Pretend To Be Mine

by C. Morgan

  “What’s the difference?”

  “Between a girlfriend and a fiancée? Rylen, don’t play coy with me. I deserved to know who she was to you before I paid for an extra setting for her.”

  My hackles were up. “Like how I deserved to know you were having a two-year-long affair behind my back? Give me a break, Mona. If it bothers you so much to see me happy with someone else, then by all means uninvite me from your wedding. I’d be glad not to waste an entire afternoon watching you exchange ‘I do’s’ while wearing your second wedding dress. I do hope for the sake of your attention to detail that it isn’t white.”

  Mona blinked.

  I brushed past her, Cora still sleeping soundly on my shoulder, and made my way out into the foyer to meet Natalie, who greeted me with a smile.

  I felt guilty for taking a jab at Mona but I let it go. She had no place questioning my antics when I’d done nothing wrong but found someone who made me happy—even if it was all just a charade.

  Chapter 33

  Natalie

  I spotted a little flower clip on the dresser right before Rylen and I left our hotel room the afternoon of the wedding. Frowning, I picked it up and turned it over in my hand. Rylen came out of the bathroom looking sharp as hell in his sleek black tux, and I held up the clip.

  “Is this Cora’s?”

  “Shit,” he breathed, plucking it from my fingers. “Mona will lose it if she can’t find this thing. I’ll have to take it to her.”

  We’d dropped Cora off in the lobby this morning to meet up with Mona and her bridesmaids, who were heading to the chapel early to get their hair and makeup done. Apparently, a full team of beauticians would be meeting them in a back room of the church. Mona had been brimming with nervous and excited energy. In her frantic state, she must have overlooked the fact that Cora didn’t have her hair clip.

  I took it back from Rylen and put it in my clutch. “We’ll bring it to her as soon as we get to the chapel. How do you feel?”

  His tight expression betrayed his lie. “Fine.”

  He didn’t look fine to me. He looked like he was unravelling.

  “Rylen,” I said softly, “you don’t have to pretend this isn’t going to be difficult. I understand, and it doesn’t hurt my feelings.”

  He swallowed and looked down to distract himself by fidgeting with his cufflinks. “I just want the ceremony to be over with. The rest of it… well, the rest of it doesn’t really matter.”

  “Then let’s go and put this behind us, shall we?”

  Rylen and I left the hotel room and made our way down the hall to the elevator. Lucky for us, it was empty, which allowed me to step in close, smooth out his lapel, and tuck a stray hair back into place.

  “You look so handsome,” I told him, letting my finger linger at the collar of his shirt. His pulse fluttered at his throat.

  He closed his fingers around my wrist and brought my knuckles up to his mouth to press his lips to them. “And you look too good to be seen with me.”

  I giggled and shook my head at him. “Impossible.”

  The elevator delivered us to the lobby. We made our way across the marble floors to the valet outside, where we bought a ride in the back of a luxury sedan to the chapel. In the backseat, I adjusted the faux-fur shawl draped over my shoulders. It was a light gray color with flecks of sparkle in it. It went with Mona’s winter wonderland wedding and the sultry indigo dress I had on that made Rylen’s eyes bug out of his skull when I put it on this morning. It showed off my best assets. I felt like a million bucks in it. The glittering ring on my left hand didn’t hurt, either.

  I couldn’t count how many times I’d stared at it on this trip. I also couldn’t explain how it made me feel inside. A flutter of something indistinct took place in my belly every time I laid eyes on it. To me, it looked like it belonged there and always had. It felt like it was truly mine.

  But it wasn’t. It was a placeholder, and technically, it was for everyone at the wedding but me. The ring was there to convince everyone else that I was engaged to Rylen. It had no other purpose.

  Over the course of the morning, it had become an incessant reminder that I was not Rylen’s woman.

  That reminder made me realize that I wanted to be.

  As we sat in the back of the car, he took a deep breath. I glanced over at him as he gazed out the window and wondered what thoughts he was having. I’d been trying to get inside his head for days now with no success. I resented how curious I’d become.

  We pulled up outside the chapel. It was a beautiful small church with stained-glass windows in brilliant shades of reds, purples, greens, blues, and yellows. The snow-covered roof and gardens truly made it look magical, and as we got out of the car, Rylen nodded decisively.

  “All right,” he said more to himself than to me. “Let’s do this.”

  I looped my arms through his and we made our way up the stairs. Guests mingled in the entrance to the church. A harpist in a burgundy gown played a familiar Christmas song. The doors to the chapel were open and a long white carpet carved a line between two aisles of pews. Every second pew started with a pillar, upon which white roses in crystal vases sat. At the base of each pillar were half a dozen flickering candles in glass jars nestled amongst frosted greenery.

  It was more beautiful than I even imagined.

  Rylen must have thought so, too, because he couldn’t take his eyes off the chapel.

  I gave him a gentle nudge in the ribs and took Cora’s hair clip out of my purse. “Should we go find her?”

  He nodded, took the clip from my hands, and led me out a side door down a long narrow hallway. We passed the chapel and made our way to the back of the church where we found the bride’s mother and father. They stopped speaking when they saw us coming.

  Rylen said hello before asking where Cora was. “She forgot her hair clip in the hotel room and I know Mona bought it specifically for her to wear during the ceremony.”

  Maureen gestured down the hall to the last door, which was slightly ajar. Rylen and I thanked them before hurrying down the hall to the door. He knocked, and seconds later, a bridesmaid in a shimmering silver gown poked her head out.

  Her perfectly groomed eyebrows arched. “Rylen? What are you doing here?”

  “I’m here for Cora,” he said. I could hear the defensiveness in his tone. He did not want to be misunderstood. He wasn’t here for Mona.

  “She’s getting her hair done,” the bridesmaid said. “You can’t come in here.”

  I felt him tense and took his hand.

  He held the clip out to the bridesmaid. “Can you give her this? Mona bought it for her to wear during the ceremony but Cora left it in the hotel room.”

  “Oh,” the bridesmaid said. She blinked at the clip and plucked it out of his hand. “Yes, of course. Anything else?”

  Rylen searched her eyes.

  I smiled and ran a hand up his back to rest it on his shoulder. “That was all. Thank you. Tell Cora her father will be in the pews watching her. Being a flower girl is a big deal and he knows how excited she is.”

  The bridesmaid’s gaze flicked to me. The smile she offered was tight lipped and not warm at all. “I will.” She stepped back.

  Rylen stole a look in the room and I saw what he saw. Mona was sitting with her eyes closed while a makeup artist brushed eye shadow across her eyelids. Her dress looked exactly like the classic A-line gown one might see on the cover of a winter wedding magazine. It was strapless and elegant with a high waist and sweetheart neckline. There was no glitz or glam, which surprised me based on what I knew about her. The sparkle was on her veil, however. It lined the edges and the veil had a long train that flowed all the way down to the floor.

  Rylen turned away and walked back down the hall.

  I stole one last look at the woman who used to be his wife before hurrying after him.

  “She looked beautiful,” I said softly.

  “I wish I didn’t think so.” If he was trying to hide th
e sadness in his voice, he wasn’t doing a very good job.

  It didn’t feel good to be reminded that there was still something in his heart for the woman down the hall, but there was nothing I could do about it other than offer him some comfort. I knitted my fingers through his and squeezed.

  He squeezed back. “Thank you for what you said back there. I was a little lost for words. Nicole was never my biggest fan but ever since the divorce…”

  I assumed Nicole was the bridesmaid we’d just run into. She’d looked ready for a fight, like she half expected Rylen to show up and get down on his knees and beg Mona not to marry Logan. She didn’t know him at all. All he wanted was to see his daughter before it became official that she legally had a stepfather.

  I guided him around the corner toward the doors to the chapel. “Let’s get a good seat on one of the ends so Cora sees us when she goes down the aisle. She might get a little nervous when she sees how many people there are, and if she can see you, it will help with the nerves.”

  Rylen liked that idea.

  We drifted down the aisle. I admired the decor and the high ceilings as we found a seat six rows back from the front. Neither of us were too inclined to be up close and personal, but we didn’t want to be at the back, either. Cora was Rylen’s daughter after all. He didn’t deserve to be tucked away in a back row. If Mona wanted him back there, she shouldn’t have invited him.

  About half an hour later, the chapel was full and the harpist had moved up to the front to play the wedding songs. The groomsmen entered first, followed by Logan with both of his parents, who he led to their seats in the front row.

  Shortly after Logan’s parents took their seats, the music started up and all heads turned to the chapel doors, where a tiny Cora stood with a white basket overflowing with rose petals in one hand. She chewed furiously at her bottom lip as she looked around at all the eyes on her.

  Rylen leaned into the aisle and waved.

  Cora’s eyes lit up. My ovaries nearly burst open inside of me as she took five hurried steps down the white aisle. Rylen held up his hand, mouthed the word “slowly,” and watched with pride as Cora slowed her pace. He motioned with his hands for her to pick up the petals and toss them. She mimicked his actions, presumably having completely forgotten what she was supposed to do now that the spotlight was on her.

  I looked around at the guests who were all looking from Cora to her father, who helped her through the whole process. He gave her an award-winning smile as she tossed petals in the aisle and onto the laps of people sitting on the ends. When she reached our aisle, she stopped, told her father to hold out his hands, and dropped a handful of petals into his open palms.

  “I love you, Daddy,” she cooed.

  My eyes filled with tears.

  Rylen put a finger under her chin. “I love you too, sweetheart. You’re doing a great job. Keep going and wait for your mother at the top of the steps, okay?”

  She nodded, faced forward, and continued the rest of the way down the aisle, delighting guests as she grew more and more confident with her petal tossing.

  Rylen watched her until she reached the top. He turned to me and held up the petals in his hands. “She gave me more than anyone else,” he said, a cheeky smile on his face.

  I laughed and wiped away tears that made him frown.

  He didn’t have a chance to ask if I was okay. The bridal music began. Everyone got to their feet.

  Mona appeared at the end of the aisle in all her glory. Her veil fanned out behind her as Nicole fluffed it up. She took her first step into the room on her father’s arm and a hush fell over all the guests. I shot a glance up at Logan, who swelled up and seemed to hold his breath as his soon-to-be wife made her slow procession toward him.

  He was absolutely in love with her. I could see it in the crinkles at the edges of his eyes, at the way he fought the lump in his throat, the way he shifted his weight. Mona had eyes for only him as she approached the stairs. She passed our line of pews and Rylen’s gaze followed her until her father gave her away to Logan. The bride and groom whispered something to each other that made them giggle.

  I reached down and took Rylen’s hand. Slowly, I ran my thumb over his knuckles to remind him that he wasn’t alone. I wasn’t sure if he received the message, but I didn’t let go of his hand for the duration of the ceremony.

  Chapter 34

  Rylen

  Natalie and I found our place settings in the grand ballroom at the hotel shortly before the reception began. While Mona, Logan, Cora, and the bridal party remained at the chapel for their photography session, the rest of the guests returned to the hotel for drinks and hors d’oeuvres in the lounge. After an hour of mingling, we were invited to go into the ballroom, where everyone was knocked on their asses by the grandeur of the room and the staggering beauty of the decor.

  It looked like a reception fit for royalty. Everything was silver, gold, powder blue, and white. Women whispered about how stunning it was while men mused over the cost of such extravagance. While they gossiped, Natalie and I got comfortable at the table in the corner of the ballroom farthest from the head table where the bride and groom would sit—and Cora.

  Natalie seemed irritated that Mona would stick me all the way back here but I didn’t mind. I kind of preferred it. Mona likely didn’t want me in any of her wedding photos, and truth be told, I didn’t want to be in them. She and I already had albums of our own wedding photos. We didn’t need any more together.

  We shared our table with Mona’s old coworkers and college friends. They were all people I knew by name but not all that well. Nobody asked me questions. Nobody wondered who Natalie was. Nobody fussed over us. We were able to sit and wait for the arrival of the bride and groom in peace while we sipped champagne.

  Natalie leaned into me and bumped her shoulder against mine. “Have I told you how adorable it was when Cora lit up like a Christmas tree when she saw you during the ceremony?”

  I smiled as I recalled how eagerly my daughter had rushed forward with her basket of rose petals. Her reaction to seeing me certainly ebbed away some of my fears about being replaced by Logan. I doubted he ever received such a warm reception from my little girl. “She was excited, wasn’t she?”

  “You’re her whole world, Rylen,” Natalie told me.

  I gazed into her worldly green eyes. For the hundredth time over the past twenty-four hours, I was grateful to have her by my side. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”

  “Sure you could have. You just wouldn’t have done it as gracefully.”

  I chuckled. “You’re right. I’d probably be drunk by now.”

  “A bad look for an ex-husband at a wedding.”

  “Maybe I should give a speech.”

  Natalie giggled into her hand. “I can hear the opening line now. Welcome back, family and friends. Whoever would have thought such a good thing could come from adultery?”

  I laughed into my champagne flute.

  Natalie grinned proudly. “Good, huh?”

  “Do we need to do some shots so I can pluck up the nerve to do that?”

  “No,” she said firmly. “The only ass at this wedding is Alphie. Let’s keep it that way.”

  We both peered around the ballroom knowing we’d be able to spot the delinquent cousin somewhere.

  Natalie spotted him first chatting up a couple of pretty young women. “There he is peacocking,” she said, nodding across the room.

  “Ah yes. Poor girls. Should someone warn them?”

  “Warn them?” she scoffed. “Anyone with half a brain, ears, and eyes can tell he’s a class-A douche bag.”

  “Who would be considered a class-B douche bag?”

  “Mona,” Natalie said matter-of-factly, “for cheating.”

  My ribs were starting to hurt from laughing. “And class-C?”

  “Us, for pretending to be engaged at her wedding.”

  More laughter ensued until we were in stitches and wiping the corners of our eyes dr
y. We toasted to being class-C douche bags instead of class-A and were about to flag down a server to top off our champagne when the room fell quiet and the emcee announced the newlywed couple, Mr. and Mrs. O’Neil, for the very first time.

  Mona O’Neil, I thought as the doors opened and Mona and Logan strode into the ballroom with Cora between them beaming like a ray of sunshine.

  The room erupted in applause. The bridesmaids and groomsmen followed them in and everyone made their way to the head table. Mona and Logan smiled and waved at their guests and I was glad to be tucked away so I didn’t have to slap on a smile and pretend to be thrilled for them.

  Although admittedly, I wasn’t unhappy anymore. Yes, the ceremony had been a little rough. Seeing Mona in her dress that first time had also been difficult. But now that I’d adjusted to it and now that the wedding was over, I felt relieved.

  I felt like I could move forward.

  I reached under the table and put my hand on Natalie’s thigh.

  Shortly after the bride and groom entered, dinner was served. Servers dressed in white suits passed through the room to top off wine glasses and set silver platters down in front of everyone. Natalie and I enjoyed our meal of tender roast beef served with gravy, carrots, Yorkshire puddings, and greens. We washed it down with free wine which made it easier to endure the hour of speeches that followed the meal.

  We exchanged bored looks during the ordeal which were picked up on by some of the people at our table, who seemed equally as unenthused by the sentimental drivel coming from the bridesmaids, family, friends, and best man. When the speeches finally wrapped up (only because the emcee intervened), the dance floor opened for the bride and groom to share their first dance. The lights dropped low and the candles flickering on tables made the room feel quite romantic. The music swelled up until the song shifted into something new, and Mona motioned for her father to join her for their father-daughter dance.