I Hear They Burn for Murder

by J L Aarne

  It would be such a fucking tragedy if you were wasted, Rainer said, voice slithering through Ezekiel’s mind, tempting him.

  Who said the game had really changed at all? Maybe it hadn’t. Maybe this was what it felt like when there was a draw.

  Ezekiel’s cell phone rang and startled him. He checked it, saw that it was Jacob and declined the call. Then he stuffed Rainer’s things back into the duffel bag and returned it to the back of the closet.

  He had just stowed the bag away and left the bedroom when he heard the key in the lock of the front door. It opened and Rainer entered the apartment, a cigarette in his mouth, carrying a paper cup of coffee. He noticed Ezekiel walking toward him down the hallway and knew he had not been in the bathroom. He tapped his cigarette out in an ashtray on the table.

  “Good afternoon,” Rainer said.

  “Hey,” Ezekiel said. “How was work?”

  Rainer eyed him thoughtfully in silence for a moment then smiled, amused by how domestic they sounded and pleased that Ezekiel was still there. “They’re reading Harlan Ellison and surprise, surprise, they don’t get it. I don’t know how many times I heard that today. I can’t wait until we move on to novels. Tom Sawyer should be especially thrilling.”

  “And controversial,” Ezekiel said, stepping in close to him.

  Rainer smiled up at him and moved into him until they were standing chest to chest. He put his palm flat to Ezekiel’s chest and ran his hand up over an elaborate tattoo of a skull decorated with flowers like Día de los Muertos candy, stroked his fingers up the side of his neck and threaded them through his hair. The freedom to touch him like that was still new and perhaps that was some of the thrill, but the desire to touch him and have him had not vanished or diminished with having him as it did with other casual sexual partners Rainer had had over the years. He found that interesting though not very surprising. Unlike most men and women Rainer had wanted before, he had coveted Ezekiel for a long time.

  Ezekiel had not come to him easily. Rainer would not easily let him go.

  “What did you do today?” Rainer asked.

  “Worked,” Ezekiel said. Without moving away from him he gestured vaguely back toward the living room where his laptop sat on the coffee table. “I still have a lot to do.”

  “Uh-huh, and what were you doing just before I came in?”

  Ezekiel smiled slowly and leaned toward him, their breath mingling, mouths almost touching and said softly, “You know exactly what I was doing.”

  “Yeah, and I don’t care,” Rainer said, smiling against his lips. “You know and I know that you know and isn’t it exciting?”

  He pulled Ezekiel that last bit of distance and kissed him. Ezekiel moved toward him into the kiss, backing him up a little down the hallway. He reached for him and wrapped his arms around Rainer’s waist, pulling him in tight against his body as he deepened the kiss with a growl. Rainer pulled out of the kiss to catch his breath and Ezekiel pressed his lips to his cheek, licked him with his rasping tongue and nipped the curve of his jaw.

  “I don’t know if I should be disturbing you at your work,” Rainer teased, contradicting his own words by pushing his hands beneath the waist of Ezekiel’s pants. “Catching those bad guys is so very important.”

  Ezekiel muttered something that sounded like agreement into his skin, but he was backing Rainer past the bathroom toward the bedroom. He pushed the door open and Rainer pulled away from him enough to turn around and lead him to the bed.

  They went slower that time because Rainer was still sore from the previous night. They used lube instead of oil and when Ezekiel got a little too rough, Rainer hissed at him to do it gently and he did. The cell phone in the pocket of Ezekiel’s sweats rang once from the floor, but was ignored.

  Later, Ezekiel got up from the bed, showered and went back to work. Rainer lay there, smug and pleased with himself, listening to the sound of the TV in the living room and Ezekiel’s voice as he talked on the phone. Pogo wandered into the bedroom to investigate the whereabouts of his human and hopped up on the bed to sniff at Rainer and mew at him inquisitively.

  What is the meaning of all this? Rainer imagined him asking. Well, if Pogo had been a more intelligent animal than he was, he might have asked something like that. That was the gist of it in any case.

  “Hello,” Rainer said, petting the cat’s head. Pogo bumped his forehead against Rainer’s chin and purred. “I need to call Thomas. He should not drop by unexpectedly and find the good agent half naked in my living room. That would go badly.”

  Pogo purred his agreement and Rainer reached over on the nightstand for the landline phone. He dialed Thomas’s number. Then he wondered if he would even be awake so early in the afternoon, but he let it ring anyway.

  When Thomas picked up he sounded irritable and his voice was slightly deeper from sleep. “What, Rainer?”

  “I woke you up, didn’t I?” Rainer asked.

  “Yeah. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  Thomas sighed. “Then why are you calling me at… not even three o’clock?”

  “Because we need to talk.”

  “Oh, God. What’s happening?” There was a shuffling sound on the other end of the phone as Thomas sat up. “Wait, don’t tell me: You’re pregnant and it isn’t mine.”

  “Don’t be disgusting, Thomas.”

  “Whatever, Rainer. Tell me what’s going on.”

  “So, you remember the FBI agent who was asking questions about me?”

  “How could I forget? He’s such a charming individual.”

  “Well, I may have… done something you’re probably going to despise. Especially considering how much you dislike the man.”

  “I fucking hate that guy,” Thomas said instantly. “Wait, what did you do? Did you kill him?”

  “Come on, Thomas. Would you really be upset if I killed him?” Rainer asked.

  It didn’t take much for Thomas to conclude what exactly he was getting at after that. He cursed and made a loud snarling sound in Rainer’s ear. “You fucked him? That guy? Rainer, that fucking guy is trying to pin a bunch of murders on you, lock you up in prison and throw away the goddamn key. What the hell is wrong with you? You’re dumber than your retarded cat.”

  Rainer glanced over at Pogo, who was grooming himself with one leg stretched in the air over his head. The cat licked his ass and made a disgusted face at whatever he had tasted then continued to lick himself.

  “I don’t think I am, Thomas,” Rainer said. “Besides, it’s not like that anymore.”

  “Not like what?” Thomas demanded. “He’s not trying to arrest you anymore?”

  “No, I don’t think so.”

  “Oh, well, forgive me then. Never mind. Carry on fucking the guy, who am I to question it. Clearly, it is meant to be.”

  “Thomas, don’t be angry. I just thought you should know. I do try to consider such things. It’s not easy for me.”

  “Uh-huh. How do you know Agent Dickface isn’t setting you up? You keep stuff in that apartment, Rainer. I don’t have to see it to know that it’s there. He could be doing you just to get access to your place and evidence or something.”

  “That’s not how it works,” Rainer said. Thomas could not be expected to know that, but Rainer wasn’t going to try explaining it to him either. He would only yell at him more and call him stupid again.

  “How the fuck do you know that in his mind that isn’t exactly how it works? He’s a Fed, Rainer.”

  “Because I know,” Rainer said, a touch of real annoyance in his voice.

  “Fine. Good for you. Don’t be surprised when the guy fucking arrests you though,” Thomas said.

  He abruptly hung up the phone and Rainer stared at the handset as the dial-tone began to sound. He called Thomas back.

  Thomas answered it on the second ring. “What?”

  “Do you want me to stop and make him leave?” Rainer asked. “Would that make you feel better, Thomas?”

 
“I don’t give a shit what you do, Rainer, just don’t go to prison,” Thomas said. “Now, I’m going to hang up. I don’t want to talk to you for a while.”

  Rainer didn’t like the sound of that. “But, Thomas—”

  “No, I’m mad at you. I’m hanging up,” Thomas said. “Don’t get arrested.”

  He hung up again and that time Rainer put the phone back on the cradle. He was still thinking about their conversation when he walked into the living room, where Ezekiel was typing at his computer. He leaned in the doorway and watched him for a minute.

  “So, who was on the phone?” Ezekiel asked.

  “No one,” Rainer said. “Thomas. Look, I’m hungry. Are you hungry?”

  “Sure, but there’s not much in this place to eat,” Ezekiel said. “And if we’re going out, I need clothes. I can’t go into work tomorrow in sweat pants and a button down shirt.”

  Rainer got his keys out of his messenger bag in the kitchen and headed for the door. “There’s a Walmart a few blocks over,” he said. “Come on. Put your shirt on and let’s go. You’ll fit right in.”

  At Walmart, Rainer was the one who did not fit in and they made a pretty ridiculous pair with Ezekiel in sweats, dress shirt and nice shiny shoes; Rainer in jeans and a pinstriped jacket. Ezekiel got a black T-shirt with short sleeves and one with long, a pair of jeans and a cheap pair of knock-off Converse sneakers. He also bought a fifteen dollar burner phone.

  He changed in the bathroom before they left the store and wore the short sleeves. The long sleeved shirt was what he would wear when he went to work the next day. With Rainer, he didn’t have to worry that someone he knew from work would drop by unexpectedly, so he didn’t bother to hide the ink.

  Rainer stood back and gave him an assessing once-over when he emerged from the bathroom. Ezekiel hadn’t shaved in a day, he had combed his hair but hadn’t put anything in it to make it stay down so in places it stuck up, and the shirt left his arms bare, revealing tattooed skin that went all the way to his wrists. He not only looked much too young to be an FBI agent, he no longer even looked like the sort of person who would want to be one.

  “Nice,” Rainer said. “All you need now is eyeliner.”

  Ezekiel experienced a momentary twinge of guilt as that made him think of Jacob, but he brushed the feeling aside. “No,” he said.

  Rainer shrugged. He had no real interest in making him wear eyeliner, he just looked like the type who might wear eyeliner now. “Perhaps some black nail polish with some chips in it. You’d fit right in at a Black Flag concert.”

  Ezekiel had seen Black Flag in concert back in the 80s, which he almost told Rainer. Then he didn’t.

  They left the store and had dinner at a diner that Rainer liked because he said they made the best cheeseburgers. They each ordered one and Ezekiel had to admit, they were pretty damn good. The best part was that Rainer didn’t care that he liked cheese on everything. Rainer himself had some of Ezekiel’s fries.

  “So, I guess I should ask if you want me to leave,” Ezekiel said as they were finishing their food. “You know, instead of just assuming I can stay.”

  Rainer drank some of his soda through a straw and considered him over the table. He finished chewing the last of his burger and wiped his fingers on a napkin. “Sure, and maybe you should tell me why you suddenly find yourself in need of a place to stay,” he said. “But you want to know something?”

  “What?” Ezekiel asked warily.

  He did not want to discuss Jacob with Rainer. He didn’t owe Rainer anything, especially not yet, and Jacob was separate; sacred. Jacob was his and discussing him with Rainer would indicate a level of intimacy and trust that Ezekiel was not comfortable with. If Rainer pushed him about why, Ezekiel would have to shoot him down.

  “I don’t give a shit,” Rainer said. “You want to tell me, fine. I’ll listen. But I don’t really care.” He slid out of the booth and stood up. “You can stay a few days. As long as you promise not to arrest me over anything you find.”

  Ezekiel got up and went with him to pay their check. “If I was going to arrest you, you would have been in handcuffs the moment you walked through the door.”

  “Which doesn’t sound like a completely awful way to spend a couple of hours, but I’d rather not find myself confined that way permanently,” Rainer said.

  Ezekiel’s eyebrows shot up. They paid for their food and he followed Rainer out of the restaurant, watching him closely for any indication that he was joking with him. Rainer noticed him staring and returned his look with an inquiring one of his own.

  “Seriously?” Ezekiel said.

  “What are we talking about?” Rainer asked.

  “Handcuffs. You’re into that?” Ezekiel asked.

  Rainer grinned. “You tell me, what do you think?”

  “I can handcuff you,” Ezekiel said. “You want me to handcuff you?”

  Rainer unlocked the car and they got in. “Do you want to handcuff me, Agent Herod?” he asked, lifting his eyebrows suggestively.

  Ezekiel would not consider it to be a hardship at all. “Maybe.”

  Rainer laughed and started the car. “Maybe later.”

  Chapter 40

  Ezekiel went in to the office the next day. He wore the long sleeved shirt there and changed into a suit he kept for emergencies after he arrived. He had several voice messages on his phone and a message on his desk to call Jacob ASAP. He returned the few calls that were work related and deleted Jacob’s without listening to them when he heard his voice.

  A few minutes before seven that evening, Ezekiel was getting ready to leave and head back to Rainer’s place when he looked at his cell phone and saw the number of voicemails he had waiting for him from Jacob. He really did consider deleting them all unheard for a second, but only for a second. Then he sighed and put the phone to his ear to listen to the first one.

  The messages started angry and bitter, but gradually Jacob sounded more worried and upset than angry. By the last one, he was pleading with Ezekiel to talk to him, to come home, and he sounded like he was trying not to cry and failing.

  “I know you don’t want to talk to me right now. I’ve been trying to get hold of you since you left the other night, so I know. I hate that we left things like that though and I still don’t understand why—but fine. I… I want to try to fix it. Zeke, goddamn it, if you’re leaving me, the least you can do is tell me to my face instead of hiding from me like this. Come home.”

  Ezekiel put the phone in his pocket and stared down at his fingers spread on top of his desk. The polished top was reflective as a mirror and he could see the blurry distant shape of his face in it. He wasn’t angry anymore. Just that quick, the anger dissipated and he was left feeling hollow, extremely tired and resigned to what came next. He wasn’t leaving Jacob. For a day, yes, even for two, but he wouldn’t leave him. He couldn’t. Listening to his voice crack and grow thick with tears was enough to unman him and draw Ezekiel back to him. He had known all along that it would be.

  He sighed and cursed under his breath. Then he gathered his things and left the office. As he walked to the elevators, he used the phone he’d bought at Walmart to call Rainer.

  “Hello?” Rainer said. In the background, Ezekiel could hear the tinny sound of television voices.

  “I’m not coming back tonight,” Ezekiel said.

  There was a silent pause. Then Rainer said, “Okay.”

  Ezekiel punched the elevator button to take him down to the ground floor. “Don’t you want to ask me why?”

  “Do you want me to ask you why?” Rainer asked.

  Ezekiel did not believe that Rainer was actually so agreeable, which could only mean that he genuinely did not care to know why. He considered then what it meant that he felt compelled to call Rainer and explain himself to him when Rainer gave no sign that he expected much of anything from Ezekiel. It indicated a feeling of intimacy with him, at least on Ezekiel’s part, which went beyond the casually sexual.

&nb
sp; “I have to go home,” Ezekiel said. The elevator arrived and he got on. “There’s something I have to take care of. Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow. Or in a couple of days, depending on how things go.”

  “All right,” Rainer said. “I was looking forward to confession time. It’s been a while. I miss it.”

  Ezekiel smiled. “Sorry. I’ll come by later though.”

  “Sure,” Rainer said. “I was thinking earlier. It would be really fun to watch one while sitting in your lap.”

  Ezekiel blinked and waited for the punch-line. None was forthcoming so he said, “And…?”

  “I would be naked while this happened,” Rainer said. “So would you. That’s the fun part.”

  Ezekiel coughed out a laugh. “Wow, so I’m going to have that in my head now. Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome. Have fun doing whatever it is you’re doing. Goodnight.”

  Rainer hung up and Ezekiel returned the phone to his pocket as he got off the elevator and left the building.

  He drove home, parked in the driveway then sat in the car for several minutes looking at the house. The lights were on in the kitchen downstairs and he watched Jacob pass in front of the windows carrying a bottle in one hand, which he tipped up and drank from as he moved out of sight.

  Good, Ezekiel thought. This might be easier on them both if at least one of them was drunk.

  His cell phone chimed, alerting him of a text message. It was Jacob:

  Com in the hose or go awy

  Ezekiel got out of the car and went into the house. He stopped in the foyer and looked around at the mess. There were papers flung on the floor with footprint marks in what looked like both dirt and oddly, grape juice. In one corner near the stairs a plate lay in pieces where it had been dropped or thrown. All of the coats usually on the coat rack near the door were on the floor in a pile.

  “Jacob?” Ezekiel called, walking into the house.