Flat-Out Love

by Jessica Park

  Huh. Julie had a date. She smiled and put her feet up on the table. Seth was probably going to want an explanation regarding Flat Finn, but he seemed nice, and she could picture him tolerating Celeste’s issues. Julie still wasn’t quite clear on the scope of Flat Finn’s purpose. Well, at least he was an attractive enough cardboard brother.

  “We could come here and do homework together in the afternoons. It’s pretty quiet here,” Julie suggested.

  “It is something to consider.” Celeste rose and examined the paperback books that sat on a shelf. “Do you think you will fall in love with Seth?”

  “I have no idea. I’ve known him for twenty minutes. That’s not something you know immediately. At least I don’t think so.”

  “You said that you didn’t want ordinary. How do you know that he is not ordinary? Maybe he will turn out to be dull and uninspiring. Or worse, maybe he will make you adore him and then suddenly disappear and break your heart.”

  “Nice positive attitude you have,” Julie said frowning. “Those are all possibilities, but I think I’ll give him a chance anyway. It’s worth the risk.”

  “I do not know about that.”

  Julie sunk further into the cushy couch. “I’m no expert. What the hell do I understand about boyfriends and love anyway? The only way I’m going to learn is by trying.”

  “I think that is valiant of you. Fearless.” Celeste took a book of short stories from the collection and sat back down to read. “I find it a good sign that they have reading material here. This is an inviting atmosphere.”

  Julie pulled out her phone and checked her mail. “Hey, Finn wrote to us. With pictures.”

  Celeste leaned over excitedly and stared at the screen. “What did he say? Quick! Where is he now?”

  “It seems he’s on the scuba-diving leg of his trip. Look.” Julie angled the screen so Celeste could see the photos of Finn dressed in a full wetsuit, snorkel, mask, and air tank. He was saluting the camera in one and falling off a boat in another. The third was taken underwater, and he was surrounded by a school of fish.

  Dear Celeste and Julie-

  In a rush right now, so you both get the same message. Deal with it! You can now refer to me as Scuba Man. My new name entitles me to superhero status, so I expect both of you to give me the appropriate respect. My skills include cutting myself on barnacles, swimming at an Olympic pace to evade sharks, and collecting sand in uncomfortable places in my wet suit. Don’t be jealous; not everyone can be as powerful as I am. Future powers to be determined.

  -Finn

  Celeste beamed. “Isn’t Finn funny? I love him.”

  “Does he ever call the house so you can talk to him?” Julie asked.

  “No. Absolutely not,” Celeste said sharply. “I asked him not to. It makes it easier for me. I would rather just wait to speak with him in person.”

  “I can understand that. And at least you have all these messages and pictures, right?”

  The door to the coffeehouse opened again, and more people came in. Celeste tightened her hold on the book in her hand. “I would like to go home now,” she said. “I need to go home. Right now. Right. Now.”

  “Sure. If that’s what you want.” Julie stood up and went to lift Flat Finn.

  “I will do it,” Celeste hissed. “I will do it.”

  “A couple of contractions here and there wouldn’t kill you,” Julie muttered.

  She took their drinks, while Celeste moved rigidly, picking up Flat Finn with her usual awkwardness. Julie walked ahead, past two teen boys seated with two girls at a table near the exit, calling out their orders to a friend in line. Her heart sank. They must be the reason for the sudden need to leave. Julie cringed as she held the door open and watched Celeste march stoically past them, careful not to look their way. There was a small hope that the teens had conjured up a sane explanation for Flat Finn’s presence. The advantage of being in a major city was that there were weird things to see anywhere. For all she knew, there were cardboard boys riding the T and auditing classes at Harvard. But one of the boys looked at the cardboard Finn and tapped the girl on his left to show her. She turned her head and giggled, her eyes wide and mocking.

  Celeste brushed past Julie, onto the sidewalk.

  They go to school with Celeste. Julie could tell.

  She turned toward Seth at the counter and waved. “Thanks for letting us borrow your display for our theater performance,” she said loudly. “We’ll return it in good condition!”

  Seth looked quizzically at Julie and then nodded slowly. “Yeah. Sure thing. Don’t damage it, or you won’t get your deposit back.”

  Julie shut the door and caught up with Celeste. “Do you know them? Those kids?”

  Celeste shrugged.

  “You know them, don’t you?” Julie unlocked the car and took Flat Finn from Celeste.

  “Perhaps,” she answered sharply. Celeste got into the passenger seat and slammed the door.

  Julie gently positioned Flat Finn and shut the trunk. She walked slowly to the front of the car, trying to figure out what to say.

  Celeste clasped her hands together. “I have to start a history paper today, so we need to get home.”

  “We’re going.” The engine rolled over noisily. God, did anyone take this car in for regular maintenance?

  “I have yet to determine which topic I will be doing, so we need to get home right now.”

  “Jesus, Celeste, we’re going!”

  Celeste scowled and retrieved Julie’s iPod from her bag. She put the earphones in and turned away.

  Julie smiled. Well, that was damned normal.

  Chapter 12

  Matthew Watkins My visit to the O.K. Corral was… well…

  Finn is God I “Facebook like” you, but I’m not IN “Facebook like” with you.

  Julie Seagle A typical espresso only has 1/3 the caffeine of a regular-size cup of coffee, so all you snobs can bite me. I can out-caffeine you any day. Of course, I can’t pretend to be a giant using a non-giant’s cup, but I’ll deal.

  Julie checked the clock in Matt’s room. She still had half an hour to kill before Seth picked her up, and she’d been hanging out in Matt’s room, hoping to distract herself before her date. So far he hadn’t been very chatty, but at least he didn’t seem to mind that she was in here pestering him. Celeste was reading The Great Gatsby aloud to Flat Finn, Erin was having dinner with colleagues, and Roger had already left for his shrimp study trip. The family was used to his frequent traveling by now, and nobody had made a fuss about his departure. Julie, however, had slipped a, “Have a good trip!” card into his briefcase.

  Just as he’d promised, Seth had called a few days after they’d met to get directions to the house. He was taking her to a restaurant downtown and then to a late showing at the Omni Theater, located in the Museum of Science.

  She flopped back down on Matt’s bed and tried to pay attention to her copy of Voltaire’s Candide. It was hard to focus, knowing that Seth would be here soon. Julie had never gone out with someone on a formal date before. Not that they were actually going anywhere formal, obviously, but it felt a bit old-fashioned to have a scheduled day and time to be picked up by a boy. High school had been much more about just hanging out together. Everything then had felt so casual and relatively meaningless—based mostly on convenience. This date felt different. Seth had gone out of his way to ask her out, and Julie liked that.

  She watched Matt squint seriously at his computer as though at any moment he was about to make a breakthrough discovery that would earn him the Nobel Prize for some incomprehensible scientific digital-magnetic-opti-something or other. Well, if he won, she would valiantly take him clothes-shopping so that he could attend the awards ceremony in something besides the awful shirt that he had on.

  “Matt?”

  “Yeah?” he said distractedly.

  “Let’s discuss your choice of attire for the evening.”

  Matt hit the touchpad a few times. “Really? What aspe
cts would you like to discuss?”

  “Let’s discuss how lame it is.”

  “That doesn’t sound like the opening of a discussion. It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind about how you feel, so I’m not sure what’s left to discuss.”

  Julie rolled onto her side. “I’d like to hear the thought process you went through when selecting that shirt. Let’s face it, there are thousands of clothing options out there for you to choose from, and yet, despite many stylish shirts that could flatter you, you selected that one. So I’d like to hear what led to the purchase. Ready? Go.”

  Matt backed his swivel chair from the desk and turned toward her, resting his palms on his knees. “The shirt says Geek. What’s to talk about?”

  Julie looked at the print on the shirt again and groaned. “The shirt is a nice shade of blue. I’ll give you that. Otherwise I don’t think it conveys much that’s positive about you.”

  “It positively conveys that I’m a geek.”

  “Ha ha. Very funny.”

  “You may find my label unappealing, but it could be worse. At least I’m not a font nerd.”

  “A what?”

  Matt smiled. “You know. People who love fonts. There are people who go to a movie and get agitated because, while the movie is supposed to be set in 1962, the restaurant awning shown in the background of some scene is printed in Arras Bold, which wasn’t invented until 1991, so clearly the producers of this movie are insane and should be beheaded.”

  Julie shook her head. “You’re totally lying. Nobody cares about that crap.”

  “I’m not lying. Look.” He picked up his laptop and sat down next to Julie on the bed. “A simple search is all the proof you’ll need.” Within seconds he’d pulled up thousands of search results verifying the existence of these font nerds. “There’s even a shirt for them.”

  “What does it say? I Brake for Fonts?”

  “No. It just says Helvetica, which is a very well-known and well-loved font, but the T-shirt’s font is in Comic Sans, which font nerds absolutely detest.”

  Julie clapped her hand to her forehead. “Wait, there are loved and unloved fonts?”

  “For some people, yes. And check this out. There’s a font conference called TypeCon.” He opened a new web page. “Unfortunately the schedule for the upcoming conference isn’t up yet, but past lectures include, ‘Open Stroke Surgery: A Dissection of Letterform Bodyparts into Modular Elements for a Flexible Prototyping Base.’ Julie, you don’t want to miss this. I think you better register early so that you can get into all of the best lectures.”

  She feigned looking at the web page with grave interest. “Obviously. It’s been a lifelong dream of mine to attend a font conference, and I would never forgive myself if I didn’t make it this year. Thank God you reminded me in time.” Julie put a hand on his arm and looked at him seriously. “Matthew, confess now. Are you a closeted font nerd? Do you go to these conferences? I promise I won’t respect you any less if you are. OK, fine, secretly I will, but it’s better to get this off your chest and be who you are, than to live in deception. Hiding the truth will only cripple your emotional development.”

  “More than it’s already crippled?”

  “Yes.”

  Matt frowned. “Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you. I’m not a font nerd. You can email me in Papyrus, and I won’t care.”

  “Fine. When you’re hard at work at school one night and you get a whining note from me about my multivariable calc homework, and I beg you for help, I don’t want to hear any complaints about my chosen font.”

  “You’re taking multivariable calc? That’s great!”

  She slumped back onto the bed. “No, it’s not great. The school figured out that I’d already taken calc in high school, and they made me take some test that unfortunately I passed. So now I’m stuck.”

  “I’m happy to help if you need it.”

  “I’ll hold you to that.” Her phone sounded, and she reached onto the floor to retrieve it from her purse. Seth was calling her. He was probably going to bail, and she’d be forced to discuss geek sub-genres for the rest of the night. She answered the call. “Hey, Seth.”

  “Julie? I’m on your street, but all these houses are buried behind foliage, and I can’t see any street numbers.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll come outside and flag you down.”

  “Awesome. I can’t wait to see you.”

  “Same here. See you in a minute, Seth.” She hung up and got off the bed.

  Matt moved back to his desk, repositioning his laptop and adjusting the lumbar support on the chair. “Where are you off to?”

  Julie sighed and waved her hands across her body. “My hot outfit and excessive eye makeup didn’t indicate that I have a date tonight? Wow, we need to get you off the computer more.”

  “I did notice that you look dressed up tonight,” he admitted. “Have a good time.”

  “Thanks,” Julie said. “You know, Matt, I can stay home with Celeste sometimes when your parents are out so that you can have a social life. You must have friends asking you to do things. You have to hang out with them sometime.”

  He shrugged. “I really don’t have time for socializing these days. Don’t worry about it. Go have fun.”

  She felt bad that Matt was stuck at home with his sister. He was in college. He should be out having fun. Not that he looked like the sort that was aching to do keg stands at a frat house, but still. There might be a physics bee some Friday night, and he could return home with a nice ribbon for having spelled “coulomb” or “neutralino” correctly. Why in the world was he catering to Celeste’s bizarre needs? Why did it seem like Flat Finn governed the household? Things were really off here. Matt was a nice guy, and he deserved better. Well, it wasn’t like there was anything to do about this now. Maybe she could figure out something later.

  “If he’s a monstrous date, I will call you to come rescue me. We need a code word that signals I’m in date hell.” Julie said, as she walked to the door. “Something you’ll respond to. Aha! I’ll mention some boring mathematician. So when I call and say Fibonacci, you’ll know that you have to fly out the door.”

  “That’s kind of an obvious choice, but, fine.”

  Julie glared at him. God, he was annoying sometimes. “Karl Gauss, then.”

  “Eh, that’s all right. Again, a bit obvious.”

  “Then I’ll surprise you. And I’ll make it a good one. Just you wait.”

  Matt leaned back, put his hands behind his head, and smiled. “…With bated breath,” he quoted.

  Julie cocked her head. “Is that the colloquial baited with an ‘i,’ or the original, insulting Shakespearean bated without?”

  Matt winked. “I’ll give you the ‘i.’”

  Huh. So he knew Shakespeare, too. Julie paused for a moment and then began to leave. “Bye, Matt. Maybe I’ll text you in Webdings later and give you an update on my evening.” Her heels clicked soundly on the floor as she headed down the stairs.

  “Webdings one, two, or three?” Matt’s voice rang through the stairwell.

  “I’ll mix and match!”

  She went out the front door and down the porch steps. She looked to her left and saw headlights inching down the road. Julie waved. The car sped up a bit and then slowed in front of the Watkins’ house.

  Seth pulled the car to a screeching halt and bounded out of the driver’s side. “Julie! I found you!” He rounded the car and gave her a hug.

  “I’m glad you did.”

  Maybe the first thing one notices on a date should not be how someone smells, but as he wrapped his arms around her, she couldn’t help but inhale. He smelled masculine. And not in a stinky, too-much-cheap-cologne way. Masculine in a hot, rugged, delicious way. She liked the feel of his arms around her and the way he hugged her warmly and confidently without being too forward.

  Seth moved away and opened the car door for her. “Not that I didn’t enjoy my drive around the back streets of Cambridge,
but I hope you didn’t think I was blowing you off.”

  Julie got in and buckled her seat belt. “Don’t worry about it.”

  Seth shifted the car into gear. “I’m such a dork. I wrote your address down on a piece of paper, and I have the worst handwriting in the world. I wasn’t sure if I was looking for twenty-one, or seventy-one, or twenty-seven, or… Well, it doesn’t matter now.”

  “You’re not a dork, but speaking of dorks,” Julie said as she turned her body toward him, “I just found out the weirdest thing. Did you know there are people who are font nerds?”

  Seth grinned. “Let me guess. People who get turned on by the many exciting facets of the world of typesetting?”

  “Exactly! It’s one of many unique dorky sub-genres! Or nerdy sub-genres. I’m not really sure exactly how the classification system works.”

  “I’m a little scared that you know this.”

  “So am I,” Julie agreed. “So am I.”

  “Please don’t jump out of the moving car, but I have to tell you up front that I am not a font nerd. Or much of any nerd, really.”

  “You’ve just earned another bonus point.”

  “Just one?” He flashed his adorable smile as he drove them into the city.

  “Fine. Five points.”

  “Now you’re talking.”

  PART TWO

  Chapter 13

  Julie stood on her tiptoes, desperately trying to retrieve the duffel bag from the top of the closet shelf. She finally looped a finger around the strap and pulled it down, causing it to land on her head. She hated traveling, and if the packing situation was any indicator of her trip’s success, she was not headed for a smooth flight. As if navigating an airport wasn’t enough of a hassle on the day before Thanksgiving, she was desperately trying to condense her belongings so that she wouldn’t have to check any luggage.