Heartbreak Café

by A. R. Perry

  Braden collects his stuff, still laughing as he walks to the front door. “Pick you up for school tomorrow?”

  “Nah. The bus is fine.”

  His nose wrinkles. “It’s the city bus.”

  “Right.” I drag out the word. “It also means I won’t be asked a million questions if I start showing up with you at my side.”

  “People are going to find out, eventually. Won’t it be easier just to tell them now?”

  Uh. No. “Who says I’ll be around long enough for people to find out?”

  His palm slams down on his chest over his heart. “Ouch.”

  “Night, Braden.” My mom calls from the hall.

  “Night, Ms. Bellemore.” He gives me a chaste peck on the lips. “Night, Stell.”

  Once I’ve locked the door behind him I turn to my mom, who’s trying her best not to smile.

  “Don’t think for a second I believe you were asleep.”

  “Passed right out during the show.”

  “Curfew is still ten.”

  “Of course.”

  She turns to leave, calling over her shoulder. “And tell Braden sleepwalking might be a thing, but sleep laughter isn’t.”

  And he said I’m the bad actor.

  BRADEN: What city would u most like 2 live in?

  I smile as I glance over my shoulder and watch Braden walk by with one of the guys—Sam I think—from our English class. Sam is in the middle of some story, but as they pass, Braden looks up and sends me a wink.

  I could melt into a puddle of goo. This has been his MO for the past week since I won’t let him drive me to school. He starts every morning with a question text. We’ve made a dent in that article he found online.

  “What’s got your face all lit up like someone just handed you a fork and a cake all for yourself?”

  I repress a groan as I slip my phone into my pocket and shove the rest of the books I won’t need for the next few classes into my locker.

  “Your face should come with a warning label. May induce vomiting.” I attempt to even out my voice, but the words come out as a snarl anyway. Jesse laughs beside me as I slam my locker shut.

  His finger slips into the waistband of my pants. “Maybe I should hang around you more often, help these pants fit a little better.”

  My palm slams into his chest harder than I mean to. He stumbles back, knocking the books out of the hands of May, a girl in my gym class. Anger flares on his face as he straightens his backpack. He doesn’t apologize to the girl nor does he offer to help pick up her books. Typical.

  I’m too frazzled to offer any assistance either. My breathing has skyrocketed, a panting that barely brings any air in. I swear I can still feel his hands on me. A deep crawling sensation no amount of showers will wash away.

  “What’s the matter, don’t like the truth?” He steps forward, getting in my face.

  A few people have turned our way, but I’m too riled up to back down.

  “You realize I’m not even that heavy, right? I may not be a cheerleader, but I’m not obese.”

  “Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, babe.”

  “Do me a favor and get a life.” I shoulder past him, averting my eyes as several students whisper.

  “Heard you’re trying desperately to.” I stop in my tracks knowing where this is going. Jesse steps up to my back and bends to whisper, “How’s Braden enjoying my sloppy seconds?”

  My back straightens as I twist around. “Screw you, Jesse.”

  “Aww.” He drags a pointer finger down my cheek. “Been there, done that.” With a wink he saunters away, giving one of the guys on the basketball team a high five as he passes.

  On the other side of the hallway I catch Zari watching me, her eyes huge. I don’t know how much anyone heard, but there’s a damn good chance that my whole anonymity is out the window now.

  Well, screw it. Maybe it’s time I give them something new to talk about. They’re going to now anyway, might as well be on my terms.

  I catch Braden by the doors as he’s entering the cafeteria. “Hey.”

  He stumbles a bit as I greet him. “Hey…”

  “Want to join me out on the quad for lunch?”

  He glances around the cafeteria. I’m sure people are staring, but for once I don’t care. So what if Braden and I are friendly. So what if we hang out. If I lay it all out, Jesse won’t have any ammunition.

  Of course, I’ll still have Michelle, but I haven’t gotten that far in my plan yet.

  Step one: Stop hiding.

  “It’s a yes or no, Braden.”

  He rubs the back of his neck. “People will see. Are watching now.”

  “So?”

  “So…you don’t even want to ride with me.”

  “I’ve changed my mind.” We step out of the way as a few students enter. “If the offer is still on the table.”

  “Of course it is, but…” Braden’s words trail off and his focus shifts behind me. Negative energy prickles up my spine. No need to turn around. I know who it is.

  “What’s up, Jesse?” Braden adjusts his backpack. He’s looking more and more uncomfortable by the second. Maybe I shouldn’t have sprung this on him.

  “You gonna come join us, man? Michelle was just telling us this crazy story about some party freshman year.”

  I pivot so I can see his face. “Is it the same party that one of the guys from the basketball team tried a joint for the first time and started bawling because he felt like he ‘disappointed his mom’?” I end the sentence with quotes, letting Jesse know I have dirt on him too.

  Jesse’s eyes narrow. “No, but this one slut gave it up and let the guy take pictures of them in bed.”

  “Did the pictures capture how small his dick is?” I bite back.

  Braden’s eyes volley between us like he’s watching some intense tennis match. I guess in a way he is. Something snapped this morning when Jesse laid his hands on me. I’m so sick of being walked all over. Sick of letting one mistake dictate how I act.

  Yes, I made the mistake of sleeping with Jesse then letting him take pictures to “cherish the moment”. Had I known they would be broadcast shortly after, I might have rethought my actions starting with never going out with the douche to begin with.

  Jesse used me to catapult his popularity. The boy I grew up with died the moment high school started. He didn’t care who he had to run through as long as he ended up on top.

  “What’s going on?” Braden asks.

  Jesse’s jaw is clenched so tight I’m surprised he hasn’t cracked a few teeth. I’ve let him walk all over me for so long I think he forgot that I’ve known him long enough to kick him off his pedestal if I wanted to.

  “Nothing, man.” Jesse glances over his shoulder. I can see Michelle watching us with an intense glare. Her two minions have their phones pointed in our direction.

  Guess they sent someone to do their dirty work. Too bad he’s a chickenshit that won’t do anything if it won’t benefit him.

  “Well I’m going to grab food…Stell, you coming?”

  “Love to.” I want to stick my tongue out at Jesse, instead I leave with my head held high and follow Braden to the short line.

  “What the hell was that about?” Braden asks once we have our place.

  “No clue. He’s your friend. You tell me.” I should take this opportunity to tell him the truth, but I don’t want to do it in such a public setting. No freaking clue how he’ll take the news that I lost my virginity to his best friend.

  “That was super weird.” Braden’s phone rings, interrupting whatever he planned on saying next. One glance at the screen tells me it’s not good news. “Hello?”

  His face pales. He’s nodding, but I’m not sure if he’s taking in any of the information. “Okay. I’ll be right there.” Before he’s even hung up, he’s headed for the door.

  “What happened?” I trail after him as he runs down the hall.

  “My mom…she…she…” He is sha
king as he tries to dig his keys out of his pants pocket.

  I don’t need him to finish the sentence. I grab his hand, plucking the keys from grasp. “Where are we going?”

  Watery eyes meet mine. I hate myself for thinking about how beautiful they are even when full of pain. “University Hospital.”

  “Let me drive you.”

  Braden surprises me when he stops and pulls me into a bear hug, almost crushing my ribs from how tight he holds on. “She’s going to be fine.” I whisper, trying to channel all the calming energy I possess.

  Inside I’m having a panic attack for him.

  He nods into my neck, trying to steady his breathing as I run a gentle hand up and down his spine. After a few seconds he pulls away, keeping his face focused on the ground. I lead him outside and straight to his SUV never once letting go of the death grip he has on my hand until I have to leave him to get into the driver’s seat.

  He’s quiet the whole ride. Tears have dried up, but he hasn’t stopped rubbing the back of his neck and his leg bouncing is so aggressive I’m surprised the car hasn’t shaken apart.

  Once parked, I let Braden take the lead. He seems to know where he’s going and since only a few weeks ago his mother was in the hospital, this might be a common occurrence.

  He talks to one of the nurses at the help desk. She informs him that his mother was brought in via ambulance and instructs him where to go to wait for more information. That’s how we find ourselves in a dirty waiting room.

  Braden’s leg is back to bouncing and his hand has been crushing the bones in mine for the past thirty minutes. I don’t know what to say. When my grams passed it was sudden, and I was too young to remember vivid details about what happened. I don’t even think my mom came to the hospital. She was informed over the phone.

  “Distract me,” he mumbles as a doctor walks by us for the ninth time.

  “Okay.” I lean my head on his shoulder, picking one of the most embarrassing stories from my childhood. “So when I was like nine, my mom was working a lot, even during the summer. My grams lived forty-five minutes away, so they mostly left me to myself. One day I was crazy bored, so I figured I would go walk to the elementary school and play on the swings or whatever. I left a note for my mom on the fridge and rode my bike there.”

  Braden lays his head on mine, his leg still bouncing like crazy.

  “So our elementary was surrounded by a chain-link fence that they lock when not in session. But I’m bored and I figure I’ll just climb it. So I make it to the top and as I’m about to jump over, the edge of my shorts gets caught on one of the loose wires. I end up flipping upside down, dangling by my damn shorts.”

  Braden’s leg slows and I can feel him shaking his head.

  “I tried everything to knock it loose, but I’m at this crazy weird angle and can’t get a leg up. I swear I was like that for at least thirty minutes, trying to get loose. Finally, I shimmy out of my shorts and just fall in a ball to the grass. Right as I’m getting up, my mom pulls up in her car. She gets out and I swear she just stares at me as I stand there in my underwear before she bursts out laughing. The bitch of it was that I had to climb back over so I could go home. My mom loved to tell that story every chance she got when I was younger.”

  Braden laughs at my side. It dies as quickly as it came on. “Why can I picture that happening to you now?”

  “Because it totally would.”

  “There was a park right across the street from our old house. My mom would take me there every day after dinner. Even when I got way too old to play on the jungle gym.” His voice cracks and his leg goes back to bouncing. “Now she can’t even…”

  “What happened?” I whisper. I know what my mom told me, but secondhand information is never that accurate. I want to hear it from his lips. To feel that closeness of trust.

  “She was in an accident. Some drunk driver hit her on her way home from work. My dad was gone on deployment. I was out at a party. I didn’t even realize something was wrong until I stumbled home well past curfew and she wasn’t there.” He runs a hand over his face. “I just went to bed thinking she worked late. When she wasn’t there the next day…”

  He blinks hard, a tear sliding down his cheek. “She wrapped around a pole. The doctors said she was lucky to even be alive. She was in a coma for two weeks. When she woke up…she didn’t even remember who I was. Couldn’t speak. Couldn’t walk. It took months for her to even get to where she could communicate. My dad hired an in-home nurse for when I’m at school and a few nights, but for the most part I take care of her. She still doesn’t even realize I’m her son.”

  His hand tightens on mine. “If I had been home or noticed sooner who knows how this would have turned out. Maybe her brain wouldn’t have had time to swell. Maybe they could have gotten her to surgery sooner. I’ve read every article on traumatic brain injuries that I could find since that day. Different diets. Special exercises. Something has to work. I’ve made it my life’s mission. I’ll get my damn degree in neuroscience if I have to. It’s the least I can do after—”

  “It’s not your fault,” I blurt out. God, I thought I had guilt over my father abandoning my mom because of me…but this…I can’t imagine his pain. I rest my head on his. “This is the fault of some drunk idiot who only cared about themselves or was too intoxicated to make a rational decision. Even if you were home, it wouldn’t have changed what happened. I know you’ve heard all this before. A million times most likely. But know this. Is. Not. Your. Fault.”

  Braden nods, the movement knocking a few of my curls loose.

  My nose burns and I choke back tears. I can’t imagine my mother forgetting who I am. But he doesn’t need my sympathy or my tears, he needs support. So I’ll sit here with him and wait until he finds out what happened.

  I kiss his temple, squeezing his hand as a woman in burgundy scrubs and a tightly wound bun approaches us.

  “Kate.” Braden stands, tugging me up with him. “What happened?”

  Straight to the point. I have a feeling this is the live-in nurse he mentioned.

  Her eyes swing to me and she motions to the hallway with her chin. “Let’s go talk.”

  “No.” Braden’s hand tightens on mine if that’s even possible. “Stella can stay.”

  I swear I see a twinkle in her eye, but she nods a solemn expression taking over as she turns her full attention to him. “I was changing her catheter when she started slurring her words. I noticed that her left eye was really droopy and knew I needed to get her to the hospital fast. I don’t want to step out of line, but I’m thinking it was another stroke.”

  Braden’s face pales. “Will she even be able to pull through another one?”

  “Mr. DiMarco?” An older, graying man asks from behind Kate. He’s wearing a long white coat over green scrubs and holding a clipboard so I’m assuming he’s a doctor.

  “Yes?” Braden lets go of my hand this time and makes his way to the man.

  Kate pats my shoulder when I go to follow and motions for us to take a seat in the same chairs Braden and I vacated.

  “So.” She pins me with a glare. “I haven’t seen you around before.”

  My gaze swivels to her before bouncing right back to Braden. He’s clenching his fists, a serious expression on his face as he nods at whatever the doctor is saying. “Does he bring a lot of girls around?”

  “No. Never actually.”

  This gets my attention. I prop my foot up on the chair as I twist to look at her. “That I highly doubt.”

  “He never brings girls home. Ever. And he certainly wouldn’t bring a girl to the hospital where his mom is at.”

  I don’t even know what to say. Does he consider me special or was it because I was there and he was in shock? My eyes swing to him. His brows are pinched as the doctor gives him a hard pat on the shoulder.

  “It’s about time he had someone to lean on.” Kate’s words draw my attention. Her gaze is locked on Braden, her eyes brimming with unshed
tears. “The boy can’t walk through this world alone. And he certainly can’t be Superman all the time.” Her hand lands on mine and I try my best not to flinch from the sudden contact. “Keep him in line, yeah? He has a tendency to get sucked in. He forgets to eat and go to school. He already gave up football. I’d like to see him graduate.”

  With one final squeeze and no words from me because my brain might be fried, Kate leaves. She gives a quick nod to Braden on the way out. The doctor follows her, but Braden just stands there, staring at the wall.

  I feel the pressure of Kate’s words. Of Braden’s world. Nothing prepared me for this. I couldn’t have seen what was coming from a mile away when I agreed to be his tutor.

  But I refuse to let him go through this alone.

  I snag his hand on the way to the elevators. He doesn’t even argue. He’s a million miles away in his own head, eyes not even focused on me, hand slack in mine. Whatever news he got can’t be good. I know he’ll share it with me when he’s ready, but for now, I’m going to drag him down to the cafeteria and put some food into him and then wait—if he wants me to—until he can see his mom.

  “Are you staying the night there?” I ask as Braden rubs his eyes for the fiftieth time in the past ten minutes. I can barely see his face as he reclines in a hospital room chair with his phone propped against his chest. The lights are off and the screen is casting weird shadows.

  We sat in the cafeteria most of the afternoon. Braden didn’t talk for at least half that time, but I managed to get him to eat a bit of chicken soup. His mom needed surgery. They rushed her to the OR not long after arriving. By the time she was out, I had to leave for work. I hated leaving him, but he said he understood. The faraway look in his eyes said otherwise, but calling off work wasn’t an option.

  That’s why I FaceTimed him the second I got home. I needed to make sure he was okay. That she would be okay.

  “Yeah,” he yawns. “They allow one family member. Since I’m her only one…”

  “How is she?”

  “Asleep.” The phone moves and a few seconds later his full face comes into view. “Doctor says they’ll know more once she’s awake. Kate got here fast, so that’s the good news. The less initial damage with a stroke the better the outcome.”