Jane called.

  She related the whole spectacle as she exited the partitioned modesty area and scooped perfumes, deodorant, makeup, and hairspray into her travel bag. They fell about laughing when she reached the part where Billy asked who Carlo had slept with to get the part.

  “He even had the nerve to threaten her career. Can you believe that guy?”

  Jane wiped her eyes. “He’s the worst tenor you’ve ever been paired with. I’ll ensure it never happens again.”

  “I was going to ask you to do exactly that. I’d love the opportunity to perform with Billy whenever I can. The passion the woman conducts with is bewitching and the sound the orchestra creates under her is mesmerizing.”

  Jane smirked and winked at her. “It doesn’t hurt that she practically oozes sex appeal. Damn, just watching her walk gets my motor running.” She fanned her face dramatically.

  Elizabeth had been studying her reflection in the mirror and messing with her hair, but when Jane spoke, her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. She whirled around.

  “Jane Bennett! Don’t tell me you’ve finally come to your senses about all the idiots you’ve been dating and crossed over to the ‘dyke side’?”

  “Oh, you cracked a funny.” Jane rolled her eyes, then grabbed her sides and moaned. “Oh no, they’re splitting.” She closed her eyes for a second and bit her lip. “I’ve done a little soul searching. I’m not ready to give up on men altogether, but the thought of being with a woman is more enticing with every second. I’ve always been attracted to both sexes, but never had the nerve to do anything about it. If you want to label it, I guess you could say I’m bisexual.” A single beat of silence ensued at her confession. “Anyway, you’re a fine one to talk about dating! You’re so far in the closet you’re skipping through the snow with the beavers and Aslan.”

  With a roll of her eyes, Elizabeth playfully kicked Jane in the foot. “Trust you to make a joke like that. Besides, it’s not like I hide the fact I’m a lesbian. The media just hasn’t picked up on it yet.” Elizabeth slipped her arms into the sleeves of her brown leather jacket. She paused. “I thought it might have come to light after the way Naomi behaved when we split up. I guess I was wrong.”

  A bitter taste coated her mouth at the mention of her ex-girlfriend. They’d been out to dinner at the Ivy when Elizabeth had mentioned they needed a trial separation. The relationship wasn’t going anywhere, and they were arguing most days, and a few of her prized ornaments had gotten broken after Naomi had thrown them at her. The scene in the restaurant wasn’t a pretty one, and Naomi had shot off like a rocket heading for Mars and caused a massive scene in front of a few hundred diners.

  The private executive security detail that stood at the doors of the elite restaurant had heard the commotion. They were more than happy to escort Naomi from the premises.

  I could’ve quite happily crawled under the table and waited for the place to empty. But I didn’t…I held my head up high and met everyone’s stares.

  Although news of the argument was all over the entertainment channels, nobody mentioned that Naomi was her lesbian lover.

  “I can understand you being a little reluctant to enter another relationship. But you’re not meant to walk this life alone, Lizzie. Women and men throw themselves at your feet constantly, yet you always go home alone.” She typed a couple of notes onto the iPad. “Aha! I’ve an idea!”

  Elizabeth let Jane run with whatever was in her head. It was futile to try and stop her when she was on a mission. She studied her friend closely, as if she could see the cogs in her mind turning.

  “I think I should start searching for somewhere you can go on holiday. What do you think?”

  Why does she bother asking when she’s obviously already searching for somewhere? “Okay, but before you get lost in that, can you please go and check the stage door so I can make a quick getaway?” Elizabeth’s shoulders slumped as she reached for her Louis Vuitton bag. Each performance took the good out of her. By the time the final day arrived, she was ready to drop from exhaustion, and all she craved at the end of the night was a long hot soak in a lavender bubble bath. Usually, whenever she was approached for an autograph she signed happily, but not today. She just wanted to get home and relax.

  Jane put her iPad in her bag and rose from the sofa to go and do Elizabeth’s bidding.

  While Elizabeth was alone, she did a quick search of the room to ensure she’d collected all her belongings. The few items she found, she slipped into the large suitcase of performance essentials. Jane entered the room while she secured the zip and dragged the case over to the rest of their bags on the red carpet by the door.

  “There’s nobody loitering. But you might want to wait ten minutes since there’s an ambulance blocking the exit.” Jane threw herself back down on to the sofa and examined her nails.

  “What’s happening? Please tell me Carlo hasn’t hit someone again.” Elizabeth rubbed her face with both hands. “Do you remember the time he punched that poor technician in Milan?”

  “Yes, I was surprised he wasn’t arrested.” Jane took her phone out and began tapping away at the keys. “It’s nothing to do with him—or, I’m pretty sure it isn’t, anyway. The medics are in Billy Christian’s dressing room.”

  Elizabeth jerked upright. She dashed for the door, her mind filled with images of Carlo assaulting Billy for the dressing-down she’d given him. I hope she’s okay.

  The magnolia walls blurred as she sprinted down the hallway to Billy’s dressing room. When she skidded to a stop at the bottom of the corridor, she tapped her knuckles rapidly against the soft pine door.

  She wrung her hands together while she waited. The sound of footsteps from inside forced her to straighten her shoulders. The door opened. But instead of seeing Billy or a paramedic, she was face-to-face with a woman with long chestnut hair. She took a step forward and peered over the woman’s shoulder into the room. “Hi, I’m Elizabeth Knight. Is Billy okay?”

  “I’m Vanessa Gale, Billy’s manager. It’s nice to meet you. Billy fainted soon after she came out of the pit. She’s still unconscious and her blood pressure is low, but the medics are checking her over now. I’ll know more once they’ve finished.” She took a step back. “Please, come in. I need to call her private doctor and ask him to meet us at the hospital.”

  Elizabeth took a small step into the room, but she stopped when her eyes landed on the tall, prone figure on the floor, surrounded by medics. One had a blood pressure cuff around Billy’s arm and the other was fitting a cannula into her wrist.

  One of the medics stepped away, which left a space open near Billy’s head. Elizabeth felt herself step forward, as though her body was moving of its own free will. She fell to her knees and picked up the clammy, pale hand, holding it softly between her own. “Oh, Billy, what’s happened to you?”

  Behind her, she heard Vanessa and the paramedics whispering, but she couldn’t let go of Billy to turn and hear what they were saying.

  “They want to take her to St Thomas.” Vanessa rushed around the small space and collected Billy’s belongings. “She’s been working too hard and not taking care of herself.”

  The hand in Elizabeth’s twitched and the grip tightened. It was accompanied by a loud moan. She leaned over and placed her palm on top of Billy’s head to check for a temperature. Billy’s eyelids fluttered open and her azure eyes bored into Elizabeth’s.

  A silly grin curled at the corners of Billy’s lips. “Beautiful,” she whispered. Her eyes slid shut once again.

  Elizabeth’s face turned hot.

  Vanessa’s chortle rang around the roo
m. “At least we know there’s nothing wrong with her eyesight.”

  One of the paramedics tapped Elizabeth on the shoulder. “Excuse me, Ms. Knight. We need to get Ms. Christian ready for transport.”

  Elizabeth patted the hand in hers. “Get better soon, Billy.” She stood and straightened her t-shirt. Vanessa was waiting by the door with Billy’s things. The roses she’d given her were safely away from the crush of bags. “Please tell her I was here and asking after her. Can you also make sure her flowers find their way into some water? I’d like for her to see them when she awakens. You never know, they might make her smile.”

  “I’ll be sure to take care of it when I know where she’ll be spending the night.” Vanessa took a step to her right so she could pass. “Thank you for coming to check on her.”

  As Elizabeth strode out of the dressing room, she saw Jane waiting for her with all of her belongings.

  “My car’s outside.” Jane took her keys out of her pocket and held her arm out, indicating Elizabeth should go first. “What happened in there?”

  “I’ll tell you when we’re on the way to my apartment. I think poor Billy is in for a night of being used as a pin cushion at the hospital.” She lowered her head and hid her face as they walked out of the door. As soon as she saw Jane’s white Lexus, she ran over to the passenger door and jumped inside.

  I hope Billy’s going to be okay.

  ***

  “You’re mad! I can’t believe you’ve done this!” Vanessa threw her hands up in the air and turned away. “What possessed you to discharge yourself from the hospital? They advised you to stay overnight for observation. It’s four o’clock in the morning. Would a few extra hours have been so bad?”

  Billy popped one of the pills her private doctor had prescribed and chased it back with some water. “You know how much I hate those places. They smell like antiseptic, bleach, and sometimes an occasional whiff of vomit. I’ll be more comfortable here at the hotel. I promise to have a lie in tomorrow and not do anything strenuous.” She downed the rest of the bottle of water and put it in the bin. “Besides, I’ve had something to eat and the IV got my fluid levels back to normal, so my blood pressure is coming up. As of tomorrow, I’m going to reorganise my routine. I need to start exercising more, cut down on the amount of coffee I drink, eat properly, and get a decent amount of sleep. Once I’ve got it all under control, I’ll be able to come off of the medication.”

  Vanessa huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “Until the next time your schedule gets away from you! Stop taking extra jobs on top of the ones I’ve planned. If someone wants your expertise, tell them to come to me. After all, it’s what you pay me for.”

  Billy held her hands up and walked towards her friend. She grasped her shoulders and bent at the knees to look into her eyes. “If I promise to go on a brief holiday, will you please stop nagging me?”

  “Yes, but there’ll be nothing brief about it. You’ll take at least two weeks, non-negotiable.” Vanessa hesitated. She bit her bottom lip and worried it between her teeth. “I know you’re not going to like this, but there’s something else you need to face.”

  Billy clenched her jaw. “Please don’t do this n—” Her grip loosened and Vanessa squirmed away from her touch.

  Billy staggered over to the bed and sat down heavily. Her vision blurred with unshed tears.

  “I’m sorry, but you need to start dealing with Katie’s death. You’ve been working yourself to the bone to stop yourself from thinking about her. But it’s not working. If you need help, I can find you a grief counsellor to talk with.” She took a step toward Billy. “Please, Bill, you’ve got to do something to help yourself out. I think the only time I saw you shed any tears was after the service of remembrance last year, when you conducted ‘Katie’s Piece’ for the first time.”

  Billy buried her face in her hands. The music echoed around in her mind. When she’d picked up her pencil and a fresh pad of music paper to compose it, the notes seemed flow from her, out of her soul. They expressed everything her best friend meant to her, the happiness she felt to have her in her life, and the deep, gut-wrenching sorrow and loss of her parting. “I’m frightened. What if I open the flood gates and can’t ever shut them again? What will I do then?”

  “That’s why we’re going to get you some help. I know you and Katie had been friends since you were three years old. But, honey, she knew what she was signing up for when she joined the army. There’s never a guarantee given when you enlist, and she knew the dangers. She was taken from you all far too soon. But you have other friends around you who want to help, and none of us can bear to see you like this. Please, let me help you.”

  Billy’s head jerked as though she’d been slapped. “I’m dealing with this the only way I know how!”

  “Well find another way!” She stomped across the carpet and thrust her finger in Billy’s face. “It’s. Not. Natural!” She threw her arms in the air and walked away. She took a couple of deep breaths. “Please, Billy, we’re worried about you. Let me take care of your schedule and clear you for at least six months off.”

  “There’s no way I’d be able to take off for that long. What would I do about money?” Billy flipped her shoes across the room, ripped her socks off, and buried her feet in the velvety softness of the deep pile of the carpet.

  Vanessa grabbed her briefcase. She dug around for a moment and then pulled out a folder. She handed it to Billy “You’ve been working like a demon and have had no living expenses for the last two years. Your meals and accommodation have been paid for by the venues you’ve been performing at. All the payments you’ve received have been building up. Plus, I’ve been managing your investments and stocks. They’ve accumulated interest steadily over the last two years. With the numbers on the sheets in there,” she pointed to the folder, “you could afford to retire now and live comfortably for the rest of your life.”

  Billy flipped the folder open and stared down at the statement that was on top of the stack of papers. Her eyes bulged, threatening to pop right out of their sockets. She shook her head from side to side and tried to comprehend the numbers.

  “I’ve been trying to tell you for months about all of this. But you’ve always had something else going on. The minute we sit down to have a meeting you’re called away.” Vanessa placed her hand on top of hers. “Finish the score you’re working on for the movie, and then take some time off. Give it a couple months and then we can revisit the topic of your schedule.”

  “I... How did you manage this?” I could do whatever I wanted now. Buy a house or an apartment in the city, or have a house built near my parents’ place. Damn, what am I going to do with all this money? She’s right, I can take the time off I need to help me recover. With a sigh of resignation, Billy stood and enveloped her friend in a hug. “Thank you for always having my back, even though I know I can be a royal pain in the arse.” She stepped back and ran her fingers through her short dark locks. “I think I’ll go and visit my parents and Aunt Sarah. The film score needs another couple of days’ work and I can do that while I’m there.” Her mind went to her mint condition British racing green John Cooper Works Mini Cooper convertible. It was stored in Vanessa’s garage for safekeeping. Her entire wardrobe of clothes was there too, so she didn’t have to haul around unnecessary luggage. She simply changed her clothes out whenever she needed and did her laundry at Vanessa’s before she went anywhere new. “Can I come over in the morning to get my car and some clothes?”

  “Sure, and before you leave you’ll need to call your mother. The last time you turned up on the doorstep unannounced I got the blame for keeping you too busy. Diane is as sweet as can be, but you don’t want to get her mad.” Vanessa poked her tongue out at Billy and collected her things. “Get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Billy escorted her to the door. Before she opened it, she wrapped her arms around Vanessa once again and kissed her on the forehead. “Thank you for looking after me all these yea
rs.” Tears shimmered in her eyes as she let Vanessa out of the room.

  Once alone, she let her weariness overtake her. After sending a quick text to her parents about visiting, she stumbled into the bathroom, leaving a trail of clothes in her wake. While she showered, she recalled the day Vanessa told her she could use one of her and her husband’s six bedrooms to store her things in. The rental prices in London were so high. Billy stayed on her own so rarely that there was no sense in paying exorbitant amounts of money for a glorified storage facility. From that moment five years ago, when Vanessa and Steve made the offer of a room, it had been her home in the city.

  Out of the kindness of their hearts, they’d also been keeping her car. It had been part of the payment she’d received for composing the score for an international Mini Cooper advertisement.

  I can’t wait to drive my baby again. Perhaps Ness is right. I need to get open road underneath the tyres and get out of London for a while. The quiet Sussex countryside and beaches will help me relax.

  Chapter Three

  When the cab dropped her off at Vanessa’s the next morning, Billy was greeted by the sight of her precious Mini Cooper parked in the driveway. The black tarmac around it was wet and the lingering residue of white, fluffy soap suds ran down the road toward a drain.

  The green paint glistened. The sun highlighted the speckled silver and brown glitter that had been mixed in.

  Both front and back gardens were fenced off with lush green Leylandii hedges that had to be at least six feet tall. Large off-cuts of the dense fir trees lay on the ground. Their limbs created a heavy cut-wood fragrance, with an undertone of pine.

  From the rear of the house, she could hear the sound of an electric hedge trimmer. When the machine fell silent, she picked up the sound of her friend’s stern voice barking out orders, quickly followed by the typical teenage groans of Ashleigh and Harley, Vanessa’s children.