Heroes of Last Resort (The Other Guys Book 1)

by JK Galioto

  “Welcome, Jack. You are the only human to survive the transition to Rigara and not reject this reality or have their head explode like an overripe watermelon! Finally, Earth has a champion to defend it!” he exclaimed, clearly excited. In a blink of an eye, he was staring at Tom Skerritt from Top Gun. “Your ego wrote a check that your body can cash!” Just as fast, he was back to Morpheus.

  “Now that I’ve become a real boy, can you tell me what the heck is going on?” Jack replied in his best Pinocchio voice, slowly getting back on his feet.

  “As I mentioned earlier, I am limited in what I can tell you. I am bound by the Marik Accord, like all my kind. However, here is what I can say. The world of Rigara contains multitudes of peoples, using the term ‘peoples’ loosely. On Rigara, the largest continent, Cornado, lies across a vast body of water from here, and it is currently under attack by the Ravanan, an ambitious reptilian race of powerful warriors, clerics, and magic users. The continent you stand on is named Lyran.

  “In the distant past, on the Ravanan home world, their race discovered an ancient magic that allowed the creation of portals to other worlds. Since then, the Ravanan Empire has focused solely on expanding their territory through conquest. Once they conquer a world, they mine it to near extinction and then move on to their next conquest. Once a new portal has begun powering up, it usually indicates that their work on their current world will conclude within a year. If history repeats, the portal on your world will emit what you would call an electromagnetic pulse that will continue to grow until it spreads over your entire planet, knocking out all technology, communications, and power. After your world falls into chaos, Earth will be easy prey for the Ravanan,” Morpheus finished his explanation, then let out a long breath.

  “How can I hope to stop an army of reptilian beings? How can anyone?” Jack asked despairingly. “You seem powerful. Can you help save my world?”

  “I must abide by the Accord. I can share the situation with you, but I am not allowed to aid you directly. I have done what I can do behind the scenes and will continue to do so. Unfortunately,” Morpheus continued, and Jack braced himself for more bad news, “you have two additional things going against you. One, the portal can only teleport a limited number of people from Earth to Rigara; like fools, your leaders wasted precious charges sending soldiers that couldn’t adapt to this world, until the portal was nearly used up by your teleportation. The other issue is time; your world squandered far too much time before successfully sending its champion to Rigara. You gave the Ravanan Empire a head start in cementing their hold on this world, although they do not yet have full control.”

  Jack stared at Morpheus, mouth agape. Talk about kicking someone when they were down. This seemed far worse than when Jack challenged Brian Nelson to a fight after school for picking on Fidvi, his best friend in the fifth grade. He had no chance of winning then, and he couldn’t see how he would win now. Jack had never had this type of responsibility thrust upon him. He was just a small town nobody whose biggest accomplishment to date was getting to second base with future Wisconsin Beauty Queen Runner-Up Kim Thorger in eighth grade; how could he be expected to single-handedly thwart the takeover of Earth by an alien race? Cracks were starting to appear in Jack’s calm demeanor.

  Morpheus looked at Jack’s crestfallen face, unusual for the typically jovial man. He continued in a more hopeful tone, “Fear not, my young padawan, all is not lost. You must find the sources of magic that are powering the portal and stop them before they destroy your Earth. You must also find items called portal pearls, which can power the portal. For each pearl found, you may bring in another member of your Earth race to help in the fight.” Looking around conspiratorially, he softened his voice to a whisper. “I might be bending the rules a bit, but heck, you need the help. Take this,” he said, handing Jack what looked like a lodestone on a piece of string. “This will help direct you to the pearls, although you need to be within a couple of miles for the magic to work.”

  Jack pocketed the string and lodestone while dialogue boxes appeared in his vision.

  Quest Offered: “Save Earth.” Repeatable. Find the sources of the magic causing the EMP pulses and stop them. Do this before it destroys all technology on Earth. Reward: 10,000 experience, 1,000 gold for each node stopped. Reduce growth of the pulse on Earth for each node stopped. 1 unique item from Mandrake when all nodes are shut down. Reputation with Mandrake +1,000. Accept? Yes or No.

  Quest Offered: “Pearls for Portal.” Repeatable. Find portal pearls and bring them back to the portal. Reward: 250 experience, 250 gold. Ability to bring another Earthling through the portal for each pearl found. Accept? Yes or No.

  Not really having a choice, Jack accepted both quests. It was becoming increasingly clear to him that he would need more “champions” from Earth if he was going to stand a chance against the Ravanan Empire. He thought he knew just the guys.

  “Anything else I should know?” he asked, turning briefly to grab his backpack.

  “I told you as much as I am able.” Shapeshifting into Gandalf, he said in a harsh whisper, “Now fly, you fool!” And then he was just . . . gone.

  * * *

  Sitting on a branch of a large oak tree near the clearing, Mandrake looked down on Jack. He changed from his Gandalf form to the form of Dungeon Master. The three-foot-tall gnomish creature with a red robe was one of his favorites. He had used most of his remaining power to allow Earth to send champions through the portal into Rigara, and his frustration level had risen to an all-time high when the Earthlings wasted that energy by sending in people that clearly could not or would not accept the change. He’d given up hope until he saw Jack come through the portal; his adaptable mind had easily withstood the changes needed to adjust to this world. Time would tell if his physical body could withstand the enemies he would be forced to face.

  Although the Marik Accord stopped him from using his powers directly to help Jack, he had done what he could. The Ravanan Empire had conquered countless worlds, their need to bring order to the universe driving their insatiable appetites. With each world they conquered, they became more powerful. Mandrake feared this represented the last chance to stop the reptilian race…and he’d pinned all his hopes on an out of shape, forty-one-year-old man-child from Earth.

  Letting out a deep sigh, he teleported away.

  Interlude: Ravanan Empire

  Will these fools ever finish? The imposing reptilian sat adjacent to the head of the unadorned and slightly worn council chamber table. Though larger than his peers, he was still within standard deviation set forth in the Ravanan Conformity Statutes. He sat emotionless, visibly giving his attention to his so-called superior, who had called this daily gathering to order.

  Having personally double-checked the latest figures received earlier in the morning from the scout team, he knew exactly how this meeting would play out. Pol-Hatou, head overseer of the Ministry of War, would stare intently at the report, scouring it for inconsistencies. He would then reach the same conclusion that Dan-Jae had taken only moments to find—the efficiency of the Ravanan force, as calculated by the Great Ravanan Conclave generations ago, maintained the coveted ninety-nine percent plus rating. Pol-Hatou would announce the latest figures with a smug smile on his slightly chubby face and certify them. The council would then rise and gleefully give him a standing ovation. The head overseer would offer some standard final platitudes and send the group on its way with a proverbial pat on the back.

  Dan-Jae watched the scene play out as it did every day; at least, every day that an official report was presented to the council. This largely ceremonial procedural meeting had become Dan-Jae’s life now. Originally from the ranks of the Ravanan infantry, he’d risen in the military hierarchy through a series of brutally efficient victories, where his quick thinking had saved the empire from taking unneeded losses. Now in the position of lead auditor of Her Majesty Empress Rickkan Burrockvi’s Ministry of War’s Council of Elders—clearly, an efficiency in war d
id not translate to an efficiency of words—he held a fair amount of influence in the empire’s immense war machine.

  Due to their vast military experience over many campaigns spanning the multiverse, the Ravanan species had honed conquest down to its purest form: a numbers game. With a rigid battle code, the algorithm for victory on a massive scale had been perfected long before Dan-Jae even hatched. He no longer faced his enemies physically, but waged war with the finely honed edge of Ravanan’s sacred guide, the Spreadsheet. Secretly, he longed to topple the hierarchy of fools above him, but that would take time, and planning.

  After returning to his office, Dan-Jae focused on another pressing matter. While analyzing the report, he’d found the barest hint of an anomaly, something well within statistical tolerances, but of concern for the empire. Of the many worlds they were currently incubating for future expansion, this one was a statistical outlier. He could not risk his position or reputation on something slowing the progress of planetary expansion.

  According to the portion of the report he’d kept from the council at large, world A4Z-229 exhibited unusual portal activity. Actively in the process of magiforming the world in question, this portal showed signs of extra-transitory ingress, something deemed, if not impossible, extremely unlikely. It seemed something, or multiple somethings, had made their way to the system the locals called Rigara. This was probably innocuous, but Dan-Jae decided that, in order to maintain his impeccable service record, an off-the-books maintenance team needed to be dispatched to the portal at once. Reaching for a circular pendant, he said into it, “I need an audit team ready for dispatch. Recall Zulu Team and have them redeployed at once.”

  Chapter 4

  Jack stared, dumbfounded, at the spot where Gandalf stood moments before. He knew in his gut he would meet that strange being again, if he survived long enough. Wondering where to begin, he noticed three flashing icons in the corner of his vision. Mentally clicking on the first one, a semitransparent dialogue box opened in the middle of his vision.

  You have learned the open locks skill. You gain a +17 bonus to this skill based on prior experience.

  You have attained beginner rank in the skill open locks. You can now open beginner-ranked locks. In addition, you may choose one of the following perks:

  Fast Open 1: Reduce the time it takes to open locks by 25%.

  Improvised Tools 1: Reduce the penalty to open locks without thieves’ tools by 25%.

  Jack reviewed his options. The perks appeared in bubbles, and he saw what appeared to be skill trees branching to many other unreadable bubbles from these two choices in a cornucopia of options. Thinking that in most instances speed wouldn’t be an issue, Jack chose Improvised Tools 1. He reviewed the next flashing icon.

  You have learned the dual wield skill. You gain a +13 bonus to this skill based on prior experience. You have attained beginner rank in dual wield. Your attacks will be 1% faster for each point in dual wield. In addition, you may choose one of the following perks:

  Two Weapon Defense 1: Increases chance to parry attacks against you by 10% when wielding two weapons.

  Two Weapon Attack 1: Increases chance to critical hit with weapons by 5% when wielding two weapons.

  Dual Attack 1: Use 10 stamina to execute a dual attack. Chance to hit with both weapons is increased by 50% for this attack. Attempts to block or parry this attack are reduced by 50%. Cooldown: 15 seconds.

  Jack reviewed the options before him, wondering if he should go with a passive perk that helped him all the time, or a perk he had to actively manage, which would provide him with consistent burst damage. There appeared to be dozens of downstream options based on his decision. He chose Dual Attack 1, figuring that the fifty percent bonus to hit would be especially useful at his low level. Jack mentally clicked on the final notification icon.

  You have learned the stealth skill. You gain a +6 bonus to this skill based on prior experience. Each point of stealth improves your ability to remain unseen and unheard by 1%.

  As Jack reviewed his character sheet, he saw the magic tab was greyed out, along with the party, town, and guild tabs. He recalled something about receiving a spell with his Rogue kit and closed his character sheet.

  Curious to investigate the contents of his adventuring backpack, he opened it up. Instead of a bunch of gear and items, he found only empty space. He felt around inside the bag and didn’t find anything, although he could put most of his arm into the backpack, which should have been impossible given its size.

  “Bag of holding!” Jack exclaimed excitedly, putting his head into the bag. He pulled it out a minute later, gasping for breath but with a stupid grin still on his face. Bags of holding were a staple of nearly every game he played, and it thrilled him to receive one as starting equipment in this new world. The prank factor of this little beauty knew no bounds! Hmmm, I could fart in it and . . . no, no, no, must focus. Jack centered himself and continued with the inspection.

  Now, how do I access my items? Mentally clicking on his character sheet, he noticed an inventory tab. Jackpot! He focused on the tab, and a new box came into view.

  The inventory window was split down the middle. On the left side was a portrait of himself complete with clothes, armor, and weapons. He looked pretty much the same: curly light brown hair, skin the color of honey, and dark blue eyes. He noticed his ears looked more pointed, and while still pudgy with a beer gut, he looked a little leaner than he remembered. Hey, the portrait is supposed to add ten pounds. He chuckled to himself. On the right side was a five-by-five grid, with seven spots containing items. The items included fifty feet of rope, five travel rations, thieves’ tools, waterskin, spell book, flint, and a survival token. None of the gear he’d brought with him had made the transition, including the pen and paper. The missing bow was especially disappointing, as he had thought himself exceptionally clever for bringing that along instead of a gun.

  Jack assumed the backpack contained all these items, but confirmation was easy enough to achieve. He reached into his backpack and concentrated on the spell book. It appeared in his hand, and he carefully examined it. Blue leather covered the thin book, with the word “Analyze” embossed along its binding and front in gold thread. He opened the book and a prompt appeared in his vision.

  You have discovered the spell book Analyze.

  Analyze: Casting Time: 2 seconds. Spell Cost: 2. Cooldown: 10 seconds. Rank: Simple. Effect: Analyze an item, creature, or object.

  This spell is part of your Rogue starting kit, so you have a 100% chance of learning it. Do you want to learn the Analyze spell?

  He mentally assented and the spell downloaded into his brain, leaving him with a slight headache. The book vibrated wildly, flaring with a golden light, then turned into a charred husk before becoming dust, which blew out of his hand on a particularly strong gust of wind.

  “I know kung fu,” Jack whispered in his best Keanu Reeves voice. Excited to try out his new spell, he looked at his shortsword and instinctively knew what to do. After vocalizing archaic-sounding words for two seconds, he felt the magic course from his gut and out through his eyes and another dialogue box appeared.

  Name: Poor Bronze Shortsword. Durability 12/12. Base damage 1-5.

  After waiting ten seconds, he Analyzed the rest of his equipment, piece by piece.

  Name: Poor Bronze Dagger. Durability 12/12. Base damage 0-3.

  Name: Poor Leather Armor. Durability 15/15. Defense +2.

  Name: Exceptional Adventuring Backpack. Durability 50/50. Inventory Slots: 25. 19 of 25 spots remaining.

  He wondered what types and quality of armor, weapons, and gear he could find. Suddenly he heard Alexa answering his unspoken question.

  “Eleven different quality types exist on Rigara, as follows: faulty, poor, standard, fine, exceptional, superb, exquisite, master, legendary, epic, and artifact. Items are given bonuses or penalties based on their quality. Items are also given bonuses or penalties based on their crafting material. For example, a mit
hril chain shirt will protect more than an iron chain shirt and an adamantine dagger will far surpass the damage of a bronze dagger.”

  This world and its weird system were nothing if not logical. For some reason, he pictured Wolverine, his body injected with adamantine. That dude would do well here.

  He noticed another flashing icon vying for his attention and quickly expanded the translucent notification.

  You have gained a skill point in Analyze.

  Did that mean he could Analyze things slightly faster? Or maybe it had a shorter cooldown? Or could he Analyze higher-level objects? This time Alexa remained silent, so he let the thought go.

  He put the magical canvas backpack on, adjusting the shoulder straps until it felt comfortable. Taking out the lodestone and string from his pocket, he dangled it for a few seconds, seeing if it would point him toward one of the portal pearls Morpheus had told him about. Not seeing any movement, he turned his back to the sun and headed west, out of the clearing and into the unassuming forest, directly toward center mass of the unknown.

  Chapter 5

  Jack headed into the dense woods, his clothes continually catching on brambles, pine needles, and dead branches until he came to a narrow game path that resembled a deer trail back in Wisconsin. He noticed many sun-dried imprints in the soft mud of the trail, and even recognized a few of the tracks: deer, rabbit, and coyote, though there were also a few prints he didn’t recognize but that looked vaguely catlike. Jack decided to follow a set of deer tracks, as he wasn’t sure how long his travel rations would last. His grandfather always told him to control what he could control and not worry about the rest, and that was advice he’d always tried to live his life by, although it was really hard not to worry about the task he had ahead of him. Maybe if all of the soldiers had survived with their equipment intact, Earth would stand a chance. But instead, it was just Jack. Sidebar: “Just Jack” would be a great name for a thirty-minute comedy on CBS. Well, he couldn’t possibly control much in this crazy world, but he could make sure he had enough to eat; it was the one thing he’d always excelled at. He absently patted the evidence of that fact.