“It wasn’t all bad,” she continued. “We were a tight nit community. I knew the name of every person in town and before everything went to shit there wasn’t any place I would have rather lived, but that was before I really understood that we were living a self-imposed prison sentence.”
She hugged her legs and frowned then fingered her anklet. “I knew since I was little that I was trans. Before the war they had ways of making it so that people like me, like us–” she corrected glancing at me. “–wouldn’t be forced to live life in the wrong body, but while the nesters did have access to some advanced medical technologies they didn’t have the resources to perform such a complicated procedure. So, I chose to live my life the best I could with the body that I had. It was hard, but with the support of my twin sister, Violet I managed to… God–” she stopped mid sentence to wipe tears from her eyes which had started to form she’d first mentioned her sisters name.
“Sorry,” she shook her head. “I don’t talk about Violet very much… It hurts just thinking about her, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t. The two of us were inseparable. She used to let me dress up in her clothes and sometimes I could almost forget that Jaysen even existed. When we were alone I could be Lillian without having to worry about anyone judging me. This…” she trailed off as her hands reached for her anklet. She undid the clasp then held it in front of her face. “It’s her hair… Dyssa, my symbiote, used the dna she found in the follicles to change me. In a strange way it’s almost like my sister was able to give me one last gift all these years after her death.”
I felt hot tears sting my cheeks and reached up to wipe them away. “How did she die?”
“The Qharr killed her along with everyone else I ever knew or cared about. It was about six years ago and I was only seventeen then. I never did find out how they found Safe Haven and they came on us before we could do anything about it. They started dropping bombs on from the sky in a destroyer and took out nearly half of the city with the initial bombardment. They sent troops in to finish off the rest. My sister and I were part of the group that survived to see the Hunters come. We ran but the bastards followed us through the city tunnels and when they finally caught up with us Violet took a phase bolt in the back.” Lily stopped to sob and I could tell that it took a great deal of effort just for her to continue. “She collapsed on top of me and I thought I was dead for sure, but I guess the gray skins must have thought they’d gotten me too because they passed us by without checking to see if I was still alive.”
“I’m not really sure how long I laid there pinned under my sister’s corpse too terrified to even move or open my eyes, but finally hunger forced me to crawl out. By then the Qharr had left and… I was alone. I tried search the ruins, but I couldn’t find a single living soul. I kind of lost it then. I didn’t know what to do so I just sort of wandered the place and I probably would have ended up dying of starvation if the resistance hadn’t rescued me. Pyramus was part of the crew that found me. I was wearing a dress at the time which is how he knew about me being trans.”
“Hold me.”
Her words came so suddenly and were spoken with such a soft whisper that if I hadn’t seen her lips move I might not have realized she was speaking. I inched across the bed and put my arms around her. She stiffened, but then she melted into my arms and began to weep into my shoulder. Neither of us spoke, and nothing else really seemed to matter as the minutes stretched into hours. I don’t remember falling asleep, but I must have because the night crept in on us nonetheless.
Chapter Six
I don’t know how long it was before the two of us finally woke up nor can I really say which of us came to first. I just remember coming awake and looking into those dazzling magenta eyes. They really were quite beautiful once you became accustomed to such a strange sight. After my own transformation the changes had been startling and every time that I looked in the mirror it had taken me a few seconds to realize that I was looking at my own reflection. Those bright eyes had certainly been one of the first things to stand out.
“You’re eyes,” Lily whispered and reached over to touch my face. “And hair.”
“Dammit,” I cursed and sat bolt upright. “Khala what the freaking hell did you do? Did you change my hair and eyes back?”
“More or less,” she said her illusionary form climbing up over the lip as if she’d come from the engine room.
“Hmm,” another voice pronounced in the distance then a moment later Dyssa appeared climbing up over the lip just like her mother had. “I like it.”
“Of course you do,” I glared at the two of them and folded my arms across my chest realizing as I did so that I was still naked. “Shit! You’re still not getting it after everything that’s happened, are you? It’s bad enough that you transformed me into a woman without my fucking permission. You could at least ask me before you change my hair and eyes, again. It’s my damn body or at least it was before this whole mess started!”
Khala didn’t answer and when she pursed her non-existent lips and shared a look with her daughter. I got the feeling that the pair were holding something back and I was about to confront them about it when Khala bit her lip and let out a long sigh.
“It is not something we typically discuss least of all with our hosts, but–” she paused giving off a slight shudder. “–given the circumstance I believe some illumination may be called for. When we were created it was feared that we might eventually rebel and our masters wanted to put in place certain measures in case that ever happened. One of the ways in which the Phyrr Lesch did this was to create a compulsion within the K’teth psyche.”
“Let me guess,” Lily said stretching her arms above her head before glancing at the two symbiotes. “The hair and eyes.”
“The hair is, yes. It makes it harder for us to hide within an unsuspecting host. It is something we can resist for short periods, but it is… unpleasant and painful. The compulsion was getting too hard for me to withstand. As far as the eyes, well, I think they look pretty.”
“Whatever,” I said closing my eyes and shaking my head. “Just… next time you make any changes talk to me about it. I don’t care if you have a built in compulsion or whatever the hell you want to call it. It’s my body and I have a right to know when you mess around with it.”
“Very well,” Khala said walking across the room to leer at Lily and I. “Since we are on the subject of changes, I thought perhaps you may wish to return to your original form.”
“I thought you needed a female body to reproduce.”
“I do,” Khala said, “but it will be a number of years before I’ll be able to birth another child and there’s no reason you can’t spend the intervening time in your ideal form.”
I was so surprised that I nearly choked. Not just because of her offer, but because of her final few words. I hadn’t really thought much about my change of sex for a while and I found myself confronted with a question I didn’t know the answer to. Was being female more desirable? There wasn’t anything wrong with being either male or female, but on a personal level I couldn’t decide which I would rather be. The more time I spent in my new form the more accustomed I became to it and in certain ways I was even starting to like it, but would I go back to being male? Would I even want to given the choice?
I glanced down at Lily and swallowed. I liked her, and hell I thought I might be falling for her, but Could I risk screwing our relationship up? If I took Khala up on her offer, what would become of us? Would she still be attracted to me? “I-I think I need some time to think about it.”
“–we’ve checked everywhere else on this ship!” a voice protested in the distance.
I blinked and glanced toward the overhang as a second voice, which sounded an awful lot like Becca spoke. “How are we supposed to get up there?”
I glanced at Lily, who shrugged and tossed me my bra and shirt.
“I think I can get up there. Give me a boost.” the first voice, which I was sure b
elonged to Kaya, demanded.
“Oh, hell,” I muttered under my breath then yelled “WAIT!” at the top of my lungs.
“Jeff?” Becca’s voice asked right about the same time that Kaya said, “Lexa”.
I finished fitting my bra then slipped my shirt over my head and dropped down to the ground at the edge of the overhang. “Ur, hi guys.” I blushed furiously. Even though I was wearing a shirt the feeling of the cold steel floor against my breasts was anything but comfortable and it was growing increasingly less so by the minute.
“Fuck, you scared the shit out of me.” Kaya glared up at me then took a deep breath and closed her eyes before looking back up at me. “So I was right you guys were up there, but why? What the fuck is up there anyway?”
I bit my lip and brushed the hair away from my face and noticed as I did that it had to be at least thirty centimeters long. I cursed Khala under my breath, but then stopped abruptly when I realized Kaya and Becca were still staring up at me. “Uh, the engineers quarters.”
Neither Becca nor Kaya commented on the changes to my hair, but it was pretty obvious they’d noticed them. Becca didn’t seem to be able to look away, but when she opened her mouth to speak Kaya beat her to it. “Is Lily up there too?”
“Um, yeah.” I bit my lip and averted my eyes. “We were, uh, looking for some privacy.”
“Oh,” Becca said looking up at me with wide eyes. “You two were… um… well, I mean good for you.”
“Oh for hell sakes,” Kaya said rolling her eyes at Becca before she looked back up at me. “Should have figured that was what you two were up to with the way you’ve been batting eyes at each other. Now, would you get the fuck down here? Our food supplies are getting really low and I want you two to help comb the forest for possible food sources.”
“Right, I’ll rouse Lily and we’ll be down soon,” I replied.
“Fuck, just hurry, would you? You really don’t want me coming up there, do you?” Kaya growled then rounded on my sister. “Come on Becca. We’ll wait for them in the hallway.”
Becca glanced back up at me, glared at Kaya as she stormed away, and then followed her out of the room. “Well someone’s in a mood,” I muttered then climbed back to my feet and glanced back just in time to find Lily yawning and stretching her arms up over her head.
“Kaya wants us to help look for supplies,” I said staring at her bare breasts intently. It could have just been me, but I swear they were just a little bigger than they’d been the previous night.
She nodded and produced another yawn then crawl across the floor to pick up my panties. She stared at them, then glanced at my bare legs, let out a long sigh and tossed it to me. “I know. I heard everything. She didn’t sound too happy.”
I snatched them out of the air then slipped them on then shook my head. “I’d prefer she didn’t see us naked. That would be… awkward. Probably ought to hurry before she makes good on her threat to come up here.”
“She probably would too,” Lily said then gave slight shudder as she glanced over her shoulder at me. “We better hurry.”
I nodded and quickly grabbed my pants dressing myself the rest of the way in just a few short minutes. Lily wasn’t very far behind and when the two of us were finished we leapt down over the edge back into engine room on our way to rendezvous with the others.
“Jesus Kaya, it’s not even bright out!” Farris protested rubbing at his eyes as he stumbled down the ship’s ramp.
“It’s bright enough,” she stated flatly then turned to look on the whole group which, upon Farris’s arrival, was finally complete. The sun had only just started to rise and, while it was still fairly dark it was growing brighter by the minute.
“We’re not up any earlier than we would be if we were back at the compound,” Rayland observed.
“Ah, hell.” Farris ran a hand through his stringy blond hair just before a loud yawn escaped his thing lips. “Well you got us here. What do you want anyway?”
“We need supplies. We’ve got enough to last us through the week, probably longer if we ration, but I’d rather avoid it if we can.” Kaya replied. “We’re going to split into small groups and search the forest for food.
“Lexa, Lily and Becca I want you three to search in that direction,” she paused to point her finger to the right then pointed left and glanced at Farris. You and the doctor go in that direction and Rayland and I will search in that area directly behind us. We’ll all meet back here in, let’s say two hours. Bring anything back you think might be edible or any other supplies we could use. We can go through it once we’re back and makes sure no one has picked anything harmful up.”
“I’m sure we can find a few things by foraging, but we’ll definitely need something a little hardier than some half-dead berries and edible leaves. We need to find some wild game or this is going to be a much shorter stay than you intended. I just wish I had my rifle from back home none of the weapons you guys have are suited for hunting,” Rayland said sporting a smile that somehow managed to convey a sense of annoyance.
“Well, there is a high powered phase rifle I found stashed away on the ship while you guys were raiding the compound. It’s pretty bulky, but it shoots a narrow beam which I think would work well for your purposes. I might be able to make less cumbersome if we trim down the stock and fit a firing mechanism from a smaller gun onto it,” Lily mussed messaging her chin and brought it away suddenly as if surprised by something she’d found there. A small smile touched the corner of her lips just before she mouthed the words ‘no goatee’.
“How long to make the modifications?” Kaya asked.
“A few hours possibly. I had a lot of free time when the doctor and I were alone on the ship so I’ve already bypassed the bio-lock along with a good number of the other weapons I found on the ship. It shouldn’t be too difficult to trim the stock down; I spotted a power saw in the supply closet that should work nicely. The big problem is going to be modifying the damn firing mechanism. Qharr weapons are modular and most of the time it’s pretty easy to swap out parts. Unfortunately, none of the pieces I have available are interchangeable with that monster. The trigger I’m thinking of fitting onto the gun will need some modification before I can get it to work.”
“Fine, you stay and work on that and hopefully once we’re back, Rayland’ll be able to take the thing and out and get us some damn meat.” Kaya grimaced then bit her lips as she stared at Becca and I. “Shit, well I guess neither one of you knows much about foraging for food. Lexa you go with the Doctor and Becca you go with Farris.”
Lily went back into the ship and the rest of us spread out into our assigned directions.
“Vakrexid is hoping to find some mushrooms! I am most fond of making broth from them particularly those of the more psychoactive variety!” The doctor shook then lumbered up a game path and out of sight.
I shook my head and grinned as I ran after him. I had no idea what psychoactive meant, but knowing the doctor I was sure I didn’t want to find out. I found him hunched near the ground examining a tall plant with long stocks and light purple flowers. “This is most fortunate,” Vakrexid tooted. “This appears to be Salsify! Hand Vakrexid the bag!”
I did as he suggested and watched as he pulled the entire plant, roots and all from the ground and slipped it into the bag. The doctor sprang to his feet like a frog leaping onto a lily pad and shambled off down the path. I followed after him and let out a wary sigh. It was going to be a long two hours that much was for sure…
The second night, a Qharr destroyer with inquisitorial markings passed overhead, and it had been a very tense moment as it zoomed across the sky above us. Fortunately, it did not pause and continued on its way. The next day the sky was filled with ships all of which passed us by without showing signs of having ever detected us. We craned our necks and watched as each of the vehicles passed and let out a collective sigh of relief when they departed. We had to replace
dying foliage on the ship twice more before the seventh day, but we were confident that we had managed to escape the patrols unnoticed. The number of ships dwindled to the occasional transport and our priorities eventually shifted to more immediate concerns, like food.
Our first trip out proved to be of limited success, but fortunately the subsequent one was more successful. Lily had been able to modify the weapon, and although the damned thing was heavy and cumbersome, it did its job pretty well. We managed to bring in some small game over the course of the first week, but none of it would be enough to sustain us for more than a single meal. Fortunately, on the ninth night Rayland hit pay dirt, returning with the carcass of a large moose.
It was a heavy haul, one which required both Lily and me to pitch in. It was well within my abilities to lift the animal, but its weight wasn’t very evenly distributed. It was far too awkward of a load for me to lift unassisted. I certainly didn’t enjoy preparing the meat, but as head cook back at the compound I’d butchered, scalded, plucked, skinned, drained, boiled, bled and eviscerated my fair share of both alien and earth animals. Preparing the moose was made harder by the sheer size of the beast, but in many ways it far less gruesome than some of the usual fair.
Things settled into a sort of routine and the time seemed to slow to a crawl. The weather was a bit sporadic and switched from cold and wet to sunny and pleasant at the drop of a hat. Our days were spent out in the forest and we only returned for meals and to rest for the night. It was nice being able to roam about freely even if that freedom was just an illusion. We would never be truly free until our oppressors were banished from Earth.
Over the next few weeks, Lily gradually took on more curves until she finally hit a plateau and the changes ceased. She seemed happy with the final stages of her transformation, and I couldn’t complain either, but mainly I was just glad for her. Her body finally matched her mind and in so many ways she had been liberated. It showed. She was happier and more outgoing than she’d ever been since I met her and she stopped retreating into her own little world. It’s not that she still didn’t play with her toys, she was almost always fiddling with some little gadget, but she didn’t let it keep her from socializing as she once would have.
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