Flawed: (A Psychological Dark Romance) (The Dark Necessities Prequels Book 1)

by Felicity Brandon

  The room was silent now, save for the sound of Lily’s labored breathing, and her heart, which was beating so fast she swore he must be able to hear it, even from his position behind her. Lowering her head, she fought for air, figuring she would need it to get through what was to come. Apparently, that was all there was now. She seemed to have given up on composure some time ago. It was then that Lily heard it. The tell-tale sound of his belt buckle as he presumably gripped the thing. It was only a small noise—nothing at all in the grand scheme of things—yet it sent Lily’s mind into a spin—her fingers gripping around the plush leather as though her very essence depended on maintaining this stance.

  “Let’s get this over with,” he huffed from behind her.

  Lily appreciated the sentiment, but the tone of his voice told her not to have faith in it. Ethan was clearly enjoying this; the power he had over her, or the prospect of strapping her with his belt, or perhaps even worse—both of those things—and the message that conveyed to Lily was beyond terrifying.

  “I want you to count the strokes for me,” he continued. “Can you do that, Lily?”

  She lifted her head at the sound of her name. Fabulous, now he wanted her to speak. Wasn’t being here, half naked and over the chair enough for the man? Why did he need to torture her further? The answer to her questions presented itself in the form of that same unhelpful, nagging tone, and while she knew every word it said was true, she wished she didn’t have to process the reality of it on top of everything else.

  He wants to torment you more, it concluded. He’s doing it for himself—because he enjoys it. You already know that, Lily.

  She pulled in a deliberate breath through her teeth, aware of the nausea swilling in her belly. For Christ’s sake, just do it, she implored him in her mind. If this has to happen, then just do it! Get it over with.

  Lily was so consumed with her thoughts that she never even heard him move. The first recognition of a change was when something connected hard with her prone backside, sending her heart rate racing even further out of control, but it wasn’t his belt. She knew that, and instinctively she knew what it had been. She knew the sensation only too well. He’d smacked her with one of those large palms.

  “I asked you a question.”

  That was almost a snarl, and as Lily gasped, she tried to recall what it was Ethan had asked her. It came back to her in a flash, his demand for her to count each strike echoing around the insides of her head.

  “Yes, sir,” she panted. “I can count.”

  Though she didn’t know if she could. Not really. Right at this moment, Lily didn’t know if she could even withstand the punishment he’d decided upon.

  “Good,” he purred, and he was close to her now—so close that she could feel the heat of his breath against her back.

  And then he was gone.

  Lily stood, braced, or as braced as she thought she could be under the circumstances, waiting for it to start. Waiting for Ethan’s belt.

  Time protracted. It seemed as though she stood there for an age, her limbs cooling despite the tension radiating through them. In reality it was probably only a few minutes—maybe less—before the first stroke came, but to Lily, those minutes went on forever. She didn’t know what she was expecting. Pain, obviously, but she didn’t know if there would be any warning signs. Would she hear the belt moving in the air, the way she’d heard it before? Would he give her a head’s up? The queries filled her mind as she leaned over the chair. Its dark burgundy upholstery had fast become the center of her entire universe.

  Until it wasn’t…

  There was no sound of the belt in the air, or if there was, Lily missed it. Perhaps her head was too heavy with the apprehension, or the noise of her heartbeat was too loud in her ears. Either way, the first she knew was the sound of the impact, and the line of fire that ripped across her skin. She wasn’t sure how much of it had hit her, but it felt like both cheeks had been attacked as the pain began to resonate.

  And fuck, did it resonate.

  The sensation was like nothing else, and it made his palm seem like the memory of a soft caress. This was pain—a real, searing thing that threatened to haunt Lily for the rest of her life—and it was more demanding than she could ever have prepared for.

  “Count, Lily,” he ordered from somewhere behind her trembling body, and Lily was trembling now.

  There was no doubt about that.

  “One,” she puffed. “Sir.”

  She pushed the words out, though Lily had no idea how she managed it. The worse of that realization though was that it meant it would be time for the next stroke—already.

  Lily wanted to cry.

  A new line of fire branded her bottom, making her feet leave the carpet and a cry leave her lips. This was too much. Too. Fucking. Much, and Ethan had no right to expect her to endure it.

  “Lily,” he growled in an ominous tone. “If I have to keep reminding you, then I am adding those strokes I talked about before.”

  Lily heard his words, trying to process them, trying to act upon them, but Jesus, it was so hard. The burn of only two strikes made it impossible to think about anything else at all. Now there was only Ethan, his belt and the sensation as it landed against her exposed and vulnerable flesh. The world outside this room meant nothing. Not her parents, or Jody, or her job—none of it. This punishment was everything—this pain—and beyond that the notion of enduring it. She needed to endure it. She needed to get to the end.

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  Ethan watched her buttocks tremble as he flexed the belt around his hand again. There were already two rather satisfying red marks beginning to show where his leather had connected with her flesh, and he intended to crisscross the rest of her delicious arse with the same pretty décor.

  “Two,” croaked Lily. She already sounded on the verge of tears. “Sir.”

  He smiled at that. This was obviously hard for Lily, probably the most taxing thing he’d asked her to go through so far, but she’d still taken the time and effort to use his title. His cock throbbed with fresh urgency.

  “Good girl, little Lily,” he murmured, allowing the length of leather to fall from his fist once more as he shifted his position to line up the next strike.

  She exhaled at the compliment, and he watched as her small, pretty toes flexed beneath her. Lily’s whole body seemed rigid with tension, like a rubber band that was about to hurtle its way across a room. Despite what she might be thinking at this moment, Ethan could relate. He knew how much a belt smarted against bare skin. He recalled the intolerable brand, and that was the point. He knew that it worked. Whenever his father had taken his belt to Ethan’s backside, Ethan had never crossed that line again, or, at least, Ethan had ensured he was never caught again.

  He swung at her gorgeous arse once more, noticing how her feet seemed to leave the carpet even before the belt had landed. Clearly, she had begun to tune in to the thing, and now Lily could discern the sound it made as it flew through the air toward her. She screamed as it made contact, her hips instinctively rolling forward to try and avoid its kiss—but to no avail.

  “Arse out,” he reminded her in a suitably unimpressed tone, and he appraised her effort as her back reluctantly arched again.

  “Three, sir,” she replied in what sounded like one, long exhalation.

  “Better.” Ethan’s response was curt, but he meant it nonetheless. Lily’s reply had been prompter this time, and her arse was back in a decent position.

  Perhaps it was time to engage his little one a bit more? Ethan grinned at the prospect.

  “Why are you receiving my belt, Lily?” he demanded in a hard tone.

  She flinched at the question. Evidently, Lily had been braced for the next blow, and hadn’t expected to be asked anything further at this stage. “I…” she started. “I don’t know, sir.”

  That was like a red flag to a bull, and Ethan raised the end of the belt and aimed it twice at her reddened behind again, not even allowi
ng her time to name the strike in between.

  “Oww!”

  Her cry filled up the end of the room for a moment, and Ethan used the time to relish the way the muscles in her behind tightened at the unexpected swats.

  “That is nonsense, Lily,” he called out in admonishment. “You do know, and I expect you to admit the reasons, but first you can name the last strikes. We don’t want you losing count now, do we?”

  Lily shook her head, the enormity of the situation seeming to descend on her all in one go. “No,” she gasped. “I’m sorry. That was four and five, sir.”

  Ethan smiled. She made him so fucking hard; he just wanted to eat her all up. Like the big, bad wolf, his mind concluded, and his lips curled even further in wry amusement at that.

  “Go on,” he prompted, though the tone of his was softer now. “Why do you find yourself on the receiving end of my belt?”

  She sniffed, and Ethan tilted his head to catch sight of her face tucked against her chest. Lily was in tears, the water making him stop and catch his breath a little as she fought against the emotion. He had never been particularly affected by a woman’s tears before, and God knows he had seen enough over the years, but something about the look of Lily’s was hypnotic. Ethan wasn’t sure if he wanted to stroke her cheek and wipe them all away, or just grab her hips then and there and fuck her hard until she begged him to stop.

  The conflict in him seemed almost intolerable, and for a fleeting second, he had a vague idea of how Lily had been feeling in recent hours. He knew she was torn between the right thing to do—the thing her head told her to do, and the decisions her heart and sex were making for her. The latter could be considered ill-advised at best.

  “I was rude and disrespectful,” Lily murmured after a moment.

  Her head seemed to hang even lower at the admission, and Ethan swore his cock grew another inch at her response.

  “That’s right,” he mused as he prepared the belt for the next strike. “And for that you’ll receive ten swats of my belt. Five down, and five to go, Lily.”

  A low sob caught in her throat at his verdict, but he noticed the way the muscles in her arms flexed at his words, and somehow, Lily seemed to hold herself with a little more pride. He guessed that knowing the end point in the punishment had helped her, psychologically at least. Now she knew where she was. Lily knew how much more there was to endure, and she knew she could make it.

  Ethan took aim, and landed the sixth strike without any further delay. Lily winced, pulling the air through her teeth as the hurt no doubt reverberated. She rose to her tip toes, but her feet didn’t leave the floor this time—further evidence that his little woman was more determined to get through this.

  “Six.” Lily’s voice was almost a hiss. “Sir.”

  Ethan narrowed his gaze, though he knew she would never register the act. He couldn’t say he liked her tone much, but grudgingly, he had to admit it was probably the best way for her to endure what was left of the penance. He inhaled, deciding then and there how to manage the rest of the punishment.

  “The rest are coming hard and fast, beautiful,” he told her in a much lower tone. “You can count them afterwards.”

  His gaze fell over her arse again, and he bit down on the smile that loomed when the pert muscles of her behind all tightened at once.

  Too fucking beautiful.

  “Brace yourself.”

  It was the last warning she would get, because his belt was already in the air again, on course to land directly with her quivering left cheek. Lily called out in pain, exhaling briefly before her back arched again. It was almost like an act of defiance, stirring his cock, and ensuring he readied the belt for the next swat straight away. Ethan aimed the second of the final set at her right cheek, swallowing down the fresh shoots of arousal which surfaced as she cried out.

  Fuck. Lily was exquisite. So exquisite, that for a moment Ethan wondered what the hell he had done to deserve her. Nothing as good as Lily should be available to a man like him—a killer like him. It just wasn’t right. He sniggered at his own assessment. Since when had Ethan Reilly ever worried about what was right?

  Oh yeah, that was right—since never.

  The last two strikes were delivered one after the other, each as hard as the next, and Ethan dropped the belt to the ground in a display of finality. He wanted to let her know it was over. Lily had received her ten, and she’d survived.

  “Seven, eight, nine and ten, sir,” she rasped.

  The defiance was still evident in her voice, but mainly what Ethan heard now was relief.

  It was over.

  “Good girl,” he purred, already moving toward her. “You did very well.”

  His right hand stroked a soft caress up the back of her thigh, but Lily spun on her heel, straightening up and flying at Ethan in response.

  “Don’t touch me!” she snapped, up on her tiptoes and only a few inches from his face. “Don’t you touch me.”

  The venom in her voice was shocking, but her reaction wasn’t surprising. No doubt Lily was sore after the belt, but she was likely also embarrassed and humiliated, and he wondered if those hurts stung harder than even her fine arse.

  “Careful now,” he told her coolly. “It would be a shame to land yourself back over my knee straight after you received my belt so well.”

  Lily gulped at the thinly veiled threat, stumbling backwards toward the chair. Her small hand grasped the arm nearest her, but as soon as her derriere brushed against the leather, she winced and leapt back in his direction. The soft bounce of her breasts as she moved was hypnotizing, and Ethan was all too keenly aware of the throbbing inside his pants. But there was no opportunity to scratch that itch now. Not right away, at least. What Lily needed was time, and if she’d allow it, some reassurance.

  The palm at the leather clutched the arm rest for what looked like dear life, while Lily’s other hand went instinctively to her backside. “What have you done to me?”

  Her wide eyes suggested what they both already knew—Lily knew the answer as well as he did—and her next words confirmed the point. “I can’t believe you took your belt to me, Ethan.”

  “I did what needed to be done,” he answered in a pensive tone. “And don’t forget your manners, little lady.”

  Ethan’s palm shifted to her chin. He wanted to feel the light touch of her skin between his thumb and index finger again, and he wanted to ensure he had her full attention before he continued, but Lily arched her back, pulling away from his touch.

  “Lily.” He sounded impatient, although he swore he hadn’t meant to. He wanted to soothe Lily now that the punishment was over. He wanted to be that man for her, too. “Don’t be petulant; you need to be held. You need to know you’re loved.”

  “Loved?” she snorted indignantly. “Is that what you call this? Divulging your hideous secret, and then snatching me away to this awful place so you can take your belt to me. Is that what you call love, sir?”

  Her tone was just begging for another dose of over-the-lap punishment, but the hurt look in Lily’s eyes told Ethan that would be a bad idea. She was pushing back against him because she was smarting, and while his belt might be the cause of that sting, that was just the start of it. Whatever came next between them would require a period of readjustment for them both, and for Lily, it began now. She’d been used to a relatively indulged life up until now. An only child of reasonably well-off parents, it seemed as though Lily hadn’t wanted for very much, and based on what he’d garnered from her thoughts, she had more than been the center of both their attention. Ethan guessed she hadn’t heard the word no as often as she’d needed to, and that meant she was either used to getting her own way, or sneaking about behind her mum and dad’s back until she did.

  Life with Ethan was going to be quite different. Yes, Lily would always be the center of his universe, but she would need to remember a couple of important things. Firstly, that he was, and would always be in charge, and secondly, her manners, an
d that meant accepting her penance with grace. As he gazed down at the pouting little woman in front of him, Ethan sighed. Lily had a long way to go.

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  Life had certainly turned out to be more of a rollercoaster than Lily had given it credit for. There was a time not so very long ago, when Lily Simpson had lived a relatively normal life—a normality she’d grown to be dissatisfied with—but as she huddled in the corner of Ethan’s old house, she could barely even recall what had been so terrible about it. What had been so wrong with the routines, the job that had made her smile—even the irritating habits of her parents? Now that she was practically naked and sore, she couldn’t think of anything she wouldn’t swap to have the normalcy back. She missed the soothing routines in a way Lily could never have imagined.

  Ethan shifted from his chair, and she knew without looking that he was gazing down at her again. Maybe he was even looking into her head right at that moment, reading her thoughts? Perhaps Ethan knew better what was going on in her head then she did, because right now, Lily had no idea. She didn’t know why she was here. She didn’t know what she wanted. Did she love him, or didn’t she? And even if the answer to that first question was yes, could any love be enough to withstand this? In her head, she was already aware of the answer. Of course she was—it had to be no. No love could truly be so unconditional that she could condone multiple murders, and what about the way the man had just taken his belt to her? Lily winced as she moved her huddled body. Everything seemed to hurt, from her head, to the fingers that had gripped so tightly to the leather chair, and of course, her arse felt like it was on fire. And not in a good way. Not at all. Nothing about that so-called punishment had been good. It hadn’t been alluring. It had just been painful and awful, and—

  “Lily.”

  Ethan’s voice was soft, but the timbre of his voice was telling. He knew exactly what she was thinking.