Open Heart: A Medical Lesbian Romance Novel (City General: Medic 1 Series)

by Ruby Scott

  running a hand through her hair as soon as she sat down. Terri looked over

  at her, “About time you got back in the truck.” As soon as she realized that

  something seemed off with her partner, she sighed again. “Alright. What’s

  up?”

  Cara sighed again, turning her head to look out the window. “It’s

  nothing. Don’t worry about it. Let’s just call dispatch and get a new call.”

  Terri didn’t put the ambulance in drive. She turned her whole body to

  her partner. “Sure. It’s nothing, but I haven’t seen you like this since your

  breakup with Ali. Something’s clearly going on.”

  Cara visibly winced when Ali was brought up. The two had broken

  up six months ago, but the wound was still fresh. Ali was a constant hot

  mess and had been since before they had started going out. But Cara had

  loved her with her whole heart, even if that meant carrying her out of clubs

  because she was fighting. If she wasn’t fighting someone else, then she was

  fighting with Cara. It never took much. Sometimes it was just because she

  was fifteen minutes late in arriving home, because that obviously meant she

  was cheating.

  Cara finally had enough and called it off. She had blocked Ali’s

  number, but Ali wasn’t ready to call it quits. It was exhausting. “Fine.” She

  finally sighed to Terri. “So, I hooked up with a girl last night.”

  “I figured given how dead on your feet today you are today. So

  give… who is she?”

  “Turns out she is the new cardio resident and Jack’s buddy from med

  school.” She said, nodding her head towards the hospital.

  “And you didn’t know?”

  “Not until about five minutes ago, no. It was awkward. I didn’t

  expect to run into her again, you know. We kind of just parted ways this

  morning, and that was that. I didn’t know I’d see her almost every day.”

  Terri shrugged. “Well, I’m not ferrying patients across to Mercy so

  you can avoid your latest hit and run. Anyway, maybe it’s a sign.”

  “A sign?”

  “Yeah. Maybe she’s meant to be more than a hookup.”

  Cara shook her head. “Nope, no. We’re not going there. Ali was

  never supposed to be more than a one-night thing and look what happened

  there. I’m not going down that road again. I’m just not ready for another

  relationship. Ali messed with my head; you know that.”

  “I know. I’m just saying she is a resident, so she has to be more stable

  than Ali ever was. Maybe it could be a good thing.” Terri shrugged.

  “I guess we’ll never know because I’m not taking that chance.”

  It was really beginning to feel like every call was going straight to City

  General. Granted, it was the largest hospital in the area and was a certified

  trauma center, but Cara was constantly on the lookout for another run in

  with Izzy.

  She and Terri had just dropped off another patient when Cara decided

  to hit the EMT break room. It was located just outside of the ER. It was

  small with a brown leather sofa and a fridge that was stocked with food and

  small snacks that could be grabbed quickly and eaten on the move.

  Cara made it through the ER without an issue, but as soon as she

  scanned her badge to get through the next door, she was face-to-face with

  the one person she had tried so desperately to avoid. Izzy gasped, jumping

  backwards to avoid the two crashing into one another. She couldn’t very

  well make out like she hadn’t seen her, so she went with it.

  “Oh. Hey.” The awkwardness was so thick it could be cut with a knife.

  Izzy managed a smile. “Hey. Good to see you.” They both clearly

  didn’t know what to say. It was a situation that neither of them really knew

  how to navigate, but they were trying.

  “Yeah, same.”

  Cara made a decision then, standing in front of Izzy, to own the

  whole thing. Why did it have to be awkward? They had both had a good

  time; it wasn’t something to be weird about. “Look, I’m sorry if I was weird

  the other day. I just wasn’t expecting to see you again.” She gave a small

  shrug and then thought about what she had said. “Not that I’m

  complaining.”

  Izzy smiled then, a genuine one like the one she smiled when they

  were together. “Yeah, no. I get it. I wasn’t expecting to see you again either.

  Not complaining either.”

  Cara felt relieved and looking at Izzy it was obvious the feeling was

  mutual.

  “Well, good. Seems like we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.”

  Cara ran a hand through her hair. “I should probably get going. I was

  just heading to the break room for a snack, but I’ll see you around, right?”

  “Of course.” Izzy said, giving Cara one more smile before heading

  back up the corridor. Cara couldn’t stop herself from turning for just

  another quick glance at the cute resident in scrubs.

  As she did, Izzy also turned and with a wink sh said, “I love a woman in

  uniform.”

  As much as Cara didn’t want to admit it she loved the fact Izzy had

  turned and flirted. She couldn’t wipe the smile off her face for the rest of

  the day.

  They seemed to be bumping into each other more and more

  frequently and each time it was a little more familiar with the light tactile

  touches and small brushes as they passed each other. Both were oblivious to

  the fact everyone else had also seen growing flirtatiousness between them.

  FOUR

  It was a Tuesday when Cara had just signed over care to the charge nurse.

  She saw Izzy walk past, disappearing down a hallway that Cara knew led to

  the cardio wing of the hospital. She didn’t know what took over her, but she

  needed to see Izzy.

  She thanked the nurse one more time before practically jogging

  through the emergency room and walking the same path that Izzy had just

  taken. She saw her further down the hall when she walked past the door and

  called out to her, “Izzy!”

  The resident whipped around, a smile appearing on her face when she

  saw who called her name. “Hey!” She said, stopping in the hallway.

  Cara finished jogging to catch up with her. When she stood in front of

  her, she realized she had no reason to call out to her and stop her. She had

  just wanted to see her. Her brown eyes took in Izzy’s features when she

  noticed something slightly different. She reached out, taking one of Izzy’s

  wavy strands of dark brown hair in her hand. “You got a haircut.” She said,

  twirling the strand of hair around her finger. “It looks good on you.” Cara

  didn’t know what she was doing, but she felt like she was unable to stop

  herself. There was just something about Izzy that drew her in. The

  attraction that was between the two of them the first night was certainly still

  there.

  “Yeah.” Izzy said, her cheeks flushed. Cara was beginning to love

  that rosy flush that spread on her cheeks whenever she was slightly

  embarrassed. “I’m glad you like it. It wasn’t much, just my ends.”

  “It’s still noticeable.” At least to Cara it was. That made her wonder

  just how much attention she was giving Izzy that she notic
ed a small change

  in her hair. It was a little embarrassing that she paid that much attention to

  her, but Cara didn’t know how to stop doing something that she didn’t

  realize she was doing.

  “Well, thank you,” Izzy said, looking up at Cara. “I should, uh,

  probably get going. I have to give a report on a patient. My attending today

  is a dick. He doesn’t appreciate tardiness.”

  “Right.” Cara nodded. “I should probably get going too. Terri’s

  getting a little annoyed with me for always coming back to the truck late.

  I’ll see you around.” She smiled.

  “Yeah. I’ll see you.” Izzy smiled back before turning and finishing

  her trek down the hallway.

  All Cara could do was stand and watch her leave, wishing she had

  had more to say.

  Their next run-in was completely by chance. Cara didn’t go seeking Izzy

  out, and from the way the other reacted, she was fairly certain neither did

  she. Cara was heading back from a patient’s room. It was a basic patient

  transfer between hospitals, so it had been an easy call. Izzy was heading the

  opposite way. If Cara hadn’t looked up from her phone when she did, they

  probably would have missed each other. “Hey, Izzy,”

  Izzy looked up and smiled. “We have got to stop running into each

  other like this.”

  “Do we though?” Cara laughed. “Because I’m not complaining about

  bumping into you. It kinda brightens my day.”

  “Well, I guess not. It’s good to see you.”

  Izzy’s smile that spread from ear to ear made Cara feel bold; bolder

  than she had been being during their workplace run-ins. Lowering voice,

  she said; “The only thing I’m complaining about is how many clothes

  you’re wearing every time we see each other lately. You look good, but you

  look even better unscrubbed.” As expected, Izzy’s cheeks were pink, and

  Cara felt excitement bubble in the pit of her stomach.

  “I, uh…” Izzy didn’t know what to say. She stood there, racking her

  mind, trying to think of what to say back. She was usually so confident, but

  she’d never played a game like the one she was playing with Cara before.

  There was no clear definition of what was going on between them, just a

  clear definition of what wasn’t happening. “I should… I should go. I’ll see

  you around?”

  “Always,” Cara replied with a smirk. She turned and watched Izzy

  walking in the opposite direction, unable to help herself. She didn’t know

  what game she was playing here, but she was definitely loving it.

  Izzy, on the other hand, was beyond confused. Usually, her

  entanglements consisted of one-night stands or two-week relationships that

  ended because she was too committed to her studies. She didn’t know what

  to think of what was going on with Cara.

  On the one hand, Izzy didn’t want anything serious. She didn’t expect

  anything to come from it, nor did she want that. She wasn’t ready. On the

  other hand, what did Cara want? Were they friends? Two random people,

  who slept together and were now forced together by work? How did Izzy

  get the answers to these questions without being awkward and asking?

  She didn’t get a chance to dwell on what was or wasn’t happening.

  Sara Thomas rounded the corner. Sara was a woman in her mid-forties with

  honey blonde hair that was usually up in a bun, impressively unwrinkled

  skin (the residents had a feeling it was all Botox) and round silver glasses.

  She was the Chief of Surgery at City General. She took a great deal of pride

  in her hospital and the program she ran, but she had a fearsome reputation,

  especially amongst residents.

  “Frost,” Sara’s voice was naturally loud. Izzy had a feeling she had

  never had to be quiet in her life. “You’re scrubbing in on the next surgery

  with me. We’re replacing a mitral valve. Understand?”

  Izzy gave a slow nod. She wasn’t given a choice because Sara didn’t

  give people choices. All she knew was how to dish out orders and demands.

  Izzy had watched a valve replacement before but had never performed one

  herself. She felt nervous but excited all at the same time. This was the

  experience she was here for.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Alright. Come with me to OR 3 and scrub in.”

  “Wait.” Izzy blinked at Sara. “We’re doing it now?”

  “No Frost, we’re doing it tomorrow.” Sara rolled her eyes and shook

  her head. “Yes, we’re doing it now. Come on.”

  ***

  Izzy learned a hard lesson that day. She learned that studying

  something, memorizing every step, doesn’t compare to actually doing it.

  She felt like Sara put her on the spot too. Izzy didn’t know exactly what she

  was doing.

  Sara had led the surgery, making most of the major cuts and putting

  the heart on bypass. All Izzy had to do was remove the diseased mitral

  valve and replace it with the artificial one.

  From there, it all became a blur. She couldn’t remember what

  happened. Did her scalpel slip? Did she try too hard to force the valve into

  place? Next thing she knew, the patient was bleeding. She tried to stop the

  bleeding, did every technique that she knew, but nothing stopped it. She

  panicked, that’s when Sara stepped in, but try as Sara might she couldn’t

  stop the bleed either. It was too late.

  The patient had died on the table, and Sara had ordered Izzy to make

  the call. She stood looking down at her blood-soaked hands. Running it

  between the tips of her gloves, asking herself the same question over and

  over again. What had she done?

  Sara was angry and unable to hold back. Ordering Izzy to close the

  body, she pushed her aside. It wasn’t until Izzy appeared and removed her

  gown did she confront her.

  “You’re going to go tell his family. You’ll tell them there were

  complications and there was nothing we could do. Only you and I will ever

  know that in the hands of a better resident he might have stood a chance.”

  Izzy was doing her best to hold back her tears. She bit her bottom lip

  and nodded her head slowly. She couldn’t find the words. All she wanted to

  know was; what had she done wrong? What could she do to avoid it ever

  happening again. She wanted to know what she could do better next time to

  avoid the same outcome. But she didn’t get the chance as Sara crashed out

  of the room, leaving her standing alone.

  FIVE

  All she wanted to do was breakdown, but she couldn’t. This wasn’t her

  trauma. This sadness didn’t belong to her. It belonged to the family of the

  man who died on her table. She needed to be as emotionless as possible.

  She stepped into the waiting room, and instantly, a family stood up. A

  woman who she assumed was the man’s wife and his two adult children, a

  boy and a girl. “Is Thomas okay?” The woman asked immediately.

  When Izzy didn’t respond right off the bat, she held back the tears

  and delivered the news. “I am sorry, we did all we could for Thomas, but

  despite our best efforts there were complications beyond our control and I

  am afraid he didn’t make it through
surgery. He began to bleed, and we

  discovered that he has a heparin resistance and…”

  The patient’s widow let out a wail.

  “We tried our best, but he didn’t pull through. I’m sorry.” Izzy’s words

  were drowned by the audible anguish of his family. All Izzy could do was

  watch as the woman sat back down in the chair, her sobs becoming louder

  and more violent. Each one shook her entire body. Her daughter started to

  cry next, taking a seat next to her mother and wrapping an arm around her

  shoulder. The son maintained a straight face, wrapping his arms around

  both his mother and sister.

  Izzy’s saving grace was the same person who dished out her sentence.

  Sara stormed through the door that separated the waiting room from the rest

  of the hospital. “Mrs Walsh? I’m Dr Thomas, Chief of Surgery. I can talk

  you through everything that happened.”

  “Can we go see Thomas one last time?” The woman asked.

  Sara nodded. “Of course. He’s being cleaned up now; we’ll go see

  him together.” They stood, following Sara out the door.

  Izzy was left in the waiting room, her hands shaking. What had she

  done wrong? Why had she cost Thomas his life? She wasn’t going to be

  able to hold it together.

  She knew when she decided to be a surgeon that not every patient

  would live. She would be operating on people who were barely holding

  onto their life. That very fact was talked about again and again in med

  school. But nobody ever told her what happened when someone did die on

  your table. Nobody told her how empty she would feel, how broken and

  worthless. Nobody talked about how she would rethink every choice she

  had made in her life.

  She needed a minute. Without telling anybody where she was going,

  Izzy decided to step outside. She walked through the doors of the hospital

  and was greeted by the setting sun and rain. It was ironically fitting. It was a

  different setting than when she stepped into the OR earlier. It had been mid-

  afternoon; the sky had been sunny and bright.

  Izzy walked away from the hospital entrance, around to the side of

  the building, so hopefully nobody would see her cry. The rain splashed

  down on her, soaking her hair, and making it stick to her scalp and the back

  of her neck. It quickly started to soak through her white coat, to the light