Steadfast Mercy

by Ruth Reid

  Peter’s letter gave her some peace. She opened the notebook and read it again.

  Dear Jonica,

  I was wrong when I tried to talk you into leaving the Amish. I’m writing to let you know that I’ve come back to the faith. I want to serve God. I know you were praying for me. Danki. I have to know—did I wait too long to get my life in order? Have you found someone else? I’ve been saving money to leave Posen. Maybe your daed has need of another worker in the sawmill?

  The letter wasn’t finished, but it said everything she needed to know. He had made amends with God before his death. God had answered her prayers.

  But something was urging her to pray. Compelled to kneel on the kitchen floor, she bowed her head. “Lord, I don’t know what I’m being called to pray about, but I ask that whatever is stirring in mei spirit, You will take care of it. Please place a hedge of protection around Stephen. Keep him safe. Watch over Aenti Edna. Lord, I pray for Caleb. He’s hurting over Peter’s death. Please, give him wisdom and strengthen his leg. He’s in a lot of pain.”

  Jonica prayed for everyone who came to mind, including Ephraim, his children, and Eunice. Then she sat on the cold floor in silence, waiting for more prompting from the Holy Spirit of anyone she’d missed.

  “Mamm,” Stephen called from the stairs.

  “Amen.” Jonica pushed off the floor. Stephen had only been down for his nap a few minutes. What was he doing up?

  “Mamm, we need to pray,” Stephen said. “Something’s wrong with Caleb.”

  “We can do that.” Jonica knelt back down and tapped the kitchen floor for him to join her.

  Stephen got down on his knees, folded his hands, and closed his eyes. “God, I think something is wrong with Caleb. A voice woke me up and told me to pray.” Muttering, Stephen continued to pray.

  Watch over Caleb, Father. Keep him safe.

  After a minute, Stephen looked up. “Okay.” Then his eyes widened. “I forgot.” He closed his eyes again. “And God, please, take care of Nutmeg.” Stephen stood. “I’m done. Do I have to go back to bed?”

  Jonica smiled. While she was still inwardly fretting about why God had called them to pray, Stephen was at total peace. Childlike faith. She cleared her throat. “If you promise to play quietly, you can stay up.”

  “Okay.” He left the room.

  Jonica sat on the floor a few moments longer. Lord, please forgive me for worrying so much when You have everything under control. Give me that same childlike faith.

  Someone’s knocking on the door brought Jonica off the floor. She opened the door and took a step back. “Deborah.”

  “May I kumm in? There’s a few things I would like to talk with you about.”

  Jonica sucked in a sharp breath. “Is Caleb allrecht?”

  She smiled. “He’s gut.”

  Thank You, Lord.

  “May I?” Caleb’s mother motioned in the house.

  Jonica wasn’t looking forward to another talk after the last one didn’t go so well, but she stepped aside. Maybe Deborah just needed reassurance that Jonica wouldn’t interfere with Caleb and Darleen’s plans.

  It went against Jonica’s grain not to offer Caleb’s mamm a cup of coffee . . . But doing so would only encourage her to stay longer. Best to hear what the woman had to say, then encourage her to be on her way.

  Deborah sat at the table. “I know this visit is . . . unexpected.” She picked at her fingernails.

  Was this display of brokenness another tactic to convince Jonica to leave town—leave her son alone?

  “It seems you’ve been a major influence with mei sohn moving toward healing.” Deborah linked her hands together on the table and lowered her head. When she glanced back to Jonica, tears pooled in her eyes. “Caleb has had periods of despondence since his bruder’s death. We all have been . . . overwhelmed with grief.”

  “I’m sorry. I know it’s hard to lose—” She was repeating everything she’d told his mother the last time, and her words hadn’t helped then. “I’m glad Caleb is moving forward.” She cleared her throat. Best to set things straight once and for all. “I’m nett going to interfere with Caleb and Darleen’s wedding plans, if that’s why you’re really here.”

  “Nay, that’s not why I’m here. I came to apologize. Mei sohn is in love with you . . . and I don’t want to lose mei sohn by interfering in his life. He isn’t going to marry Darleen.”

  “He isn’t?” Her lungs constricted, and she fought the urge to press her hand to her chest.

  Deborah shook her head. “He said he wouldn’t marry someone he wasn’t in love with, and he also said the person he’s in love with is you.”

  “He said that?”

  She nodded. “I thought I owed you the truth.”

  “Danki for telling me.” Jonica’s insides fluttered with exhilaration.

  Caleb loved her.

  “Forgive me if I . . . appear out of sorts.” The older woman’s lips trembled, and she lifted her teary gaze upward.

  Jonica reached out and placed her hand over Deborah’s. “You won’t lose Caleb.” She shifted the conversation to a new topic. “How is his leg? I’ve been worried about him after he fell the other nacht.”

  Deborah sat up straighter. “He fell?”

  “He’s been favoring his right side. I think he’s having more problems than what he’s let on.”

  “Caleb and Abraham are working on the old house he’s restoring.” She stood. “I have their lunch in the buggy. I should go check on him. Would you like to ride along?”

  “I don’t like to leave Stephen and Aenti alone. Her memory isn’t gut and she tends to sleep most of the day. Even nau, she’s lying down in her room.”

  “I want to see Caleb.” Stephen came up behind Jonica. “Please.”

  “I know Caleb would love to spend time with you both,” Deborah said.

  Jonica smiled. “I’d like to see him—and the project he’s working on.”

  * * *

  Caleb enjoyed working with his daed on the house. During the first few hours, the melancholy atmosphere was almost unbearable. Neither of them seemed to know where to begin and it wasn’t from lack of knowledge. They both had an understanding of what had to be done before winter, such as windows, siding, and porch boards and railing that needed to be replaced, and what things could be done year-long, such as hanging interior doors, paint, and trim.

  Without discussing the reason why, they both avoided the upstairs. But the dormer had to be addressed. The special-size window Caleb had gone into town to order the day of Peter’s accident was still waiting to be installed.

  Daed held the section of clapboard siding in place while Caleb hammered the nail. A fallen tree limb had hit the side of the house during a past lightning storm. “That tree is probably nett going to survive. It took a direct hit.”

  Caleb inspected the burned marks on the tree where the lightning had branded it. “It’d be a shame to take it down.” He recalled the hot days he spent eating his lunch in the shade.

  “It’ll continue to be a hazard as it dies off and limbs fall.”

  Caleb nodded.

  “Once it’s down, we could haul it to the mill and have it lumbered.” Daed studied the tree, probably figuring out how many eight-foot sections looked straight.

  Caleb wasn’t sure his leg was up to the task. It was one thing to do small odd jobs, but taking down an oak over a hundred feet tall was another thing. Swinging an ax took balance, and he wasn’t that steady on his feet today. He’d caught himself twice from falling while hanging off the ladder, caulking windows.

  “I agree. But I think that project is for another day.” And more workers.

  His father shifted his gaze from the tree over to the boarded-up dormer window opening. “I guess it’s time to install that window.”

  Caleb wasn’t sure he was ready to tackle such a huge project mentally or physically. His daed hadn’t been upstairs, hadn’t been in the room where Peter . . .

  “I know
being back at the haus you were working on with Peter is hard,” his father said. “For me too. If I hadn’t been working in the field, racing rain clouds, I would have been able to lend a hand.” He nudged a fallen branch with the toe of his boot. “I knew Peter wasn’t cut out to do construction. He didn’t have your skill. Your math is better than all of us put together.”

  Caleb had waited all his life to hear his father say he approved of him.

  “I always wanted Peter to be more like you. Instead, I think mei domineering way pushed him to jump the fence. Soured him toward God. That’s why when mei prodigal sohn returned, I wanted him to do well.”

  “I shouldn’t have been short-tempered with him,” Caleb said. “I was upset at him for messing up the window opening when I should have been the one to do it. It was mei mistake too.”

  His father looked at the house, seemingly studying every piece of lumber. “I’ve been wanting to see you finish this haus.”

  “Jah, I know. You want me back in construction.”

  “Nay, sohn, I wanted you to work through Peter’s death. I didn’t want you stuck in the muck and mire that held me.” Daed rubbed his beard. “If you’re set on being a farmer, I’ll support your decision.”

  Caleb twisted to face his father. “What?”

  Daed held his gaze. “You deserve happiness, sohn.”

  “Danki, that means a lot.” Understated, but with his daed, it was best to keep emotions at bay.

  Daed patted Caleb’s shoulder, his grasp strong and reassuring of what he said. “You mean a lot to me, sohn. I’m proud of you—always have been. Even when I was lost in my grief and anger, I was still so proud.”

  His father’s words replayed in Caleb’s mind before he said them out loud. “You’re proud of me?”

  “Always.” Daed released Caleb’s shoulder, his eyes flickering with tears as he redirected his attention to the house. “Well, are you ready to tackle that window?”

  A buggy clattering down the road drew Caleb’s attention. He recognized his mother’s horse as it approached the driveway. “I think lunch just arrived.”

  “Gut timing. We can figure out a plan for the window while we eat.” Daed headed toward the buggy.

  Caleb hobbled behind him but stopped at the side porch to lean against the railing. His leg was getting stiffer, which was making it difficult to walk a long stretch. He set the hammer on the porch, and as he was removing his leather work gloves, he glimpsed a woman with her winter bonnet covering her face getting out of the passenger side of the buggy.

  Darleen. Why did his mother have to be so relentless?

  “Caleb!”

  He heard Stephen call out his name before he spotted the boy running around the backside of the buggy. Stephen greeted him with a leg hug that nearly knocked Caleb over, but he didn’t care.

  “Hello, Caleb,” Jonica said.

  “I thought . . .”

  She shook her head.

  “Stephen,” his mother said, “I’ll need your help unloading the food.”

  “Coming.” The boy scurried toward the buggy.

  His parents chitchatting with Stephen about what foods he liked was a sweet sound to Caleb’s ears. He would have never believed his mother would come around so quickly. And though he had prayed that Jonica wouldn’t marry Ephraim, he knew she was the only one who could make that decision. Nothing he said or did would change her mind.

  “I should probably help your mamm get lunch ready,” Jonica said.

  Caleb glanced at his father brushing snow off the picnic table and his mother directing Stephen where to take his corner of the large section of cloth. “Let’s let them enjoy Stephen.”

  Jonica gazed at the threesome. “They have warmed up to him.”

  “Something tells me that Stephen can warm the coldest heart.” Caleb motioned for her to follow him up the porch steps. “Do you want to see what I’m working on?”

  “Jah.” She trailed him into the house, her gaze dancing around, taking in the open sitting room. “This is beautiful.”

  “I’m going to put a woodstove where the fireplace is.” He took her hand and led her down the hall where they were free of being seen through a window.

  “How’s your leg?”

  “Let’s nett talk about that.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. “I was worried you were going to marry Ephraim.” He trailed kisses from her lips to her cheek to her neck.

  “I don’t want to talk about him.” She brought her hands to his face and guided his lips back to hers.

  Caleb’s leg wobbled. He didn’t want to ruin the moment, but feeling his leg ready to collapse any second he broke from the kiss. “Do you want to see the rest of the haus?”

  “Um . . .”

  “Neither do I.” He pressed her against the wall, and feeling her warm, raspy breaths against his face, he kissed her again.

  “Mamm.” Stephen’s voice filtering through the open door broke their kiss.

  “Time to eat,” his mother added.

  “We’d better go before they come looking for us,” he said, struggling to even out his balance. Thankfully, Jonica was too busy fiddling with the few strands of hair that had come loose from her kapp to notice his stagger.

  They joined his parents and Stephen at the picnic table.

  Mamm passed Jonica a peanut butter sandwich. “How do you like the haus, Jonica?”

  “I think it’s beautiful.” She looked at the house, smiling until her gaze stopped on the dormer.

  “I have the window,” Caleb said. “Daed and I were planning to install it when you all arrived.”

  Stephen lowered his sandwich. “Can I help?”

  “Nett on the window. It’s too dangerous. But there’s plenty of other things for you to help with on another day.”

  “Like what?”

  “We need to install baseboards in the sitting room, do some drywall work in the bedrooms, and the kitchen needs a coat of paint.”

  Stephen giggled. “I don’t know what any of that is.”

  “I’ll teach you,” Caleb said.

  Daed reached for another sandwich. “Me too.”

  The conversation shifted to horses with Stephen asking Daed what the difference was between plow and buggy horses. His mother and Jonica talked about needlework and recipes and nothing could take Caleb’s moment of happiness away.

  At the end of the meal, the women cleaned up the area while Caleb and his father unwrapped the packing material from around the window.

  Caleb leaned the ladder against the side of the house and, with his tools tucked in his tool belt, started up the ladder. Now that Jonica hadn’t left town, he was eager to finish the house. He took a step and paused, took another and paused. If only his leg would cooperate better.

  “Stephen!” Jonica yelled. “You get down. Right this instant!”

  Caleb looked down and found Stephen had started to climb up behind him.

  “I can’t. I’m scared.”

  Caleb came down to where Stephen was clinging to the ladder. “Just relax, Stephen. I’m going to help you get down.” Caleb maneuvered around him, then wrapped one arm around his midsection. “Let go of the rung. I have you.”

  Stephen released his hold.

  Caleb took the next few steps slow. The boy wasn’t heavy but his added weight was on Caleb’s wrong side. He’d made it a few feet from the ground when something snapped in his leg.

  His foot went out from under him and they slid the remainder of the feet down the ladder. Twisting his body so Stephen would land on Caleb instead of the ground sent excruciating pain ripping through his body.

  Jonica pulled Stephen off of him and checked him over.

  “Is he okay? Tell me Stephen is allrecht!” Caleb cried.

  “Lie still, Caleb,” Jonica said. “You’re bleeding.”

  Chapter 32

  Jonica, Stephen, and Caleb’s parents all stood at the same time when a woman in black scrubs entered the emergency room lobby and
called for anyone from the Schulmann family.

  “How is mei sohn?” Abraham asked.

  “The doctor was able to stop the bleeding, but he does need surgery on his leg. Caleb has asked that you all be allowed to come back to the room so you’re present when the surgeon is talking to him about his leg.” The woman led them to a curtained-off area at the far end of the department.

  Caleb smiled when the nurse pushed back the curtain.

  His mamm and daed went to one side of the bed, Jonica and Stephen to the other.

  “How are you, Stephen?” Caleb asked.

  “Mei elbow has a bruise.” He rotated his arm to show Caleb.

  “I’m sorry I dropped you.”

  “It’s okay. You didn’t mean to.” Stephen’s attention skipped around the room. “What’s that?” He pointed to a large machine next to the head of the bed.

  “I don’t know,” Caleb replied.

  Deborah grabbed her son’s hand. “Are you in pain?”

  He shook his head. “Nay, they gave me something that’s made me feel like I’m part of the mattress.”

  The curtain opened and a man in a long doctor’s coat came forward. “I’m your son’s surgeon, Dr. Reynolds. Caleb has asked that you be here when I speak with him about his leg.”

  “Did he break his leg when he fell?” Deborah asked.

  “I didn’t see any fractures on the X-rays. I’ll be repairing a ruptured tendon. Caleb said he’s been receiving treatment from Dr. Mallory for an injury that happened a couple of weeks ago.”

  “Caleb,” his mother sniffled. “I had no idea. Why didn’t you say something? I had you doing all that work around the haus and I didn’t know you were hurt.”

  “It’s okay, Mamm.”

  “Were you injured when you fell off the horse? I don’t remember much of that day,” his father said, then lowered his head. “The bullwhip . . .”

  “Daed, please. You didn’t know how the livestock would respond and neither did I. What’s done is done.”