The Return of Her Lost Knight

by Melissa Oliver

  ‘Then you returned to England?’

  He nodded. ‘Isabel offered us the chance to train as part of the de Clancey retinue of knights. It has been gruelling, challenging and incredibly difficult, but well worth the hardship. For one thing I had to retrain using my left hand since I could no longer use my right as effectively as before. I could barely grip a sword in that hand, let alone try to wield a sword.’

  ‘That must have been extremely difficult.’

  ‘I admit that it was challenging. Yet learning the art of combat from men like William Geraint and Hugh de Villiers has been, and still is, a great honour for me.’

  ‘I am sure it has.’

  ‘That’s why I hate the idea that I could somehow let them down, Gwen. After everything that has happened that damn niggle, that I’m not good enough, has never seemed to have left me.’ He expelled a deep breath.

  That incessant disapproval from his father, from a young age, had left its mark no matter how much Ralph tried to eradicate it. His sire had constantly berated him for not being as good as other young men. Even now Ralph could recall that veneer of dissatisfaction in his head.

  But why in God’s name had he exposed himself, allowing his inner thoughts to be disclosed so carelessly to this woman whom he had once cared so much about? He screwed his eyes shut in embarrassment.

  ‘That is probably because you are still carrying far too much on your shoulders. You always have, Ralph.’

  And then he remembered why. Why he had always sought Gwen’s opinions on different matters when they were younger. Why he had always wanted to gain her counsel. Why he always enjoyed moments where they could just unburden themselves to one another. Because she had so much faith and belief in him.

  ‘You have many people here, Ralph de Kinnerton, who care for you and wish to see you to succeed. Lord and Lady de Clancey, your friend Sir Thomas Lovent... And even me. But you need to believe in yourself. Believe in your ability to be able to succeed.’

  Ralph opened his eyes and stared at her in wonder...and then his eyes slowly travelled from her eyes to where her hand was inadvertently caressing his arm in comfort.

  God, but she was lovely. This close he could see the silvery-grey flecks in her blue eyes looking at him with concern. This close her lush lips turned up slightly as a pink blush tinted her cheeks, spreading to her neck. This close her delicate floral scent enveloped him, reminding him of another time and place. He expelled another breath through his teeth, his good hand extending and covering hers. She stilled and blinked in surprise as his eyes dropped to her lips again.

  Ralph had to remind himself that she had expressed a covenant wish to be a holy woman, a nun. He should respect her wishes, yet he found himself leaning towards her and bending his head. Closer and closer. Mayhap, just one kiss and if she pulled away then he would know that his attentions were unwelcome.

  But Gwen didn’t move. Her breathing came in quick, warm bursts as she tilted her head and met his eyes. There was pain, uncertainty but also longing. One that matched his own. He caressed her bottom lip with the pad of his thumb and felt her tremble before she closed her eyes in anticipation.

  He moved in eagerly to cover her lips. Yes, just one kiss.

  ‘Well, that went as badly as it possibly could.’ Tom’s voice carried through as he sauntered into the tent. ‘What happened was quite—’ He stopped speaking and looked from Gwen to Ralph as they pulled apart.

  ‘I really should be going.’ She tugged the hood of her cloak forward and made her way out so quickly and clumsily that she practically collided with Tom.

  Ralph and Tom stared at the entrance to the tent, flapping for a long moment.

  ‘Do not dare to say anything.’

  ‘What about exactly, my friend?’ A sheepish smile curled around Tom’s lips. ‘Your performance earlier in the training or what you were just about to do here with the fair lady?’

  ‘Nothing was about to happen.’

  ‘Ah, apologies. It must have been my imagination.’

  ‘Yes.’ Ralph stretched out his arms over his head. ‘It must have.’

  ‘So it would seem.’ Tom grinned. ‘And I am glad that you have reconciled whatever differences you may have had with Lady Gwenllian. I gather you have told her your sorry tale.’

  ‘And what if I have?’

  ‘Then it would go far to explain why I almost found her about to express her sympathies in the most amorous of ways.’

  ‘Damn it, Tom, that is not funny. And I will not have Gwen subject to your amusement.’

  ‘Very well, but let us concede that it is a little funny.’

  ‘Let’s not.’

  ‘Not even a little bit?’

  ‘No.’

  Tom grabbed an apple from the coffer and took a big bite. ‘Well, in that case, I’ll say no more on the matter.’

  ‘Good. Now, I take it that Will Geraint has summoned me?’

  ‘He has and he wants you in full armour, so expect another gruelling round.’

  Ralph groaned, his body still throbbing in pain from the last round of practice.

  ‘God, but this is going to be a long day.’

  ‘Will wants to go through a few new techniques that he believes may suit your gait.’ Tom helped him put on each layer of clothing, until he finally tied and secured his hauberk chain and handed the helmet.

  ‘And do you know who I shall be challenging?’

  ‘Yes.’ Tom turned around and slammed his fist against his chest ‘Me.’

  ‘Oh, Lord, no. What is William Geraint thinking?’

  ‘Come now it’s not as bad as that. You do know that I shall allow you a fighting chance.’ Tom grinned. ‘And it’s not as though I’m going to tell Will or Isabel what almost happened here.’

  ‘I am warning you that if you say just one word about this...’

  ‘Yes, I know, but try to harness that aggression to the field, my friend.’ Tom slapped him on his back as they both moved to leave the tent. ‘And I said I am not going to say anything.’

  ‘As long as we’re clear.’ Ralph picked up his sword. ‘Nothing happened here.’

  ‘Whatever you say.’

  Chapter Nine

  Ralph persevered to sharpen his skills during the following day of strenuous training. Yet no matter how hard or diligently he worked, Gwen was never far from his thoughts. Her voice a constant echo in his ears.

  ‘You are still carrying far too much on your shoulders.’

  It was true, of course, but not something that he could readily shed. The weight of duty and expectation lay heavy on his shoulders. Besides, Ralph did not know how to break from those bonds, even if he’d wanted to.

  What he had wanted, however, was a taste of her lips. Even the following day after their frank discussion alone in his tent, Ralph could not stop thinking about how much he craved Gwen...still...after all this time.

  What kind of a man was he to have such base thoughts about a woman he had only just re-established an old friendship with? Especially a woman who had declared that she wanted to take the veil. God’s breath, but none of it stopped Ralph from thinking about how he had almost kissed her and still longed to. Even though he was still baffled by the decisions she took six years ago and no closer to understanding how she believed she had protected him.

  It was a blessing that Tom had walked into the tent when he had, since an entanglement with Gwen was not something Ralph needed to delve into. Nor could he imagine that it would be welcomed by the lady herself after a little reflection.

  It had been wise of her to keep away—for his peace of mind and for hers. Ralph had not seen Gwen again properly, only snatched a glimpse in the hall during the evening feast. Yet he’d trailed her, when she was alone or with only her companion. He needed to make sure that she was safe and protected, especially from men like his cous
in. He knew there was more to her association with Stephen and that whatever it was, was disagreeable and unpleasant.

  ‘I think that would be it for this morning.’ He nodded at Tom, who grabbed his sword from him. God, but the helmet felt heavy today.

  ‘Good, as I need to break my fast...oh, and Will said he had a surprise for you this afternoon.’

  ‘I can hardly wait,’ Ralph said wryly.

  ‘And neither can I, for it shall be something that would defy everything that...ah, hell’s teeth!’

  ‘What is it?’

  Tom flicked his head around, his eyes filled with unease. ‘Best keep that helmet on as your cousin is heading this way.’

  ‘What? Where?’ Ralph spun around, his heart beating furiously in his chest. ‘Pull your hood forward, damn it. Stephen believes that he’s about to parley with you, remember?

  ‘As if I could forget,’ Tom hissed, tugging it over and drooping his head low to hide his face.

  ‘Well, well, Thomas Lovent, just the fellow I wanted to see,’ Stephen le Gross sneered as he strolled over to them with one of his men in tow.

  Ralph inclined his head, when what he would rather do was knock the bastard to the ground after everything he had done. Especially since he had almost accosted Gwen in the darkness of the stairwell only just a few nights ago. God, but it still made his blood roar that a man would use such intimidation against a woman like Gwen in the way Stephen had.

  Ralph, however, kept his head with the metal helmet covering it, concealing his identity.

  ‘I came to give you a fair warning, Sir Thomas,’ his cousin spat. ‘I have been noticing the way you stalk after Lady Gwenllian ferch Hywel and I’m here to tell you that I want you to disengage from your pursuit. The lady is my betrothed or, rather, she soon will be and I don’t want you anywhere near her. I hope we understand each other?’

  Ralph inclined his head again, but just as Stephen turned to go, he bent low and swung his shield under him, catching his cousin’s ankle and making him hurtle to the ground. He should not have done it, as it only served to provoke the man. But the presumptuous way in which his reprehensible cousin had spoken about Gwen as if she were his property, as if she were truly his betrothed, well... Ralph just could not help himself.

  Stephen got up, his face puce with anger as Ralph, with Tom beside him, stepped forward. God, but he would never cower to this man.

  ‘God’s breath...’ his cousin barked, pointing the edge of his drawn dagger towards them. ‘I’ll let that go, but only this one time. Heed my warning, Lovent, and leave the lady alone.’

  He got to his feet and strode away in obvious fury at being made to look a fool. Even so, Stephen did not have to fall to the ground to accomplish that.

  Tom pulled his hood off his face. ‘There goes another to add to my ever-growing list of adversaries, chief among them Lady Gwenllian’s companion.’

  Ralph’s brows shot up. It was on Ralph’s mind to ask about the nature of the possible animosity that existed between Gwen’s pretty young friend Brida and Tom, but thought better of it. After all, it was not his business to pry into another man’s situation unless he was asked.

  ‘I am exceedingly sorry to put you in this position, Tom,’ he muttered.

  ‘Think nothing of it.’ He slapped him on his back. ‘What I’d like to know is how the hell you are even related to someone so execrable?’

  Ralph sighed, shaking his head. ‘I have no idea, my friend.’

  ‘He’s dangerous. More so now that he has his eyes on me. I’ll do my best to distract him, but you must take care, Ralph. He cannot know that you’re alive. Not until it suits your interest or, rather, all of our interests.’

  ‘I know, especially as it also puts Gwen in danger if he knew.

  ‘Exactly.’

  ‘I thank you, Tom.’ Ralph watched Stephen le Gros’s retreating form before turning to his friend. ‘But by God, the day of reckoning with that bastard cannot come soon enough.’

  * * *

  Gwen once again found that she was meandering to the practice area reserved for the de Clancey knights, as she walked beside Brida.

  ‘Is there a particular reason we are walking in this direction?’ her friend teased.

  ‘Only because I promised young William Tallany that I would visit and I thought to further my acquaintance with Isabel de Clancey.’

  ‘No other reason?’

  Gwen ignored that. She had initially kept away, after the near disaster in Ralph’s tent when he had almost kissed her. Although, if she were honest with herself, she had yearned for his touch. But that kind of honesty served no one and only led to further heartache. Indeed, the life she had once coveted was no longer possible for Gwen, despite any renewed feelings she might have for Ralph. What she had done six years ago to ensure his safety from his cousin in the aftermath of his father’s death had sealed her future. For good. And nothing could ever change that.

  Still, the moment in the tent did allow for the first proper discourse between them in a very long time. Gwen had been in earnest when she had told him that she believed in him.

  Gwen wanted to know how Ralph was progressing, while pushing away other ridiculous notions about the man, which would serve no one.

  They were greeted warmly by Eleanor Tallany, her young son and Isabel de Clancey. William rushed forward towards her and grabbed her hand.

  ‘Good morrow, Gwen!’

  ‘And to you, William Tallany. Come, allow me to introduce you, your mother and Lady Isabel to my friend, Brida.’

  The small boy bowed. ‘And you are wearing a dress.’

  ‘Indeed.’ Gwen chuckled as his mother shook her head at him.

  ‘I’m happy to make your acquaintance, young sir, and you, my ladies.’ Brida smiled at William, before inclining her head at Eleanor Tallany and Isabel de Clancey, who returned the courtesy.

  ‘Welcome, Gwen, Brida. We are, as you can see, taking great interest in one particular combat.’ Isabel smiled warmly.

  ‘Yes, our friend, Ral—’

  ‘William!’ his mother admonished. ‘Do not forget what we have spoken about.’

  ‘Oh, yes, whose name we cannot speak,’ he whispered behind his hand. ‘He is doing really well.’

  He pointed to the clearing, where many knights were engaged in hand-to-hand combat. And then she saw Ralph tower over a man while Lord de Clancey, Hugh, Lord Tallany and a hooded figure she assumed to be Sir Thomas, looked on, in obvious approval. She felt a fluttering in her stomach whenever Ralph happened to be in her periphery. She swallowed, trying to douse this unwanted awareness that confused and troubled her. She could not have those old feelings for Ralph resurfacing once more. That part of her life was over, with another awaiting her, if she could just bide her time. It was imperative for Gwen to not lose sight of that.

  ‘You’re right, William. I can see that he’s doing very well.’

  That did not, however, mean that Gwen could not be his friend. She hoped with all her heart that Ralph would find success in these endeavours to reclaim his birthright.

  ‘He needs to tilt the sword a little higher if he wants the blade to have a bigger impact across the body.’ Eleanor Tallany seemed more engrossed in the combat than any woman of Gwen’s acquaintance.

  ‘As you can see, Eleanor is far more at home here than in the bower chamber of any castle.’

  ‘Absolutely, I have better things to do than stitch or weave a cloth.’ She chuckled before turning back to the clearing. ‘That’s it! Swipe the sword faster to his right, Ral—’

  ‘Mother, don’t forget the secret,’ William Tallany said cheekily.

  Gwen suppressed the urge to laugh as she watched Hugh de Villiers saunter back towards them. He picked up his son and swung him about before kissing his wife.

  ‘Causing trouble again?’ he asked quietly, m
aking Gwen wonder whether he was addressing his wife or his mischievous son.

  William shook his head. ‘This is Gwen, Papa.’

  ‘Ah, Lady Gwenllian.’ Lord Tallany turned in her direction and smiled. ‘I’m happy to make your acquaintance.’

  ‘The pleasure is all mine, my lord.’ She curtsied, along with Brida.

  ‘You ladies must both join us for a short repast before we resume the training. Ralph will need every bit of strength for what we have planned for him.’

  Just then the rest of the training came to a halt as, one by one, the men made their way back, but Ralph stayed back a moment longer. Gwen could swear that he stood watching her from beneath his helmet, but not before he tipped his head in her direction and made his way towards her.

  ‘Good day to you both.’ He seemed so large, looming over them in all his armour.

  Brida glanced between them with a small smile before shuffling away to talk to the other ladies.

  ‘That was most impressive, Ralph.’

  ‘Thank you. What are you doing here, my lady?’

  ‘Would you prefer us to leave?’

  ‘Of course not, but I believe that your arrival has become a source of intrigue here.’ He tilted his head, still encased in metal, towards where his friends stood. Gwen followed the direction and saw that their small party had stopped whatever they had been doing and observing them, as though they were some sort of epiphany.

  ‘Come.’ Ralph touched her elbow, guiding her away from prying eyes. ‘Tell me, Gwen, is it Stephen again? Has anything happened? Is anything amiss?’

  She smiled. ‘Everything is well, I thank you. I’m grateful for your concern, as I am also for...the fact you seemed to be following me, sir.’ She had sensed his presence on more than one occasion when she happened to be on her own or with only Brida for company.

  ‘Ah, you were not supposed to know.’ His lips twisted into a reticent smile.

  ‘I didn’t until you confirmed it presently.’ Her eyes darted around for a moment before she addressed him again. ‘I did not mean to intrude, Ralph, but only to see how you were faring.’