by Ruby Scott
blue scrubs underneath.
“It’s awfully wet for you to be out here.” The voice startled Izzy,
causing the blonde to jump.
If anybody were going to interrupt her crying session, she had hoped
it might be Jack. He would be understanding of her situation and would
listen without judging. Instead, when she looked up, she was face to face
with Cara. Her face was filled with concern.
“Hey. What’s wrong?” She asked.
Izzy shook her head. “Don’t… don’t worry about it.” She used the
heel of her hand to wipe at her tears, trying to pull herself together.
“No. I’m going to worry. Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?”
Izzy didn’t want to talk about it. At least not to Cara. She always
seemed so cool, so put together. It was embarrassing. But she had nobody
else to talk to, and eventually she would have to go back into the hospital
and finish off her shift. She swallowed hard, refusing to make eye contact.
“I… I lost a patient.”
Cara leaned back against the wet brick, emitting a sigh. “Yeah…
that’s never easy. What happened?”
“I honestly don’t know. I don’t know if I fucked up. I’m pretty sure
Thomas is putting it down to me. His widowed face as I broke the news to
her—it was just awful.” The tears were rolling down her cheeks, and she
felt Cara’s arms surround her. She sobbed into her shoulder.
When the sobs had calmed Cara asked her “Was this the first patient
you’ve lost?”
“No, he wasn’t my first patient to die, but he was the first to die on the
table with my hands on his heart.” She looked far into the distance, but in
her head her eyes were still watching the moves she had made less than an
hour earlier.
“I still remember the first patient I ever lost.” Izzy turned to face her.
“It was during my first week as a medic. I was in the back with the patient,
a teenage girl who had been in a wreck. She didn’t look good, if we’re
being honest, but my first partner and I were hopeful she would be able to
make it to the hospital and they’d be able to save her. But… she started to
code in the back. I got her, tried everything I knew to save her, but nothing
was good enough. We lost her about a mile out from the hospital. I cried for
the rest of my shift.”
When Cara spoke, the pain was clear in her voice. This was
something that still hurt her. “It’s never easy.” Izzy’s voice was melancholy
as she wondered how long she would relive the moment she had to break
the news to Thomas’s widow.
Cara gave her a squeeze. “I still send her family a card every year on
her birthday. Every time I arrive at a MVC, I think of her. Every time my
patient is a teenage girl, I remember her. I don’t think you ever get over
your first death. It sticks with you, and that’s okay. It pushes you to be
better, to do better. It’s hard, and it hurts like hell, but that’s a painful part of
this field. It happens to everyone.”
Izzy didn’t feel soothed until Cara’s last line. It happens to everyone.
Logically, she knew it did. She wasn’t alone. These things happened.
“You’re right. I just… I don’t know what happened. He was doing fine one
minute and the next he was bleeding out on my table.”
“You’re going to lose sleep over this until you realize you didn’t do
anything wrong, sometimes we can’t save everyone especially in surgeries.
They all have risks, I’m sure he knew it.”
Izzy nodded slowly. It didn’t make any of this easier, but she felt less
alone. “Thank you.” She said softly.
Cara shook her head. “There’s nothing to thank me for. All I did was
tell you the truth. Listen, why don’t we go out tonight? You’ve clearly had a
shitty day; my day hasn’t been the best. We could both use a drink and a
chance to relax. What do you think?”
Initially, Izzy wanted to say ‘no’. All she wanted was to go home,
put on PJ’s and crawl into bed with some ice cream. But Cara’s offer
sounded better. Alcohol would help her forget and at least she might feel
good, even if it was for the briefest time.
“Alright.” She agreed. “I get off at seven.”
Cara smiled. “I’ll pick you up here at seven.” Reaching out, she
patted Izzy on the shoulder. “You’ll be fine. Get inside before you get
pneumonia, though.”
With that, the two parted ways. Izzy still felt awful, but at least she
had something to look forward to.
Izzy was in the locker room, changing out of her scrubs and into the nice
blouse that she had worn to work that day. She was just closing her locker
when Jack entered. “Hey,” He said softly. “I heard about what happened
with Thomas. You know she’s a hardass. Are you ok?” He opened his
locker and took off his scrub top. “Do you want to order in tonight? We
could crash at my place with some Chinese food and a bottle of Merlot?”
She shook her head. “As tempting as that offer sounds, I actually
already have plans with Cara.” Jack’s eyebrows shot up to the middle of his
forehead, and Izzy shook her head. “Not like that.”
“Uh, huh?” He said, pulling his t-shirt on. “Likely story. We both
know you two are going to end up in bed again together. It’s fate.” He
added the last part in a sing-song voice.
Izzy rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay. You’ll be eating your words
tomorrow when I tell you that we didn’t sleep together.”
“Whatever you say!” Jack shouted as she left the room.
SIX
Cara drove the two of them to a small club a little out from the centre of the
city. It wasn’t as glamorous as Parade had been. It clearly wasn’t as new or
as up to date as the other club had been. The exterior was a faded black; a
small neon sign was in the front window that matched the sign out front that
read ‘Inclusio’. At this place, there was a bouncer checking IDs. He let Cara
and Izzy in without a second thought, and Cara led the two of them towards
the small bar off to the side.
They both took a seat and Cara ordered their drinks, a JD and coke
for herself and a mojito for Izzy.
“You remembered,” Izzy said with a laugh as the bartender walked
off to fix their drinks.
“I have a good memory.” She smiled.
“About today…”
“Let’s not talk about it tonight,” Cara said, turning on her stool to
look over at her. “Tonight, let’s just drink and have fun. Tomorrow and
every day after that, if you need to vent to someone about what happened,
I’ll be there. It won’t do good for you to dwell on it tonight.”
Did Cara understand how hard that was going to be? It had been the
only thing on Izzy’s mind since it happened. Every thought somehow
revolved around the event. How could drinking make it better? She was
going to be a mess, but she could try it Cara’s way. She had more
experience in this type of situation than Izzy did.
“Alright.” She agreed. “I’ll take you up on that deal.”
“Good.” Cara smiled, their drinks arriving seconds
after she had
spoken.
It didn’t take long before the two women had downed their first
drinks and then their second, moving on to their third.
In that time, Izzy had learned that Cara was the only girl in a family
full of boys. She learned that before being a medic, Cara worked for the fire
department. She had enjoyed the first responder aspect of the job. It’s where
she felt most useful, so she went back to school for her medic license. She
loved her job. It kept her busy; she had a steady schedule, and she heard so
many interesting stories from different people.
Izzy’s shoulders slumped slightly. She didn’t have any amazing or
even interesting stories to tell. Her life experience was definitely less. She
knew she was going to be a surgeon since she was a child. She originally
wanted to be an ER surgeon, but her parents made it known that they
wanted her to be a cardiothoracic surgeon like her father. So, she moved to
the latter. The past few years of her life had been spent studying and coming
top of her class, just so she could earn her position at City General.
“Do you actually want to be a cardiothoracic surgeon?” Cara asked
when they were three drinks in.
The question was the same one that Izzy had asked herself every day.
Did she really want to be in cardiothoracic surgery? After today, the answer
was that she was unsure. It had never been her passion, nor did she even
feel like it was a choice that she had made; more a choice that had been
made for her. The idea of being an emergency surgeon seemed more
thrilling, less routine. So many different things could happen in that
situation. Heart problems were repetitive.
Taking a sip of her drink, Izzy shrugged. “I don’t know, but I’m here
now. I don’t want to have to start all over, you know?”
“So, you’d rather live your life unhappy than start over again?”
Izzy shrugged. “I won’t be unhappy. I don’t hate what I’m doing now.
I mean, I’m sure I’ll always be curious if there is anything more out there.
But I’d be content.” Izzy said, taking another drink.
“I mean, whatever makes you happy. I would go for whatever made
you happy. You can’t always do what your family wants you to do.” She
sighed. “Trust me; mine wish I’d settle down and have children, but I’m too
young for that just now. I love my family, but I want to be happy with
myself.”
Izzy was tempted to ask questions. Mostly ones about Cara settling
down. She knew it was none of her business, but she was interested. Izzy
hardly knew anything about Cara, but she didn’t seem like the type of
person who would ever settle down. She came off so wild and free. She
kept her mouth closed, sipping from her drink.
Another drink in and the two had moved away from the deeper
topics. Cara downed what was left in her glass and Izzy followed suit.
Before Izzy could decide whether to order another one or not, Cara was
taking her hand in hers. “Let’s dance.” She said.
How could she say no?
Izzy let herself be pulled to the dance floor. Their bodies pressed
together just like the first night. It wasn’t the least bit uncomfortable or
strange; instead, it almost felt natural. Izzy’s arms wrapped around Cara’s
neck and Cara slipped her arms around Izzy’s body, making sure they
stayed flush together.
She didn’t know whether it was the alcohol or how close the two of
them were, but Izzy couldn’t help but think back to the night they had spent
together. Being this close sent a tingling feeling through her entire body and
judging from Cara’s wandering hands, she was feeling the same.
“Should we go somewhere together?” She asked, fully aware there
was a chance she was going to make herself look like an idiot.
This wasn’t her intention when she agreed to go out with Cara
tonight, but she was just as magnetic as she had been when they first met.
She felt like she was unable to control how much she wanted her.
She waited for Cara’s answer, a lump forming in her throat when it
took longer than she felt was necessary. So far, nothing about today seemed
to be in her control. When Cara finally smiled down at her and said, “Yes.”
Nothing but relief flooded from Izzy.
She wasn’t expecting Cara to pull her in for a kiss, right there in the
middle of the dance floor, but when she did, Izzy kissed her back. She lifted
herself up on her tiptoes so she could lean into the kiss, as Cara held her
close.
When they parted, Cara spoke again. “My place this time? It’s
closer.”
Izzy eagerly nodded. As they moved towards the door, Cara ordered
an Uber. It was like the last night they were together, on repeat. They sat in
the back together, as close as possible, their bodies rippling with
excitement. It took everything in Izzy not to lean in and kiss her.
The building wasn’t as new as Izzy’s. It wasn’t as luxurious, but it
was still nice and in a decent part of town. They practically ran up the three
flights of stairs and down the hall, to Cara’s front door with her leading the
way. Once the door was unlocked and the two were inside, it was once
again a replay of the last time they were together.
It wasn’t the least bit tentative this time. They knew what they were
doing. They knew what each other liked. Cara pressed Izzy up against the
door, hands on her waist, as their lips moved together. Their lips parted,
tongues entangling. Cara still tasted like JD and coke, and Izzy knew she
would never be able to drink one without thinking of her again.
When the kiss broke, Cara changed things up. She moved her hands
to Izzy’s bottom, lifting her. Izzy wrapped her legs around Cara’s waist and
Cara held her there with ease. Their lips met again as Cara carried her,
taking full control of the situation.
Dropping her back on the unmade bed. It was the exact opposite of
Izzy’s put together apartment, but Izzy didn’t care. All she cared about at
that moment was touching Cara’s body, and having Cara’s hands touch her.
They had no definition of what this was or what they were… Friends?
Friends with benefits? Something more? Who the hell cared when it felt
this good.
The kiss deepened as Cara’s hands started moving over Izzy’s body.
She unbuttoned Izzy’s jeans, sliding them off of her hips and onto her
bedroom floor. Cara’s jeans followed, as did her t-shirt, then Izzy’s. They
could hardly take their hands or lips off of each other as want drove their
actions. For the first time, Cara’ hand came up to Izzy’s breast, cupping it
and rubbing her thumb over the lace and the hardened nipple which lay
underneath.
Izzy remembered the desperation she had felt last time, wanting
nothing more than for Cara to touch her. Now she finally was. She arched
her chest into Cara’s hand, silently urging the woman to continue what she
was doing. Wasting no time Cara’s removed Izzy’s bra allowing her to suck
and bite her nipples. Izzy’s whimpers turned into quiet moans, and Cara
> herself was getting more and more aroused.
She loved seeing Izzy like this.. Half-closed eyes, full lips parted in
sighs of pleasure, skin flushed. The sounds she made sent a sharp
contraction through her body. When she stopped, Izzy pouted. She pushed
herself up on her elbows, her dark brown eyes boring into Cara’s with
question.
Before she could say anything, Cara smiled at her. “How do you feel
about toys?”
“I, eh, like a vibrator?”
“I was thinking more strap on?” Cara hovered above Izzy for just a
moment, and a look of hesitation came across her face. Was she pushing to
it too far too soon?
Izzy’s smile grew, “I’d love that.”
Cara jumped off the bed her heart racing. Pulling out the strap on with
its black harness from the drawer she wasted no in putting it on and
adjusting the straps before making her way back to Izzy who lay back with
her legs as wide as her eyes in anticipation.
As Cara leant in for a kiss, she felt the pull of the strap against her clit
and the hardness against her stomach. She felt Izzy’s legs lift, wrapping
themselves around her body. All she could think about was how much she
wanted her. Every time they had gently brushed past each in the hall. Every
time she smiled, and now she was here with her again. The mix of desire
and excitement made Cara’s heart feel like it was about to burst.
Cara pulled back, lowering her hand to place the tip against Izzy’s
wetness. Cara let out a small laugh as Izzy immediately pushed her hips
upward.
“Patience.” She told her. “Patience.”
Izzy let out a frustrated sigh, but Cara kept slowly rubbing. Her smile
grew just a little more wicked as she reached down and with one small
press at the base at the dildo, it began to vibrate.
Cara felt her breathing rasp a little as she felt the small, fast movements
of the strap against her own clit. God, she was going to enjoy this. With
another buck of Izzy’s hips, the tip entered her slowly. Cara was
mesmerized. Izzy’s eyes were closed. Her mouth parted gently. Her dark
hair spread across the white sheets. She was so beautiful.
Pushing in deeper, Cara fought against her own pleasure to keep her
eyes open so she could keep watching Izzy. As she thrust a little harder,
