“Okay, well, let’s get some pictures of you girls,” he went on, whipping out his phone. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as I handed him mine instead.
We did all the poses we could. Silly poses, serious poses, poses where we contemplated life itself for a few short moments before bursting out and laughing. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
It was Diane who said, “While you were upstairs getting ready, your father and I had a talk.” She glanced to my dad, who nodded. “We’re ending your punishment. You’re no longer grounded. If you want to go over Georgia’s house after the dance, or if there’s any after parties—” At that, my dad let out a groan, but Diane pretended not to hear him. “—you can go.”
All because I apologized to her? Well, if I would’ve known that, I would’ve apologized sooner.
Joking, mostly, because before tonight, I wasn’t ready to make up with her.
A car pulled in the driveway, and my dad peered out the window, watching as Christian walked to the front door. “Looks like your date is here.” My dad didn’t sound happy. Whether or not he knew Christian was one of the boys who’d bullied me back in junior high and elementary, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know if I ever told him.
My dad beat me to the door the moment Christian rang the bell, and as Christian said “Good to meet you, sir,” they shook hands.
“Christian,” my dad whispered his name. “You better take care of my daughter tonight.”
I cringed, absentmindedly rubbing my wrists beneath the bracelets I’d put on. The sparkly bits would distract people from my scars, at least for a little while.
“I will,” Christian said, his blue gaze finally falling on me as he entered the living room, where Diane, Georgia and I stood. His eyes fell, slowly traveling up my body, taking in the dress, the fact that it was strapless, and how it hugged my every curve. When our eyes met, my breath caught in my throat. “You look beautiful.” To Georgia, he added, “You both do.”
We weren’t the only ones who looked good. Everyone looked better in nice clothes, and Christian was no exception. His body looked wider, his shoulders even more square underneath his button-up shirt and vest. The vest and his tie were the same color red as my dress, his pants a sheer black. His short blonde hair was combed gently to the side, gelled to stay that way. He looked…better than I’d ever seen him.
Something inside of me twisted. My heart? My stomach? I couldn’t tell what it was, and as we did round two of pictures, this time with Christian, I shrugged off the uneasy feeling growing inside of me.
At five minutes to seven, we all shuffled to Christian’s car after saying goodbye to my dad and Diane. I got in the passenger’s seat, while Georgia slid in the back. The moment Christian got in, he swore, “Damn it. I didn’t get you a…a—”
“A corsage?” Georgia offered from the back.
“Yeah, that.” He looked at me, and I only smiled.
“It’s okay. It’ll just get in the way,” I said with a shrug.
He reached for me, clutching my hand tightly as he whispered, “You really do look good, Elle.” We shared a meaningful look, which made Georgia cough in the back. He got the hint, slowly letting go of my hand.
This was it.
We drove to the school, parking in the first spot we could find. Hordes of high school kids, all similarly dolled up and looking good, stood near the front door. Once we were inside, my ears were immediately assaulted with the sound of music—fast-paced, dancy music. Not my favorite. The cafeteria’s tables were folded and pushed aside, leaving a largely empty room, save for a snack stand and a punch stand, where teachers stood, chit-chatting, handing out cups and small plates of finger foods when students walked up. They weren’t busy now, but they would be later on, once the dance really got going.
Just as Christian was about to reach for my hand, I declared loudly, “I have to pee.”
Christian looked at me strangely. “We just got here.”
I shrugged. “I know, but I got to go.” When his lips pursed, I added, “Don’t worry, Georgia will come with me so I don’t get lost.” I gave him a smile that I hoped was innocent before dragging Georgia along. No one was in the bathroom, because, well, the dance had just started so no one had to pee or touch up their makeup yet.
We were not alone in the bathroom for long.
Alec walked in, doing a bit of a jazz hands motion, a stupid grin on his face. We had to be quick, since we were in the girls’ bathroom, and as my fingers were down my chest, retrieving the flash drive I’d stuck there, his mouth dropped, the smile fading.
“You’re…” He couldn’t find the words to say.
Georgia glared at him. She stood near the entrance, her head peeking out to make sure Christian hadn’t followed us. “I think the word you’re looking for is hot. Sexy. The prettiest girl you’ve ever seen. Pick one.”
I shot her an appreciative smile as I handed Alec the flash drive. I stepped closer to him, my heels clicking on the tile below. With the heels on, I was only a few inches shorter than him. I pressed my lips on his, quickly and softly, asking, “Have you seen Xander?”
The flash drive went into his pocket. “Not yet, but he’ll be here. He’s not a liar.”
I nodded, watching as Alec left the restroom, sneaking out as quietly as he’d come in. I met Georgia near the door, and she asked me, “There’s still time if you want to change your mind.”
“No.” It was tonight or never. I needed to do this. I needed to do it to move on from the past for good.
We met Christian in the cafeteria, and I hooked my arm through his. Twenty feet away, I spotted Jessie with Sarah and her date, the same girl she’d taken to Jessie’s party. Jessie looked amazing, and when we met eyes, I gave her a smile and a nod, to which she smiled back.
We entered the gym, and I couldn’t help but be amazed at the transformation. It didn’t look like the gym at all. There were streamers hanging from the rafters, balloons everywhere, and even a disco ball above the center of the dance floor, where heapings of students were already dancing, grinding on each other.
A small stand sat on the side of the gym, a little podium of sorts, decorated with fake snow. I assumed it was where the senior class would announce who’d won Snowball king and queen. I’d stayed out of it, knowing it didn’t matter in the end. Whoever won, good on them.
And so, we danced. We danced the songs away. Georgia moved along to the beats by herself while I pressed my backside against Christian, grinding my ass against his pelvic area. It wasn’t long before he started to grow hard, and a part of me loved it. I wanted Christian, just like I wanted Alec and Xander.
Xander, who I still hadn’t seen.
I started to grow worried when it ticked past eight and I hadn’t seen him. If he didn’t come, it wouldn’t kill the plan, but Alec would have no one watching his back as he plugged in the flash drive to the DJ’s system and fiddled with it.
Yes, it all came down to the DJ and his projection screen at the front of the gym. He played music videos during the songs, but Alec would have to find a way to pause the song and the video in order to play mine. Georgia would distract the DJ, and Xander would be the lookout. Simple, really.
It was during a particularly fast song when Christian spun me, holding me close. His hands were hot on my back, gripping the fabric of my dress like he wished he could tear it off. His forehead leaned against mine as he whispered, “You really do look good, Elle.”
Was this the genuine Christian? Still, it was so hard to tell.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, saying nothing in response. What could I say? It took all of my self-control to not throw myself at him; feeling his hard-on constantly pressing on me wasn’t helping.
That’s when I saw him. Xander.
He’d just walked into the gym, wearing dress pants and a button-up black shirt, nothing else. No vest, no tie, not like the other boys here. His hands were in his pockets, and he was nibbling his lip ring as he found Alec.
I turn
ed my head, leaning my cheek against Christian’s shoulder, meeting Georgia’s eyes. I gave her a tiny nod, and she scurried off, pushing past the throngs of high school students dancing, heading up to the front to the DJ.
The song ended, and a slow song took its place. I set my hands on Christian’s wide, strong shoulders, moving a few inches off him as his hands fell to my waist. Together, we swayed side to side, dancing to the slow beat of the song. As I gazed into Christian’s eyes, I knew, right then and there, that I had him.
This wasn’t a lying Christian. This wasn’t someone who was only doing this to break me. Over these past few weeks, Christian had come to care for me—really, truly care for me—and I was stunned at the revelation.
“Christian,” I whispered, something tugging at my heart. “I—” What was I about to say? What did I hope to say? Whatever it was, it didn’t matter, mostly because his lips had moved to cover mine, stifling any other word I could’ve said.
His lips were softer than I remembered, melding to mine instantly. His tongue swiped at my lips, and my mouth parted on its own accord, letting him in.
Not for long, though.
The music above us stopped, and a familiar voice—mine—entered the speakers, a picture of myself, sitting on my bed, coming onto the screen where the music videos were playing. A chorus of whats and confusion swept over the sea of students, and as Christian’s mouth left mine, I closed my eyes.
Chapter Twenty-Five
It was a Friday night when my mom told me something I didn’t want to hear. I’d just turned eighteen two days before, and had Leah over. Tonight, even though it was Friday, I told my mom I would spend time with her, so we were on the couch in the living room, under heapings of blankets, watching some cheesy sci-fi movie together. And popcorn. Who could forget the popcorn?
My mom had all but begged for this night, and I’d given it to her, because I couldn’t deny her anymore. She was…well, she didn’t look good. She’d lost weight, looked pale; her face was starting to sink in. She hardly looked like my mom anymore, and that said nothing about her memory problem. Sometimes she had trouble talking, finding the right word, and I’d learned to be patient with her.
“Elle,” she whispered, turning to look at me. Her hair was pulled back in a low ponytail, a soft smile on her face. “I want to…I want to tell you something.”
I held in a sigh. I wasn’t sure what else she could possibly have to tell me, but it wasn’t like I could tell her no.
“When I’m gone, you have to learn…” Her eyebrows came together, and she mentally wrestled with her mind to find the correct word. “You have to forgive.”
Tired didn’t even begin to describe how I felt about this. “Mom—”
“I mean it. You can’t hate them forever.”
I could, and I would. Hell, at this point, I wasn’t even sure who my mom meant. My dad? Diane? The kids from River High? Sure as shit I could hate Christian, Alec, and Xander forever. No one from my past deserved forgiveness, so they wouldn’t get it. That was that.
“Promise me,” she begged, reaching for my hand over the blanket.
I knew for a fact she wouldn’t release my hand until I promised her, so I whispered, “Okay. I promise.” Did I ever think I’d make good on the promise? Not exactly, but that was mostly because at the time, I never thought I’d lose her.
Even though she was dying, I never thought she’d actually die.
Stupid, huh?
So very stupid.
I’d be a liar if I said this was only for me. It was for my mom, too. It was for everyone here who’d been in my elementary class, everyone who’d laughed and gone along with what Christian did. This was for Alec and Xander too, the two who’d followed Christian without question. This was for all of us.
“Hi, there. By now, most of you probably already know me. I’m Elle Payne,” my voice on the speakers said. My voice laughed. “No one told me how awkward it is to have a conversation with a video camera, but here I am. And here are all of you. Sorry to break up your dance, but this is important. This is…well, it’s years in the making.”
Christian’s hands fell from my hips as the throngs of students broke apart from each other, glancing all around.
“This is a confession. My confession tape. I never expected to be back here, never thought I’d ever see any of you guys again, but I’m here now. To be honest with you, I came back with a plan. I was going to rule the school, make everyone love me. More specifically, make three boys love me and then break their hearts.
“Cruel, isn’t it? Spiteful. But not all of you know what Xander Hill, Alec Perry, and Christian Moore did to me.” On the screen, the image of me moved her wrists closer to the camera. I’d worn short sleeves when I taped it for this specific reason. Even with my shitty video skills, my scars were clear. “I didn’t have a good home life, and those three made sure my school days were full of mean jokes and mocking.”
The students around us had finally noticed Christian, and it was like Moses parting the Red Sea; they spread apart, allowing Christian a good view of the screen. Georgia was still with the DJ, and they were both shocked speechless. Alec and Xander were somewhere, watching too.
“They made me want to die. I tried to kill myself, and failed, obviously, and I always hated them for it. I blamed them, even though the action was mine. So when I knew I was coming back to River High, I made a plan. Break the three who broke me. I got dirt on all of them, recorded a bunch of things that I wanted to put together in a video kind of like this. I told Jessie the truth about what Christian did, which broke them up. Everything was going how I wanted it to…
“Until it didn’t. What I didn’t realize before is I’m not like them. I don’t want to break them. What I want now is something I’ll probably never have: peace. This is a confession, but it’s also a declaration. A statement.”
I took a step away from Christian, slowly backing myself up to the doors of the gym. Christian was rapt, unable to look away from the video, as were most of the other kids. I knew what was coming, and I didn’t want to hear it.
Parents and teachers were rushing to the front, finally overcoming the shock of the what-the-fuck moment. I was already out of the gym’s double doors before they managed to cut it off.
Still, I heard my voice, loud and clear, say, “I forgive you. All of you.”
I headed straight through the cafeteria, walking with a purpose, needing air and generally to get away from this place. I slipped off my shoes, carrying them as I exited the school, the cool night air slapping me in the face.
What had I done? I probably ruined what I had with Xander and Alec, definitely destroyed what I had growing with Christian—and I cared, I did, it hurt to know I might’ve hurt them by admitting it was all a game to me at first—but at the same time, it was oddly freeing to have it all out there, for them to know.
I went the only place I could.
I went home.
My dad and Diane were absolutely shocked that I’d come home so early from the dance, and maybe it was my vacant, depressed look, but they left me alone. I went up to my room, dropping the sparkly shoes on the ground as I collapsed on my bed. My body, all the way down to my bones, felt tired.
No, more than that. Exhausted.
A knock on my door alerted me to my dad’s presence. He walked into the room, sitting at my desk. “I just got a call from the school. They said you hijacked the DJ’s equipment to play your own video?”
All I said was “I had to.”
“The principal said he’s suspending you for three days. You and three other boys. They’re taking this as a sign of bullying.”
I chuckled. “Of course they are.” Now they took things like this seriously. Six years ago? All the teachers and other people working at the junior high had turned a blind eye to it. “Did he say anything about Georgia?”
My dad’s jaw tightened. “You got Georgia to help you out with this?”
“I needed someone to distra
ct the DJ.” When I heard him sigh, I sat up, my legs dangling off the side of my bed. “I wanted to bully them back, Dad. Coming back to River High—of course I wanted to. But I didn’t. The video I showed was me coming clean and telling everyone that I forgive them for what happened six years ago.” My voice cracked when I added, “Mom made me promise to forgive them.”
I wanted to cry. I wanted, as stupid as it was, to cry into my dad’s shoulder. This was the night of my breakdown, apparently.
His expression softened. “Oh, honey.” He moved to my side, pulling me in for a hug. It was weird, because I couldn’t remember the last time I’d ever hugged him. “I’m glad you finally did…but couldn’t you have done it more privately?”
I chuckled. “Nope.”
We remained there for a while, until I told him I was tired. He got up and left without a word, about to close the door when our eyes met across the room. “Forgiveness is hard,” he said, smiling softly. “I’m proud of you, kiddo.” Not at all what I thought he’d say, and once I was alone, I let out a sigh.
I changed out of my dress, got in my pajamas, and crawled under the sheets, pointedly ignoring my phone. What would be worse—my phone blowing up from the guys, them asking where I was, or not having a single missed call or text from them? Honestly, I had no idea. I’d say I didn’t care, but that would be a lie.
I cared. I cared too damn much.
Chapter Twenty-Six
The next day passed slowly. I ignored my phone all day, aware that I was probably missing calls and texts from Georgia. I couldn’t force myself to look at it, mostly because I was nervous of what I’d find. If none of the boys had tried to get a hold of me…did that mean they were done with me? I hated the thought, but I understood it. After all, I’d played them from the beginning.
I came here to break them, to get revenge and sate my spite, and here I was, the broken one instead.
I didn’t eat much on Sunday. When Monday rolled around, my dad went into work, and I stayed in bed, really wishing I had a TV set up in here. But no—it was all pink and stuffed animals. Yuck. It needed a paint job and some redecorating badly.
Spite: A Bully Reverse Harem Page 21
