Pretend To Be Mine

by C. Morgan

  “I’m not on the table as an option,” I told him as firmly as I could manage. He was a hard man to say no to. There was something about the kindness of his bright blue eyes and the crinkles in the outer corners from years of laughter that pulled me in. He hadn’t always been the man pining after his ex-wife and the family they had together. At some point, he’d been happy and fulfilled, and all those impressions still remained in his face. Even his designer glasses couldn’t hide that from me.

  “I know,” Rylen said.

  “I have another redhead. Did you see her last night?” I flipped a few pages into the album. If this was about my looks, there was no reason why he’d say no to taking Amber. She was a sassy little whirlwind and bound to be a good time, not to mention she was absolutely drop-dead gorgeous.

  Rylen put his hand over mine to stop me from flipping more pages. “It’s not about the hair or the looks.”

  This man was going to be the death of me. Would he be the first client I couldn’t satisfy? Were these extra hours I was putting in with him going to amount to nothing after all?

  “Then what is it about?” I asked.

  Rylen sighed. He leaned back in his chair but I could still feel the warmth of his touch on my hand. “You’re everything my ex wasn’t,” he said. “You’re fire and smoke where Mona was ice and glass. I know I could never land a woman like you in a million years, Natalie. And my ex knows that too. So if she saw me at her wedding with a woman like you? Well, it would really grind her gears, and I can’t help but replay that little fantasy over and over in my head since the first moment I saw you.”

  My throat felt a little tight. My cheeks a little hot. My breath a little fluttery. “Oh.”

  Rylen ran his fingers through his short brown hair. It was already a little disheveled on top, most likely from running his fingers through it just like that over the course of the day. He did have a stressful job, after all. “Sorry, was that a bit much?”

  I shook my head. “No, not at all. Again, I’m—”

  “Flattered?”

  A breathless giggle escaped me and I wished I could have swallowed it before it got loose. “Yes. You sure know all the right things to say, don’t you?”

  “Not usually.”

  “You’re just on you’re A-game tonight, then?”

  “Perhaps. Although I don’t know if I’d consider admitting an embarrassing fantasy about a woman I hardly know is my A-game. If it is, that’s a little sad, no?”

  I didn’t think so. I thought it was refreshing and vulnerable. And very honest. There was something compelling about a man who could speak exactly what was on his mind without faltering.

  I was beginning to wonder why this Mona of his left him in the first place. From where I was sitting, Rylen seemed perfectly charming, sweet, attentive, and masculine. He was a catch on paper and in the flesh.

  “Well Rylen, if you keep playing your cards right, I doubt you’ll be single much longer. You have a lot to offer.”

  He scoffed. “I’m an overworked veterinarian who gets peed on at least once a day, a single father who only gets his daughter once every other week, and I like crosswords. Do I really have a lot to offer?”

  His words surprised me.

  I snorted into my wine glass from which I’d been about to take a sip, hiccupped and coughed until I managed to swallow, and rocked back in my chair as laughter rolled over me.

  Rylen chuckled and watched me break down. His eyes sparkled as his gaze followed me as I rocked back and forward again, slapping my thigh.

  I pulled myself together and fell quiet under his intent stare.

  Why was he looking at me like that? Men never looked at me like that. Usually, they looked at me like this thing they wanted to use, taste, or be seen with. But Rylen?

  He looked at me like he truly saw me.

  I wiped tears away from the corners of my eyes with my thumbs. “I don’t think I’ve done a crossword since elementary school.”

  “Nice dig. No wonder Grady is friends with you.”

  I laughed again. Damn him, he was funny. And he was making me feel flustered. Men never made me feel flustered! I was the one who was always in control. “It wasn’t a dig. It’s kind of embarrassing, actually. Aren’t they supposed to be good for memory and brain activity? I heard they prevent Alzheimer’s.”

  “I don’t think you have to worry about that.”

  Why are you talking to him about Alzheimer’s, Nat? Get it together!

  If Victoria were here now, she’d be whispering in my ear how I was off my game, and she’d have been right. I was off my game. Usually, a guy could use every line in the book on me and I wouldn’t so much as bat an eyelash. Rylen, however, was doing the exact opposite. He wasn’t using any lines. He was admitting to liking crosswords, for crying out loud, and that was doing something for me.

  And to me.

  My stomach was filled with butterflies.

  I tried to tell myself it was heartburn from the wine.

  Who are you kidding? You’re crushing on him.

  And for what? For the way he looked at me? For how vulnerable he was?

  Maybe he was only vulnerable because his ex-wife had crushed his soul under the heels of her shoes when she walked out on him and left him for another man. A wealthier, younger, more respectable man, it seemed. How else would he have been able to afford a wedding in Paris?

  I didn’t even know her and I didn’t like her.

  Rylen struck me as the sort of man who deserved better. I gave my head a shake. I always wanted to go for the man who needed to be fixed—who needed a woman to sweep in, take care of him, and get him back on his feet.

  That hadn’t worked out for me in the past. Why would it work for me now?

  A little voice whispered in my ear that Rylen was different. Those eyes, that smile… he was genuine. Raw. None of the things he was saying were manipulative. He didn’t have a strategy or an end game. Sure, he wanted me to go to Paris with him, but he’d accepted that I was turning him down and for good reason.

  What were those reasons again?

  Rylen started flipping through the album again.

  I chewed the inside of my cheek and watched him.

  You’re not an escort anymore, for starters, I told myself as my mind ran a mile a minute. You’re a matchmaker. A business owner. The girls need you here. It’s the Christmas season. You can’t duck out and let him sweep you away to Paris.

  “They’re all beautiful,” Rylen said.

  “There’s no wrong choice in there,” I said thinly.

  God, I was flustered. I set my wine glass down. No more of that. I already felt all hot and bothered and the wine wouldn’t help.

  I nodded at the girl the album landed on. Moira. “What about her?”

  He shrugged and flipped the page.

  Penny.

  “Her?” I asked.

  He shrugged again.

  The page fell open to Anya. “What about Anya? She’s sexy, spunky, and definitely not icy or fragile like glass. She’d give your ex and her wedding guests something to talk about with those long legs.”

  Rylen frowned. “Nope.”

  I picked my wine glass back up after telling myself I shouldn’t drink anymore, polished off the last three gulps, and smacked my lips. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

  He gave me a wry smile that teased the butterflies in my stomach. “Not impossible. I’m just a guy who knows what he wants.”

  Chapter 14

  Rylen

  When I noticed after a quick glance at my watch that it was nearly eight o’clock in the evening, I was shocked. How had the time passed so quickly? It felt like I’d just sat down half an hour ago. Natalie had made her way through two glasses of wine and was presently talking about reaching out to another agency to see if she could find a girl who matched my apparently “tedious” list of requirements.

  I didn’t know how to tell her there was no other girl besides her. It sounded insane.
Truly insane. I hardly knew her. And she didn’t owe me shit. She’d told me no a dozen times over and I was the asshole still asking. I knew it was rude. I knew it was the kind of thing that would piss me off if a man did it to my daughter in the future.

  You need to stop, I told myself as I set my empty glass down. I’d only had one since I had to drive home.

  “I think I’d better get out of here,” I said. “I didn’t realize what time it was and I’ve taken up more than enough of your time.”

  Natalie blinked up at me and I did everything in my power not to let my gaze wander down the front of her shirt. Her cleavage, milky, supple, and full, taunted me. “Oh, of course.” She closed the album. “Would you like to take the album home with you to think it over more?”

  Embarrassment rolled over me. “No thank you.” How many times did I have to tell her this wasn’t about what the girls looked like? How could it be? They were all spectacular.

  Natalie tucked the album back under the table.

  “Are you going to hang around here a little longer?” I asked.

  She shook her head before leaning over to blow out the candle. “Nope, I’m going to head home. It’s been a long day and my cat is probably annoying the hell out of my roommate. He likes her and all but he adores me. As he should. I’m fantastic.”

  I chuckled. “Smart cat.”

  Natalie tucked a loose strand of copper hair behind her ear and smiled at me. “Can I walk you out?”

  I followed her out to the front of the office. She opened the door and cool air spilled in from outside. On the sidewalk, people milled past and gave the door a wide berth. The Christmas lights winked at us from the restaurant across the street where couples and families ate by candlelight in the enclosed heated patio. Down the block, someone honked their horn at a passing stranger.

  I turned back to the beautiful woman who I knew would be visiting me in my dreams later. “Can I drive you home?” I didn’t want her driving herself home after the two glasses of wine. I was sure she was capable of making her own responsible decisions but her cheeks were a little rosy from the drinks.

  Natalie leaned up against the door. Her eyes glittered mischievously. “Thank you, but I’m okay. I walk here actually. I’m just a few blocks up the road.”

  “Oh.” I looked down the block. “Convenient.”

  “Convenient indeed. Thank you though. You’re a gentleman. Do you have plans for your evening?”

  I wondered if she was genuinely curious or if she was only asking because it was good customer service. Either way, I answered her. “I have my place to myself tonight since Cora is with her mother this week. Maybe I’ll put my Christmas tree up and surprise Cora when she comes over on Saturday. Or maybe not. She might get mad at me for doing it without her.”

  “Ahh, the wrath of a five-year-old.” Natalie smiled.

  “She’s surprisingly frightening for such a tiny little thing.”

  “As she should be.”

  “What about you?” I tucked my hands in the pockets of my jeans. “What are your plans?”

  “Well,” Natalie said as she twirled a strand of hair around her finger, “I’m going to lock up, head home, take a hot bubble bath, and eat whatever my roommate decided to whip up. She’s better in the kitchen than I am, and she said she’d cook tonight, so I feel like a winner.”

  I wished she hadn’t told me the bubble bath part.

  Now my brain was firing in all directions conjuring images of her naked body concealed beneath precariously placed bubbles slowly fading away on the surface of the water.

  I swallowed. “Sounds like a good night.”

  “So long as the cat doesn’t try to hop in the tub with me, it will be.”

  I chuckled and hoped it concealed how distracted I was. My pants were beginning to feel a little tight. I had to get the hell out of there, so I said goodnight. She stayed at the door and watched as I pulled out of my space in my truck and put her in my rearview mirror.

  Literally.

  Figuratively, I brought Natalie with me. While stopped at red lights, she was in my mind’s eye stripping out of those tight black jeans and her shirt until she was in nothing but a lace green lingerie set. She took those off, too. One foot after the other, she stepped into the steaming bathtub which I imagined smelled like roses and evergreen trees. She sank into the water up to her chin. He breasts floated and broke the surface of the water and beckoned to be caressed.

  “Damn you, Grady,” I growled as I gripped the steering wheel.

  Natalie ran her hands over her milky skin. She dragged a sponge up her calf and over her thigh. Her hand disappeared between her legs. The bubbles slowly popped and disappeared. Her hair darkened as it got wet and fanned out across the surface of the water.

  My phone ringing through the speakers of my truck nearly made me jump out of my skin.

  I answered Grady’s call. “I was just cursing you.”

  “What’d I do?” Grady asked innocently. It sounded like he was eating.

  “You sent me to Natalie, who has completely and unintentionally made me into a bumbling idiot. You’re a real son of a bitch for setting me on her path, you know that?”

  Grady barked out a laugh. “Yeah, she’s a badass. Tread lightly, man. She’ll eat you up and spit you out faster than you can say divorce.”

  “She already has several times over. I’m the jackass who asked her to go to Paris with me. She’s said no three times.”

  “You asked her three times? Dude, throw in the towel. She’s not an—”

  “Escort. She’s a matchmaker. Yeah, believe me, I know.”

  Grady snickered. “You’re not supposed to fall in love with her, man. You’re supposed to let her help you make Mona jealous. Just pick a girl. Book the airfare. Then you don’t have to go into the office and torture yourself by seeing Natalie. She’ll make you forget who you are, Rylen. Believe me.”

  “Sounds like you’re talking from experience.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Uh huh.”

  Grady chuckled. “Look, man, I was calling to tell you to get your shit together and make sure you pick a girl before it’s too late. Mona made some cryptic Facebook post about people springing things on her at the last minute and I couldn’t help but ask her what she was talking about.”

  “Please tell me you’re not starting shit.”

  “I’m not. She told me you were bringing a plus one and didn’t give her much of a heads-up. I told her she’d like the girl. Really respectable. Good for you. Hard working. Loyal. You know, unlike Mona.”

  “You’re a dick.”

  “She deserved it.”

  I couldn’t disagree there. “What did she say?”

  Grady started to chuckle like he used to in college. “She asked me to send her a picture.”

  “No she didn’t.”

  “She did, and I told her to hold her breath and wait to meet her in person. So you’d better pick a girl and not make me look like a clown, Rylen. Mona already hates my guts. I don’t need to give her more reasons to post passive aggressive bullshit on her feed. Doesn’t she know Facebook isn’t cool anymore?”

  I rolled my eyes. “She uses it to stay in touch with family. She’s got a lot of relatives spread out over the country.”

  “She’s not your wife anymore. You don’t need to defend her.”

  I shut my mouth. He was right. That wasn’t my job anymore. “I’ll pick a girl.”

  “Thank you.” Grady exhaled. “Maybe you could pick two and bring one to Zane and Tara’s wedding in the New Year. How long has it been since we had the whole crew together for a big party, new girls included?”

  The landscape of our five friends had changed a lot over the past year and a half or so. Zane had fallen for Tara back on our Vegas trip. Clay and his ex-wife had pulled through and come together after their struggles and were stronger than ever. Nick and Liz were still on cloud nine after their whirlwind romance i
n Monaco.

  The only two men left standing were me and Grady. Had Mona and Logan not ended up together, Grady would be the last single guy of the group.

  “On second thought, it might be fun to go stag to their wedding,” Grady said. “Maybe we could meet some women.”

  “Just what Zane would want, you and I treating his wedding like a hookup market.”

  “Well yeah, what else are weddings good for?”

  I laughed. “I have to let you go, man. I’ll keep in touch.”

  “Send me a picture of the girl you choose.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t want to give you any more ammunition to start an argument with Mona on Facebook over.”

  Grady made a disgruntled sound. “You take the fun out of everything, you know that?”

  “So I’ve been told.”

  After ending the call with Grady, I pulled into my driveway. The lights in my house were all out, so I walked up to a darkened front door and an even darker foyer. I flicked on the lights and shrugged out of my jacket. My living room, barren save for the TV, sofas, and TV stand, harassed me with how empty and plain it felt.

  A Christmas tree would probably fix that right up but I couldn’t bring myself to set it up without Cora. Instead, I heated up some leftovers for dinner, cracked a beer, and watched reruns of old sitcoms I used to watch with Mona on Tuesday nights after Cora was down for bed or when she was still breastfeeding.

  Mona used to fall asleep on the sofa beside me and I’d stop watching the shows and watch my family instead.

  I wondered dimly as I sipped my beer if I’d ever get that feeling back.

  Chapter 15

  Natalie

  A cat meowed in my dream. I didn’t know where I was. The hallway felt unfamiliar. There was a Christmas tree at the bottom of the stairs. No pictures were on the walls to indicate whose house this was or how I might know it, but the incessant meowing sounded like a meow I’d heard a thousand times over.