Steadfast Mercy

by Ruth Reid

  Another car passed. “I wish Mr. Jordan was here. He’d save us.” Stephen squeezed her neck a little tighter as he whimpered into her coat collar.

  Mr. Jordan? Jonica recalled what Stephen had said in the doktah’s office. “I’ve seen him before . . . in mei dreams.” She swallowed hard.

  This was a mistake. A terrible mistake. She should have waited until Stephen was down for a nap, then left him home with Aenti. Jonica would have made it into town and already be back home by now.

  Jonica mentally scratched everything off the list. Grocery shopping would have to wait until another day. The weather was too frigid to stay out in it much longer. Stephen needed a place to warm up. He was shivering and she could barely feel her nose with the wind at her face.

  The Amish Table was only a half mile away. Yoder’s Market was even closer. But if she had to wait out the storm, she’d rather do it sipping coffee at The Amish Table, and Stephen would enjoy a mug of hot cocoa topped with whipped cream. They could make it to the restaurant.

  Pressing herself to an easy jog, Jonica almost laughed out loud when Yoder’s Market finally came in sight.

  Stephen tapped her on the shoulder. “I have to use the potty.”

  “Can you hold it a little longer?” She stopped at the end of Yoder’s drive.

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Mamm will get you to a potty. Hang on a few more minutes.” Jonica quickly headed toward Yoder’s. With her gaze locked on the front door of the store, her foot suddenly dropped down into an icy puddle. Frosty water seeped into her shoes and soaked into the double layers of socks.

  “Oh, what else can go wrong today?”

  Chapter 12

  As Jonica turned the doorknob to the country store, she breathed out, “Danki, Jesus.”

  The overhead vent welcomed them with a blast of hot air. She stomped snow off her shoes on the mat at the door, then headed straight to the restroom located in the back. Thankfully, they made it in time.

  A few minutes later, Jonica helped Stephen wash and dry his hands, then put on his coat, gloves, and hat. “Are you warmer?”

  “Jah, but I don’t want to go back outside,” he whined. Jonica should have corrected him, but in truth, she didn’t want to go back outside either. She wanted to ask Melvin Yoder if he had Beverly Drombroski’s phone number. Even in bad weather like today, the Englischer had always been willing to drive her parents when a need arose.

  Jonica and Stephen wove around the bulk dry goods bins, making their way to the front of the store, their boots squeaking against the linoleum floor with every step. As they neared the end of the aisle, chatter erupted from the register area. Focused on blowing warm air into her fisted hands to get warm, Jonica disregarded the muffled conversation two women were engaged in—until her name was mentioned.

  “He was with Jonica and the bu at the doktah’s office. I saw them myself.”

  Jonica froze. She recognized Hazel’s voice.

  “Together?” the other woman asked.

  “Jah, I even talked with them,” Hazel replied. “I wonder if she’s back in Posen for gut nau that her parents have passed on.”

  Approaching footsteps clumped toward her from the opposite end of the aisle. Jonica swiped a box of Froot Loops off the shelf and pretended to read the nutritional label on the side of the box. As the customer neared she shifted her stance, keeping her back to the passerby.

  “I guess the rumors were right about why they left town.” Hazel patted her belly. “I wouldn’t know how to bring up mei boppli if I didn’t have a husband.”

  “Mamm?” Stephen tapped Jonica’s arm. “I’m thirsty.”

  She reached for Stephen’s gloved hand. “Let’s geh, sweetie.” The place had suddenly turned colder than the outdoors.

  As they rounded the corner Darleen Yoder turned. “Can I help—?” Her lips formed a straight line.

  “We were just leaving.” Jonica kept her head down and bustled to the door. Once outside the store, a gust of cold wind pushed her back a step. She gathered Stephen into her arms, then headed in the direction of The Amish Table.

  Thankfully the short walk to the restaurant was uneventful. Jonica set Stephen on his feet and pulled open the front door. A bell rang overhead.

  “Sit anywhere you—” Faith spoke over her shoulder while carrying a food tray toward a table. She stopped and whirled around, knocking the ketchup bottle off her tray. “Jonica!”

  Relief washed over Jonica at the sight of her friend’s wide smile. “Jah, it’s me.” She bent down and picked up the bottle. “At least the glass didn’t break.”

  “Jah, what a mess that would have been.” Faith motioned to the roomful of empty tables. “Please, sit. I’ll be with you in just a second.”

  As Faith served her customers, Jonica led Stephen to a cozy table in the back corner. “Stay here, Stephen. I’m going to grab a booster seat for you.” Finding the high chairs and booster seats in the same place stacked against the wall at the waitress station, she grabbed one for Stephen to use. “This should give you some height.” She lifted him onto the chair.

  Faith set her tray on the empty table, then came over to them. Turning to Jonica with outstretched arms, she greeted her with a warm hug. “I was hoping you would kumm to see me. It’s so gut to see you again.”

  “It’s gut to see you too.” Jonica hadn’t realized how much she missed Faith and her friendship until this moment. Although she had made a few friends in Cedar Ridge, none of those friendships were close like what Jonica had with Faith when she lived in Posen. Faith was more like the sister she never had.

  Faith released Jonica. “When did you get back in town?”

  “A couple of days ago.” Jonica helped Stephen remove his coat, hat, and gloves, then took off her cloak and hung the outer coverings over the back of an empty chair.

  Faith touched Stephen’s cheek. “Is this your sohn?”

  “I’m Stephen Muller,” he said before Jonica had a chance to answer.

  She watched Faith for a sign she’d pass judgment on them for Stephen bearing her father’s name and Jonica not being married when he was born, but Faith’s expression didn’t change—except to smile wider.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Stephen. I have a sohn about your age. His name is Daniel. Maybe one day soon the two of you can play together while your mother and I have kaffi.”

  “Can I, Mamm?”

  “We’ll see.” His hand needed to heal first.

  Faith studied him a moment, still smiling. Nothing but admiration and love shone on her features. “He has your eyes, Jonica.”

  “Like the big lake. Right, Mamm?”

  Jonica nodded to Stephen, then explained to Faith. “On the bus ride here, I told him his eyes were as blue as Lake Huron.”

  “Jah, I agree.” Faith winked at Stephen, then shifted her focus to Jonica. “Are you back for gut? I hope so. I can use some part-time help here if you have someone to care for Stephen.”

  “Nay. I’ll nett be staying long.” Running into Darleen and Hazel earlier had reminded her of why she wanted to make her visit short, but Faith wasn’t anything like the other two. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be curt.”

  “I didn’t take it that way.” A bell in the kitchen dinged and Faith motioned to the kitchen. “Mei order is up. What can I get you two to drink?”

  “I’ll have kaffi and Stephen will have a hot cocoa, please.”

  “Give me a minute to serve mei other table their food, then I’ll be right back with your drinks.”

  Jonica leaned in her chair to see into the kitchen as Faith swung the double doors open and disappeared from the dining area. Faith’s mother, Irma, and her cousin Catherine had alternated as cooks when Jonica waitressed at the restaurant, but she couldn’t get a look at the cook. And that was a long time ago. She scanned the seating area. Large family-size tables that could seat eight customers were centered in the room with smaller tables along the front windows and back and side wal
ls. She glanced at the wall clock. Three o’clock, no wonder the place was almost empty. The lunch crowd would have left hours ago.

  Stephen sneezed, bringing her attention back to him. He held his hands in his armpits and his teeth chattered. She grabbed his coat off the back of the chair. “Let’s put your coat back on for a little while.”

  He pushed one arm at a time through his coat sleeves. “Ich tired.” He yawned.

  Entering a hot building after being outside in the cold often made her sleepy as well, but what she found alarming was his ashen complexion. The pamphlet she’d received from the doctor’s office flashed through her mind. Pale skin—check. Tiredness—check. She placed her palm against his forehead. Thankfully, his skin was cool to the touch. At least she didn’t have to tick the box marked fever or infection.

  “Here you go.” Faith set a mug of black coffee in front of Jonica. “Be careful, this is really hot,” she told Stephen as she placed his mug of whipped cream–topped cocoa in front of him.

  “Give it a minute to cool, Stephen,” Jonica said.

  Faith posed her pen over the order pad. “What would you like to eat?”

  “We’ll just share a grilled cheese sandwich, please.” Perhaps having something in her stomach besides coffee would give her strength to carry Stephen home. It wasn’t so much his weight—he only weighed thirty pounds—but he was lanky and awkward to hold for any length of time.

  “Any fries or onion rings?”

  Jonica hadn’t eaten onion rings since she worked at the restaurant. But she didn’t have unlimited funds. She still had to purchase their bus tickets to return to Cedar Ridge. “Just the sandwich for nau.”

  Faith tore the ticket off the pad. “I’ll put your order in, then kumm back to visit some more. Maybe it’ll stay quiet in here and give us a chance to catch up.” She placed a hand on Jonica’s shoulder. “I want to hear all about Cedar Ridge and everything you’ve been up to.”

  She took a few steps toward the kitchen, then spun around, somber faced. “Please, forgive mei thoughtlessness.” She returned to the table and leaned down to give Jonica a hug. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

  “Danki. And danki for the beautiful card you sent.” The lump in her throat caused her voice to strain. “It meant a lot.” Jonica used her napkin to dab the corners of her eyes while willing herself not to fall apart.

  She glanced at Stephen, but he was too preoccupied eating the whipped cream off his drink with a spoon to notice her eyes tearing up. She had to toughen her emotions for her child’s sake.

  “I’m sorry, Jonica. I should have known you were still grieving.”

  Jonica drew in a calming breath. “I’m getting stronger every day. I’m sure it doesn’t seem like it at this moment, but I am.”

  “I wish I could have been there with you.”

  Jonica smiled. “I know.” Faith had always been a true and trustworthy friend. She had gone through a lot herself, finding out at sixteen that her parents were not her biological parents. But the discovery made her stronger in the end.

  Faith reached for Jonica’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I better give the cook your order or you won’t ever get your food.”

  “Don’t let me keep you.” Jonica waited until Faith went into the kitchen, then lifted up a silent prayer. Lord, I don’t want to fall apart every time someone mentions Mamm and Daed. This world was nett their home. I know they are much better off with You. Please, help me to move on. For Stephen’s sake.

  The sound of the swinging doors opening drew her from her prayer. “Your sandwich will be out in a minute or two,” Faith said, while placing plates filled with roast beef, potatoes and gravy, and some kind of greens in front of the customers across the room.

  Faith tucked the tray under her arm and came back to their table. “Do you mind if I sit?”

  “I’d love it.” Jonica reached over to pull out the chair without their outerwear.

  Placing the large, round tray on the empty table behind them, Faith took a seat, then twisted slightly where she could keep an eye on her other customers. “You said you weren’t staying long, but you never said how long you’d be in Posen.”

  “I don’t know exactly how long, but we’ll go back to Cedar Ridge after I finish doing paperwork for Aenti Edna to sell the farm.” Jonica decided not to mention that Stephen’s blood work might keep her in town longer. She trusted Faith to keep the information to herself, but she didn’t want to talk about the possibility of a clotting disorder or, worse, cancer. Not in front of Stephen.

  “Is Edna moving to Cedar Ridge to live with you?”

  Jonica shrugged. “We haven’t had a chance to talk about the details yet, but according to the letter I received, she wants to live with her older schweschder in Mio.”

  “Her older schweschder?” Faith’s brows rose. “How much older?”

  “Aenti Mary Anna is in her eighties.” Faith’s brows had arched the same way they used to when she was unsure of something and wanted to prompt the other person to say more. “Why do you look concerned? What are you thinking?”

  Faith shook her head. “I just assumed with her memory declining that she’d live with someone who could care for her if it was no longer safe for her to live alone. And honestly, I assumed that was why you had kumm back home.”

  “I know mei daed was worried about something because prior to the accident, he’d made plans to visit Aenti once the lumberyard was shut down for the winter.” Jonica blinked several times to ward off the developing tears. “To be honest, Aenti and I haven’t been close ever since . . .” She looked at Stephen, smiled, then cleared her throat and continued.

  “Most of mei interactions with Aenti were simple greetings sent through letters exchanged with mei mamm. Mamm kept her updated about Stephen, his first words, his first steps, but Aenti never seemed . . .” Jonica swallowed her words. Stephen didn’t need to hear why her aunt didn’t approve of his mother. Besides, Edna had treated them well since their arrival. Perhaps her memory decline had somehow blocked that part of the past.

  Jonica sipped her coffee, her thoughts drifting to the letter she’d received from Aenti wishing to sell the farm. The letter had been logical—thought-filled. Nothing she’d said indicated mental decline. Even her handwriting had been legible.

  “If Edna goes to live with her schweschder, I hope you will still kumm back to Posen and visit me.”

  Jonica had no intention of ever coming back in the first place—there were too many bad memories here and too many opportunities to cause her heartbreak—but she didn’t want to thwart Faith’s hopefulness. Before Jonica could formulate a satisfactory reply, the kitchen bell dinged.

  “Sounds like your food is ready.” Faith bounded up from the chair.

  Stephen pushed his empty mug aside. “Ich hot.” He slipped his uninjured arm out of his coat but struggled to free his bandaged hand.

  “Patience, sweetie.” Jonica stood and helped him remove the garment. “Are you warmer nau?”

  He nodded, causing a lank of his hair to fall into his eyes. Jonica pushed it aside, reminded suddenly of the boy’s father. Though she knew there’d never be any relationship between Stephen and his daed, the threat of accidently bumping into Peter in the community—if he still lived around these parts—was another reason to leave the district as quickly as possible.

  Faith approached with the food, serving Stephen and Jonica both full sandwiches and a large basket of onion rings. “This is mei treat.” She winked at Stephen. “Onion rings were always your mamm’s favorite when she worked here.”

  “Danki, Faith. You’re so sweet.” Jonica tapped Stephen’s hand. “What do you say, sohn?”

  “Danki!” He reached for the largest ring.

  “Ach!” Faith’s eyes enlarged. “What did you do to your hand?”

  With Stephen busy chewing his food, Jonica answered, “He tried to cut a piece of cornbread when I wasn’t around.” She picked up the ketchup container and squeezed
a dollop onto her plate.

  “That must have hurt,” Faith said.

  Jonica nodded as she dipped an onion ring in the ketchup. “He needed a few stitches but I hope it’ll heal quickly.”

  “Jah, it hurt really bad,” Stephen mumbled, then piped up with excitement. “But I’m going fishing.”

  Jonica grabbed her coffee mug and gulped the hot liquid, pushing down a mouthful of food, but the clump of fried onion rings didn’t mix well with the acid churning in her stomach. The burning sensation in the back of her throat prevented her from finding her voice to hush Stephen.

  “Caleb’s taking me.”

  Too late.

  Faith’s eyebrows rose, then she seemed to push aside her surprise and replaced it with the same all-knowing smile she’d had when they were growing up. “That’s nice.”

  Jonica motioned to the food. “This is a nice treat. I forgot how much I liked onion rings. What do you think, Stephen, do you like them?”

  “Jah, it’s gut.”

  “Here.” Jonica slid her plate forward. “Try one dipped in ketchup.” She glanced at Faith who seemed to be waiting for a response to the elephant in the room. “Caleb Schulmann was at Aenti Edna’s haus when the accident happened. He took us to the doktah’s office. He’s putting in a crop of winter wheat on Aenti’s acreage.” Enough explanation. Focus on eating—on leaving.

  “Nau it all makes sense. When Hazel Lantz was here earlier, she mentioned running into you in town.”

  “Mentioned, you say?” She could certainly read between those lines.

  Faith glanced at Stephen as if to measure his interest in the conversation, then leaned closer to Jonica. “We can talk more later.”

  Jonica shook her head. “You don’t have to say anything. Hazel’s at Yoder’s Market probably still running her mouth. I just came from there.” This was exactly why she didn’t want anyone to know she was in town. Rumors had a way of swirling with the wind. She picked up her sandwich and opened her mouth to take a bite.