Heroes of Last Resort (The Other Guys Book 1)

by JK Galioto

  “Hey Billy, Theo is already in the back prepping for your D&D session. Let me know if you need another player today and I will join you.” Feeling generous, he added, “And I’ll even play the cleric!” Spoiler alert: Jack loathed playing the cleric, but he knew a cleric was essential to a good party, and a good party made for more fun for everyone. He would make the sacrifice with no regrets. Okay, maybe with just a little regret.

  “Thanks, Jack, will do! By the way, I dinged fifth level last week and can’t wait to cast me some fireballs,” Billy said with an impish grin, walking toward the back of the store. Jack shook his head and clicked the close icon on his web browser, leaning back in his stool. Kids like Billy made it all worth it; he honestly hoped they would need another player today. The money problems could wait. He could flip the open sign to closed and lose himself in the fantasy world for a few hours.

  Moving to grab his dice, he caught sight of his thirty-year-old light purple twenty-sided die, the corners worn from years of gaming. He had played thousands of hours with that die; it had been the instrument of his fate in so many games, and his conduit for engaging with the unexpected. It reminded him of all the adventures he’d shared with his friends.

  He was jolted out of his contemplation by a low rumbling that felt like the beginning of the Airwolf theme song. Standing up, he moved to look out the window in the front of the shop. Amazed, he witnessed a helicopter landing in the parking lot. Not something you see every day. Dust, dirt, and gravel kicked up as the helicopter landed smoothly, sunlight glinting off the windshield and blades. As the helicopter engine continued to idle, he saw none other than his brother, Chad, hop out of the helicopter and make his way toward the store’s front entrance.

  Jack was truly shocked, not only at the helicopter, but at who had arrived. He hadn’t seen his brother in years, but he looked roughly as Jack remembered. When Chad was a kid, he was a butterball, but military discipline had shaped his body, and Jack noted that even though Chad was in his mid-forties, there still wasn’t an ounce of fat on his tall, lanky build, although his deep brown, close-cropped hair was beginning to grey and thin on top, which brought a smile to Jack’s face. At least that’s one thing I have over my brother. He ran his hand through his thick, curly, chestnut brown hair.

  The army kept Chad busy and there wasn’t much of a reason for him to come back to this podunk town, especially because Chad and Jack had never really seen eye to eye. Every visit and conversation eventually ended up with Chad telling him to get his life together. Not much changed in Merrill, while Chad was always on his grand army adventures. For Jack, time seemed to stand still in this town of bars, soul-sucking factory jobs, and churches.

  Chad exited the helicopter and strode purposefully toward his brother’s gaming shop, military-grade sunglasses protecting his eyes from the dirt and dust spinning in the air. The bell on the door rang as it swung inward, and Chad walked into the shop.

  * * *

  Eyeballing the scene in the oversized gaming shop, with its aisles and aisles of books, comics, cards, board games, role-playing games, dice, miniatures, and every other assorted gaming need, Chad’s thoughts returned to Jack’s wasted potential. His kid brother was intelligent and charismatic; Chad had tried to convince him to join the army as a scout or join a different government agency. With Chad’s connections, he could have found something Jack enjoyed. However, those conversations never went anywhere and usually ended with Chad yelling at him, or in a not-quite-friendly wrestling match. Only irony could dictate he would once again ask Jack to join the military, although this time the stakes were much higher.

  “Hello, Brother,” Chad stated more formally than he’d intended.

  “Bro!” Jack exclaimed, moving over toward the door and giving Chad a big hug, clearly still not believing who was standing in his game shop. “Holy crap! Ten points to Gryffindor just for the quality of that entrance!”

  Chad hugged his brother tightly in return before letting go, removing his sunglasses, and taking a step back to look Jack over. His brother had changed little in the three years since he last visited. Standing at five foot nine, he looked like the middle-aged man that he was. Fat clung to his body like an alcoholic clinging to the last glass of scotch before closing time, and he still sported a noticeable beer gut, which didn’t surprise Chad in the slightest. There wasn’t much to do in Merrill besides drink, and he was sure his idiot brother was still in that ridiculous band that barely covered their own bar tab. While Jack wasn’t exactly fat, gone was the lean, athletic body of his youth. But dammit, his curly brown hair is magnificent! He unconsciously brought his hand to his own thinning hair with a rueful smile and forced himself back to the conversation he wished he didn’t need to have.

  “It’s been too long, Jack,” Chad said. “You’re looking . . . umm, good. I wish I could say I was here on vacation just to see my favorite little brother, but somehow, I don’t think you would believe me,” he said, grinning brightly and nodding toward the helicopter.

  “Yeah, I figured they don’t loan helicopters out for personal visits. It isn’t that I’m not happy to see you, but why the heck are you here? Did you get promoted to general and fly on over to good old Merrill just to show off to your nerdy brother?” Jack asked, his eyes shifted to Chad’s crisp, dark green uniform.

  “I can explain on the way, but the army needs your help. I need your help. Hell, it wouldn’t be an overstatement to say the world needs your help,” Chad implored, looking Jack in the eyes, his expression somber. “Something . . . unusual is happening in Alaska, and I am hoping you can give me your take on it.”

  Jack stared at Chad in disbelief. “Okay, Brother, where are the cameras? You almost had me. I haven’t seen you in three freaking years and you show up in a helicopter and tell me you need me to save the world? I may be gullible, but even I am not falling for this one. As Grandpa used to say, that is some grade-A horse dumplings.”

  “I am serious as a heart attack which, by the way, is what is going to happen to you if you don’t shape up,” Chad replied abruptly. “I know it’s a lot to take in, but I’m . . . we’re on a timeline. I can fill you in on the way,” he finished, staring intently at Jack for a long moment before walking back toward the door and the waiting helicopter. “The army frowns upon the use of government resources being used for practical jokes. I’m asking as your brother.” With that, he stepped outside.

  * * *

  Jack’s usual quick wit failed him, and he continued staring after Chad, dumbstruck. Finally, he decided to trust his brother. Besides, maybe this gig actually paid? “Hang on!” he shouted before heading back to his desk. He quickly called Jimmy, one of his part-time workers, and let him know he was taking a much-needed vacation with his brother—yes that brother that always nags him—and asked if he could watch the shop in his absence. When the affirmative reply came back, he gathered a few things into his backpack and let Billy and Theo know he was leaving but Jimmy was on his way and, as an afterthought, that the cleric offer was off the table.

  How exactly was an out of shape, forty-one-year-old man who acted more like a kid than adult going to do something the entire United States Army could not? Jack shook his head, pondering the question as he began jogging toward the helicopter, already out of breath.

  Once in the air, Chad filled Jack in on the little he knew about the portal, explaining his theory about the portal being an entrance to another world, one in which myths and legends could be real. Jack watched his brother closely during his story, and the pain of him losing his troops was carved on the worry lines of his face and the tremble in his voice. Any novelty from being in a helicopter was soon replaced with a sense of dread.

  “You want me to go through the portal? Why me?” he asked after Chad completed his narrative of the events that had led him to this point. “What can I do that dozens of soldiers couldn’t?”

  “I know it sounds crazy, but I believe the minds of my men were too rigid and unaccepting of t
he strange reality they found on the other side of that portal. My hope is that your mind is more malleable and open to whatever mythical weirdness is on the other side. Normally I wouldn’t ask you to take this kind of risk, but there is a strange EMP field growing from the portal and if we don’t figure out something soon, it could be the end of our world as we know it.”

  “Crazy? Crazy is the time you asked Jeanette Hughes to the winter dance the day after she dumped her giant, offensive lineman boyfriend. This is getting naked, howling at the moon, and eating raw chicken insane,” Jack said under his breath. Speaking louder into the helicopter headset he said, “I always have your back, Bro.” He had nothing to lose, and this sounded like a grand adventure. Then an idea occurred to him. “You know, with me being gone, I will need to pay for extra help, and the shop expenses are sure to take a hit.”

  Chad gave Jack a sly grin and casually mentioned, “I have been authorized to pay you five thousand dollars a week, and a bonus if and when you deal with this issue, commensurate with the help you provide.”

  Jack brought his hands together, and in his best Mr. Burns impression, whispered, “Excellent.” Inwardly, he was dancing. Five thousand dollars was more than his shop made in two months, and he would get it each week. Oh yeah!

  “Wait a second! Just how long will I be gone?” Jack asked, squirming in his seat. “A week or two away from the shop can be managed, but longer than that will require me to make other arrangements. And I have a D&D session with my high school buddies in three weeks that I do not want to miss!”

  “I can’t believe how little you’ve changed over the years. You’re embarking on a quest to save the world and you’re fixated on your little shop of sorcerers, and gaming with your eccentric friends? Either way, you’ll be finished and back in Merrill before too long.” Chad seemed doubtful and Jack almost asked him for a bluff check but thought better of it; he didn’t want to push his strangely somber brother.

  They sat in silence until they arrived at an airstrip outside of Mosinee, a small town boasting the only real airport in north central Wisconsin. Waiting for them was a large camouflaged jumbo-sized jet that looked like it could carry multiple tanks, jeeps, and other vehicles if needed. “Woah, why is that huge jet here? It looks like a normal sized airplane got hungry and ate all of the weaker airplanes!”

  Chad flashed another grin, clearly happy to impress his brother. “It’s a C-5 Galaxy. It was the only thing I could get on short notice, so you could say it’s here for you. Now let’s get inside; as Grandpa used to always say, ‘sooner started, sooner finished.’ Besides, I can use this time to give you additional details on what’s going on,” Chad said, performing a fast walk away from the helicopter and toward the supersized jet. Jack almost had to jog to catch up. Chad sat down and strapped himself in, then motioned for Jack to do likewise. There were a couple of soldiers already in the plane, and they gave Chad a quick salute, which he reciprocated.

  “At ease, Gentlemen. I would like you to meet my little brother, Jack. Jack, meet Clark and Justin, two of the most incompetent aides you’re ever likely to meet.” With that, the pair laughed at the good-natured jape.

  “Hey fellas,” Jack said jovially as he looked them over. They were both in their mid-twenties with sharp angular features, but that’s where the comparison stopped. Justin was tall with dark black skin, thick, coarse hair the color of coal, and intense brown eyes. Clark, meanwhile, was a good head shorter, with pale skin and fine sandy blonde hair that stood on end due to an unfortunate cowlick. Like Chad, they looked to be in great shape, with no fat on them that he could see. Why am I the only fat one? He sighed, looked down at his gamer/drinker’s body, and gave an involuntary frown.

  “Hi Jack,” Clark said, grabbing and shaking his hand.

  “Welcome aboard,” Justin said, extending his hand as well. Jack grabbed Justin’s hand and shook it before dropping his hands back to his side, plopping into a seat, and strapping himself in.

  Jack made small talk with the young men for a few minutes, falling into an easy banter despite being nearly the polar opposite of the disciplined, order-following soldiers. He noticed Chad start to doze off and decided it wouldn’t be a bad idea to catch up on his sleep as well; it had been a late night with his band at the Northway Club. But unfortunately, sleep wouldn’t come. Instead, he decided to use his time more productively by giving the two young soldiers a list of everything he wanted to take with him through the portal so they could have it ready for him when he landed. He wasn’t sure where they would find Big League Chew gum, but he had faith in them. After all, the fate of the world depended on it.

  About eight hours and another helicopter trip later, they were staring at the doorframe, looking at the strange etchings carved on it. The cool autumn air whisked through the meadow, pulling gently at Jack’s hair. His hands went involuntarily to his head, but more from an expression of shock at seeing this in person than to keep his curly locks in place. Grass had grown up around the portal and was entwining itself along the frame.

  Staring at the portal, Jack’s imagination went into overdrive. Would there be elves, hobbits, trolls, and dragons? He shifted uncomfortably in the new military fatigues he had received upon arrival: stiff pants, a shirt, iron-toed boots, and even a green cap. Chad had wanted to give him guns, but Jack talked him out of it. Instead, he had requisitioned a compound bow since he rarely used guns and had over thirty years of experience bow hunting with Grandpa. Besides, from what Chad had told him, he was highly skeptical that guns or any other technology was going to work in the portal world. It just didn’t feel right, and he had learned long ago to trust his instincts.

  Jack took a long moment to study Chad’s face, noting the lines of worry and doubt that plagued it. “Look, Bro, I know you’re worried about me. And you probably should be. I have no idea what kind of mess awaits me on the other side. But the entire reason you are sending me through the portal and not more soldiers is because you need to think differently, so let’s do this my way. As I told your boys on the plane, basic clothing, MREs, backpack, knife, a bow, and walking stick are all I require,” Jack stated in a tone that brooked no argument.

  “So, let me get this straight. You’re going into a world full of dangerous creatures with caveman gear? I don’t get it, but honestly, I don’t get much of this.”

  “One more thing,” Jack added. “Get me some pen and paper. I’m not sure how communication on the other side is going to work, but I’ll try to send notes back through the portal if, you know, I am still alive and not looney tunes mental,” he said, giving his brother a crazy, lopsided grin.

  This close to the portal, he felt a slight energy flowing around it, accompanied by an almost-inaudible buzz. It reminded him of an electric fence. Note to self, don’t take a leak around this thing. He started pacing, full of nervous energy, as Justin finally brought him a canvas backpack full of what he assumed was food and the other items he had requested. He also handed Jack a bow, a sheathed knife, and an oaken five-foot-tall walking stick. Where the heck did they find that? Army-issued shillelagh?

  “It’s not too late to back out. I am sure we can find someone else,” Chad whispered, clearly having second thoughts and looking worried as the moment of truth approached.

  “And miss all the fun?” Jack responded jovially, trying to lighten the mood. “Listen, bro, I know you think I am a man-child who never commits and doesn’t take anything seriously. But I grew up watching you serve our country, fighting in multiple wars and leading thousands of men. I finally have a chance to do something that can help our entire planet, and I’m going to take it. You’ve given me something I didn’t know I was missing: purpose. Now step aside, Broheim, and let me do this!” Jack hugged Chad before turning toward the portal and walking through.

  Chapter 2

  Jack stepped through the portal and into a large meadow framed by a variety of trees, including many that he recognized from his time with the forestry service. It looked and
felt like the same early fall weather he left on earth, and the light of the sun was just starting to make its way onto the horizon. But the weather was not what drew his attention; in the middle of the meadow, sitting on a large, fallen oak tree, sat an unmoving Tony Danza. Young Tony Danza, from the mid-eighties television show Who’s the Boss? Jack grew up watching that show religiously when he was a kid. After his parents died, Tony became a father figure, Angela a mother, and Samantha a sister—okay, maybe more like a hot stepsister. He had watched hundreds of hours of the show, and it had gotten him through some tough times.

  Jack rubbed his eyes and looked again at Tony Danza, shaking his head in disbelief. Cautiously moving forward, he extended a trembling hand and poked Tony in the arm, feeling lean muscle under his touch. He had worked for a few months at Madam Tussauds wax museum in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, but this looked and felt way more real.

  “Ay, oh, oh ay,” Tony exclaimed, coming to life with his thousand-dollar smile. At the same time, Jack noticed an icon in the shape of a spinning head in the lower left part of his vision. What in the Nine Hells is happening? Did the trip through the portal addle my brains? Grandpa always told me the reefer would drive me mad; or is this the start of a nervous breakdown, maybe a stroke? Is this how all those soldiers died? His mind moved a thousand miles a minute, and he thought he could hear Dana Carvey’s impersonation of Johnny Carson saying, “Now this is some weird, wild stuff.” He nervously glanced at the icon and a message appeared.

  You are stunned for five seconds.

  Along with the message was a countdown timer that ticked its way toward zero. The shock and awe of seeing icons and messages appearing in his vision and witnessing his childhood hero come to life was too much to bear. Jack wanted to reach out and give Tony a hug, then realized that he could not move. At that moment, the theme song to Who’s the Boss? began playing in the meadow, forestalling his building panic. There’s more to life than what you’re living, you take a chance and face the wind . . .